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I never ever told my (ex) wife. Divorced about 16 years ago. Raised kids as a single parent. But once I retired a couple of years ago. I waited till my son flew the nest. Told my mum and daughter back earlier this year age 57yrs 11months. They are still the only ones who know.
Came out to my Mother around 16...but only because I accidentally ruined a pair of her shoes (long story). Other than her, I have only told two of my female cousins. One at age 17, and the other at age 27.
I told licensed health care professionals as they gained my trust on this over the last fifteen years or so. In the case of those dealing with mental health, it is relevant to my issues. I don't have any issues any more about the crossdressing.
The first person I told was my girlfriend at around age fourteen or fifteen (should have held on to that girl!), and she was great. I told a couple of friends, as well, and lost one on the spot. Haven't really told anyone since.
My mother discovered it when I was 13. As for the rest of the world, I didn't tell them, I showed it to them at a Rainbow Gathering when I was 41.
Hi,
No matter what was said about your self if you were different you would have been cartered off to the funny farm or nuthouse . so no you keeped your trap shut tight. 1950's,
I told Jos what i was / am about 21 years ago. and no to have spoken about being different even then met with indifference, though over the years a few people knew more about myself than i knew, at some point in my life it was going to be shown one way or the other,
Plus i knew my life would be different just how much well thats unfolded, over the last 20 odd years, and of cause im well documented so every one has been told and knows about us .
so after all said and done im too well known now,
...noeleena...
I told my wife in when we been together one and a half to 2 yrs before we got married. I was extremely nervous and she could tell I was thinking of something. Afterwards, she said she was worried that we were going to break up. Still she isn't comfortable with my dressing and I told her I wasn't going to push the matter hoping that she would become more comfortable with time but that has yet to happen. I am glad I told her and that I don't have any other secrets from her. She says that she understands but doesn't really give any support and sometimes it makes me feel negative about wanting to dress. She is the only person I have told and even though our marriage is great and we love each other, I wish that she was a little more comfortable with things. Sorry forgot my age, we were both 22 at the time.
The first person I EVER told about me was my best genetic female friend, three years ago, when I was 36. Knowing she was open minded to begin with and had other cross-dressers for friends, I knew I could trust her, be accepted and she was my first choice. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders for sure. Went shopping with her soon after. I was like a kid in a candy store !
I was 39 and told my soon-to-be-ex-wife (8 years ago). She was having an affair with a coworker and I thought getting it out in the open would help us save the marriage. Boy was I wrong! I've told a Catholic priest in the confessional, but as far as anyone else, no one.
It was only a couple months ago. I am 36. I told a girl that I thought was going to become my new girlfriend, but she didn't accept it.
24...and really didn't let the feminine out of me till recently. First told my partner, and really ended up walking around in front of the roommates one day before going out clubbin.
My ex- knew and tolerated it but later said she did not like "sleeping with a woman". Later she changed her mind and said she would accept anything. She probably would have too. But it was too late.
Told my current wife well before we were married. She raised no objections but after we were married she did object. I don't think she really knew what it was and did not bother to find out.
Anyway I have been completely in the open with my cross dressing for years except with my children, who have long left the nest. I do not want to hide it but as after a long time of living a double life; male in career and part time cross dresser, the barrier becomes very large.
Given my experience I have been a long time advocate of confronting ones cross dressing and sexuality at a young age and if at all possible, seeking good professional counseling. I cannot conceive of the stress of trying to keep it secret from one's wife or partner for decades. I would have gone mad if I had tried to do that. I am awed that there are so many who are able to do so.
I must have been 22 or 23, had to toss a few back at a bar to work up the courage. It must have gone well because five years later I married the person.
My wife discovered when I was 31, but, like the Norse discovery of America, the discovery was lost to history.
She really discovered when I was 54, after almost 30 years of marriage, and a few more of dating and courtship.
She's the only one who knows, well except for my therapists, some doctors, my tailor, my nail tech, some MAs at MAC and Ulta, my local CD friends, and all of you.
I told my wife when I was 23. She accepted me totally (I'm really lucky, I totally love that woman!). I'm going to be 60 this fall and I finally have started coming out to the rest of the world in the past year. I don't know what took me so long, probably fear of what 'others' would think. I should have come out years ago because it really feels good to reveal the other half of me to the world!
How about two ages. Early twenties, went poorly. Mid thirties went well. Age brings wisdom not just from you but friends as well.....
I was 38 Before I told anyone.
I'm 43 and just recently told my wife. Never even considered telling anyone before.
41 and I still haven't told anyone.
Let's see, the first person I ever told was my ex wife. That didn't go well, a few years later we divorced, and she really, really hated me. Next was our therapist. After the divorce, I dated a co-worker, who after a few dates reluctantly admitted that she was gay and just needed a friend to go out socially with while she waited for her girlfriend to get a visa to come and live here. It made me laugh, she got annoyed, until I told her that she wasn't the only one with a secret. When I told her, she got to laugh. We went out together for the next six months, until her girlfriend arrived. Since then, only people online.
I didn't include my coming out to family; none of that went well, I stopped telling anyone, I no longer know who told who else, but I do know that contact from family has stopped almost entirely.
I was 25, 10 years into dressing when I told my then GF because I was thinking of proposing. I had to tell whoever I married because I did not want to hide for the rest of my life. She married me anyways!
First one that caught me was my dad, lied my way out of that one. At nine, we where just playing, I was told not to "play" like that again, or else!
At 22 I told my first wife, that is part of the reason she was my first wife.
At around 35 I told my second wife, she accepted Tina with open arms, and I've been dressing at home every since.
Oh, I did have to explain what a Transvestite was to my big brother, when the first wife tried to use it against me during the divorce, that was a fun ride home, after the hearing.
Those are the only ones that I have ever told, and will most likely be the only ones I ever do tell.
My wife of 44 years is fine with my dressing, and I don't feel the need too share it with anyone else.
Around age 21 to my then wife who I later devoiced.
I was five when I told my best friend that I wanted to be a girl and wear girl clothes. That didn't go well....was no longer my friend and tormented me the rest of grade school.
I never told anyone again until my therapist in Nov 2010 at 54 years old. My wife was next....that didn't go well either. Now we're coparents and friends but not husband and wife. She says that eventually we'll divorce.
Since I've told her three years ago, I've come out TS to all three of my kids (37, 19, 13), three of five sisters and both my brothers. All my coworkers, soccer teammates and a number of important people.
my story is much like others. discovered by my first wife around 25-26, after she walked in on me. did not actually tell her (in a letter) until around age 35. found myself divorced by 38. She tried using it against me both when we were in court and by telling my son. (both instances backfired on her).
determined i was not getting remarried ever, then met my now wife. told her up front, she shared some things with me, and we have been in a dadt now for almost 20 years. she gives me space and time, but has indicated she does not want to participate or ask questions.
I told my first person when I was 19 years old. It was my gay friend. I told him about some of the dreams and ideas I had. After I had told him and felt some relief. I told my bff/gf at the time and she actually went and bought me panties. I couldn't believe it. But she also was the type of girl that was so madly in love with me that she didn't want to lose me. I have since told each of my gf's and the toughest one was when I told my wife. We were dating and she didn't know what to think. Of course she asked if I was gay. And I'm not. She was slightly accepting because she had always wondered what it would be like to be a guy, so she understood. She's liked seeing more in more things recently. It's made us closer and given us things to talk about. She's seen how happy I am and becomes more accepting.
I was 46, 7 years ago when I told my now fiancee. She asked all the normal questions, was I gay, did I want gender reassignment surgery, etc.... I am very comfortable as a male, I just like dressing as a woman. At this point, I don't think there is a thing that I could not tell her.
17 years old about 6 years ago when I got my first outfit and wig.
I was 26 in 1979. My new girlfriend told me she was bisexual within a couple of weeks of going out with her. Since she was so open with me, I told her that I like wearing panties etc. I also told my sister shortly after that. This doesn't mean that I was out of the closet, but every serious gf I had since was told early in the relationship. My bi gf was the only one that seemed to like the idea.
My wife is the only person who knows that I underdress. I was around 73 when I carelessly left a single nylon stocking in the bathroom. So I came out and told her that I liked wearing women's underwear. Shortly thereafter I was able to wear bras, panties (and tights in winter), with her knowledge if not enthusiastic approval. I had been in the closet for years.
I have natural breasts due to BP medication and a strong genetic tendency and now fill a B cup in most makes of bras.
I was either 19 or 20, I went to the Samaritans charity to speak to someone there about it, to try and get it straight in my mind (of course, I am still confused but telling someone lifted a great weight from my chest)
I sat down opposite this kind and calm woman, and began skirting around the problem, just saying how it made me feel before eventually dropping the 'I like to wear women's clothing' bomb.
She looked at me, still smiling calmly and said, "that wasn't too hard was it?"
And I replied, "no, I guess the world didn't end after all"
May last year I finally told my wife of 30years
Was 48 at the time we are both head over HEELS in love with each other!
Its soooooo wonderful
Kiwi
This February, at age forty and much happier now that i am able to buy things and not start thinking like a drug smuggler where i am going to hide them.
I told my ex gf 2 years ago at 24 when we first started dating. Since then I've told quite a few people. I't has helped me open up so much the more I tell.
I told my now wife almost 2 years ago after we had been dating about 2 months so that was when I was 33 she is still the only person that knows :-)
29. I told my GF shortly after she discovered a wealth of photos on my phone. It was only about a week ago...
Now that could be a topic all in itself.Quote:
Originally Posted by sissystephanie
I only just told my then-girlfriend now-fiance about 6 months ago (29).
I was 25 when I told my wife.
I was 17. Told my older sister. I was 31 when I told my mother (well, SHOWED her when she came over to the apartment by my opening the door and TA-DAAAA! But I knew she would be cool with it). I've told a colleague or two back in the day. Our "ladies' night out" was always planned but never happened. Ex-wife knew after we married and she wasn't too keen on it. Told current wife about it when we were dating. She didn't mind (why she's good with it is a long story). Since she works for MAC cosmetics she helps with the make-up. I keep getting the urge to tell more people (i.e., neighbors), especially because I've noticed more female clothing has gotten into my daily rotation.
wow great thread ,
I am envious of thos who have been successful in this journey,as for me I am still in the closet with a sign on the door be careful of what you ask for, as my family would totally disown me ,still underdressing and now starting to dress has been a stress reliever ,very strange as I am so relaxed and even more so I am very personable as compared to my drab gruff countenance good luck to all of you who finally get up the courage to come out phylis anne
I was 27 when I came out to a couple of friends. I have a few more to go!
I was 26 when I told my wife. I still haven't told anyone else at age 31. I think I am going to tell one of my friends soon though.
I was 12 and told a good friend of mine.There aren't that many I have told... but if I could go back in time there are a few of the ones I did tell I wouldn't tell again. My wife knows and I have gotten very used to my closet and even like it there most of the time :brolleyes:
Miss Jessie, that is a wonderful story and a great response.Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_jessie
I do appreciate everyone else who is posting on the thread. I'll have to do some more reading but it really does look like there are more positive responses than negative ones. Wives seem to be the ones who seem to be reluctant and threatened by this news, and it makes perfect sense particularly in the context of a long marriage prior to the disclosure.
I was 23 and I told my first wife and she loved it. We just had other problems which led to our separating. LOL
I told a close female friend when I was about 21 or so. I didn't tell anyone again for about 5 years after that, a woman I was in an "It's Complicated" sort of relationship with and I'm still only out to a few people now, pretty much my wife, her sister and her best friend, I've lost touch with the first few people I told. I've still not told anyone I'm directly related to or any men.
67, good at hiding it. 'Nuf said.
18-19yo then before every dating
I was 48, and had escaped a bad marriage of 18 years and had taken up with a charming woman who had also recently escaped a bad long-term relationship. But my CDing was never all-consuming, so I simply told her that I'd hit some thrift stores, and umm, had bought some women's things. She demanded a fashion show:-) But she also had shared custody of her two teenage boys, so I pretty much just kept it to nightgowns.
We broke up a few years later for other reasons, and that's when I started taking it a little more seriously, and by the summer of 2009, after lurking here for several months and learning that I wasn't some kind of total freak(THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!), I decided to just let 'er rip and made several public appearances at functions; my church, a monthly house-party, all with people who'd known me for a few years. The response was overwhelmingly supportive.
I then met the woman I eventually married and told her on our first date, but she lived 300 miles away, so I had to move out of town before the news of my coming out had spread everywhere...But all in all, it was nothing short of positive. I haven't quite gotten around to telling my brother and sister yet, but one lives in Florida and the other in Michigan, so I've only seen them in person three times in the last five years and it's just not a conversation I want to have over the phone.
Jaye
I told a really good friend of mine when I was 37 yrs old....back in 2012. I even showed up at her place 150+ miles away one night dressed as Suzanne. She was fine with it, told me that I looked great, had the mannerisms down and did a good job of presenting, even took me to a couple thrift shops a few weekends later. I love that girl, always will.
Suzanne