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If I were 20, confident in my ability to pass, and it is still 2015, I can see where I would be very interested in spending quality time in both of my genders, equally if possible. Romantically I've never been attracted to men, no matter how I'm presenting.
Life is enjoyed looking forward and realizing the rearview only brought you here in the moment. It is the adjustment made going forward you must truly analyze if it is change you are looking for.
To be honest at 20 I was in no place to dress in public, let alone live full time in a woman as I found University to be the most judgemental place I have spent any part of my life. I might try and spend a couple of weeks dressed as a woman in a few years when I hopefully will have moved out but it will never be something I would want to do or could do full time.
These threads always bother me, because the invoke the "it's a Wonderful Life" paradox.
I suppose that there is hardly a human being anywhere who, if offered a chance at at a Re-do on life, wouldn't think about accepting it. However, that necessarily means that all of the things that you have done would be negated and totally nullified. If you are a parent, then it would mean that your children would not exist. If you have done something which saved lives or helped a community, who would have done that if you had been elsewhere?
If there actually are an infinite number of universes, and our life choices fork off everytime we make a decision, then I would love a chance to see what occurred in the parallel universe where I made the choice to be a full-time, or at least most-time transgender. But, not at the cost of obliterating the life I've had, and the legacy I've created, good, bad, or indifferent.
In any case, to echo the comments of other posters on this thread, when I was 20 years old things were not very pleasant in this country, or the rest of the world, for Gays, Lesbians, and Transgenders.
Again, dreamland. But, it's taken a long time to understand CDing as much as I do. In my twenties I was far more impulsive and far less deductive as far as peoples' reactions. It would fail.
Probably not. Too much work to get ready every day,
Joni
Lots of good, thought-provoking answers here. But Judith's reply echoes my sentiments the best. We're the same age, evidently, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Judith96a
Great post. I always fantasize about what if I'd done this or gone here earlier in my life, how different things would be. Always fun to think about, until the realization that my kids would have never existed. Way too sobering to continue daydreaming about my selfish fantasies! But that doesn't mean I'll stop pondering my parallel universe!Quote:
Originally Posted by StarrOfDelite
Only being a few months down this CDing road and struggling somewhat to understand where it's going, I'm tempted to say it would be good to have been 20 and know what I know now and experiment and discover the real me instead of the 40yrs of confusion and denial which I have experienced on and off.
Who knows what being open back then would have been like.
Having said that we are the sum of our life's experiences and I would'nt change my wife and kids for the world, I just hope they don't want to change me when they find out!
in my 20s and 30s i was too busy with school,career,family etc but i did it all and than some in my 40s and early 50s and i am still basking in the highlights of my somewhat late and glorious career as an artistic crossdresser.at age 68 now i dress at home every 2 or 3 month and try to recreate the magic but its no good.i am content with that though!the bucket list is empty and so be it.i am harmonious...are you?(old indian greeting)
I love these kinds of questions.
I would say things would have been different for me, especially if this web site had been around and I was aware there were so many others like me, and just different people out there. I probably would have stayed in the closet though. I mean, I would have still had to work. But, I'm sure I would have met someone online and had a relationship with them (CD or guy, or woman who accepts CD)
I think anytime you are getting a desire or need fulfilled it make life better. As long as the desire/need are not the only aspect of your life making you happy, its fine to have the life you need that makes you most happy.
Still looking for it, but content as can be.
Laura
No, because work....
20 and fully passable...I'd be full time and headed for surgery to complete my transition.
I don't know that I would have done things any differently, personally. Perhaps I would have been more out/vocal and accepting of myself... But I'm one to believe that things happen the way they happen because that's how they're meant to happen. xox
20 again but knowing what I know now. It would be the fast track to transition. That was not an acceptable destination in the 1970's.
If the world were as accepting as today back in the early 70's and I knew about the numbers of girls like myself in my area, I have no doubt I would be seriously considering transitioning. I have tried to act as an alpha male for all these years, that's not me. I wish I could roll back the clock.
lexi_83 I agree with you. Work would have still prevented me from dressing as often as I want. I would have not purged as many times as I did however I guess that comes with dressing and not knowing what to make of it.
If I were 20 here in 2015 with all the support groups and internet info, I would have transitioned in some way.
More than likely, I would have gone on hormones, and gotten a nice feminine body, but not gone all the way with surgery. I like my penis, and the idea of being penetrated makes me cringe. Maybe I'd feel differently after a couple of years on hormones, but if I could just conjure up my perfect body, I'd keep my penis but have all the real feminine curves I could.
But back in the early-mid 1990s, the info was scarce, and it wasn't until my late-mid 20s I realized transitioning was a real option, and I decided it wasn't worth it to me. I had a career by then, and a girlfriend (now wife with 2 great kids) and so I'll accept that my body isn't my ideal one and enjoy the crossdressing instead.
At 20 I was too confused sexually/gender wise to make that choice, anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaA
im mid 20's, single, no kids but still find myself hidden away in my bedroom. I also have that fear that if i get too involved into it that later in life it could become a problem.
In a funny way as easy as it would be to tell everyone and do it publicly I have to say I would miss the sneaky part of hiding in my room, or doing shopping as secretly as possible, adds a fun side to it
I enjoy marriage. I wish my SO were more accepting. If I were 20 again, I would have definitely been more open to my SO, and perhaps we would have never been married.
I just wish I would have been more honest and open from the beginning.
This is really hard to answer because if I was twenty again, I now know my future and I could not imagine how I would have succeeded in life without my wife, kids and now grandchildren. I can't imagine a world without them. I started passing at age 30 and could pretty much go anywhere when I got to dress. I did the whole drag scene in NYC and had a male admirer and best friend whose arm I could hang on in any venue, drag or straight. I will admit that there were times when I questioned if I should cross over and transition but when my head cleared all I could see was my family and how they completed me. That desire to have a family would not have been erased with SRS and I would have been a very unhappy trans if I had succumbed to those fleeting desires. So although I love and sometimes crave dressing I could not do it full time. I wouldn't mind having a twenty something body though.
I think a lot would depend on when/where I was living.
To be twenty again now, living in 2015, and able to pass completely as an attractive female? I'd jump at the chance in a heartbeat! I'd likely spend my time 50/50 as either gender, would date either gender, and would seek a mate or lovers who could accept me completely in both modes and love me for being me! I wouldn't try to transition the rest of the way to being fully female. I think I would be very happy with that life! But I wouldn't feel I had to remain single to live it. I'd still seek a mate.
To be twenty again back when that was my age, living in the 1970's, and have a choice to be able to pass completely, and having a choice to CD or Transition and live a different life? I would probably have said no. Mostly because attitudes nearly 40 years ago were far less accepting of LGBT issues or transgender people, and because I wouldn't have dared to do it while my parents - especially my father- were still alive and could have found out! If I did find myself in that situation back then, I probably would have had a lovely in-the-closet life as a cross dresser, but any outings would be done far from my home and work. I seriously doubt I would have tried living as a woman ful time or transitioning to a female gender completely. I suspect my sex life wouldn't have been all that great, because I would be afraid of the reactions of any men or women that I might date when they discovered I wasn't a genetic girl.
I would probably dress as a woman pretty much full time, but would not want to try dating men, I like woman way too much. I would be much more easy with the dressing because times have changed over the years. To be single with no kids or wife, yes I would go full time female but I do have adult kids and grandkids so it's part time for Sandra Michelle!!!!
If I could be 20 again,I would love to slide into a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders uniform
I wouldn't transition as I love the balance my inner-self has and love walking around knowing that part of me is watching everything and everybody. I love being cd/tv with a touch of tg but it is only a touch that would not want to be full time female. I am attracted to girls like us and gg's but not males. Female form only so I have summed it up that I must be a lesbian. <Proud of It>
I don't understand what you mean? That more people would know or be judgmental? I mostly worry about how it might impact my career if someone who was close-minded found out. The bigger the company the more people like to gossip.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah-RT
If I were 20 again and fully passable, I would certainly start the process towards transition....all the way except the genitals. In the late 70s / early 80s, I had nobody to talk to regarding how I felt. There was no internet to learn more, I had never heard of a sexual therapist. I did not know if I was "nornmal". I wish I had the tools younger people have today to learn more and make clear decisions. I would have loved to be a woman...
I am now 34 and pretty sure I could pass full time if I really wanted to. If I had the money and didn't have to work for a while, I would possibly still consider moving to a different state and living as a female full time till I was fully comfortable with the new me. Then I would find a new job and experience life from a woman's point of view.
I have already thought about the outfits I would wear and the type of home I would live in, the furniture and garden etc.
I have never had any attraction to a man so I can't see that ever changing, although I would on occasions allow one to take me out to dinner and pay for everything just to see what it was like but I would be very very fussy about who I went out with.
I may be persuaded to go out with a fellow CD who also passed 100% so we could be the hottest looking lesbian couple around and watch all the men falling all over themselves trying to take us both home
I can't say whether anything would or wouldn't happen between us as I have never been in that situation but I you never can tell if we both felt strongly enough about each other. After all, they do say "Love knows no bounds"
I probably would have transitioned and life would have been so different and a lot of unanswered questions would have been answered and a lot more would have been created. Instead I ran away to the Navy, got married and have two great kids and a loving wife of 30+ years now. Alas I'll never get those questions answered, but the most important thing, we have a great life together. We are who we are what ever we look like.
I feel this way too.... We have the BEST (and of course, the worst) of both worlds.Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella Ross
If I was twenty right now and know what I do, my future would look nothing like my past.
I definitely would transition, wait for the right man to come along and experience life together.
When I was younger passing was not an issue. I was twenty in 1970. It was not a TG friendly world then.
Happiness does not always come by being dealt a winning hand but playing the hand you're dealt to win.
Jeri
I actually turn 20 this year. Given the choice and (lack of) constraints I would certainly wish to present en femme as much as possible, but I'd be sure to tell upfront if and only if asked. It's all too easy to dismiss others' reactions but then we all as people have our boundaries. Hurr.
As a student, maybe I'd consider being much more open about this part of me / habit / 'other side', but then again I'd have a million other things on my mind besides being a dude trying to look like a lady. If I do at all, mostly makeup at best. After all, while I was at pre-university, cross-dressing was very heavily frowned upon by the discipline committee. I was one of their first targets of the year I enrolled - my entire orientation group wanted to wear the uniform of the opposite sex.