Trying to understand TS

Leigh's post reminded me of a meeting of the Beaumont Society that I attended many years ago. One of the attendees had a very restricted view of cross dressing that he was comfortable with and neither understood nor sympathised with those who wanted to live their lives fully as a woman or wanted to consider sexual reassignment surgery. I could not understand why he felt that only his view of being a cross dresser was authentic and the rest of us were just somehow wrong.

Unlike that particular group, this site is a very broad Church and welcomes all varieties of cross dressers and transexuals. Each of our realities is authentic and I cannot question the authenticity of any other person on this site. Cross dressing is not an ideology. Let's not question other's reality but try to understand it even though that is difficult.

Complete understanding of any portion of our spectrum is nearly impossible. There are a million variables and every one of us handles them differently.

All we can do is enjoy the opportunities given and use them to grow in the ways we desire. It is definitely not a one-size-fits-all situation!

To paraphrase a quote I once heard:

To those of us who are TS, no explanation is necessary. To those who are not, no explanation is possible.

Being TS is one thing, how you deal with being TS is something else. There is no "right" thing to do. There is only what's right for you.

That being said, every time I read about someone who's gone through surgery and completely changed their life, I can't help feeling an immense sense of pride. You ladies who've had the surgery or are on that path, you're my Heroes. I'm proud of you, and I love you all.

Cynthia

So today I went out shopping as Leigh and I was thinking about this thread I started there I was presenting as a women and I enjoyed it so much even got mamed once and all of my encounters with SAs were very positive even when I'm sure I may have been read.
What I discovered is for any of you TS ladies to go thru what you do in order to make yourself happy and be the women 24/7 I do admire it. I know from my hour or so out while I loved it I'm just not sure I could make it and everyday thing but I really understand a bit better it's more than just going out presenting its going out and just being and I somewhat felt that today
Leigh

For me I started here on the cross dressing forum over two years ago. I had never cross dressed fully but admitted to my wife that I sometimes wanted to be a woman. That was as far as I could be honest at the moment. My wife helped me dress the first time and it was only a month or so before I went out. It was so evident very quickly that it wasn't about clothes but about who I was. I believe as a TS person there is no way to put your authentic self back in the bottle once out. I have several cross dressing friends and am so grateful to Allie and Rachael for helping me be confident out I the world as Suzanne. We have no quarrels about where we are on the spectrum. We support each other! I think we should be able to empathize with each other while recognizing we face some different challenges. I hope that my being out carves some space out in the world to allow you more public presentation of your femininity.
Suzanne

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PaulaQ

I'm going to break it down for you to be really simple. Really, really simple.

There are only a couple of questions, that you need to answer to decide whether or not you need some form of transition. They are really simple questions:
1. Am I a man, or am I a woman?
2. Can I continue to live my life as I live it now, or must I change.

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You say you will make it simple, and then you suggest that "knowing" if you're a man or a woman is the primary key. For most of us, traditionally (society is becoming more accepting these days of full transition), years are spent wondering exactly "what" we are. We spend so much time worrying and wondering whether we're normal, abnormal, unique in our desires, female trapped in a male body, gay in denial.. and any one of a thousand other things. If it were as simple as "am I a man or a woman", then I'm sure we wouldn't see SO many stories of people starting their transition journey in their 50's or 60's.. if you could just ask one question and answer everything, most of those girls would have transitioned at 20 instead.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PaulaQ

All of this "trapped in the wrong body", "always knew since I was 15 minutes old," etc. is just not the key issue.

The only issues that matter, at the end of the day are:
- who are you?
- what are you going to do about it?

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Once again, hardly simple. For most of us, particularly those still in the closet, the answer to both can often be "I don't know" or "I'm not sure".. You say there's no such thing as a spectrum, it seems you consider everything to be black and white and easy to define.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PaulaQ

BTW, identifying as partly male, and partly female is a possibility. However, knowing people like that, in a lot of ways, this is harder. People have trouble understanding someone like me, and I'm simple - I'm a girl. That's it - end of story. There are all sorts of social conventions for a person like me - a woman. Same thing for men.

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Yes it is harder, which makes your next paragraph contradictory. You're a girl, we get it. Now get this, somedays, so are we.. other days.. we're not. So the answers to your question above can vary from day to day and even from hour to hour. As I say.. hardly "really really simple".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PaulaQ

There is no social model or template for someone who's neither male nor female, is both, or fluidly shifts between them. There is little medical support for such people either. It only seems easier, because there is this temptation to think "I can keep my stuff / my wife / my life!" This is the wrong thing to focus on, even if it ends up being true. The key thing is to be honest, and to be true to yourself, whatever that means.

Know who you really are, and be who you are.

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I think what you meant to say was that there is currently no template in western society for androgynous presentation. And I'm not sure what medical help we would be in need of that wasn't already provided through standard healthcare channels? And for you to suggest to a forum full of Crossdressers that they choose the "easy" path by trying to have the best of both worlds is absolutely ridiculous.

Interestingly, I find the best answer to this question (and many others) comes from George Sheehan (even though he was discussing runners):

"We are each an experiment of one."

Gender is a continuum for both sexes. We all have our place on that continuum some are clear masculine some are clearly feminine and then there are those with a mixture. My mixture has me wanting to express a strong feminine side that manifests itself in dressing and such. On the same token I like to also express a strong masculine side at other times. I like my parts as they are. We are all individuals so it is difficult to understand someone having a need you can't imagine but the misunderstanding doesn't change their need. IMHO
Also please educate yourself about the nitty gritty if that is important to you.