Should you tell your wife/girlfriend about your CDing, before devoting yourself?

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Originally Posted by AnnaBMarie

Most of the replies here stress honesty as a fundamental element of a relationship. What I didn't understand 30 years ago when I met my SO, and still do not understand, is when you cross that threshold of bringing up crossdressing. I'm assuming that most of us wouldn't bring it up on the first date. Or maybe even the tenth. But if you wait until there is a flickering of permanency in the relationship, isn't it already too late?

I've pondered this question for many years and still do not have a clear picture of how I could have done it differently. My SO reminds me every so often that it would have been better for me to have told her in the beginning, but has never offered exactly when she would have been receptive to the news. I would love to be enlightened as to when this fleeting magical moment occurs and how to recognize it.

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The $64K question, if there ever was one!

I believe that we should not be deceitful nor attempt to hide our true selves from anyone we are trying to start a relationship with. Truth in advertising.

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Originally Posted by AnnaBMarie

My SO reminds me every so often that it would have been better for me to have told her in the beginning, but has never offered exactly when she would have been receptive to the news. I would love to be enlightened as to when this fleeting magical moment occurs and how to recognize it.

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It's when you know that you're both in love, but before there is a commitment.

I think that its totally ok to have fetishes and although many GGs like ReineD accurately described will feel less than satisfied if you dont experience vanilla sex with them as a 10, there are many girls who have fetishes themselves and are interested in the same sorts of experiences as you. They are definately harder to find but chances are your fetishes will remain a part of you and so finding a relationship inwhich fetishistic sex is fulfilling and a 10 for both of you is preferable. I agree with JamieTGs post that there is more than just fetlife as a resource and seeking out local fetish/bdsm groups in your community is at least possibly a good starting point. I was basically a virgin until i was 25 and since then I've been in three relationships and have barely been single so its certainly not too late for you and you never know what or who is around the corner.

Lexi0922, you can correct me if im wrong but it seems like from your post you're basically stating that you're tg/bi-gendered or gender fluid which all I can say is cool. This also makes the point that there are just as many female at birth tg/cders as there are male at birth tg/cders only the females blend in and can dress and basically be themselves under your nose without you realizing it. Theres the potential for some of these girls to be into men cding much like lexi is again making it possible for mutually satisfying relationships to happen with these unique desires being sought and enjoyed by both partners.

The consensus of opinion is for disclosure. That being said, I would recommend looking for a relationship outside of work. Society is not all that accepting of men who like to wear women's clothing. I would not blurt it out on the first date, since you and your date may find yourself incompatible from the start. Once the genie is out of the bottle it is difficult to put her back. Also be aware a woman is free to change her mind. I'm sure you've read many threads on this site where women have done a 180 degree turn around on cross dressing, especially if the women is overwhelmed by something she has never experienced before.

I told my SO a few times before we got together. When I then told her she said she knew I told her but it did not register at that time. My ex wife did tell everybody that I was a crossdressser. MY Sis does not even talk to me anymore and we were close. My SO now is the best girl I've ever had. And several of my co-workers were also told. So watch who you marry.

Without reservation, yes. Be open and honest. She will know exactly what she is getting...no feeling of betrayal later. It is true that many women won't accept this. All the more reason to be honest. If they don't accept it now they likely won't later. If you're open and she accepts you, then you have nothing to worry about :)