As an androgynous person, it seemed right when that fem feeling came around. I was born that way and i am what i am.
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As an androgynous person, it seemed right when that fem feeling came around. I was born that way and i am what i am.
I tried to make a posting on this but I'm not sure it got through, so I'll try again.
Being a CD is something we are born with. Some people compare it to being born with a hair color but hair color does not affect personality and can be easily changed.
Being born CD seems to be related to the way the brain is made up. Perhaps a close analogy would be being born left handed or right handed, which is also brain related. Society also seemed at one time to discriminate here too. WhenI was in grade school at least of my teachers told my mother to change me from being left handed to being right handed. It would, for one thing, allegedly have improved my poor penmenship. My mother refused. It seems that now psychologists are dead set against changing which hand one uses. We are born this way, and it is somehow linked to how our brain is formed and works.
I think being a CD is a similar kind of phenomenon, related to the makeup of the brain. Trying to change from being a CD would also seem to invite serious psychological problems, just as changing one's hand orientation would.
I am left handed by nature, and I believe I am also a CD by nature too.
I think it was a Pavlovian response. It was exciting to touch, feel, smell and wear women's underwear when I was a young teen knowing that I wanted to explore what was really in there. As part of the excitement came the reward of orgasm and therefore I learned that if I rang the bell, I would get a treat. The bell ringing became quite pleasant as it lead up to the reward. Now the reward does not come as rapidly and the process of ringing the bell - or dressing up - has in some ways become its own reward.
Sometime during puberty I figured out that, instead of putting up with all of the social channels and dealing with the temperamental objects of desire (girls), I could secretly emulate the fantasy woman I wanted to be with. And she was exactly the way I wanted her to be. It became a wonderfully singular activity that was more exciting and scandalous than anything else. I did have the regular socially acceptable relationships but femulation is the ultimate. Now after >50 years, I know that me and she are a wonderful whole person. I would feel so empty if the CD'ing had to go away.
When I was younger I thought it was because I was damaged. Then as I grew up I was insistent that it was because when I was younger girls were nicer to me than boys and I wanted to be like them. Then when I hit about 18/19 I thought I was just a crossdresser. But now Im in my twenties I have realised I am trans and not just someone who likes to dress up.
While my best friends were male and I engaged in male play, I also had good friendships with girls and enjoyed their company as well. During adolescence my attraction to girls increased and I formed stronger friendships with them while at the same time I was experimenting with other guys. I admired and wanted to be with girls but wasn't having much luck, and was also interested in boys, and this led me to think that I might have had better luck with relationships if I'd been a girl. This seed germinated in my mind for several decades until the time I realized that I could play a female character in a MMORPG, and from that point on I've been expressing aspects of myself in this manner. As I've grown away from MMORPGs, I've become more interested in LGB & T issues and in sexual orientation and gender expression in general (I confess that trans porn may also have had something to do with blurring gender lines for me). As a result of these factors, I've moved away from a purely binary understanding of gender (my own included) and acknowledge that, while I am predominantly male-identified, I still have a female element to my psyche that occasionally needs to express itself, and part of the way in which that happens is that I often feel more comfortable in female clothing.
Flying saucers. Cosmic rays. Struck in the gender lobe by a meteorite.
When dressed and setting on the toilet the pee has a shorter distance to travel to hit the water !
I was born this way. The need for me to dress is way to express my feminine side. The feminine side enjoys the look and feel of women's clothes and lingerie. Why drives some little girls to want to wear pretty dresses?
Not being allowed to crossdress would be like telling an artist he can't draw or a singer he can't sing.
Getting dressed just feels right.
I did read something about the "hormone wash theory" which I'm inclined to support.
Hardest part has been trying to accept this trait. Being here amongst you has helped since no one else knows about my crossing dressing besides my wife and you all.
My theory is that I was born this way. I wanted to express myself by wearing a dress and pantyhose pre kindergarten. That was way before I was aware of men's and women's fashion limitations. My mom let me wear hose and a dress around the house when I was 4. It's funny because I don't remember asking her. One evening there was a pair of black hose on my bed. How did she know? Not a clue. But I just started wearing them like it was any normal thing. That lasted for a few months then they were suddenly gone. I asked my mom for another pair and she scolded me and said 'pantyhose are for girls'. I was devastated.
I look at it as a way to express myself just like an artist or athlete uses their gift to express themselves.
I should have been born a girl.....and hopefully someday will become one 100%....
For now, I will be dressing 24/7 :love:
I like what's cute and beautiful wether it's clothes, makes up or anything !
Boys clothes are dull and unatractive to me.
So i crossdress
I believe it is mostly biological and a bit of psychological thrown in.
My theory is that our brains are hardwired to interpret crossdressing as actual contact with a woman. When we crossdress our brain releasing a host of feel-good neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc.) which produce the sensations of well-being, comfort, pleasure, sexual gratification, bonding, and self-identity. You can't stop your brain from releasing neurotransmitters, and if you do the same thing over and over, it eventually causes your brain to fatigue and release less dopamine, leading us to escalate our crossdressing, and take greater risks.
How does our brains get hardwired this way. Through a process called synaptogenesis. During the first three years of our lives our brains are producing neural connections at a rate of thousands per second. By the time we are three years old, we have about 5X the amount of neural connections... Then we undergo neural pruning. Through the learning process some neural connections are reinforced while others are lost. This process of synaptogenesis reoccurs again in puberty.
If we make the right connections, and reinforce them, then our brains are hardwired for crossdressing. When we crossdress we receive a rush of feel-good sensations, while the rest of the world feels nothing.
All memory formation is mediated by short- (electrical & biochemical) and long-term (gene expression, physiological change) synaptic modifications, including some degree of synaptogenesis. The synaptic pruning hypothesis that you mention may be involved in some critical developmental periods (e.g. visual development, language learning) as well as important brain modifications during adolescence/puberty, but while it may in part explain how our adult psychological makeup is eventually solidified (to whatever extent it actually is), it doesn't explain why cross-dressing (or non-standard sexual orientation or gender identity) is found in some individuals but not others. This is where we get into the nature vs nurture debate - are our brains wired differently from the start due to genetics or events in utero, or do we just happen by chance to be exposed to atypical stimulus combinations (or at critical moments) that cause us to form different associations from most people?
While it may sound like a cop-out, I believe it's a combination of both in amounts that vary from person to person: our genetic templates and early development may set up predispositions in us to develop in certain ways but those changes may or may not actually take place depending on what happens in our environment. Hope that helps! :)
I like the 'vanishing twin (sister?)' theory myself, kinda gross bio stuff and usually hard to prove if you were born later than the mid 80's but plausible 😉
I like to?
My old high school yearbook had a picture of me surrounded by several girls while playing my guitar. Must have been struck by a lot of estrogen. That's my story and I'm sticking by it. LOL
More to it than just crossdressing for me. I enjoy being a girl. The whole package is part of it all to me. Housework, laundry, and just being treated like the girl that is me. Sure I pluck my brows, shave my legs and working on the body hair removal as well. Looking and being a girl is so nice. Silk stocking, heels and pretty dresses work for me, and my love prefers me in a dress anyway. Sometimes it is scarey, but hey if your gonna put on a pair of heels with a prissy dress then you may as well deal with what comes with it. Family knows, but they still love me and have actually stated I am so much happier these days also. If your gonna put on the heels then be a lady.
I have many theory's most likely none are accurate. But here is my fav.
I am artistic person , with a codepenancy tword addiction. cross dressing allows me to artistically feed my addictive nature. With out turning to drugs alcohol or gambling.
Theory 2 , I just like to feel pretty damn it
I now think that it was my way of dealing with long term molestation. Being used as a girl I just started to want to be the girl and if I was a girl the conflict that I was having as a boy wouldnt hurt soooo much. So I stole some clothing from a washing line and tried it on no more conflict.(till I hit puberty)
i was born this way and as i age the compulsion becomes stronger and more intense
Sarah, I have no idea why, I just wanted to dress in lovely skirts/tops and stockings attached to the Garters of my pretty pastel pantygirdle. and be pretty like a Girl. I started when I was 5--I remember watching the Susan Show, then going into my mothers lingerie drawer, taking out and trying on a Very Lacy half slip
because it's the clothing of my gender id
Always infatuated with how women look and presented themselves. Then I would see sci fi shows where sometimes a man would be disguised as a woman and I thought it so mesmerizing. The clothing and the power women have is truly amazing.
X's and Y's got crossed-up somehow, but that's the breaks.
Just what it is.
Never had so much fun dressing.
Nice photo of you, by the way.
My family, school and everyone else in society made me cross dress. I'm actually a woman, and always have been. I just didn't look like one. So they made me wear this stuff and act certain ways. Once I transitioned, I was able to finally stop crossdressing and pretending to be a man, and wear clothing that makes a lot more sense to me - generally a dress and flats, and just be myself.
As to WHY that all happened? I think I'm intersexed - my brain is largely female, at least the bits of it that differ between genders, but the rest of me, as far as anyone has tested, was male.
I have said elsewhere my mum was sure I was going to be a girl, so I think the wires got crossed at birth.
Hazelxxx
Just feels free and fun and natural and pretty and sensual, expresses the girl in my soul :) Not a theory, more a fact x
I've had many theories over the years but I finally come to the conclusion that somethings just "are". It's just in me and I am what I am.
I am what I am. Some girls like pretty things, some do not. Some boys like pretty things too.
I figure I was a woman in a prior life, it just feels too good to be wearing a dress and heels sometimes :p
As others have said I'm much more comfortable in enfemme. I am happier, content, virtually impossible to anger, do not engage in conflict, loving, communicative, etc. I have always wanted to be female, had milk from breasts ages 7 to 10, was supposed to have been a girl, dressed in anything I could as far back as memory. I am beyond cd and would like to trans but cannot. There are thousands of reasons we do it as you can see above... it answers the need.
born complete accident, way late in parents life, historically from family trees all ancestors had boy/girl children close together in age. I was born out of my scheduled time in the world (no complaints) so nothing bad ever happens to me. All my closest friends are my siblings age (way older than me). I really believe i would have been born a girl had it happened at the normal time for my parents.
I am a do it yourselfer. I work on my house, work on my car. Build and fix my own computers. Cook and decorate. I have a sense of style and aesthetics. I am curious and voyeuristic. I notice I tend to dress like women I am attracted to. (Kinda sounds like a creepy horror movie when it's put that way)
so I guess it's part do it yourself woman, part fashionista and part emulation. Probably more do it yourself
In my case, the reason is psychological. I was rejected by my father and was expected to be a man as soon as I could dress myself. While my father never showed me any love or tenderness, he showered my mother and my sisters with gentleness and affection. When I am in male attire, I have no fantasies about being with a man. When in-fem, I find myself fantasizing about the man who will love me. As I grow older, my need to express my feminine needs has dwindled, but it still comes to fore three or four times a year. Then I dress in heels, hose, garter belt, bra, slip, dress. and wig and let my imagination go where it will. With my build, I always look just like a man in a dress, so I have seldom ventured into public as my feminine self. For a few years when I lived in Houston I was able to dress and go out because of the largely LGBT section there and acceptance was easy to find, but I still never found the man to fulfill my fantasies.
Just lucky I guess
Cos' it makes you feel so good
As a young boy, I was a scrawny little guy and my sister was my best friend as a youngster. We often played together with her friends,all girls, and that became the norm for me. We would play dress up together as both parents worked until mom came home. Then, my mother opened a ladies clothing store in a new shopping center and I helped her at the store after school. I couldn't wait to go to the store and help unpack new dresses and other ladies merchandise. I would hang the dresses, skirts, blouses and then run the steamer over them to remove the wrinkles....I was in grade school and then in Jr. High school at the time.....I was doomed to be a girly boy crossdresser which I still embrace to this day. I'm so lucky!
To be honest, I have thought about the "Why" for far too long, I never found a theory that supported the question so I gave up on it a while ago. It is what it is at this point and that will have to be good enough.
For me it may be that as a young child I never got to finish my exploration of dressing up in girls clothing, as my grandfather got mad at me when my grandmother let me play with her curlers and some clothes one day. My grandfather ridiculed me, exchanged some words with my grandmother, and stormed out of the room. I believe this may be root cause of my desire to crossdress even as if today. The years of suppression only seems to have fanned the flames. Today, I just love to crossdress when I can. It's a wonderful feeling to be dressed. This feeling, however is something I cannot explain. It just is, what it is, and I don't want to let it go.
Di
I feel it's genetic.
I've always felt this way and can't remember a time when I didn't. It started long before puberty and had absolutely nothing to do with sex and having no siblings to "borrow" from my curiosity turned to mom's stuff but not because of any influence by her or anyone else.
Not to be overly technical, but that's a hypothesis, and it's the only one that begins to explain how powerful our differences can be as well as the diversity of variations on "normal" gender identity and sexuality. The brain is incredibly complex, and it's logical to believe that regions within it that determine such things as gender identity and sexuality can be "mis-wired" in a variety of ways that produce instincts and behaviors that fall outside the feminine-female and masculine-male models. Basically, that differentiation (or non-differentiation for genetic females) depends on properly timed and dosed infusions of hormones from the mother, and the hypothesis is that infusions that are too early, too late, too little, or too much can cause anomalous development of some of the millions of neural connections in the brain.Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill2mn
We crossdress despite the overwhelming messages of disapproval and contempt from many of our fellow humans. Why? It's tempting to imagine that we all start out pretty much the same and that some childhood event imprints this differentness on our developing sense of self. In come cases the individual (or the parents or siblings) may remember such an event, and it's entirely possible that it did have an impact. But the prevalence of this behavior among a single-digit percentage of genetic males suggests a more-or-less predictable anomaly rate that defies culture or family background as causation.
Why so many variations? Lots of different ways to be mis-wired.
In other words, we were indeed likely born this way...
for me, i truly think a percentage of me is female. Sexually i feel like a female, more submissive and also there are certain things I like that k=most men don't. I tried to hide it for years, but as you get older you become comfortable and so...today these are the things I want and like. It is still a sexual thing for me...
Child of the universe, living in a Hyper-masculine collective/society/organism/network, Balance needs to happen so certain souls get deputized to fill that masculine/feminine energy imbalance in the collective. Just a thought/theory
Theory on why I cross dress? I wish I knew. I can't attribute it to anything. I just did it from an early age.
Cuz I look so damn sexy in my panties and lingerie
Although I did not start dressing until I was about 15, there was an experience when I was 8 that may have subconsciously affected my later life. When I was travelling to Singapore on a ship (my dad was in the forces) they had a kids fancy dress party. I went as a clown, complete with face paint. I cannot recall the experience much, but it may have aroused my curiosity.
I think that when we are born, some of us get an 'extra helping' of stuff in our brains that leans towards femininity. I have noticed things in my life that I gravitate towards, such as women's fashions, my admiration for women as a whole, being fascinated with makeup, and other things. I think I get along so well with my daughter because our brains are similarly wired. She and I talk about a lot of things that really only women enjoy, in general. Another example is my admiration for strong women in real life. And I enjoy movies that have women that are in strong female roles. I found I enjoyed clothing shopping with my daughter, when she would shop for dresses etc. Most men can't be bothered with that, but I love women's clothing stores (even although I would never buy anything if it was just me going there) I am 100% heterosexual, but I love feminine things.
I think that if reincarnation exists, I'd love to come back as a woman. But I'd likely be a lesbian. :heehee:
Why do I crossdress? I like to look like a woman, to wear heels, and the way my 'boobs' bounce when I walk.
I keep thinking about this. I have been attracted to female attire ever since I can remember. However, it's not just a strong attraction to the beauty and comfort of female clothing or the calmness and peace of mind I get from wearing this, but also to my huge aversion to male attire which I have detested also ever since I can remember. I'll be posting a thread on this soon, as especially due to this thread I've been giving this topic a lot of thought.