My main purpose is to show others it's not such a big deal. Simple really. :battingeyelashes::)
My main purpose is to show others it's not such a big deal. Simple really. :battingeyelashes::)
Okay Doc, Why, since we do not have a gender fluid link open yet, many of us go out as we are expressing ourselves and showing our femininity. And since we can it is not atypical thrill although pleasant to be called a mam by a waiter. Also since I have done it so often, it just seems me out there and yes they can call me a woman. But I have a male side to maintain also. In one town I am always female and in the other always male. LOL so we do it because we enjoy being out and about.
My wife and I went to the Washington State Fair today. If I were to go to the fair en femme, I'd stand out like a sore thumb. Not because I'm six foot and 195-200 pounds, but, because I'd look like I'm going to a costume party: dress and slip, hosiery, heels, makeup, and. I am assuming all the female I saw were wearing bras and panties, although I'm not too sure about either. I'm stuck in the June Cleaver 1950's. That's my comfort zone. My comfort zone does not include laughs, finger pointing and ridicule. That defeats the purpose of my appearing as someone who I know I am not. It's avoidance. A coping mechanism. A method of dealing with combat related PTSD that is cheaper than a paid therapist. I get mine for free anyway.
I am content to do my domestic chores en femme. Or sit in the backyard or prune roses. Or read a good book. I have ventured forth in the early evening darkness and enjoy the cool breeze caressing my thighs as the wind wisps my dress and slip. At Halloween I have dolled myself up and went into stores. I have interests. But, I see no point in dolling myself up to go to a hobby store or model building club I may enjoy. I have no desire to sit with family, friends and acquaintances because it does NOTHING for me. Yes, I am legally and morally free to do it. But? I am content where I am. Maybe there are many others who really do need to go forth and appear as a woman to valid who they are..to themselves. I think I am in balance. Remember the old sew saw math problems with a fulcrum. Balance the fulcrum in the correct location and the light weight and the heavy weight will balance out. That's me.
I live for the applause, applause applause
Elizabeth, I can relate to your feelings of 'terrifying, and exhilarating" . I sometimes think of taking a back up wig with me, just in case some jackass grabs my wig off my head!
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Josephine, I ever went to my church on Saturday sabbath services, i would be taken out in the hall, and told to leave, until i repented, and allowed to come back in guy clothes.. Such differences in churches!
Thank u all for your replies. I found them informative and enlightening. I get that a few of u DO get a thrill simply doing daily things dressed.:thumbsup:
And, I totally related to Jenn's reason: validation. We r ALL looking for that in one way or another aren't we?:hugs:
But Lorileah, u nailed it. Rite to the point and in words even I can understand.:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorileah
The gist of which many others said is; T's wish to present themselves as the women they feel they r. Wherever and whenever possible!
While I do the opposite. I try to present as women I'm definitely not.:daydreaming:
Redtea, You are not alone. i am a virgin, at 62, will likely die one. I did date from about 27, to 53 occasionally, but never had sex. It hurts that i am among the probably less than one percent of humanity that never had it, and am among the 2 or 3 percent that never got to marry, or knew closeness with a mate. My dressing is in many ways a substitute for a wife. And i go out occasionally as my wife!?
It's not so much that it's a thrill. It just feels like liberation to me. A weight that's been taken off my shoulders. Most of the people who see me dressed are not giving me feedback at all, and there's NO negative comments, so where's the hassle?
Once you've addressed your own internal fears and found a way to sweep them aside, your life can begin.
Myself I feel somewhat like a female trapped in a male body (still working that one out) but when I am dressed at home I feel really good other than I then feel like a female trapped in my home instead! It is like I can't win!
I've taken some trips out in girl mode to clothing and shoe stores but have felt self-conscious and dreaded it when a SA asks how I am or asks if I need any help! I prefer to go where there is less chance of an interaction until I am more confident re my look and voice.
Recently I have taken on-board "age appropriate" and "blending in" rather than dressing in what I really like (ie pretty dresses) and I've felt a lot more comfortable out and about. I still don't want to interact with anyone yet so Vanilla Land it is. Vanilla Land allows me to baby step my confidence without going completely deep end.
Also, I don't have a friend that I can go out with, if I did I think I would definitely be keen on someplace more interesting.
"Also, I don't have a friend that I can go out with, if I did I think I would definitely be keen on someplace more interesting."
Having someone else there alongside you can definitely help a bunch! :thumbsup:
And interacting with a SA or whatever is actually pretty cool. They'll be professional about it, and plus there's the added element to it all, of focusing on a common goal shared by both parties.
It does take some confidence, but really, anyone can get there! :)
Why would you CD and stay home all the time?
The challenges of doing this is not my reason for going out. I go out because I want to go out wearing women's things because I like to do that. I actually complete the picture to my best ability to avoid the attention I would get if I did it as an obvious male. In my neck of the woods, bald men nearly 60 years of age are very likely to be seen as a freak if they are out wearing women's boyfriend jeans or a pair of leggings and a tunic. If I go through the effort to blend/pass I am more likely to be viewed in the gender spectrum which is where I reside.
I believe that if my society accepted the "freak" version mentioned above I would likely skip the rest of the package, although playing with makeup is fun too.
For me it is about being able to express my gender feeling at that time. I also enjoy my presenting as a male time too. Do I also qualify for the new forum??
Imagine building an experimental (home built) airplane and never flying it. You sell it and build another. There are quite a few people who do just this as the enjoyment for them is in the building, not the flying. Some of these builders create absolutely beautiful finished products.
And then there are those who build, either in a moderate finish or some in the highest of standards, who really want to experience "what it will do". They are not attempting to fly faster or higher than anyone ever. They just want to have the experience going the usual places. Like just about every airplane that exists.
There are some who build and never or rarely fly their creations out of fear or lack of what we pilots call currency, meaning recent experience. Recent experience is directly related to realistic confidence.
For some of us CDers the satisfaction comes from the transformation. It is enough and bless them for that.
Some are not current or lack the comfort level to go OUT enfemme. I wish them all happiness.
And some want to see what our creations will do by doing what women do, more or less.
It is all good.
I am getting ready right now to go OUT enfemme right in the midst of a group of the General Public (GPs) to volunteer at the information desk. I will do this one day per week for over a month at ArtPrize. The daily attendance averages 30,000 and I will be right in the middle of it.
SUCH FUN!
Billie