Hi Alice:hugs:, You do know that Crossdressing is like the Mafia, You just can't quit ! ...:daydreaming:...
Hi Alice:hugs:, You do know that Crossdressing is like the Mafia, You just can't quit ! ...:daydreaming:...
Blue, i respect you,, and where you are coming form, but i believe a person , with will power, and help from other sources, can quit anything. But, the desire will not totally go away. Som on here have abstained for as much as 40 yers, replacing it with other things, retraining the mind, but, i do believe anyone can change or adapt some, and in prisons, war zones, nursing homes. many simply could not dress. For a right, compassionate woman who finally loves me, and respects me, i would curtail a lot o f my behaviors. Not saying some desire would also be there, but i am damn sick of being a loner, out of relationship, isolated, with only myself. i am in great need of friendships and relationships. Been in toxic isllation for so many years just playing with my SELF. Not healthy. I am emotinally a very sick puppy, need to stop isolating, by myself. It cut me off form relation with others. For once in my miserable life, i would like to be in relationship, instead of beingan anti social isolated loner. I would be willing to compromise with a loving lady, before i die, and am no more . But, not with just any woman! She would have to accept that i have the pull to dress. Sorry i ranted. I agree, it does not totally go away, but it must be a CHOICE, AS KATE SIMMONS STATES!
Alice with reference to your comment at #48. I was raised in a church with a very narrow interpretation of scripture. I began to question whether what I heard from the pulpit on Sunday was God's word or the word according to the man in the pulpit. I really came to question whether expressing myself on occasion by wearing women's clothing was something that I needed to "overcome."
I love twisting things around, so I'm going to ask, if she thinks you can rise above crossdressing and move on, why can't she rise above her objections and move on?
Thanks for all the responses. For now, I am not considerin g her or anyone for anything serious. We all have to make our own decisions in life. Every woman has the right to her beliefs and opinions, too, what ever they are. Live and live.
Told my wife about me dressing before we got married. She didn't have a problem with then but now after 7 yrs she doesn't want me to dress and makes me hide all my things. Told her I been dressing for 65 yrs and it's not going to stop so live with it.
You won't be able to stop. So don't try for her. You well only hurt the both of you in the end.
Hi Alice:hugs:, Maybe getting away from that TOXIC atmosphere you live in may be the best move of your life.
The Mafia thing is kind of tongue in cheek thing...:daydreaming:...
I know that CDing adds to my isolation, and that is not a good thing. It can take over ones life, and if one has mental or emotional anti social disorders, isolation is toxic. isolation is toxic. I like to dress up at times, but the isolation is not healthy. Balance is need to have a relationship. The lady is not pounding me to quit, as some do. I know i do not have too many years left, andi t would be nice to have a Gg friend to date now and then. Like Kate says it must be a choice, no longer a compulsionj we always have to say yes to. Good day to you all.
Alice, some personal history that may be relevant. Some 8 years ago my 2nd wife left me for a 'real man'. Shocked me into stopping dressing.
Shortly afterward I met an age appropriate lady. I too didn't want to live alone. I told her I had dressed but I had stopped. Our relationship flourished and we married. After 3 and a bit years the urge to dress came flooding back. Wanting to be honest, I told her and so began 6 months of stresses, strains and depression. That was over 4 years ago. We reached an accommodation some years ago (effectively a DADT) which works extremely well. I dress 4 or so days a week, she knows where my clothes are, that I launder them, and that I have a storage facility.
Life throws many twists and turns. There needs to be a solid and loving relationship whatever life throws at you to survive and flourish. Dressing is just one element. See if there is the potential for a meaningful relationship.
I haven't been in a relationship for 12 years now. Living with someone else can be great, kind of. Living with the wrong person will make your life hell. Even a very compatible person will have different views on many things.
I get lonely sometimes but I like the peace I have compared to being in an adversarial relationship. I don't see my living arrangement as toxic at all. I have social outlets to satisfy most of my social needs. There are many bachelors out there that are doing fine.
I agree with Ressie!
Learn how to be happy with just yourself. If you feel like you need a companion you are pedestalizing having a relationship and can fall into a trap of becoming a bit too desperate for one, which means you may get into a relationship with someone with lots of red flags.
Dolovewell, Amen. i have been in a lot of recovery work since 1985, and used to feel ife was not woth living without a special someone. But, over the decades, i have come to realize we are programmed by songs,, movies, media, etc, that we are not to be alone. My parent taught me the opposite, that we should be loners, and not be close to anyone but them!! So, i have unusual issues. Balance is best! Have some friends, if possible, maybe even a mate, but be able to "walk alone". I am content "walkin alone" at age 62, now, know I have afew health issues , would like a GG near my age to go out with now and then, to the symphony, walking, cycling, skating, zoo, museums, etc, whether in drab, or dressed. But, I am very cautious, and picky now, and it does no longer matter if i ever meet one or not. More and more, i am at peace living alone, and with 2 cats. No one to argue with, hassle with. i had guy roommates, and most of the time it did not go very well. I have had to do a lifetime of overcoming my sick family traits./ Wonder how i lived this long! In the very hard times ahead, it may be better to be alone, too. Singles issues are seldom discussed on here, too. In spite of the songs, mocies, television shows, romanc novels, and the yearning we all have for intimacy, it is OK to stay alone, but still serve and help our fellow travellers, and it it happens it ahappens, but contentment is best.
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Also, everything in this cruel old world, is a gamble. Nothing is certain but uncertainty, that s for sure one day or moment at a time. i just enjoy sitting laying down in drab, or dressed listening to some classical music, with my cats purring away. Who needs more?
I have a definition of respect that I use every day. Respect is the acknowledgement that something has value BEYOND one own understanding. So I'm respecting you if I say "I don't know what you're telling me, but I can see your opinion is sincere and thoughtful, so I'll try to understand it and find a way to make peace with it"
The woman you are corresponding with does not respect you in the slightest. Deal breaker. Run away.
Susanne, She is my friend, and does not have to agree with me. I cannot believe the intolerance and HARDNESS OF HEART ON HERE SOMETIMES. i am not going to be a miserable loner, anymore. To hell with dressing, if it keeps me an isolated loner, and damages life. There are a hell of a lot more important issues than dressing up!! Veryu soon, just having clean water and food, will outweigh dressing. Having relationships with others, even though they sisagree on some things, is healthier for me, than my long time isolating. I got to be honest. I have told her i am just friends, and the desire to crossdress does not completely go away. i don't care if every one disagrees with me on this!!!
I'm really happy for you, Alice- and maybe it is time to use your boy name? Sexual secrets are poison, so don't keep one from her- tell her exactly how you feel, as that is the testimony of truthfulness and firms up the relationship. If you feel ecstatic that she is interested in you, say so. Say that you have had your inner female persona as your liferaft, but now you are feeling something very new... or whatever it is that is true- I can tell you really think things through- so trust your instincts here and be super truthful. My guess is that she will be a real friend even if not a lover, as long as you share all the good you have to offer.
Thank you Phili! I have told her i have a feminine side, but she was from a strong father, like many baby boomers were, and it makes no sense to her. I am just not getting into a serious relationship with anyone, as i have some severe problems myself, and would be so high maintenance, i would be hell for any GG, unless she were extremely longsuffering. I sense this lady has some serious issues herself, and that would not be good, and healthy in a serious relationship, with both with big issues. I do not want to hurt anyone with all my baggage, and when both have big baggage, the plane is overloaded, and can't fly.
500 miles away.
You are contemplating moving to her.
Wants you to stop dressing (Ie - Being who you are)
Sorry chuck, but this doesn't sound like either of you are really getting what you want or need out of this.
My advice, cut it off while it's small, there will be less pain.
Yeah, I am in no hurry. And not planning on getting serious. My first girlfriend was abused, and troubled, and ended her life at 21years. i was 27 at the time. Dealing with my own issues. Could not handle more than friendship.
Alice, When I went thru my divorce at age 55--married 33 years, I thought that rape and pillage only happened in the movies. I was wrong. It is called a divorce settlement in the real world.
When I said to my lawyer--" there is no f$%&ing justice", he responded "yes there is, its called a prenuptial agreement and I write a damned good one.
Don't ever forget that Alice. You must always protect yourself. You wouldn't be the first man over 60 that has been pillaged by a woman.
Jodi
Thanks for all the comments. i know this person . No one else on here has met or conversed with her, so i know here fairly well, and she is a decent hearted woman, but has a few issues. I aprecciate all the opinions, but may not agree with all of them. I have never been qualified or prepared to be in a serious relationship, and just friends is best, from my counseling, and all the craziness in my family and life.
Alice,
When it comes to love, you must never settle. And that's what it seems like in this case. Someone commented above about sacrifice and love and a world filled with pain. That's BS. Never settle because you are desperate to be with someone and never settle for anyone who wants to change you. I know a good partner will help you become a better person but making you stop crossdressing won't make you happy or improve your life. Please look for someone who will love you for who you are. This may also require you to work on yourself and you will need to learn to love yourself.
Tell her you will give up crossdressing when she does. Meaning: no pants, no tennis shoes, no slacks, etc. If she agrees to wear a dress, stockings or pantyhose, heels, and makeup all the time, you will agree to dress only in mens clothing. If she does not agree to this and insists on wearing clothing tradirionally worn by men, then she should not criticize you for crossdressing too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alice Torn
I would rather be single forever than give up my dressing for a woman.
yeah she seems more interested in converting you. sounds alot like christian talk. not that christianity is a bad thing, but if she thinks that it is something you can change as easy as changing your clothes then leave her in the dust, and don't look back. a friend that cannot accept you for who you are is not a very good friend.
Alice hasn't posted since 11/5/16, perhaps she quit.
This relationship is already doomed to fail. Walk away from this controlling individual.