I dress purely to look as much like a GG as possible, there is no sexual element to it. In my youth I did get turned on by stockings , suspenders, lingerie (and swimsuits.....) but that was a long time ago.
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I dress purely to look as much like a GG as possible, there is no sexual element to it. In my youth I did get turned on by stockings , suspenders, lingerie (and swimsuits.....) but that was a long time ago.
This thread has been one of the most enlightening discussions I have had the pleasure to explore. I have always felt that those who have all the answers to politics, religion, or sex troubling...I have most of the questions but very few of the answers. Like many here, I am in my late sixties, retired from a seemingly "macho" profession, served in combat like many here...and am a guy. But I feel crossdressing to be calming. The fact that my SO supports my needs, is in itself a major life relief. I started out with lingerie strictly as a sexual release. Like many, after I had "time" to explore ...explore I did. I only graduated to total dress and make up a year ago. It has become less sexual and more enjoyable. My question is.... I crave to be submissive when dressed...why I'm still exploring. CDing for me has led to an interest my interest in being dominated...but I think deep down that was there before I dressed. I'd like to hear from others on this topic.
Hello Rosie, you might be surprised to know that my forum name 'transfeminate' is actually an old and now obsolete English word for a crossdresser
I think that we all dress for reasons particular to us. I just find it relaxing as well as sexually arousing the latter mainly because I get so few opportunities to dress and then it tends to be lingerie. With me I think it's an escape from being me to be someone different when I can dress fully. (I used to before I was married). Like a lot here I started with sister's panties etc. She used to threaten to dress me up in her clothes and rather than being afraid I was excited at the idea. One day alone in my teens I took that first step, realized how comfortable and light ladies' panties are and found myself relaxed. I became a crossdresser then
I no longer like the term 'transvestite' because I think it has in many peoples' mind the idea of an 'over the top drag queen' . So when I tried to talk things over with my wife about how I like to wear panties and wanted to get some tights she asked me was I a transvestite I said no for it's that idea she had in mind. I think to have said 'yes' would have seriously misled her and made things worse. A self justifying rationalization? Probably more truth in that than I would care to admit.
I find this forum helpful and accepting. It shows our humanity and what binds us together.
Not sure how to answer this basically I love feeling like the woman I can be and I enjoy the way I look. I use what it takes to look all that woman. I get turned on by the looks. How others look as well when people find out that this hot woman is a hot guy!!!
LOL. nice one. I thought that my interest in crossdressing was purely a sexual thing for most of my life, and so I hid it from everyone, including myself. But now I know that I love the clothes for what they look like, not just for a sexual reason, including being attraction to many women was because of their clothing, not just their looks, in fact, in spite of their physical appearances sometimes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ressie
I've always just been a cross-dresser. I get nothing sexual out of it, and I never have. It's just fun for me.
Two things crossed my mind as I read through the different posts in this thread...
1. Do we not like labels because of our fear of what they say about us? Example: "I'm not fat (a rather ugly term), I'm just a little overweight (much more palatable)."
2. Is dressing a turn-on but because we are presenting as the opposite sex? Through the years, I've read terms like, "He took me home and treated me like a woman," or "My SO likes it when I take the female role in our relations," etc.
Just thinking... I know... dangerous!
Lacy PJs
I think of crossdressing and transvestites as being the same thing, just the term changing over the years? Now I am hearing the term "gender fluid" and wonder if that means the same thing? Anyways, none of that really matters to me. As for my dressing, it is/ has always been a lustful turn on and do think that 50% of it is related to sex addiction, the other half I am still trying to figure out. It could be related to a desire to express a feminine side, or just a desire to be a new and improved me. I just know that when I am out in public, in addition to the lust, I feel another person inside of me coming out.
When I was young dressing was intensely sexual for me. Now at 61 dressing is something deeper - part of my identity. I prefer the term transgender.
That sounds like an old pickup line I used to use, except it's spelled wrong. I would tell women that I was "trysexual" They'd always ask, "what is trysexual?" I'd answer, "If it's with you, and it's sexual, I'll try it."Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
I just enjoy the feel of the clothes. does not get me into a sexual mood unless a woman GG is involed.
I don't get turned on in a sexual meaning, but I get some kind of pleasure and satisfaction when dressed. I just like wearing female clothes.
I am gender fluid and when my mind is feminine. I naturally started dressing. Th dressing isn't sexual, however I am a sexual creature and if the chance arises when en fmme. Yes it goes that way.
There are many terms and some are defined differently by different sources. Some are
Fetishistic transvestite - often used when there is sexual release from wearing women's clothes
autogynephilia - some here us AGP as abbreviation that others wonder what that is. It was coined by one person and was then twisted by that person into a different meaning. The root concept, IMHO, is that the man loves the idea of himself as a woman or being seen by others as a woman.
Femophilia - a newer term with concept that this is a man who loves femininity and enjoys expressing whatever aspect they consider feminine.
Transexual - concept of person who feels they are a woman but XY chromosomes
Transgender - much looser term that may cover many of the above
I like the last term better - so if you think nightgowns are very feminine, then wearing nightgowns is enough for you. If you think being pregnant is the ultimate I femininity, you may desire to look that way. And it is not the actual look, but how you see yourself. If large breasts or large butt is your favorite aspect, then that is what you try to recreate. It may not lead to sexual release, but just happiness.
I don't want to label anyone, but just go over range of concepts I have heard.
Hugs, Ellen
Closet,and others,
You may need to read up on more recent developments of AGP, it covers far more now than when Blanchard first introduced his theory . I felt it didn't relate to me until I was sent updated text concerning TGs with AGP and not TSs with AGP. It's not all sexually associated now in some cases but I admit it still drives me as it has from the age of 8-9 years, I haven't adopted it because I wanted a label, I believe my CDing is fully explained by it. The way my CDing started is a classic explanation, I know what is inside my head and the way I feel about CDing and what it does for me . I don't feel ashamed to admit it is what makes me tick, the fact that I accept it enables me to deal with it, despite not being TS there is an overwhelming feeling to be seen and accepted as a woman and wanting to transition enough to achieve it.
Sometimes I can't understand a forum with so many members saying they don't understand it and yet they appear to be afraid of seeing an explanation and accepting it as a plausible answer . We see so many threads getting bogged down in the argument between the transvestite and crossdressing label . We wear clothes of the opposite sex, the question is why and when we discover the answer we need to know how to deal with it. We owe that to ourselves and our partners , I for one really wanted to know why when they finally put me in a box I'd prefer to be wearing a lovely dress .
I feel the word transvestite does have alot of negative connotations and seems to be used as a demeaning word. but that being said it was a very sexual for me especially when i was dressing through puberty, but now i wouldn't say it's totally gone but now it's more about the thrill about what i see in the mirror and just enjoying temporarily having a break from being a man so to speak. i guess crossdresser fits more and it has way less of a negative connontations as transvestite which makes me think of some odd 50's information film..
I don't wish to quibble. And, if I'm off base would some expert please set me straight?:battingeyelashes:"Love" is it. Ellen? NOT the AGP I'm so personally familiar with. :brolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by ClosetED
My understanding is AGP is when a dressers is ATTRACTED to himself in his mirror or the idea of appearing to be a woman. "Attracted" as in sex! "Love" is a romantic concept which may or may not involve sex. :o
AGP seems a description of behavior and associated thought process. In my own case, for example, l crossed the line from underdressing to dressing completely over a period of several years, during which my wife traveled 5 days a week for work. I missed her like crazy, and although I seldom took this to sexual Climax, I may have compensated for loneliness by creating a substitute.
Perhaps the attraction of saying I was born this way may be in some way my excuse for using sexual fantasy as a coping mechanism. I know there is nothing inherently wrong with consuming porn, dressing for sexual fulfillment, coping with loneliness or dealing with stress. But in my prudish, self judging mind, I may have found the title of transgender preferable to sex addict. Sick, huh?
Teresa, for a simple reason those theories have been trashed by a multitude of doctors and other experts. AGP was developed as a theory to match some behaviors not the other way around, naturally it will match some people. Merely dismissing such a complicated issues as transgender as a form of sexual deviation is way too simplistic for starters. I have read quite a few books on AGP as well as many others and to me its simply not plausible.Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa
Kim/Becky,
I have asked several times on the forum if the way other members CDing started the way mine did and so far none have, I've always said that that I didn't want to be unique and I'm sure I'm not, some appear to be reluctant to tell their full story. I related my story away from the forum with people that have extended the and refined the work Blanchard did , I have personally contacted these people and exchanged useful information and their own personal thoughts on my situation, I wouldn't dismiss them as talking trash. This is what I find frustrating about the forum, I believe I know what makes me tick, yet people will not accept it if they don't fully understand what is someone's mind , all I know is I can understand my own reasons to wanting to go further and possibly transition to some degree. I'm not brainwashed by it, I have seen the objections and understood them, I can see why some people were upset by aspects of it, those areas have been worked on but to some it's too late so they choose to condemn it and decry it for themselves and others.
No Kim I'm not a sex addict, but I do still have high T levels which have driven me from those early days , nothing I can do about that. Becky I know there is more to being TG than that .
Sherry has come nearer to the mark , AGP does not always associate with sexual needs but there is far more to it than just gazing in the mirror, it explains so many of my actions and why I have the gut feeling or need 24/7.
The question assumes there are different definitions for crossdresser and transvestite. I'm in the camp that thinks they mean the same thing. Latin-based vs. English-based, that's all. But I'll play along - as the OP defines the words I'm a TV.
But here's why I think some WANT different meanings. Generally, those who dress to express their feminine identity and deny any sexual aspect see their drive as purer, more legitimate, than those whose dressing sexually arouses them. So calling themselves crossdressers distances themselves from those sex-crazed transvestites. Worse, some prefer TG or trans, putting even more distance between themselves and for-sex dressers. Fine, if it makes you feel better....
Depending on which (of many) definitions of AGP I read, AGP does or doesn't apply to me. I used to think so, but not now, because most sources begin the description with "a mental disorder....". Yikes! I view my fetish-driven crossdressing as a characteristic, an attribute, a trait. It is a disorder when it disrupts normal life activities to the extent that treatment is indicated. I don't know if AGP applies to me, but if it does, I don't suffer from AGP, I enjoy it to the max. So there!
"I know in my journey it started out to be much more of a sexual gratification thing (transvestite), but as time passed it's become more of my female part expressing itself (cross-dresser). I can still get turned on pretty quickly if I'm dressed and the mood goes in that direction. It's kind of like the sexual arousal is just below the surface and at the slightest hint in that direction and things can happen quickly"
Ditto for me too! When I started (all those years ago!) I was just starting to going through puberty so naturally my hormones were absolutely all over the place. Now I should point out here that I've always had a strong female influence in my life so perhaps that had an influence. When I got into a dress for the first time, it felt wonderful.
Of course, with the onset of teenage hormones at the time, It was also quite sexually arousing so I couldn't wait to do it again.
From that point on, every time i got into a skirt or dress (usually with no underwear on! I have to admit!) it was primarily a sexually arousing experience for me; so much so that I ripped a few skirts in the process!
These days though, I don't find that as sexually arousing. I now tend to think that "real women don't do this kind of thing!" so its gradually lessened over time.:heehee:
I should also point out that I have NEVER felt ashamed of my crossdressing (even though there were people who tried to make me feel ashamed at the time!)
Bottom line is: If it FEELS good, It IS GOOD!
Nicole,
CDing and AGP aren't mental disorders but they can lead a person to mental torment, GD has to be dealt with as it is a mental problem.
I admit I'm a TG with AGP, I know there is also GD problem , I also admit that twenty years ago I nearly ended my life through feeling unloved and rejected. Most of that was down to the need to satisfy aspects of AGP. My male side was being rejected and so was my female side, some TGs with AGP want to be accepted as a woman by having relationships with men, I need to be accepted as a woman by having relationships with women, to be totally part of their life but as a woman rather than a man , I've never had a problem with relationships with women as a man , that was question asked by my gender counsellor .
I've never felt I have a mental illness, the mental problems come from a lack of understanding and acceptance .
Teresa, when I first read about AGP I thought it sounded like the best explanation of the way I felt. I would love to read the latest stuff that you have read, so if you have a link feel free to send it to me since its been several years since I read about it. I will say it was kind of frightening to read it and have to admit to myself that much of it applied to me. At the same time, it was nice to see others who shared a lot of the same inner desires and motivations that I had, and that someone had actually taken a lot of time to study it and write about it. I am grateful for that, more than those folks who did the work will know. I can see why others may resist it. I don't bring it up much here because it seems to be a lightning rod issue for a lot of people. I am not critical of any reasons that anyone lists for why they CD. Life is hard enough without having to get into arguments about all this, and I know there are many valid, genuine reasons why all the CD on this site do what they do. I have no problem with any of it, as long as they are not hurting anyone or themselves.Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa
Maybe you could steer us to some articles to confirm that autogynephilia isn't a mental disorder or mental illness. There must be a lot of fake news out there because search results point to articles saying that it is a mental illness :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa
There are two things I know for sure about AGP. 1) Everybody has strong opinions about it. 2) Nobody knows anything about it. A slight exaggeration but only slight. The best source of information explaining the theory of autogynephila is Dr. Anne Lawrence's website (http://www.annelawrence.com) and her book "Men Trapped In Men's Bodies." A good personal account of AGP would be "Alice in Genderland" by Richard (Alice) Novic, M.D. AGP was the first model that somewhat described what I had experienced my entire life. There are, in my opinion, of course, things the AGP model gets right, things it gets wrong and things it doesn't attempt to explain at all. For instance, the AGP model makes no attempt to explain why AGP exist. One thing it gets right is the description of the phenomenon. One thing it gets wrong is the whole idea of paraphilias which I find moralistic and unscientific. AGP as a motive for transition is not something I care about since I'm not likely to go that route. Transition has only ever been an erotic fantasy for me which fits with the AGP model.
+1 @LilSissyStevie Same for me!
It's been a confusing ride for me over the years, and I thought I had myself figured out until some recent upheavals. What I had concluded was that the idea of being a woman is a sexual trigger for me. My fantasies all revolve around being a woman. When I make love to my wife, I imagine what it must feel like for her. I worship women out of admiration and envy. The thought of transitioning is incredibly arousing. However, I don't feel like I'm a woman in a man's body. I feel perfectly comfortable in male mode. I don't want anybody to know about my feminine fantasies. Therefore, I think transitioning would be a terrible and self-destructive choice for me. Fantasizing about it, though, is really, really fun.
From what I understand of it, that lines me up with the definition of AGP. While some people object to it, I find it comforting to know that my situation has been observed and documented in other people. I realize that this label can be mis-used to prevent people from actualizing their true gender identity, and that's the main reason many people object to it. However, this shoe fits me (although perhaps not perfectly), so I'm going to wear it; protesting that this can't possibly be a real thing is just as destructive as mis-using it for nefarious purposes.
By the way, I've seen a sex therapist in the last 6 months, and she never used the word Autogynephile, which is Kryptonite these days.
Stevie,
To me AGP exists because of the way my Cding started, I have contacted Anne Lawrence and others, I have sent them my CDing history and they conclude I'm a classic example of to give it's full title ," a Non-homosexual TG with AGP. If paraphilias worry you then you have the same concerns with GD. Much of crossdressing is unscientific, we all know what happens with our brain chemistry but we are all individual and what triggers the chemistry in one person could be totally different in another. Anne Lawrence herself was a TG with AGP her overwhelming need to be seen as a woman still lead her to transition. Another example is Dierdre McCloskey , both have written autobiographies . I know now why I feel the way I do , like them I don't feel in the wrong body but the overwhelming need to be seen and accepted as a woman has finally explained the gut feeling I've had since my CDing started.
Ressie,
You could also read some comments that CDing is an abomination and the unfortunate ones be put away in a mental institution, do you feel mentally disturbed enough to be locked away because of your CDing, I certainly don't with my Cding with or without AGP. Some comments made about TSs can be just as scathing.
Whether members accept AGP or not is maybe not as important as dealing with the effects of it or GD has on you ! I personally feel I need to move into a totally accepting situation so I can dress full time to see how it affects me, being in a DADT situation isn't going to provide that answer, I may then need to start hormones to see if it achieves a balance in me, how my wife will deal with all that and possibly see more obvious female traits appearing I can't say. Whatever is driving me isn't going to go away, I have to accept it's got to happen .
In my post, I hoped to move away from labels to the concepts behind them, but gave labels as a guide.
Tossing around abbreviations and terms makes the reader see the post with the emotional baggage they carry about the label. If they hate the term AGP as it was used by one person, then seeing it written by someone who meant a different meaning, the original intent does not come thru.
I also see myself having a lot of truth in loving the idea of having myself seen as feminine (aka as a woman) but no sexual interest in men and I consider myself a man. So that hopefully explains my point of view without using AGP, TG, TS, LGBT, CD, TV, etc.
Hugs, Ellen
Ellen,
I'm not sure I understand your reply , with a question like the one posed in the opening thread to give a truthful answer the labels are important , we dress for different reasons and to some there is a sexual element, without labels how do you explain the differences. If you don't differentiate we will all be tarred with the same brush and then members will be upset about that .
Teresa, I'm not a label-hater, but "tarred with the same brush" confirms my first post - that some people want different labels to distance themselves from pleasure dressers. Deriving sexual excitement from crossdressing is not an all-or-nothing deal. For some, it's a major aspect but for others it's not. And when it is, it's private, and nobody needs to know the details. As Doc and I (and maybe others) have posted, when we go out in public, there's nothing sexual about it. If you wear the clothes, you crossdress, according to most sources. No motive required.
Nicole,
I have to admit the sexual part isn't evident when I go out, OK I flirt with girls. Privately I do find the the sexual component an annoying distraction at times, especially when other members say they virtually lost the need years ago. I did ask in the TS section about what happens to their needs when the T level does drop ? The answer I received away from the forum was inconclusive, about 50% found their dressing needs diminished and smaller number virtually stopped but even in those figures most went on to transition. Like me and some others the sexual component is only part of the story but then that's how my CDing started, that is when my GD and AGP started the combination of events has made me what I am. It's taken far too long to come to that conclusion, now I have to deal with it and move on .
Teresa,
You might be interested in this post on AGP (https://thirdwaytrans.com/2015/03/10/on-agp/). His take is that AGP involves two systems: the lust system and the attachment system. This corresponds with Nicole's idea of pleasure dressers and identity dressers. It can be conceptualized as two different spectrums both of which are involved in AGP. In my case, the lust component is strong and the attachment component is weak. I count myself lucky in that regard even though AGP has caused me some sexual compatibility problems. The mix can change over time. The typical trajectory of AGP seems to be where the lust system becomes weaker and the attachment system grows stronger. It's very common on this forum to read posts where it "started out" sexual and over time became about "just being me." With me, the attachment component has atypically grown weaker and the lust component ebbs and flows with no predictable pattern but has also generally grown weaker with age.
Also, my problem with the idea of paraphilias isn't emotional, it's philosophical. I would rather be called a pervert than a paraphiliac for the simple reason that if they call me a pervert I know they are coming from a moralistic point of view. And I know that my morals can beat up their morals. But paraphilias are based on the pseudo-Darwinian idea that any sexual arousal or activity that doesn't lead to or result in procreative activity is somehow "unnatural." It wasn't that long ago that masturbation, oral sex, and homosexuality were considered to be paraphilias but they became "normal" after some political agitation. The fact that these sexual activities can become magically OK because of changing attitudes makes the whole idea of paraphilias absurd. The only criteria for judging a sexual activity as good or bad should be whether or not there is a unwilling victim - not how unusual or popular it is.
" But paraphilias are based on the pseudo-Darwinian idea that any sexual arousal or activity that doesn't lead to or result in procreative activity is somehow "unnatural." "
I have read a lot about evolution and natural selection and have never seen this connection before. I believe the strong association of sexual activity and procreation is a religious device. I agree with you that sexual activity for pleasure or for procreation is a purely natural human activity and we should not be ashamed or defensive about it. For me the sexual arousal component was very strong when I was younger. It is still strong now but is overlaid with a wonderful feeling of comfort and the pleasure of dressing and looking like a female. This is the "attachment" system you talk about.
Stevie,
It's the first time I've seen AGP associated in this way, it makes sense. I would say the shift is now in the attachment side but while the T level remains high the lust side isn't far behind.
I'm not going to concern myself whether some consider me a pervert or suffering from a paraphilia, questioning morals in these circumstances doesn't really help and it doesn't help me find answers worrying about those labels. My sexual activity remains in my own home, since the menopause my wife has no interest in me in an intimate way,( that's aside from my CDing ) I will admit I don't like my life going full circle but I'm still a functioning male what choices do I have ? Again I raise the question of what happens when my T level does finally fade, does my need to dress fade with it or will the need to transition become stronger ?
Darwin was more concerned with animal behaviour than human, his comments about sexual activity were more connected with species evolution .
I feel an AGP thread should be started , as members are now prepared to talk about it calmly and sensibly , it's good to see the comments on the connections that appear when viewed from the AGP perspective .
Definite Transvestite here, just love that word!
Consuelo, Teresa,
This is why I say pseudo-Darwinism. I think that when the scientific minded world lost faith in religion they weren't ready to throw out all the rules and regulations and beliefs that went along with it. So being possessed by demons became mental illness, sexual sins became paraphilias and other sins became crimes. That's all slowly changing but many superstitions remain. I don't spend a lot of time worrying about this but I do acknowledge it. I'm not against religion, BTW, I just like to be clear on what is a belief and what is a provable fact.
First, a bit of Mental Illness 101. Bear with me here, it’s only a short list. While there are over 200 classified forms of mental illness, these are the major categories:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ressie
1. Anxiety Disorders (phobias, panic disorders OCD, PTSD, etc)
2. Mood Disorders (depression, bipolar disorder, etc)
3. Schizophrenia/Psychotic Disorders (delusions, hallucinations, etc)
4. Dementias (Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, head traumas, etc)
5. Eating Disorders (Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia, binge or over-eating)
6. Impulse control and addiction disorders (sexual compulsions, internet addiction, compulsive shopping, hoarding, pyromania, kleptomania, etc)
7. Personality disorders (paranoia, antisocial personality disorder, narcissism, avoidant personality disorder, etc)
You can see that many of these conditions are not that unusual.
Also, everything is on a scale. For example, most people have experienced anxiety and depression at times, but not to the point of needing medical help for it. Or, a person can shoplift once or twice without it being considered a mental illness (kleptomania, an inability to stop shoplifting). Or, people can enjoy porn without being consumed by it. Likewise, many people enjoy alcohol without becoming alcoholic.
The same holds true of sexually gratifying behaviors. If they produce pleasure without having a negative impact on a person’s functioning (personal relationships, work and productivity, social interactions), then they are not an issue and are not considered a mental illness.
In other words, the behavior is considered a mental illness only when it impedes normal functioning. So, to everyone who enjoys the sexual aspect of the CDing, don’t worry about it, unless you’ve reached the point of social isolation because of it, or your primary relationship has been negatively impacted by it. Don’t get bogged down by a clinical name.
Thanks Reine. I was hoping that you would jump in because you've demonstrated knowledge on this topic in the past. The 1-7 list is a great synopsis of psychological problems. And like you implied, it seems almost everyone has a slight mental or emotional problem.
It's interesting to see the wide disparity regarding the words "Transvestite" and "Crossdresser." Not to mention people's willingness to embrace or reject them all together.
In my case I am 57 and have been a paramedic in the 70's and a bachelors prepared RN for 24 years. When I was hitting puberty, my parents talk was substituted by the infamous, Dr. David Rubens, Seminel work (if you will) *everthing you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask."
It certainly answered lots of questions and gave me one heck of a leg up on everyone else, all the way through high school.
It gave me a good understanding of crossdressing and used the term "transvestite." Over the years, the clinical term came to gain a connotation of sexual perversity. As such, I freely admit that I crossdress. It is a word that accurately describes what I do. There is an occasional twitch of "Transvestic fetishism" when buying or trying on new cloths, BUT, it is not the primary reason I enjoy wearing cloths designed for the opposite sex.
As with most, I started with a tremendous sexual rush that mostly burned out by 30. (I started at 13 or so in 1974). I quickly discovered that underdressing did two things:
1. It allowed me to thumb my nose at cultural norms of men wearing women's clothing.. And in the process normalized the behavior over the years, which causes item 2.
2. When underdressing, totally dressing or stealth dressing in public gives a feeling of relaxation as though I have a pass on societal expectations...and I do, I essentially gave it to myself.
It amazes me how many disavow labels or detest the words. Crossdressing is the word that describes in our language what I do... If someone asks, "Yes, I crossdress...because I like wearing the cloths and am not engaged in some perverse sexual stunt or to 'get off'"
Usually I omit the brief explanation .
Yes, of course we all experience mental and emotional problems at one time or another. We are imperfect human beings, and experiencing occasional problems is not an indication of mental illness. It only becomes a mental illness if it takes over and it prevents us from functioning properly. So, AGP (or any other sexual proclivity) would only be a mental illness if the CDer found himself incapable of working, incapable of being in a relationship if this is what he wanted, and/or incapable of interacting socially with others because all he wanted to do was to spend time alone dressing and getting off.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ressie
I do not consider that non-traditional sexual habits, if they are enjoyed occasionally, are mental or emotional problems. Also, even if the sexual habit is considered "normal" (sex with an opposite-sex adult), it would still be problematic if the person needed to engage in it constantly, to the point where he couldn't function at work, in a relationship, or socially. It's not a question of what gets people off, it's a question of balance between one specific type of pleasure and life's commitments and obligations together with other pleasures.
Right. Everyone has their own particular take on what these words mean, and so it's pointless to try to reach a consensus. I think it's best for a person to describe what he does, rather than trying to assign a label to it. For example, "I dress occasionally and once in a while, it is sexual for me", instead of trying to pin it down to "I am a crossdresser" or "I am a transvestite".Quote:
Originally Posted by whorton
Consuelo, my dressing was a total turn-on for me and the sexual release was wonderful .I wish I knew some one who could push the right buttons for me .Devone
Just posting this to give some background for terminology.
AGP Autogynephilia
Classical Definition - Blanchard's transsexualism typology, also Blanchard autogynephilia theory (BAT) and Blanchard's taxonomy, is a psychological typology of male-to-female (MtF) transsexualism created by Ray Blanchard through the 1980s and 1990s, building on the work of his colleague, Kurt Freund. Blanchard divided trans women into two different groups: homosexual transsexuals, whom Blanchard says seek sex reassignment surgery to romantically and sexually attract (ideally heterosexual) men, and "autogynephilic transsexuals" who purportedly are sexually aroused at the idea of having a female body. The typology suggests distinctions between MtF transsexuals, but does not speculate on the causes of transsexualism. The distinction is a recurring theme in scholarly literature on transsexualism
I have been dressing since 7. Dressing has always been comforting and exciting. I would say I am a Transgendered crossdresser. I have a very strong feeling of being female. But not enough to transistion.
Sarah
Interesting topic and made me look back at my story.
I used to (occasionally) dress in some of my mum’s clothes before I reached puberty – usually just underwear and a petticoat – and I remember enjoying it, feeling excited but there was no overt sexual element. When I reached puberty, I was very naïve on biology so didn’t really understand the way the human body worked – certainly didn’t understand what peers were on about when it came to the things teenage boys talked about.
As such, I started to get more aroused when dressing up, but not really understanding what was happening. Without wanting to get lewd, it dawned on me reading this thread that my first genuine “awakening" occurred when I dressed-up fully for the first time, probably in my early teens, from head to toe (including make-up and my mum’s heels).
Not really fussed if it is an ism, a fetish, a disorder or anything else. I’ve been dressing up for the past 20 years – I am straight, married, mortgage, job, etc. and it’s never affected my life. I still love dressing up and, as my first "moment" was dressed as a woman, it also continues to provide sexual gratification.
Swimtran, I think you echo my feelings and experiences wholeheartedly. Thanks for your contribution.
Kelly,
Thanks for outlining Blanchard's work. This is part of my problem so I dug deeper and asked questions and was given information about TGs with AGP, this part was the expansion on Blanchards work because some people still had the need to transition even though they weren't TSs. There are two distinct sides , homosexual and nonhomosexual, it's important to think of them as separate , it makes a big difference to me as a nonhomosexual. The other important point is the sexual element is only part of the equation, to some it doesn't come onto it at all, unlike me.
Julia Serano has done a lot of work debunking AGP http://www.juliaserano.com/TSetiology.html she has also written an excellent book. One can google debunking AGP and find a myriad of information too.
Becky, this is true. People on both sides of an argument can write convincing arguments. But, the topmost argument, in my view, is always whether the description of a condition rings true to the person who experiences what is being described. There have been lots of CDers who have said that they have, indeed, experienced sexual excitement over the thought of being a woman. Whether you want to call this AGP or something else is up to you, but it does not take away from the fact that the condition exists.
For those of you who want a breakdown of what autogynephilia means, it is AUTO (self) - GYNE (female) - PHILIA (love of, or sexual excitement).