I disagree! At least some do, including me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Salerba
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I disagree! At least some do, including me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Salerba
Technically I am a MIAD. However I haven't worn a dress in years. I wear mostly leggings and associated "comfy clothes" like tank tops and tees. Fem jeans and shorts, panties (the only underwear I own) sports bras, padded bras (no forms) I shave my body except for my goatee. I get my nails done on a regular schedule. I identify as male. I just enjoy the clothes that I choose to wear. Am I a CD? Sure. But mostly I'm me.
One of the unspoken things that complicates the discussion is what we mean by the 'man' part of MIAD. I am now a confirmed happy MIAD, because I define man as a broad category- anyone either male anatomically or generally masculine. I think what drives the desire of many of us to want to leave the 'man' part behind is that we feel we want to be free of all the associations with manhood- the rules, expectations, outmoded or negative traits that are allowed for and indulged in by men, etc.
I resolve all this by saying I am a mirl, a male and a man who is also girly frequently. Each of us who likes MIAD basically is ok with being a man and then reaching out to enjoy all that dresses mean to us. We can see that we are men, and yet we want to wear a dress. I found 5 different reasons for me, and each exists without the other, though they interact somewhat.
-sensual: the rustling of the dress hem , the slithering of the bodice lining, etc
-sexual: I love to feel desirable and to emphasize my waist and hips, with clothes signaling my receptivity
-fashion: I love the range of colors and patterns and to be a walking painting
-permission to feel and behave like a woman is allowed to- in nonsexual ways: this is harder to explain, but I can feel it all through my body- more relaxed, energy flows differently, lighter, more aware of all sorts of things
-political: having been bedeviled by being in the closet, I want to blow off the closet doors for everyone and get this whole unnecessary painful constraint over with- worldwide!!! Ok.. just saying
That's a key for me. All my life I was inclined to laugh louder, cry easier, hug strangers, ask the silly questions, etc. There was no actual reason why I couldn't do those things. I know more enlightened men than myself who can do those things but when I was play-acting a cisgender male I didn't allow myself those things because I was concerned they'd "blow my cover." Now my cover is gone and I can actually let those natural impulses flow -- as they say in the trade, I can be my "authentic self." That's a huge payout -- that's probably the most motivating of all the factors that flushed me out of the closet. (Of course, now I have to learn how to be that person I never allowed myself to be all those years. )Quote:
Originally Posted by phili
Not Me !!
I am with you Judy Its either all or nothing and I want to be mistaken for a woman.
Minority, different, categorized, unusual, offbeat, odd, peculiar… Society seems to want to categorize everything to make better sense of it in their minds. Sooner or later we all stand out. For better or worse I am who I am, and find good supportive people/friends here. Take care, Brenda
The whole thought of a man wanting to wear a dress is something that can be difficult for some to understand. I can only imagine what it was like for the women of the early 20th century seeking emancipation from the restraints that had been placed on them "forever". Today women in the world are still struggling to get this emancipation that some women now have. Men need emancipation also. True freedom is being able to be who you want to be, but with freedom comes responsibility. We all should be able to dress comfortably as we choose without ridicule, yet remember that there are times and places that some attire may not be appropriate. If you want to dress like a hooker remember that Walmart might not be the place to do it. This sound like common sense, but it's amazing what can be seen in Walmart from both men and women!
Phili, I liked a couple of things you said;
-sensual: the rustling of the dress hem , the slithering of the bodice lining, etc
-fashion: I love the range of colors and patterns and to be a walking painting
-permission to feel and behave like a woman is allowed to- in nonsexual ways: this is harder to explain, but I can feel it all through my body- more relaxed, energy flows differently, lighter, more aware of all sorts of things
(I really get this, to me it's like my senses being more aware, aroused, fine tuned with what is going on around me)
To let yourself go free with how you are feeling at a particular moment, whether it be filling up your senses, or enjoying the fashions that many of us want the total freedom to enjoy. Stop and smell the roses, feel the wind on your skirt and legs. Men rely too much on there sight, they need to be emancipated also, it's just that they don't know it.
Definitely not a MIAD!
When I dress I want to feel and be perceived as a woman. When society sees you as female we are allowed the freedom of expression I crave..
Phili,
let me elaborate a little on this and maybe add something:
On my part, I don't want to leave the "man" part behind. As I said before in this thread, I like being a man. I'm fine with providing, protecting, I can do things around the house.Quote:
Originally Posted by phili
Rather, I would love for all those expectations, rules, obligations etc. not be a part of what it takes to be a man. Many times it feels like you have such a narrow line to walk. Deviate just a little and it's guaranteed that there would always be someone to take you back to the fold. It feels like "you can't be this, this and that, that and those two things there, and oh, forget about this too...
I am sure that I can do everything that the society expects of me as a man, and have demonstrated it many times. Yet why, in light of everything, it it taken away by my wearing women's clothes? Many a female friend told me that she would loose respect for me if I wore a skirt.
I'm with Gilian on that men need emancipation too, it's just many don't know it or realize it.
Funny this topic should come up now. It has probably been six months since I last posted. I am in the process of writing a re-introduction that almost nobody will read. Somewhere below I have included an excerpt from it.
It is hard to determine the number of people who feel this way but I must take issue with their views regarding crossdressing. They feel that "looking like a man wearing a dress is degrading and insulting to crossdressers and hurts our cause to be accepted by the public. Help us by not doing it." I will not out the author, but the content is one of the reasons I stopped participating.
I don't know what makes you better than me. I don't know what makes your cause more important than mine. I never thought you were hurting my cause. Hell, I never knew I had a "cause". But, since you forced me to have one, my cause is to look like a man wearing a dress and be accepted by the public. When you pretend to be the opposite sex, I do not consider it degrading and insulting to me, a crossdresser, and I would never ask you to not do it. For some people here, the all inclusive crossdressing umbrella is very small.
This is pretty simple, a man wearing women's clothing is a crossdresser. Pretend I want to blend in while shopping at the mall. I put on a pair of women's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and even a wig. I am blending in but could have looked almost the same in men's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and a wig. That means crossdressing in public is all about wearing makeup and wigs? That makes no sense.
I guarantee I can blend in with the public better as a guy in women's clothing than a guy in women's clothing, makeup and a wig. I just won't be what you want me to be. But, I will be happy.
Very well said!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracy Irving
Tracy, welcome back!
Your point is quite right. Those of us who are not fully "en-femme" / do not try to pass are still part of this community & it is a shame if a very small number think that we are somehow not real members simply because we do not fit their ideal.
Since i joined the forum i have not noticed any particular comments like this and have always felt welcome here, so hopefully this was an isolated example.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter what "category" we fit into. What is important is that we can be who we really are.
Lucy23 wrote:
Many a female friend told me that she would loose respect for me if I wore a skirt.
Why lose respect? I don't lose respect of countless women wearing trousers, I don't like it but still respect them.
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Very well said Tracy & Nic.
I wish I knew. Their reply was more along the lines of "Because..." and couldn't seem to muster up any logical explanation. That is not to say I would disrespect that they don't like it at all.
A couple of weeks ago I was at a local variety shop when I saw a young fellow wearing a small black skirt and what I think were very colourful tights or leggings. He acted very natural and unconcerned.
Then two days later I saw him again skateboarding on the sidewalk near my shop, similarly dressed. Obviously a miad!
I wish we had more trailblazers like him!
Since I posted this thread I have been reading many posts where someone expresses similar ideas. I usually suggest to them that they are really miads. I am also encouraged by the replies to this post both posititve and some not so, but still civil. We have a great community here.
Tracy Irving wrote:
I guarantee I can blend in with the public better as a guy in women's clothing than a guy in women's clothing, makeup and a wig. I just won't be what you want me to be. But, I will be happy.
Very interesting observation, and I wish I had the nerve to do it.
Transgender is the umbrella term for what everyone is that dresses like the opposite sex
,wears makeup, performers
, drag queens, gender ****s,panty boys, gender queer,sissies,Crossdressers, transvestites.......(Miads)
If you are non gender conforming you are a Transgender, that includes the invented term "miads". A skirt is not a dress and the kid is a Transvestite because he wears clothing only. He is under the Umbrella.
Salerba I guess in a loose definition I am I prefer skirts to dresses, but more or less the same thing. For almost 2 months outside of work I wore nothing but skirts.
Andronous makes who look better then many pretty women.
You see them modeling and performing sometimes as show girls.
If you get out like I do you will know about the many transgenders in different stages that look so real that most don't know.
We say they look fishy!
Girl she looks lovely like fish.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Salerba
Phili,
What drives me is AGP , it's not so much wanting to shake of the male side as wanting to be seen and accepted as a woman. it's why MIAD doesn't work for me , OK the literal translation is to love yourself as a woman but there is more to it than that.
My integration is gradually happening which will finally be complete when I move into my new home. I know there will have to occasions when the appearance of a man has to return but it still won't be an in between state.
im ok with the crossdresser definition for myself but if 'miad' is more you than go do that.
Thank you for posting the graphic. I was going to type something similar, but you and the visual aid said it better.Quote:
Originally Posted by dynastycarol
Just for the record, I am not a MIAD, but I have no problem whatsoever with the OP's description of his lifestyle. It's right for him, and that's what is important. It's a great big, wonderful world out there, and like the song says, "you gotta go where you wanna go, do what you wanna do, with whoever you wanna do it with."
This is the first time I have noticed your Post. AND you hit me right on....I must admit
that I am a "MIAD" and have a mustache also.
I never thought of what you call a MIAD, but it fits. I do not go out of the house dressed,
I do under dress all the time, and wear Fem Jeans. I wear a bra, because I fill our a "B"
cup very well.
Thanks for finding me, Now I know where I stand.
Rader
"You are who you are, that's all right with me,
But I am who I am, that's all I can be."
-Trace Adkins, "Ladies Love Country Boys"
So do I, but let's not make any more splits. In my mind a "miad" is a person who crosdresses but does not emulate a woman. I spend all my days in skirts (my preference,too) but as a man. I can see why some would prefer adding or discarding certain items, but it does not affect being a miad.Quote:
Originally Posted by wbdavid
It's the idea "dress as you like" and live your life the way you want.
People who try to look like women are actually actors playing a role. And it's great. I enjoy showbusiness as a spectator but not as a player.
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Teresa,Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa
Your reasoning for not being a miad is exactly the opposite of my wanting to be one. I'm happy being a man and don't want to be perceived a woman.
I've been following your recent episodes of your life with great interest and wish you all the best in the new chapter.
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Rader,
After many years on the forum I realised that in many ways I am not like most people here. I like to dress like women did when I was young, not like they do now.
I have completely no interest in discussing wigs, makeup, jewellery etc. I wear clothes that appeal to me, disregarding what others may think, as I do not go out in public.
I dress every day as it is usual in my environment to dress. I don't think of my clothes as anything special, just coverings for my body (I am not a nudist).
I don't think it is big deal to wear a skirt rather than trousers, is it?
That's why I formulated an idea of "miad".
As for me I was born male and no matter how I dress I am still a male. However when I do dress up I try to look as "female" as possible. I have enough on top to fill a c-d cup if I wear a shaper and cutlets. Other than that no extra padding. Whether I'm seen as a man or woman doesn't really bother me. Just as long as I'm treated respectfully.
So am I a MIAD ???
What ever makes you happy and content is all that counts. We are all different and we should respect each other. The way I look at it the more of us that are out and about will make it easier for our situation become more accepted and more mainstream
For me when I dress, don't feel like a MIAD for sure, My inner feeling kicks in and act and think like Rayleen.
I guess I fit here although I am not into defining terms -transvestite, crossdresser etc- and I could not "pass" in a dark room at night full of blind people. However, I wear MY clothing because I like how it feels and looks on me. So MIAD fits.
I am most definitely a man in a dress at this point. I really really want to take it further though.
When I am in male clothes and clean shaven I get called mam. So when dressed like a girl. I sure get called a mam. I have long hair and even though dressed in male clothes I must look fem and get called that. So I don't try to do maid. I use a moisturizer on my face and I think that helps. If I put makeup on then I really look fem. I went out last night dressed to get a battery for my mouse and got a couple looks from men who seemed to like my look. So I am not a MAID.
I never gave it any thought to being a MIAD until today. I was in Macy’s and I found a skirt that I had to have. I promised myself I would never buy another article of clothing again without trying it on. I’m in male clothing wearing jeans and black combat type boots with 4 days worth of facial hair. So I did. And loved it! I bought it and left.
When I got to my car I thought what the heck. I went back in and bought some black tights and headed to the men’s room. I put on the tights, skirt and my boots along with my men’s top and headed back into the store. Talk about nerves! I thought traveling pretty was up there but this was off the charts! I mingled in the shoe department and asked for a couple of sizes of shoes that they didn’t have��. No adverse reactions but I did catch people looking me up and down trying to compute what they saw.
Since I was now in shoe shopping mode I went as I was dressed to DSW and another Macy’s but no luck. As it was getting late I headed to my hotel to check in and yup, I stayed dressed as I was. I did add some lipstick and mascara cuz why not at this point. Check in went off without a hitch and here I sit.
So all in all, it was awesome! I do prefer to go all out and attempt to present as a female, but for those times when I’m not able I now have an outlet. Never would I have believed that I would do what I did, but it won’t be the last time.
Kara,
I think being a miad does not have to be a full-time activity. Many people like to look at a coin from both sides. For me though, its miad all the way, no female look involved.
I commend you for presenting yourself as you want to be at the time. If more people see miads about they may become less of a shock than now.
Although technically I am a man in a dress, I don't classify myself that way. I like to look feminine, so whenever I can I do the full makeup, wig, breastforms thing.
Yup. I am a miad.
I just like wearing women's clothes. A few weeks ago I even went out in dress with a beard. (Don't worry, it was Comic Con. It's totally normal there lol)
I'm a MIAD, but it is not a 'less than' situation. I was amazed and relieved and overjoyed to find that being a man does not prevent me from feeling perfectly feminine.
At those times I would feel right at home in a female body, if I had one. But not having one, I am happy to be a mirl and enjoy all that my natural version of male womanhood offers.
I am happy with my options -I used to think that so many satisfactions, pleasures and relationships were out of bounds because not a girl, but that's all changed. Having a woman's body would just leave me in the same position, having one of three possible choices, [including intersex], and I'll always have to make the most of whatever I have.
MIADs can be more or less masculine, but that's the point- everyone wants to express what they feel. Now that I can see all this, I also completely understand wanting to use prosthetics and makeup- we are all homing in on what makes sense for us in our view of gender expression. The outcome is that we see ourselves as we want to in the mirror, and hopefully find others who come around to seeing us as we want them too. So wanting to be seen as female is just another version of wanting to be seen as male, or as a combination, etc.
Man in a Dress? Nope!
To people who don't know me, I appear to be a MIAL -- Man in a (pair of) Leggings. :heehee:
Honestly, I feel it's a bit of a shame that way more guys don't wear them.
They're basically just tight stretchy pants! Only a heck of a lot more fun... :thumbsup:
To each his own.
I am not MIAD. I dress to be a woman. When dressed it feels normal and comfortable. I enjoy being fully dressed or partially. When not dressed I'm a man. (I think)
Not me, I like to dress in total when I have a chance. Brenda
Ginni,
You wrote: When dressed it feels normal and comfortable.
You expressed what I, a miad, also can say.
Salerba, sorry I missed this thread and am just now seeing it. I too, can relate to the MIAD. Like you and others, I don't actually wear dresses but skirts. My regular daily wear is a skirt and a men's jacket and tie. Other days is a skirt and a polo shirts. However, I am also wearing heels as well. For me (and this is what counts) it completes the look and I like wearing heels as much as the skirts.
I have gone out in the past as Martha (wig, forms and make-up) with the wife typically on the weekends. But I never feel totally comfortable when doing so. I actually felt more comfortable as a man wearing a skirt and heels, than as a man wearing the wig, forms, blouse and skirt or a dress. My wife understands this, so now we go out more as a MAID (D=dressed wearing a skirt and heels), but for her we will typically, once a month, go out together with me as Martha. Gotta keep her happy! But even then, I do not try to act feminine or feel feminine.
When in MAID I don't identify myself as Martha either.
I too, felt that we are a minority here. But as Teresa said, a lot of people that post here in the CD forum should be posting more other the forums. And after reading your thread, we are not alone.
Martha B
I also prefer skirts but found that "miad" is more palatable than "mias". I remember seeing your pictures and always considered you "one of us". I know I have pictures similar to you in your avatar and want to post them as soon as I find them. I don`t wear heels: too feminine for me. I am glad that I find more people like me and don`t feel as isolated any more.
I`m sure there are more who have not yet seen my post or did not bother to post.
I was a little surprised when I joined here that I am so different from the majority here. Most want to look like women, and I don`t. I just like to wear clothes that were designed for women in the past, but mostly been abandoned by them. Most women wear trousers now rather than skirts, and bare legs and not nylons. It is up to us keep the old traditions alive. (With pleasure, I might say).
As to starting a special forum for miads it may not work as we are usually not very verbiose and may not generate enough posts to warrant it.
Are you the person who went to Europe recently or am I mistaking you for another.
I consider myself to be a MIAD quite simply because it's what I look like. I don't have a wig. I don't have make up. I have forms which I like to wear as they satiflsfy my female side. I don't go out. However, I don't consider myself to be fully male. When I'm out in a pub and I see a group of men carrying on in that distinctive way that men do, I can join in, but I don't feel fully part of it. When I see a group of girls in the same pub, I feel I could join them, but could never be one of them. In effect I feel I have bits of both. There is maleness there, there is femaleness there. Given a choice I would choose to wear women's clothes as they are infinitely better. I suppose I fall into what some cultures have as a third gender, for example in Samoan terms a "fa'afafine". I suppose for me, the ideal would be public acceptance of me as I wish to be, not fully boy, not fully girl, but something in the middle. What a shame western culture only really has two gender indentities. As for everyone else, be whatever you want to be and if you crossdress to whatever extent then you're a friend, a sister and or a brother to me, the what exactly is up to you.
I'm me ,doing me.
MIAD.
But I have a great love for soft fabrics and feminine mannerisms that I try very hard to incorporate in my everyday life. I have always done that with no desire to trans.
Salerno. I live about 6 months a year in Germany near Stuttgart and the other in the Dallas, TX area. Been doing this back and forth thing for 7 years now. To many, I have the seasons mixed. I spend the cold winter months in Germany and the hot summers in Texas. But I enjoy the heat and sun that Texas offers during the summer. This last summer was my first wearing a skirt full time. I’m now going into my second winter trying to keep my legs warm 😏
I'm content as a Guy in a Skirt when I have the opportunity to go out in public (away from home or on a hike) and if I'm puttering around the house and just the wife is at home. At the same time I like to get all dressed up in private, breast forms and all. Skirting as a man is a matter of being comfortable, it's the tactile side of crossdressing, dressing up to look pretty and feminine is matter of mental satisfaction. When I'm out as a man in a skirt I want to look masculine. When I'm at home fully dressed I want to look feminine.
When I was in my early teens I had a female cousin who knew of my dressing and kept my secret. She had amazing makeup skills and with my aunt's wig I could easily pass as any teen girl from 1970. We had a blast going out shopping at the mall, attending movies and having lunch. I was living a fantasy and fooling the world. GREAT memories.
Once full puberty hit I became a MIAD and lost all desire to even try to be passable. I have not worn make up or a stuffed bra in over 40 years. But I still enjoy all the sensations of lingerie, nylons, heels and a skirt.