Just lables. We are who we are and we sometimes change as life moves on.
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Just lables. We are who we are and we sometimes change as life moves on.
When I was in my teens I envied girls and if I could have snapped my fingers and became a girl I probably would have done it.
I never felt I was a girl, I just love the whole fem thing, well not when they're bitching on me!
I would agree with you that CDing is as far as I will go too, I'm a little too old for other options, though I figure what will be will be. When I was a kid I read up on what SRS entailed, and recently I read and watched Youtube videos about what HRT entailed, both times mostly out of curiosity. It's not for me. Guess you could say that educating myself was the thing that tipped me off. But I never had any feeling otherwise.
I think it's be easier to ask TS's what tipped them off that crossdressing wasn't as far as they needed to go, and the answer I assume is....they just knew.
This is an easy one for me. I work with transsexuals. I knew many, many transsexuals prior to that. I know what transsexualism entails, as much as any third party observer can. I don't have any desire to alter my physical body, and find the idea of doing that to my own body disturbing. I just enjoy feminine things.
Ironically, many of the TS I work with find it hard to understand why I wear women's clothing but don't want to live fulltime, have real breasts or SRS etc., go figure.
Also I think life is full of if's and but's
If I was younger I could have done this or that
But if I had would I have the same happiness as I do now?
If I had started dressing earlier in life would I have had HRT to have my own breasts?
If I had not married and had children would my life now be any different? yes for me it probably would
What is being said here is a very broad spectrum and concerns individual levels of lifestyle, age and orientation. Can I be certain of what I am? sure I am CD but with extremely strong feminine leanings. Will I transition I think not so far there comes a point in ones life whereby the thought of full transition is not an option because if ones life expectancy
and what one wants out of life.
I just want to be me, to dress and to be comfortable in dressing.
I’m a cd. As I am now that’s as far as I will go. I enjoy being a gril part time but I enjoy the make me too. I am sexually actracted to women and not men at all. I enjoy being with women (my wife.... as long as we are still married that is (she recently found out and didn’t take it well)) sexually as a guy.
Me, I'm definitely a cross dresser and won't go any further, I've been this way for far too long for things to change. In fact I'm probably the other way around from the assumption of the OP, in that I have become less TS as I have grown older. I, like many here, have been doing this for a very long time, now over 50 years and the world was very different then. Back then, becoming a girl would have been everything to me, and I would have jumped at the chance. But, that was then, cross dressing was hardly discussed let alone being fully TS. And so, with no outlet, with no prospect, it became suppressed and then that part of me was lost. I am as sure as I can be that if I were four years old now, then I wouldn't hide my desire to be a girl, as I did bck then, and I did so because my biggest fear was that the most important thing to me could be taken away, I would express it more and openly (well, at least I hope tht I would). I'm not too sad at that, because I am lucky that I can fully express my girl side at home and that has been my life. So, no, I am a CD and I'm not TS.
If I was young enough, worry about my true gender is not what would be on my mind. I would love to go totally out but with no operation. Part of the reason is that I would be with people who are like me...ef’ up sometimes but still like me. I would never worry about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen Bridget
Carpe diem! ❤️
That's very flipant, Jane. But, entirely beside the point of my thread.:straightface:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jane G
Crossdressers r men who dress up in women's things from time to time. Yet, many who started that way and thot they would go no further, eventually changed their minds!
Many have become TS's that live as women. That means they dress every day! And, may take hormones, have had breast implants, and even SRS. :battingeyelashes:
Even u must admit that's quit a long way from being a crossdresser!?:D
I guess it really depends upon how much one knows about why they crossdress. At first, I thought maybe I was gay. Then I thought perhaps transsexual. But it didn't quite fit; I thought I was supposed to be a girl, but there were little things that indicated otherwise. It took a long time to figure it out, I grew up way back when in the sixties, before any of this gender stuff was being talked about anywhere.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
For years, I thought I was supposed to be a girl. So, I planned out my life, thinking that god would eventually fix his mistake, and I would resume my girl life after that.
Problem: I wasn't a girl. Nor was my mindset that of a girl, either. And that is what tells me that I won't ever progress or transition. I don't think like a girl does, see the world like a girl does, or communicate like a girl does. I have no desire to nest, no desire to talk endlessly about nothing in particular, no fascination about other people's relationships, no desire or interest in men or getting married. I don't particularly like kids, and find infants irritating. I can go for days, even weeks with no other human contact, and not feel like I'm missing anything. I can go for years between seeing friends and not feel like they're giving me the silent treatment. I speak in direct language, not indirect.
I'm a male. The problems that I have due to the gender mix up from my youth that could be solved by transitioning, would simply be replaced by other problems that would be caused by it, as being a post op MTF would not create a suitable life. The life that I thought I was supposed to have, wasn't ever a real possibility.
As I don't suffer from a huge amount of gender dysphoria, all I will ever be, is a crossdresser.
I do feel sorry for all of those who do suffer from it, as there have been a few times in my life when I really did think that I was really a girl stuck in a boy's body. Luckily for me, I was able to figure it all out. Today, there is help for those who can't do it on their own.
I joined Sigma Epsilon Atlanta April 2004. During my introduction I made the statement that I have no intention of dressing full time, living as a woman full time, will not be taking hormones, will not have breast implants and last but not least, will not have anything cut off. I have not changed any of that. I will say that after 14 yrs I am more at ease going out dressed, going out more often now that I am retired.
How much is a desire to be more accepted by society (which changes) vs an innate need to be physically female - based on your definition. Certainly Ellbee's chance to live 24/7 is a way to find out, but best if done in a place with complete acceptance of MIAD or CDer who wants to pass. If society in no way reacted to how you dressed, would you still need have female organs. Is your desire to be treated like a woman by society, or to be able to have sex as a woman? What if you could just get the breast implants? Or just the facial surgery? Or just hormones? You need to decide what you truly need to be complete. Labels may define who you are based on which items from the above list you choose, but I won't go there.
Hugs, Ellen
As Pop Eye saya..."I yam, what I yam" I know who and what I am and do not aspire to be anything else
It's a very interesting question and something I've been thinking about for a while.
I'm just a crossdresser. I don't want to transition but.....
..... I came back to dressing after a very long break about 4 years ago. The thing is, before this, I wasn't unhappy. I didn't have a need to express my femme side. I can't remember which it was, but I bought some underwear for my wife's birthday about the same time that there was a programme on tv in the UK about crossdressers who wear masks. You were in it Sherry, so maybe you have a lot to answer for - lol! Anyway, something triggered me buying some underwear for myself, then a floral dress.
Then I discovered crossdressers.com and befriended some girls on this site. Before I knew it, I was learning to do make-up, something I hadn't considered before. But I never wanted to leave the house. But then I did. There was no way I would go to a T girl event, but then I did.
It seems to me that cross-dressing for me is like a drug. The more I do it, the more I want to do it and then I need a bigger fix. So where's this going? How long before I do laser to remove beard growth? Then what, could this even get to the point where I want to do it full-time? Probably not, but I know that being married to my wife acts as a brake on taking this to far. I have too much to lose if I take this too far so I remind myself that I don't need dressing to be happy. It's not the end of the world if I still have to use beard cover. It's not the end of the world if I can't dress as much as I like. Dressing makes me happy. I'd miss it if I stopped, but I shouldn't need it to be happy.
But if I wasn't married, I don't think I know where this would end up.
Sarah
I’ve said this before, and likely even a few times on this thread, but it’s not a binary question. I crossdress, but I undoubtedly have gender identity dysphoria, it’s just manageable. There’s an entire spectrum out there of people like us.
Two things:
1) I think the nomenclature generally used in this forum is outdated
2) I think there’s a pervasive fear in the CD community to explore the modern non-binary spectrum because it might involve having to acknowledge a little GID. But even that is a spectrum and you can live a full happy life without even considering transitioning.
I've been a CDer for a very long time and that's how it will always be.
Having said that, I've always wished that I had been born female.
Wishing I was female does not mean that I want to transition though, and the thought of me transitioning has never been something that I have needed to consider.
I am old enough to know that there is no way I could ever transition fully. If I had been born 30 or 40 years later, that might have influenced me to consider the possibility. Like Jaylyn, I'm never going to be able to join other CDs in experiencing the delights of sharing our common bond.
I think my signature line explains where I'm at. It seems for me that transitioning has more cons than pros. I too have thought about living as a woman but I'm afraid I'm not up to the challenge of it all. Anyway there's hardly ever a line at the men's room!
I can't be sure at all.
I've always desired to be female, but I'm not sure that qualifies me as TS. There are days when I feel I want so much more and then there aren't.
Where this journey ends I can't say, but I am surely enjoying the ride.
I am probably more than a cross dresser. As I have stated many times a counselor I talk to is of the opinion each man or woman has some dna component within of the opposite sex. In some it is more than others. Her analysis makes some sense, even if it cannot be proven. If I were to put that concept on a sliding scale from 0 to 100, where would a person be? 10%? 20%? 90%? And under what circumstances would the inner woman arise and take over for the hour, or day or forever?
I am comfortable also being a male and acting in societal male roles and wearing male designated attire. I suspect I'd have to be pretty far down the sliding scale towards that 100% before I would entertain the thought of transitioning to a female body to correspond to a female mind. Reflecting back to the past I see where there were stages in my dressing and feelings that were akin to girls, teenagers and mature women. I see that aspect of appearing as a female conforming to the societal expectations of a female.
My studies tell me that I cannot be certain!
I study myself everyday, and know that I am part of the Evolutionary Chaos Theory!
Comfortable knowing that I will be who I am!
Stacy!
I think you can be certain in the right now, but who knows what the future brings. Try to find balance and contentment with who you are right now. Sherry, I am never certain about where this journey ends.
Being a crossdresser is as far as I will ever go today, just as it has been my limit for my entire life, to date...Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
I can't speak for tomorrow. It is a new day with new challenges and I look forward to participating in its unfolding.
I’m gonna sign off this thread after this post to avoid having an aneurism out of perpetual frustration, but you’re all still comparing apples to oranges.
Crossdressing is an activity. Transsexualism is a manifestation of gender identity borne of severe dysphoria. Ask yourselves WHY you feel the need to crossdress, explore that, and then compare that sentiment to the transsexual experience. There are 31 flavors of in-between to choose from.
Otherwise it’s like comparing democracy to capitalism. Ones an apple and the other is an orange.
I was 4 when I first had the desire to be a girl. The feeling never went away. When I first began crossdressing at age 11, the desire became stronger to change my gender. Unfortunately, my body was developing into a burly male and the idea of transgender had only been experimented. As time went by, gave up any thought of becoming a female and focused on trying to look like one. Although the appearance never made it to a passable woman, I am still struggling with that desire.
This is where I started. I'm picking up where I left off.
And a lady has a right to change her mind.
Agreed and well said!Quote:
Originally Posted by KatrinaK