Suzy, let her read this: https://www.webmd.com/brain/features...rains-differ#1Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy1
Or this: https://stanmed.stanford.edu/2017spr...different.html
and this: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017...-men-and-women
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Suzy, let her read this: https://www.webmd.com/brain/features...rains-differ#1Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy1
Or this: https://stanmed.stanford.edu/2017spr...different.html
and this: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017...-men-and-women
Marina, I would say, without doing the math, 80% of the replies state they identify as male. I knew starting the thread that those of us who aren't fully transitioned but are women were in the minority.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarinaTwelve200
umm-m-m. Conflicted / defeated??
I've always known (as far back as I can remember) that I was supposed to have been born a girl. I even began counselling / HRT in my 40's to 'make the switch'.
But I'm also a realist, and the mirror isn't a friend. At a point on the way, my reflection reminded me that I'd "never fit in" if I continued on that course.
That - and the potential cost (financial, familial, social, etc.) of transitioning stopped me. I guess that my need isn't so strong that I had to say "damn the torpedos"
I live - uncomfortably- somewhere in the middle... male to the outside world, dressed feminine (a bit) at home, wishing I had more but knowing that understanding that I'm in an OK spot. It's a compromise, but it works. Other than this unsatisfied longing/desire/not-quite-need, I have a good life and don't want to do anything to mess it up.
How does that phrase go - something about living lives of "quiet desperation"?
Born male, but was lousy at it. it took about 50 years for me to discover why. Crossdressing had always been just a fetishy thing for me until I began to understand myself after a long long time.
As a MIAD I have to agree with that pronouncement. I am a man but spend most of my time in skirts and lingerie which I no longer consider as strictly women's clothing. I never considered myself to be a female; always a man. Look at the spectrum of clothes that people wear. Is there are a clearly defined demarcation line? On this side female on that male. What I wear all the day long is what I like, what is comfortable to wear. I no longer think of myself as crossdressing, just wearing my clothes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bea_
Hi Kimberly,Quote:
Originally Posted by KimberlyJean
I've been thinking a lot about this.
By "how you identify", I presume you mean male, female, NB, etc, etc? After all, that's what this whole site is about!
But after pondering it for a while, I have to say "none of the above".
Huh?
If I had to answer ... it would be parent, grandparent, scientist. Those are the big identities.
M/F, etc, are all secondary. If some magic were to happen and I woke up as a genetic female tomorrow, I'd be "whatever". I'd probably wear dresses a lot, and occasionally "cross dress" in 3-piece men's suits or the like. But I'd still identify as those other things.
If I had to answer something in the gender space, it would be either "male with a little bit of femaleness" or "a little bit of female with a lot of maleness". That all leads to the question of "why am I here?" - well, that's simple, I cross dress. When I signed up for the site I was more in the "what's going on with me? am I this? am I that? am I somewhere in between?" kind of space and hoped to get a bit of a sense of direction to start working all that out. I think that it's been an amazing success in that I've come to realize that (to me) it's not that important -- almost, but not quite, as trivial as hair color (ok, that might be a little overly simplified). I realize that for many other people, the question of gender identity is fundamental and critical -- and it's reading those accounts that have led me to realize that my gender id is not that fundamental to me.
Sometimes I feel this way, sometimes that, and it's comforting to conform to how I feel ... but if I don't, it's no big deal either.
So why do I cross dress then? I think a lot is that it acknowledges & accepts & comforts my female bits. Even though I am physically deep in the closet, psychologically, to me, I am out and not denying/fighting/...
Hope that helps &
Thanks for letting me rant
Fran
p.s. I hope no one takes my general thought that gender identity is "no big deal" as applying to anyone but me ... the fact that it _is_ a big deal to so many/all of _you_ serves as fine examples against which I can judge myself. -- fran
I am a straight male that enjoys a vivid imagination and indulging myself in my fantasies and desires. So to explain this is simple I learned many years ago I only need to be me and that is who I am no matter what I'm doing or wearing.
I don't know exactly where i fit into the spectrum.:confused:
I don't want to transition but neither do i identify with traditional masculine streotypes. I guess these days i think of myself as gender-blurred, or perhaps gender-indifferent. The best i can do is just be the person i wanna be, whatever that is....
I feel that I'm a "feminine" angel in human disguise.
Male
I just happen to also wear women's clothes.
Hi ... I think that says it best for me too. When I first joined this site, i had more questions about being a man who struggled to be some sterotype of what was around me. It sort of Chicago/Italian family man but my family were above being part of the neighborhood. This was my concept of what I had to contend with to be successful where I lived.Quote:
Originally Posted by Samm
A lot has passed since the old days but I am always thinking of the manly things I did to fit in. I’d love to shave fully and not have to play a role but I can’t. And that’s okay.
I’ve been a woman many times in life. Not sure when but part of me was always on the bottom for a long period of time. It feels very comfortable to be. It always did.
AND I’ve learned to smile! Thanks CDdotcom. ❤️❤️〰️robbin
PS Thanks for the nice question. Mississippi. Someday I want to go there for the banjo music ... to play and look like Meridith Moon. What a dream. ~by XX
Trans Female, because I should have been born a girl.
I don't understand. I don't identify.
I identify as Transgender because drag or drab, I am a GM that always feels like a woman and I always have since I was like 10 years old.
I think I am closer to a dual personality.... but not in a strange way. I have a male personality and a female one. :)
Growing up in the 50's &60's we didn't have the concepts of bi gendered or gender fluid. Even transgender(transsexualism in those days) wasn't much on the radar. You were either male or female or queer. I spent much of my early life trying to prove to myself I wasn't the latter. This made me a more timid, secretive and introverted person than I probably would have been otherwise.
Now, at 69 I know I am not a woman; My body dysphoria is not strong enough to make me think about transitioning after a lifetime of conforming to the social expectations of a male bodied person. On the other hand, I feel no real identification with maleness, other than habituation. I have some feminine hobbies, but almost any hobby nowadays can really be seen as androgynous. I dress in woman's clothing most days, but it's not just about the clothes. I am married for 40 years to a woman, and at her request I don't go out dressed.
So, I guess, bi gendered, gender fluid, or agender. I'm coming to the concept late in life, so I guess I'll just let the pronoun issue slide.
I'm a Crossdresser. I have no idea why but glad I'm like I am. :hugs:
Angie
It's an interesting question, and one that most friends ask when I come out to them. I guess the short answer is non-binary or gender-fluid.
Earlier, when I only dressed in private and kept it a secret from everyone, I felt the need to be a girl constantly. As I started coming out to more friends, having conversations about girls' stuff, and going out in public, the frequency of wanting to be a girl has become less, but it's still there. Given a choice, would I be a guy at all? If I could switch at will, I think I would choose to be a guy about half the time, and a girl half the time. I don't see that happening outside of science fiction or fantasy, though!
Personally, I know I am both male and female currently in a male body. I love clothes and in particular female clothes as it helps me express.
I know I don't want to be a woman fully and I am not a man fully. But having both parts is a awesome gift! so cool to go either way - no boundaries:)
I am Transgender. No matter my outside appearance, inside I am female. I present as a male for my wife and her world. I am happy as I am and feel no need to upset any carts that don’t need overturning.
I'm just myself. Which means, I like sometimes to dress as a woman, but I feel like I'm still a man (or genderless).
I use my male voice, no fake breast...I don't feel the need to force on aspect I do not like.
However, I don't dislike when someone use Miss towards men, since I take this as a form of respect.
what Kali said ����Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalisopwith
I feel totally different when I'm all made up. I love it :)
I'm a man in a man's body.
But I love the variety of clothes on offer to women and how just simply changing from daytime underwear into a sexy thong or a classy dress can change your mood.
I love dressing and the fun it brings but I'll always be a man.
Xxx
I was born into a religious culture where if it hangs you are a man and if it doesn't you are a woman, no questions about it. However growing up, I always knew I was different from the boys and many of them knew it too. I was severally bullied as a child by other boys (and even some of my own family) because I hated most boy type activities and was drawn to girl activities though I dared not to partake in many due to the repercussions that would have came from the bullies, family, and church. Then from my late teens until my early forties, I buried myself into every kind of guy or manly thing that I could bury myself into tying to hide from what I knew I really was inside. Then a dear friend (known here as Christinac) came out to me as being trans and began to transition and that encouraged me to, instead of hiding what I am, explore what I really am. I still not a hundred percent "out" yet, but I am not hiding as much as I once was too.
How I identify?
I check my underwear, of course!
I'm a guy who likes to wear women's clothing sometimes. Frankly, I don't know how a woman is suppose to think anyway. I use to think being a combat infantryman, combat helicopter pilot or a combat jet pilot was exclusively man's work. Not anymore. And, being a nurse was exclusively women's work. Not anymore. I have to chuckle a lot when I see guys puffing out their chests and acting "all manly" but when their wives show up it's a lot of "yes dear." There's entirely too much "I must conform to some role" going around. I don't believe having a desire to wear women's clothing necessarily equates to being a woman or wanting to be a woman. I am totally content being who I am. I do agree there are men and women who are "wired" in a way that is contrary to the expected norms of society.
I'm happy your mother was a strong positive role model. My mother was a total bitch. She was an example of a person I strive to not emulate.
We all exist on a male/female spectrum to varying degrees. Most lean exclusively one way or another. I have always felt that I had more feminine characteristics than most men and thus find it easier mentally and emotionally to present myself in that manner at times. But bottom line I still am a man who is comfortable with his female persona.
I always wanted when Im in a man mode ...to dress up as a woman and enjoy being a real woman all the time .....sometimes when Im working at the office , wild thoughts come to me imaginning myself as a woman surrounded by lovely ladies chating together and enjoying ourselves ...wearing lingeries having fun together .....so a large part of me is screaming to be a woman all the time .....Yet reality is bonding us to be who we are forced to be ....
Love love love ShelbyDawn's response:) It's perfect and I identify with it 100%,
I could and would never pass as a female, but I still feel in my soul that I would love to.
Jenn,
We are all on this forum for a ton of reasons. Whether we admit it or not, I believe one of them is that, at some point, there is one thing we need to hear or one thing we have to say that someone needs to hear, there is one lesson that we either need to teach or be taught, there is one gift of kindness we need to give or receive and we never know what it will be, so we keep sharing.
Thank you for validating that for me.
What Stephanie said. Especially about my mother. 😁
I haven't found a label that doesn't come with some expectations that make me feel uncomfortable. Clearly I am most comfortable somewhere between the binary poles. I am just me.
Anne
I’m a woman. I’ve cross dressed since I was 3, and always wanted to wear girly clothes and present as female. When I was in high school I decided to give up the girly stuff and learn to be like all the other boys, which I did for a while. I learned to act male, but it was always an act. It was like walking a tightrope. If I didn’t watch myself all the time, I’d start acting girly. But if I wasn’t careful I’d carry the act too far and turn everyone off. Now that I’ve finally accepted myself for who I really am, the act is much easier. It’s much easier to carry on an act when you know you’re just acting.
Now, I have a few male obligations which I acquired by spending many years pretending to be male. I occasionally dress in male clothing to meet these obligations, but I’m working toward the day when I can dress normally 24/7. I’m old, and not in the best of health, so a physical transition is not in the cards. I wish I had “woken up” much earlier. If I had, I definitely would have transitioned in my 20s. In fact, my favorite fantasy is imagining what my life would have been like as a physical female. Needless to say, I spend most of my time fully en femme, living the life I was meant to live. I love being a woman.
I don’t have the slightest idea why I feel the way I do. I just know my feelings are right for me. And I respect all of your feelings, regardless of what they may be.
I am a man. I was born male and will be till the end.
I like to wear nylons and tights and dresses and skirts and heels and sweaters and tops and lately jewelry.......occasionally. I find that my mannerisms don't change much when I am dressed, I don't become another person. The only thing that I am aware of that changes when I am dressed is that I cross my legs more often when sitting.
I can not explain why I like to wear women's clothing, it will remain one of the great mysteries of my time
I am me.
So it took me a long time to figure out how I identify but with my counselor I was able to figure it out.
First of all, it’s believed that crossdressers are in the trans spectrum, so I’m trans though I have no desire to ever become a woman.
I am a man, with manly desires and manly likes. I have a very strong feminine side who is more sensitive, creative kind of and who loves feeling cute.
I can feel feminine even when I’m not dressed like a girl. My counselor has noticed that I’m more in touch with my feelings as a girl than as a man. Probably because I’m closeted and am afraid of showing my sensitive side because it could out me.
So I consider myself gender fluid. I’m a bisexual gender fluid crossdresser
Male..at least for now. I assumed crossdressing was part of the transgender umbrella but now I’m not so sure. It is a gender transition of sorts I suppose hence the conflict. But I have so many deep psychological issues and past traumas that I feel that I just want to escape from it all by being someone else entirely now, someone hopefully more likeable like a fresh start. I know that may not sound like a very good reason to physically transition properly if I ever decide to. Dressing to look like a female only at least gives me some escape route though.
Friends, family and colleagues finally know I CD, and often go out dressed, although mainly in jeggings for now until people feel comfy enough around me. I feel a new found sense of freedom, and I love it.
I haven’t ruled out HRT in the future though yet may not have the full surgery (likely not), and if I decide even just HRT then only then I will consider me as transgender female, although I like women. I really am still figuring me out. Well I accept now that I was always a little screwed up since I was little.
So I feel I am getting to a point of acceptance of my screwy life, where I am now becoming more bold and fearless to an extreme after living in fear and lonely depressing misery for too long. I feel that I am becoming more confident for it. But for now I am CD, which I am becoming more and more full time with.
When the term transgender started going mainstream it was a big revelation to me, and even more when I started thinking of gender more as a spectrum and less as a binary. I'd always assumed that sex and gender wore pretty much the same thing.
My biological sex is male. I'm heterosexual.
My gender is probably most accurately described as GF or Gender Fluid, but I sometimes get this confused with Sissy.
Why gender fluid? When I was a kid I was happy to play with my trucks, I wanted boy toys, I watched GI-Joe. I secretly wanted a cabbage patch kid, I wanted to play with dress up paper dolls, I wanted a carebear and I wanted to watch rainbow brite, but I didn't do any of these things because I knew that they were wrong. As I got a little older and started having younger cousins I wanted to rock them to sleep and change their diapers, but instead I pretended like i was way to much of a boy for that. When the girls at church formed a clogging group and wore big frilly dresses with petticoats and danced I wanted to join them.
All the while I was happy to be who I was, I just wished I could be a girl too.
I often think if I had the opportunity to express myself openly as more feminine I would probably start identifying more as a transgender woman.
Interesting thread, I am genetically a male, father and husband BUT inside I am mostly female. I greatly enjoy presenting as female whenever possible but I do not need to, to be her...
Interesting to note how many posters say straight male - for those of you who may wonder sexual attraction has nothing to do with gender.. specially around this forum you don't have to worry, none of us think you are gay because you crossdress.
Turns out I am a Drag Queen! Sure the dressing is fun in and of itself, but for me it’s really about the fashion, the spectacle, the performance, soft sculpture, drama, and being seen.
Very interesting thread. I never fully understood the difference in alot of things surrounding terms, of what Crossdressing or Trans meant until maybe this last year. After chatting and reading on here. I finally understood alot more. Even though I been crossdressing since I was a child. I am a straight and married. I identify myself as a crossdresser, or a sissy I guess you could call it. Have no desire to become a women, just really enjoy dressing up.
I am like that too. Except for heels & jewellery: I don't care for either.Quote:
Originally Posted by Seana Summer
I am a man who likes to wear nylons, lingerie, skirts but I have no feminine feelings or behaviour. I am all man, except for the clothes I wear.
This is me, except I've always crossed my legs in a female way and wonder if that's a tell. And wonder how much of my personality traits came along for the ride.Quote:
Originally Posted by Seana Summer