What is the acceptance level of your wife or SO

audreyinalbany, You definitely have some degree of acceptance, not the best but not the worst either.
Thanks everyone for all the responses so far

I've been thinking on this, and here's what I've come up with...

If:
0 is "I HATE the very idea, and there is no way I'm going to put up with it"
5 is "I really don't give a fig what you wear - or don't"
10 is " "I LOVE IT!!! lets get you dressed up right now!"

I guess I'd have to say my SO is about a 3-4: "I wish you didn't have this, but I can be OK within specific limits. And sometimes, I can even sorta forget what you are wearing."

Somewhere in the middle I guess, but I don't do very much. I'm happy with my level on the feminine side.

So mine was initially near a 6-7, dropped to below zero, and now perhaps 3-4. Quite a rollercoaster.

Mine is between 0 and 1.

My SO started out as a 4 when I first came out to her, but has slowly diminished to about a 2. Still together though :battingeyelashes:

I think that if I dressed 'as a woman' my wife would be a 0 but since I'm totally a 'man-in-a-dress' she is probably a 7.5.

I’d say my wife on a scale of 1 to 10 is about 1.5. Which is better than I First came out to here. She was at least a negative -11

Probably about 5 or 6. I know from past comments and conversations she does not like what I’m doing (mostly MIAD)but she certainly does tolerate it. Although sometimes when I’m headed out the door I get quite the evil eye from her.

Zero, and it's unlikely to change. :sad:

Full and encouraging acceptance. She is awesome!!!!!

at first it was about a 2 and over time it has gone as high as maybe a 6 or 7 but right now i would say about a 3.5

To dressing it?s probably only 2, to sleeping in silk nightgown 6-7. She is happy with the being able to express a need for soft ?girly? items but not being a girl.

To answer the question of my wife's acceptance level, I start by using part of a Churchill quote, "women are a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma".

From my day of coming out, things have progressed for the most part in my favour. I would say that anything that would fit into the category of under dressing has been in the 9 or 10 range, with one exception. My wife has always had difficulty with me wearing a bra. This has fluctuated between a 4 and an 8 several times over the years. So I will say that this is one of the tolerate items that I have to be careful about. She doesn't even like to see bra straps under my shirts. When it comes to skirts and hosiery she has only ever commented nicely about how nice my legs look. I never go out in a skirt, but hosiery is almost an always in the winter, but who sees what's under my jeans and shirt! Bedroom and sleep apparel has always been my free choice, so that is a big 10+ rating.

I have just come to accept that there are some things that she can stumble over, so I don't push my luck.

21 years ago at Woodstock 99 told my then girl friend l like to wear panties. Laying in a tent she took hers off and said hear put these on. Got married in August 99

I had to first come out to myself, having done that in late 2014. After about 4 months building the courage, I told my wife. She has been a steadfast 10 and remains there. I put my own rules in places so as to never take that acceptance for granted and abuse the gift she has given me. I stick to those rules every day. I know I am in the minority on this one. We all have gifts and this just happens to me mine.

Probably a 5 or 6 here. She knows I dress, doesn't have an issue with it. I don't do it in front of her. She does buy me nail polish, and has given me some hand-me-down items she didn't want anymore. Knows not to throw out/donate any of her clothes before I have a chance to pick through them. :D

She accepted both sides. She dosn't care one bit. The only rule is she gets a man once and a while.

What is the acceptance level of your wife or SO? On a scale of 1-10?

Its a 10 and everything I wear to my persona...

Definately a 10 for me, my girlfriend (now) did not know I dressed originally but when she found out all was well and has remained so ever since

I don't go as far as most people here. But fir what I do, and depending on what activity it is, she ranges from 6/7 to 8/9/10. If I ever decided to try make up, that would probably be lower. But you never know.

5-6 but I didn't show her my femmine side yet. We have just a short view of my clothing.

Somewhere between 4-6. There's parts that don't bother her at all, and other parts that drive her nuts. She doesn't seem to bothered by my interest in fashion/makeup and sometimes enjoys having someone to talk to about it. She likes the idea of costumes and dressing up so that's good. She doesn't like the implication that I would prefer to be a woman, which is something I don't really push. She really doesn't like the fear of being "found out" and considered an accomplice.

Mine is a 0-2, she is deeply troubled by it and struggles with the subterfuge of it over the years, she feels it is a real breach of trust. However she told me that i didn't need to throw everything away and accepts that I have to work through the feelings so i understand them.

Basically the situation is very confused, so I have only dressed once since she confronted me about it in March amd not sure what the future holds

First it was a 5, then to a 3, then up to a 7, now its a 10+ to the point encouraging me to shop with her dressed.

Gosh this is sooo difficult to call....my wife hates the fact I want to be a woman but we have worked out a 50 / 50 split of time and when I present outwardly as female she just gets on with it...she does get me female thing occasionally but clearly would prefer not too...but the truth is we have a great relationship if I stick to my 50%
So I guess a 5-6 maybe even a 6.5..lol

Mine went from a very uneasy 7'ish to a 0 and now is a solid 8. It has been a journey, and I will not be with my wife as a women but that is okay. She gets that I am happy in our marriage, find her very attractive but I am a crossdresser and very much enjoy my feminine side. My wife has made it clear she does not find me sexually attractive in women's lingerie, but also understands why I enjoy those clothes. The things I have learned since coming out to my wife 20+ years ago is everyone's journey is different and if you want to stay married there are boundaries that are created jointly that need to be respected. The major thing that has changed in my relationship is my wife began to understand me more and I began to understand her more...and it is working, for now and who knows what tomorrow will bring but I will worry about it when it comes

My wife has been fully accepting so far so 9-10. I think she?d question wigs/makeup but I?ve already told her I?ve never had an interest in going that direction. When I told her ?this(CDing) is something I have to do? and ?it feels right? she became very supportive.

I find it very interesting that many have stated that they started at a mid level, then regressed to a lower level, and then possibly progressed to a higher level later.

I think what is happening there is that the SO may not be too sure at onset, so provides a limited tacit approval. "Well it's just an exploration, it doesn't mean much, and will soon be gone"

After seeing it NOT disappear, but rather build, they react with a counter view. "Oh no, that is not an acceptable manly expression. That is not what I want"

Eventually, for some, it then turns to a realization that this is not an aggression toward them, and maybe it's not that bad, and that they still love this person.

I would say that is my situation. Maybe a 2 to start, up to a three, back down to a 1 or less, back up to 3 and now at a 4. While I dream of a 10, I don't know if I'll get past 4. I'm hoping that I can get to a solid 7 one day.

She did buy me earrings for Valentine's day, but they are definitely not overly feminine style. Well maybe the pearl studs are a little girly ;)

Happy for those of you who are still together. Me? Ex tried to understand, but turned mean when she decided that I was never 'the man she wanted'. Was then a clear zero, turning into a -10, even blackmailed me over it to take all our assets in the divorce; that was 22 years ago. Since then, all women I've dated, have been a zero. Current GF was over for movie night, she's a Patrick Swayze fan, so we watched Road house. I suggested Wong Fu next, and she said, 'You mean that one where he's a fag?'. Dead stop. Tried to explain about 'them', and she's having none of it. So looks like this has no long term possibilities, either.
Still in the closet, now, and I don't see this changing any time soon.
I know the odds are bleak, but I'm going to keep trying. Really no other option.

What I get a kick out of is the acceptance comes or goes selectably.

I told this story before, but I was sitting with my wife, fully dressed, dress, heels, stockings and garter belt, bra, overly large 40H boobs and all, and she noticed I was wearing a cheap pearl necklace and went ballistic! I remember grabbing my boobs and saying to her, "I am wearing these, and a $3 necklace sets you off?" She calmed down, and realized how silly it sounded, and had the "talk" again.

I am blessed that my wife is a 9-1/2.
I say that because her only "restriction" is No hormones and No implants.
I can live with that so I am free to be me whenever I desire, which is much of the time, and wear what I prefer.

Of course it wasn't always that way. When she first discovered my secret she was a 1, willing to talk and listen, but not very open to the idea of her husband wishing to dress and present as a woman. Over time and many tears and talks she became a 3 and open to the idea of attending a support group. The people there helped her understand and now we are at 9-1/2.

I feel so very lucky.

I would say my wife is about a 6 or 7, accepting and supportive to a large degree, but not really encouraging.

It's hard to judge. My wife has made it clear she wishes I didn't have this need and she would be over the moon if it just suddenly went away. But she understands I have this need. I'm allowed to be dressed around her. But things like wigs and makeup are solidly off the table. For now, anyway. I would have to put her at an acceptance of 6-7.

My wife and I are at the DADT stage but, I would but it at 2.

Told my GF in January. She is doing well, I?d say a 7. Just got totally dressed for first time with a transformation package. She has seen the pictures. She thinks I picked a look that was too old, so if she is willing to give feedback that?s s good indicator of the future I think.

I am at an early stage, since I have only worn lingerie with her. But I feel very happy because that is the level were we both feel confortable. I feel the urge of dressing but I am not into make up and wigs.

Perhaps someone should take the time to develop a descriptive list for the 1-10. Perhaps it already exist somewhere on here. I?m so new to being out to my GF that I don?t think I have the expertise needed. It might be a good thing for the girls who are new to sharing with their SO. If for instance they were at stage three they could look at the stage four description as a goal or at least guidance, and so on and so fourth

Roberta, Pretty simple, 10 would be your wife or SO is over the top with acceptance and encourages you to cross dress.
A 5 would be a middle of the road attitude, no encouragement but is ok with things, maybe you can go out dressed or maybe not according to her mood.
Now when we get down to the 1-2 area the wife or SO barely tolerates you with this cross dressing thing and you are on thin ice most of the time.
We have had some members with a 0 or even a minus #, you can use your imagination for those.
When you get to 10 posts and things open up for you on the forum feel free to pm me and I will try and explain more.

My wife and I have started shopping together, for shoes and dresses. We did buy some high heels for both of us a few weeks ago, but no dresses, but we have looked while shopping. She told me she enjoys having a shopping buddy!

I would say on your scale of 1 to 10, she would score 50+ as she could not be more supportive. We've been together for well over 30 years and I told her way back then. Yes, I know how lucky I am.

I would say 10. Actually, she's sometimes the one telling me not making a big deal about my crossdressing.
I told my SO 1,5 years ago. The first time, I dress in front of her (makeup, wig, dress, jewelry, everything), it was a little bit weird, we were both a little bit uncomfortable.
But I think seeing the whole process, reassure her as she saw all the work and the creativity involved.

Now, she's fully comfortable. When I shopping online I ask for her advice on the future look I won't to try.
She gives me advice on makeup. I have full access to her closets and she has to mine.
Now, when I have some items she likes, I just give them to her since I only use them a few times a month. The other day, she was dressing with some new clothes she bought and I said to her "I have exactly the right bracelet matching the color of your top". I went to my closet and gave it to her. Now, this bracelet is in her closet and she regularly wears it ;).
In fact, we're now both very happy when one borrows the other's items since it means that we like our respective styles.

I think seeing that crossdressing is not my priority and do not jeopardize anything reassure her too. It's just something I do when I have some time to allow to myself when everything have been taking care of.

On a scale of 0-10 I would put my wife at about a 5. We have a mostly DADT relationship. She knows that I have a drawer full of lingerie so she doesn't ever open my dresser drawers. She sees my panties and nighties on the laundry basket in our closet but I wash them myself. I try to stay under the radar as much as I can but if she happens to see some of my clothes its not a big deal either. My crossdressing is pretty much limited to underdressing. She knows that. We see the occasional crossdresser out in public and comment on it but she knows that I am not interested in going to that extreme. Lately I have been pushing the limits on sleeping in my nighties. At the age of 67 I've kind of decided if not now, then when. So far she hasn't really said anything. She doesn't see me wearing them. I don't really want her to. Truth is, I look ridiculous and I would rather not be seen. I just enjoy sleeping in them, with matching panties of course. Its a delicate balance but we seem to manage it.

I wear my garter and Brassieres with breast forms in Bed with my Wife, so I think she is way beyond accepting me and lately she is watching Drag shows, so far so good, I sometimes wear my Brassiere and Breastformstore out shopping with her. Wisconsin Girl is just awesome. My roots are Indian from Guyana.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Victoria1

Truth is, I look ridiculous and I would rather not be seen..

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I think the same thing about me In lingerie. I look better as a man than in lingerie. Oh well. I still like wearing lingerie and can understand why it doesn't do anything for my wife. I still get camis panties pantyhose and fishnets and thigh highs in bed and look sexy in those. Lol

I would say a 3 or a 4. She wouldn’t prefer it was not there...but understands that I need this and it is a part of who I am. I have had her buy makeup for me on a couple of occasions. I can tell that it annoys her, so I haven’t asked in awhile. A couple of years ago she helped me do some shopping when we were traveling. For me it was heaven. She helped pick out a top with a new bra and several pairs of panties. We actually went to two different stores at her suggestion. That at least gives me hope that it could happen again.

Probably an 8-9. Her biggest hang up is the money on spend on it.

UggH. My wife has wash my panties and put them in my draw. What level is that? We have a DSDS relationship.

Therefore maybe a 2?....

On a scale of 1 to 10? 100 I told her about my dressing while we were dating and she had no problem with it - questions, but no problems. She is very supportive and encourages me to be me - always has.

If negative numbers were part of a survey, that's where my wife would be. She thinks the whole idea is creepy. And I'm very much in the closet.