Times are changing. The number of boys that were dressed as princesses in my grandsons elementary school Halloween parade, yesterday, was impressive.
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Times are changing. The number of boys that were dressed as princesses in my grandsons elementary school Halloween parade, yesterday, was impressive.
I agree with Karren. Gender roles in young people are not as defined as they used to be. It's ok for boys and girls to "blur the lines", including Halloween costumes.
Yes, gender roles are not what they used to be. But that doesn't mean every child that wears a princess dress is trans or needs alternative pronouns.
Exactly, totally agree Charlotte.
There was something Quksilver420 said in post #18 that made me think about this a bit more:
Quksilver, I don't mean to put you on the spot, but can you elaborate on this a little perhaps?Quote:
.... Also that his reasoning and mine are very similar. I still have a hard time with myself.
In my first response I was quick to suggest to not overreact to this, and I still stand by that. But of course, any good parent should support their child no matter what (wishful thinking, I know), so if there is a deeper concern here, then you need to be careful how you deal with it.
This particular situation is also complicated by the fact that your wife has such a strong negative opinion about it when it comes to your own crossdressing, and I can certainly understand how that makes it difficult for you.
It is possible your wife will react completely different towards your son, and it is possible she will be more willing to learn more about what this is all about, which could make it easier for you two to talk about your situation, but it is hard to say.
True, but they have an easier right to choose if the decide to.Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlotteCD
I think this is quite impressiveQuote:
Originally Posted by Karren H
I have to agree with Sherry on this. Offer your support and understanding. Tell him you are available to talk with him anytime he wants; but, do not insist he talks with you. Make sure he knows you love him and what he prefers to wear in no way affects that fact of life.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
The best thing that you can do is to take your son shopping for girl clothes. It will be a great bonding experience. You could both dress and enjoy being girls.
Sorry Jamie. That just sounds like a selfish approach maybe best suited as a possibility later on down the road.
I do like Doc's observance that the males around the 14 yo are in that rowdy bullying stage. His environment also includes immature mean girls.
So, there needs to be an acceptance and awareness stance from the parents. How about an assurance that, even if they don't condone the behaviour,
they won't be going through his stuff or be trying to catch him in the act.
I think this is a really good advice. I totally agree, based on my personal experience.Quote:
Originally Posted by mbmeen12
However the previous pages say that talking about pronouns and STDs are totally irrelevant at this stage.
I accidentally deleted my previous reply so I'll write a shorter one!
My parents never discussed emotions or awkward things in front of my brother or I. They never to my recollection showed feelings for each other, apart from arguing from time-to-time. In my teens I stumbled across my father's (who I had on a pedestal) bra and a p*rn mag. It shook my innocent world - I didn't know how to process that my father wasn't 100% as I imagined it - I'd never seen a twinkle in his eye or anything other than 100% "normal". It was later confirmed (in my 40's) when I was clearing out his shed after he passed. Was he having an affair? Were they a gift for my mum? Were they for him? I suspect this incident was a catalyst for my own crossdressing.
My point is that you may like to consider being honest with your son as the "loved one" your wife mentions. Very difficult, but the question will likely burn away in him - he will probably line up all the "loved ones" your wife knows. It's toxic. Once it's broached you can both have mature conversations about it and you can explain your perspective, the pros and the cons. Being in a vacuum with nobody to talk to is a very lonely place to be - as most of us here can probably testify.
I'm not suggesting you encourage or discourage him, just suggesting you have the conversation.
Good luck!
I don't think you should leave this entirely up to your wife. You know more about CDing that she does. It would seem that you have a better understanding of what he is feeling.
Perhaps, both of you should talk to him so he can get a full perspective from a CDer's viewpoint and the CDer's wife's viewpoint.
If a father is going to get into a conversation with his teenage son two points have to be addressed; self acceptance and dealing with society. How long did it take for any of us to accept ourselves; assuming you have, and, dealing with the problem of acceptance by others. Yes, high school with its social media bullying can be brutal. If a son is in a period of self-exploration he should be encouraged to express himself in the privacy of his home; whether in his private space or the communal areas. I have to assume he has access to the internet where there are confusing messages. There are tasteful websites that may help him realize "he is not alone." He may have already found this site.