For me it was an accident
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For me it was an accident
I?ve told my story several times but I enjoy telling it so here goes. I started at age 3 when I begged my mother to paint my fingernails red. I showed the other kids in the neighborhood and they told me that only girls wore nail polish. I didn?t care. I asked my mother if I could wear perfume, and she showed me how to apply it. I secretly started borrowing her clothes and wearing them. I continued wearing nail polish. My mother was out socializing with friends a lot and my father was only home on weekends. I was left home to baby sit my younger siblings. I would put them to bed and use the remaining time for dressing up. By the time I was in 6th or 7th grade I was fully dressing with bra, panties, full slip and a dress. I got caught with my mother?s clothes a couple times during this period. I made lame excuses that were probably not believed. I think that my parents knew but were too embarrassed to say anything. I found my father?s stash of feminine undergarments once. That?s probably the reason he never talked to me about it. When I was a junior in high school I decided to give up the girl stuff and learn to be just like the other boys. This was pretty much a disaster but I don?t want to go into that here. I promised myself that I would never even think about female clothing ever again. I stopped dressing, but never stopped thinking about it. I looked at catalogs and fantasized a lot. I finally couldn?t stand it anymore. I accepted that I was a crossdresser, and started dressing again. I?ve never been happier.
I think, in my case, everything started with an unconscious desperate attempts to clarify my real gender identification. As a toddler, I had a very pleasant and satisfying dream, so good that I still remember it. I was a naked female in high-heels publicly on a stage... Next, when I was less than twenty, I was lying down on a coach one day and came to a clear conclusion that I would have been much more satisfied if had been born as a girl. This idea is still with me all the time.
i was about 8 or ten i traded clothes with my sister at a movie house ill never forget that feeling of coming down the stairs. i felt like a queen, i felt like the prettiest girl there
It all started with a little girl named Lana! She was flipping her white dress over her head and giggling! I wanted a dress! And so it began...
Hugs Lana Mae
hello Richard,
when I was young I wanted to dress like my hero Robin Hood so I tried on a pair of my sister's tights...
Luv J
I don’t know. Since I was 10 or 11 I wanted to wear women’s underwear. Not having any sisters I tried on my mom’s bra and just knew. By the time I was 14 had some of my own panties that I liberated from a store.
It started at age five when I saw the sister of a friend all dolled up. This was in a long gone time and place when mothers dressed their little girls is frills, ribbons, and bows. I wanted to look that good. I investigated the possibility but I did not like the answers, also products of the same long gone time and place. Nonetheless, I found fleeting occasions to dress, such as Halloween and after work. I worked as a janitor in a small church with a clothes lending closet.
4 or 5. My sister's petticoat called to me. I had to see how it would feel to wear something like that. Later, mom's slips. Over 60 years later I have a large collection of my own.
Innocent curiosity..
When I was about 4 all the kids in the street were boys. I don't think I'd ever seen a girl.
Then a new family moved into the street and they had a daughter. When I first saw her I was in awe. She was wearing a pretty dress and I wished I could be like her.
Shortly afterwards my sister was born and several years later I tried on some of her panties, and I was hooked. As we grew up into our teens, there were a few of her skirts and dresses that fit me and I wore them regularly (without her knowledge).
I used to do a newspaper delivery route. On Sundays the papers were big and heavy so I used to use a closed cart to carry them. One Sunday, one of my customers had put out a large bag of clothes for goodwill. Knowing the family had 3 daughters around my age - one of whom I knew at school. I figured that there might be something of interest in there. As you can guess, the bag ended up in my cart and I finished my deliveries wondering what was in there.
As this was very early morning, I got home before the rest of the family had got up and I was able to get the bag up to my room.
I wasn't disappointed. All the clothes were teenage girl's including dresses, tops, a bright yellow swimming costume, and a couple of bras. Most of them fit me quite well so I wore them as often as I could.
Apologies to the goodwill people, but the clothes did go to a good home (in my opinion).
When I was about 4, I asked my Mom if I'd be like her when I grow up. She said no, boys grow up as men, not women. I was disappointed, since I wanted to look like her, not like a man. I don't know if I thought about that any more. Maybe I was satisfied with my fate. I know I didn't want to be like my sisters though.
When I was 9 or 10 I was in a 4H play, a comedy about a sort of hillbilly wedding. My sister was the best man and I was the maid of honor. The 4H leader had a nice looking fancy dark green satin-like dress she let me borrow. It felt like heaven. I got to practice once or twice for the play and then actually be in it. The following year I made up a play myself in which I played a lady in a fine dress walking in the park past 2 men sitting on a park bench. One was a gentleman in a suit reading the paper. The other was a bum. I dropped my hanky for the gentleman, but he didn't notice. Instead, the bum picked it up and loudly blew his nose with it.
Around that time, my sister had a short green dress like a girlscout dress. One day I took it from her closet and put it on once or twice in the bathroom. Instead of putting it back in her closet, I stashed it under the upper bunk bed. One day Mom found it and when we got home from school she showed it to my sister and both of them then confronted me in my bedroom, Mom asking sternly why did you put her dress under the upper bunkbed. Somehow I quickly thought to say I wanted to see how long before she would notice it was missing. They were satisfied with that answer and didn't say any more about it. That made me very nervous.
I would say you were very lucky. I bet there are a lot more lucky girls these days than back in the 50s and 60s.
So long ago now. I used to dream about being a girl from my earliest memories. I have only sisters and female cousins to relate to. I was always the only boy from my earliest years. We played together as a group of young people. I was simply one of the group. Never really realised I was not just one of the girls until junior school. By then it was too late. Being a girl was simply more fun. Alas my parents and society at that time didn't think the same, so it all went underground. Did me a favour in a way. I know now that I am just a man that was conditioned through fun and circumstance, to enjoy being a women. As a teenaged that was very confusing and I think some modern male tenagers transition when they should actualy stick it out and would enjoy later life more as crossdressing males. But we can each only deal with what we see in front of us.
We had a female centric house when I was growing up. 3 older sisters, pretty domineering. I loved them and still do. I wanted to be one of them.
It was in my teenage years. Of course, I'm beginning to discover who I am during these years. My grandma was watching some old time movies with women in these beautiful southern belle dresses (not sure if it was Gone With The Wind or some other movie when it happened... I do know that my grandma had GWTW on tape and I would watch the first hour or so just to see the dresses) and something clicked inside me saying that I want to wear something like that. Of course, I started looking things up on the internet and discovered cross dressing. Eventually, during Halloween one year... I got the courage to by a female costume and a wig at a K-Mart. Was a poodle skirt outfit.
It was about a year or two later that I got the courage to ask my grandpa about ordering a "halloween costume" online. Of course, it was going to be my first southern belle dress. Wasn't as spectacular as the ones I wear these days, but it was something. Wearing that and spending alone at home times diving into my grandma's clothes closet led me into crossdressing. Of course, they never found out about it as I was pretty good at hiding it. When I moved away, I closeted everything up for a few years. Left everything behind and started a new life. Many years later, I got back into it and I started to get some better stuff to wear.
I grew up in a mostly male household except for my mother (who ran a pretty tight ship). I had two brothers, no sisters and no close female relatives.
When I was about 11 and beginning to notice girls I turned to the only source of visual stimulation I could find in the house, the lingerie sections of the Sears and JC Penney catalogs (This was on the pre-internet days). After a while I realized that I was just as fascinated with what the models were wearing as I was with the models themselves. I wanted to wear what they were wearing. I wanted to look like them. I wanted to be them. I vividly remember wishing when I went to sleep at night that I would wake up in the morning and be a girl.
I still do.
Around age 12/13 my mother used me as a dress dummy for sewing and alterations which I hated at first. Then when I started wearing some undergarments to make things fit better I went head over heels (no pun intended).
But then after I started showing too much interest in remaining in the girdle, bra etc. after the fitting was over, I got replaced buy a dress form from a second hand store. But by then I was hooked and never looked back.
I was about 14 years old or so... out of curiosity, tried on my mom's pantyhose. It felt so nice. Then graduated to my younger sisters panties and bras and have been hooked ever since. Something just feels so right. To this day, just to go about the house in my own fem underwear, breast forms filling out my bra and a simple dress.. I just feel normal.
I can't pinpoint my exact age, but I was around 11 or 12 the first time I put on one of my mom's bras. I loved wearing it. I also put on her slips. After age 15, I don't recall ever doing that again. I married at age 20. During a 17 year marriage, I put on my wife's pantyhose probably 5 or 6 times and that was it. Into my 2nd marriage, one day my wife told me (I was complaining about something) "to put on your big girl panties and deal with it." Two days later I purchased a 2 pack of big girl panties and I've been hooked ever since. That was slightly over 5 years ago. I turn 80 next month.
It started with a pair of pantyhose. I always was amazed at the sheerness of them, how they made women's legs and feet look amazing. I thought it was just a fetish, or preference, how they followed the leg and moved with them perfectly. One day I decided to try them on because I had to know how they felt to be worn and there has been no turning back since, I seriously think that if there were no pantyhose any more that I would never dress again. It all starts with them and it ends with them.
In my case a combination of things.
My mom wanted a daughter. I was supposed to be that daughter but disappointed her. She would always tell me that she did not cut my hair and people thought I was a girl.
When my father was passing, I took a photo of my daughter along with other family pictures to his bedside. He looked at his grand daughters picture and said that was me in a dress. I said no it's my daughter. He told me that no it was me and mom used to dress me as a girl but stopped it completely when I went to school.
While in elementary school and middle school I would wear my mom's girdles, dresses and skirts. I was hooked.
When my mom was passing and in memory care, she confirmed the story dad told me.
In one aspect I have not progressed very far. I am still wearing girdles after all these years.
I was young. Probably around 5 years old. It was a pair of nylon stockings that caught my eye. I had to put them one. Played with them for about a day then mom found them and they disappeared. Too late. I was hooked.
I was probably about 10 and stumbled upon some of my mom's old panties she had put in a rag bag in my closet in my upstairs bedroom. It was stuffed full of old washcloths, hand towels, pillowcases, etc. to use as rags. I reached in and felt them one time I was getting mom a rag and put it back in and grabbed a old hand towel. Feeling the panties caused a bit of an excitement, and feeling that nylon was super also. Later that night I reached in and noticed there were 8-10 pair of her panties neatly folded in the rag bag. Curiosity worked on me till that night and I knew I had to try them on. I took of my plain ole white underwear and slipped on her panties and i was so excited and looking back, I was hooked.
I would try them on whenever I had the chance to be alone and not be caught. Mom would have me help do laundry by taking her panties and bras into their bedroom and put them away. When I was home alone I would look around in my parents room and would find panties, bras, and pantyhose laying in a chair or over the ironing board. Her dresser seemed to have them in all the drawers and even found a couple of girdles. I would try them on about any time I would be home alone. I was worried she would be able to tell that they had been worn and even worried about the panties in the rag bag as they were the only items in it that were folded and stacked along the side.
Looking back the last few years at pictures of me when I was little, many of the pics look like the clothes I was wearing, they very likely may have been for a little girl. I have an idea that my mom may have very likely planned possibly on having a little girl and had many items of little girl clothing, but did it go a little further? Is it possible she put the panties in the rag bag for me to find? Did she leave her undies laying around and have me helping to possibly "encourage" me to explore those items. A couple years later I found one of her old, short nighties in the rag bag. Causing me to think that she actually knew I was trying her undies on and she was secretly helping me to do it. She never did catch me wearing her undies.
It's been about 50 years now and since I now am single, I have my own bra, panties and etc. and can enjoy wearing them almost all the time. Am I crazy to think that maybe she was maybe secretly encouraging me to try on her undies? If she were still alive, I would very likely ask her.
3 older sisters that were a knock out.
I was molested by someone who told me that god made a mistake, and that I was really supposed to be a girl. He presented reasons why, and, as I was only a little kid, I didn't have the mental capability to challenge what he told me, so I believed him. After all, since I already believed in Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and a god, what was one more weird thing to believe in? So he made me into his private little girlfriend, and that lasted until right before I started high school. By then, the damage was done; long term indoctrination can be very difficult to defeat, no matter how ridiculous it may be. So to this day, the concept that I was really supposed to be a girl remains in the back of my mind, no matter how much logic tells me that it's not true. So I always feel just a little uncomfortable when dressed as a male, and am only truly comfortable when dressed as a girl. I'm sort of stuck in a female mindset at about age 14, exactly around the time my abuser disappeared from my life. Forever waiting to become the girl I was supposed to be? (I didn't reach puberty until I was 17). I would continue to secretly try on my older sister's clothes whenever no one else was home. That was almost 50 years ago. So I was stuck, for life, with the desire to dress as a girl. Repressing the desire results in me becoming short tempered, irritable, having difficulty sleeping, and having a shortened attention span. Perhaps like a computer that bogs down when you ask it to do too many things at once, my mind simply cannot hold back the thoughts telling me that I'm a girl, so those thoughts come to the conscious level of my mind, and everything else gets pushed aside until I'm once again, able to push them into the subconscious.
Meantime, I sit here in my cheerleader's uniform, enjoying watching the game on TV, pretending I'm one of the pretty girls on the sidelines.
That was just like how I grew up. Sister, two stepsisters, dominant mother, and a stepfather who allowed the females to get away with what they wanted. Very female-centric.Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie5004
I was in competitive roller skating and my mom purchased a pair of white tights for me to wear under my outfit. When she put me in them, them felt great. They did not work the way she intended, so that was that, but I remember the feeling. Then it was off to mom's panties and the rest is history.
Started about 4 or 5 playing with the neighbors my age (all girls.
One day at a friends house she and i switched underwear and panties.
Mom had pink strapless bra probably from teen years Used rolled up newspaper for volume She had a brown sparkly dress with a side zipper Remember them? It progressed to girdle and big girl bra more later
I think I was about 10 or 11 when I first dressed. It was definitely my middle school years and this would have been in the late 80s.Wasn't something that I'd ever even considered prior to it happening but it clearly flicked a switch inside me and parts of it remain crystal clear to this day.
I was a member of the scouts and there was a fundraising event involving various troops from the county (this is in the UK). There was going to be all sorts going on throughout the day but on the evening there would be a big show with each troop contributing one or two performances. Anyway, some time prior my Mum asked what our troop was doing for the evening. I said how one of the leaders had written a play and we were going to perform that. Being an all male scout troop is was a predominantly male play but there were a couple of female roles. Mum started asking me what it was about and I forget how or why I even brought it up, but I clearly mentioned how no-one wanted to play the female parts, at which point she suggested why don't I do it? It had never crossed my mind to prior to her saying it and I wasn't too keen either, not to mention that I thought people would laugh at me. But she said something along the lines of how it would be fun, reassured me that it would be okay and that she'd help sorting the costume out. The role itself was of a mother in a family and I eventually agreed, although still wasn't thrilled about it. Fast forward and I get home from school one day and there was a bag full of clothes that Mum had collected from my two cousins, who were a few years older than me and who had sorted some things out that they thought would be suitable. She went through everything and picked an outfit, which just ended up being a knee-length dress, cardigan and some very low heeled shoes (photos exist!). I can still picture myself looking at myself in the mirror that first time I put the dress on and thinking I just looked silly. A couple of days later, I got back from school and Mum said something about wanting to have another look at me in the outfit. I didn't understand why at the time as she'd literally only seen me in it a few days ago. Turned out she'd been shopping and brought a bra (which she padded), some tights, a few accessories like a necklace and bracelet, had got a wig from somewhere, and wanted to see what I looked like with everything on. The thing I remember more than anything is her having to help me put on the tights and the feeling that very first time I wore them (they were a low denier tan/flesh coloured pair). There was at least one more outfit run through at home, as Mum wanted to try putting me in makeup, and by the time of the actual performance, I'd become much more comfortable with the clothes and the whole idea of it. Plus there had been a full dress rehearsal, so while I did get a few people laughing at me then, come the night a lot had people had already seen me dressed by that point. Also, as the photos show, when everything was put together, the clothes, the accessories, the wig, the makeup, I didn't look too bad!
Oh yeah, and the other female role, no-one else wanted to do it so one of my friend?s from the troops sister ended up playing it! So if I'd been a bit more reluctant or just said "No" they'd most likely have just gotten another girl to play the part I did.
When I was 7 my sister and I stayed with my grandparents for a few days. My mom forgot to pack extra underwear for me so my grandma handed me a pair of my sisters and said put these on and you?ll be fine.
I started with my mom’s pantyhose around age 5. I remember wearing pantyhose under my jeans to kindergarten. By the time I was 8 I was raiding my mom’s clothes on a regular basis. By the time I was 11 I was dressing fully minus makeup. I haven’t looked back since.
Hell of a story. Coincidentally it matches closely some archetypal CDer fantasies. Of course, coincidences happen sometimes.
Wow, there are some truly detailed and delightful stories. I feel a little intimidated but for me, it began when I was 5 and I felt so comfy in my mom?s heels! I wanted to be a girl from since I was 4. Being Olivia is always a release of the girl I wish I had the courage to be. If I didnt already have such a blessed family life, my time as Olivia would be 24/7. But, I love my family and know if they ever get to a point of acceptance, then I have a chance to live as I could be. Until then I will take the times I get to let myself become Olivia and feel my life as how I feel inside.
When i was about 19 in the house alone putting on my mums knickers and bra, then it grew from there.
Don?t really remember anything of note in my childhood although I was nerdy and introverted and never really part of the cool kids or athletic groups nor dated much in HS. Age 20-60 I very occasionally would sneak putting on my wife?s panties or bra as kind of an erotic rush but didn?t at that time have any strong desire to present as a female. Early-mid 60s, around two years ago, I very impulsively purchased a summer dress that for some reason I thought would look cute on me (shopping at Costco of all places). That rabbit hole proved to be deep indeed!! Within 6 months went from that single dress to pretty much a full hair to heels multi-suitcase ?wardrobe? (albeit Temu level of quality - lol). I pretty much dress feminine to varying degrees during all my private time now.
In my case it literally happened over night. I had been wearing pantyhose for years but one day I just woke up and told my ex I wanted to try makeup. That opened the floodgates.
We went shopping that same afternoon. I suddenly had lingerie, a dress, skirt, heels, makeup, purse, and every other item a woman would have in her wardrobe. She even taught me how to make boobs using rice and pantyhose.
It escalated so quickly. I went from only wanting to wear pantyhose to suddenly wanting to look and feel like a woman.
She later bought me a French Maid outfit.
She has since moved to another city and I no longer dress up. I purged everything but I still wear pantyhose every single day.
Hard to recall the exact start. When I was 5, and mom was expecting with my soon to be baby sister, we moved into a slightly larger house. It was still officially only two bedrooms, and initially her cradle went into my bedroom. But my parents swiftly relocated the laundry machines out of the basement laundry room and into a basement 'party room', and converted the former laundry room into a very nice bedroom for me. I had privacy, and my own 3/4 bathroom (toilet, sink and shower, no bathtub). It wasn't long before I took advantage of being very close to the laundry, where I could satisfy my curiosity about mom's clothes! Of course, nothing really fit, but I loved the feeling of her silky slips and half slips on my bare skin - particularly when still warm from the dryer! And being on my own in a basement room made it easy to 'borrow' some of mom's lipstick to try on myself! I'd seen her apply her makeup plenty of times, and got quite a thrill from seeing my own lips red like hers.
By age ten, I had a definite preference to play indoors with the neighborhood girls, rather than play rough and tumble games outside with the boys. I was very confused and hurt when my female friends parents insisted I was 'too old to play like that with their daughters'.
Growing up, the male role never quite felt right. I certainly was never very successful at dating, in high school. (Turns out I was needing a very different sort of relationship, with me in the feminine role, but I didn't figure that out for many years.)
In my 20's, I did what was expected of me, and married a nice girl. But though I agreed to a monogamous, straight relationship with her we both knew I was, at the very least, inherently bisexual. I just refused to explore it further than that.
As a young adult, I found myself increasingly attracted to assuming female roles in roleplaying games. And as those games became on-line play rather than friends around a gaming table, the other players, who had never seen me in person, were quite certain I was a cisgender girl. And I didn't want to correct them on that assumption.
However, I refrained from exploring my femininity in real life until I was in my early 50's. First with covert underdressing, and later, after my wife passed away, by going out publicly as a woman.
11 years after my first steps in public crossdressedcas a woman, my medical transition to fully female is now almost a year and a half behind me!
I started at around 4 or 5, there was this velvet dress I was just drawn to, I remember even at that young age, that boys weren't supposed to wear dresses, but, I just had to try it on, I got caught by my older sister who of course called my mom and other sister, I hid under the bed and took it off, and wouldn't come out, they teased me a little, but, not in a mean way. I remember feeling so embarrassed. It was never mentioned again and afaik they never told my Dad or two older brothers.I shared a room with my sisters until my early teens - not sure why I didn't share a room with my 2 brothers as they had a bigger room- I didn't really dress up again until my teens, I had access to all my sisters clothes, so any chance I'd get I'd try something belonging to them. I even got to try on both of their wedding dresses. In my teens I often fantasised about waking up as a girl getting to wear all the cute outfits that I saw on girls my age, while other boys would stare at girls to ogle them I'd be looking at their outfits and wishing I could wear them. I never got caught again after the first time as I was extremely careful to only dress up when I knew no one else was around and was very careful to make sure I didn't damage the clothes and left everything back as I got them.
You had a wonderful Mom who encourage you into becoming the girl that you are today. You should be very thankful.Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardTO
I know I have already replied to the OP prompt but I wanted to stop by and say how grateful I am to have found this forum so long ago. I know I don?t post much (DADT marriage here). But having this place to come and read stories and ask real deep or even surface level questions is awesome! I love having a soace to speak as Olivia and wanted to say thanks to everyone who shares here, it means more than you know to some of us who have to hide all the time.
XOxOlivia