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Its part of me. My crossdressing started long before the internet and I did everything without any knowledge of other crossdreesers.
I really enjoy and get excited about buying clothes and underwear. I love dressing up and making up - women have so much more choice!
Its a curse because I have to hide it for all but this forum.
Fran.
For me, it's both a curse and a blessing.
Dressing provides a wonderful mixture of an incredible high as well as a kind of peace I don't often feel in male mode. I love the way I look and feel when dressed.
Still, it's caused lots of difficulties in my marriage and life would probably be easier without it. It was also very difficult to accept myself for many years. I can say that society is wrong to be so judgemental about us, but that still doesn't make society any more reasonable. I've always wondered how my friends would react if they knew about Linda and I think I've always kept a part of my self hidden because of that.
One other thing: although not strictly related to the topic or the poll, I think my getting older (I'm 53) has started to color my feelings about crossdressing. I know there are many out there who have aged gracefully and have come into a better understanding and acceptance of themselves as they've aged. For me, aging mostly represents a loss of youth and a loss of any chance to look good as a woman. In my 20s, I wasn't totally passable but I think I looked pretty good. Now, I know I look kind of old and big and fat and I don't think things are going to get better.
I don't think the appearance thing bothers me so much as a man. I've come to accept that if young women engage me in conversation, it's because I remind them of a kindly older uncle. I miss being able to flirt a little with women, but that just doesn't seem to happen much these days. I miss it but I'm mostly ok with it.
The loss of being attractive as I age bothers me much more as a crossdresser.
Maybe tomorrow, my crossdressing will feel more like a blessing but tonight, it feels like more of a curse.
When I was young and thought I was the only child who did this, it was a curse. When I was a young adult trying to live without dressing, it was a curse. After I found that I am not alone and have accepted that I am a woman inside, it is a blessing.
Is your own life a curse or a blessing? If you see your life as a blessing I bet you would see cding as a blessing as well.
We can make anything a blessing if we choose to look at that way.
Crazy huh? but seems to be true
Dressing and femininity is the lacy, puffy filling to the great big hole that has always been in me :D
It has given me a greater appreciation of women and what they go through but at the same time it has been a curse in that I haven't been able to share this with anyone close to me (in fear of their reaction).
Rita,
As you question is asked in the present tense I have to say that it is a blessing.
I am more comfortable, less stressed, happier, more outgoing.... by crossdressing and being my genderfull self.
But it has not been without a major struggle, more for our relationship than for myself. That was a long hard road and sometimes I wished it never existed. But we did get past that and are in a more profund state now than ever before, so in the long term it is a good thing.
.... always been a curse .. as I'd wish to be "normal" sometimes...