My wife says she's supportive of my need to dress, but I only dress in front of her when she says it's OK, so as not to ruin a good thing.
Printable View
My wife says she's supportive of my need to dress, but I only dress in front of her when she says it's OK, so as not to ruin a good thing.
I picked "Generally Accepting"
She says I can do it whenever I want. Unfortunately, I only get a chance to dress a short while once a week or so, behind the bedroom door. (kids around). She does not participate. Occasionally we share an easy joke about it. She's not repulsed by me when I am dressed, but she doesn't look at me very much. I'm careful not to turn it into an inconvenience for her. She doesn't mind when I look at stuff for me when we're shopping.
Sodapop
Early on I told my girl friend and she put this big grin on her face as said: I know how to have fun with this. I am blessed.
I would say tolarates it, but "I don't want to know it if you are wearing intimate apparel" and "I will say I don't know you if you have to go to the ER". Although they often fit, she is very assertive about what are her clothes and what's mine. Although I have "borrowed" a few things (like the bra I'm wearing now), I would call her wardrobe masculine - no everyday skirts or slips and she wears dressesm skirts, slips, bras and pantyhose only when she "has too". It appears that she doesn't want to dress like a girl; but I do!
My S/O is very supportive and accepting.What a great friend she has been for me and she never says anything that would make our lives crumble.:hugs:
Thanks again everyone for your responses. :hugs:
As with Jenny Logan's situation, my wife was more upset about the secrecy thingy than the actual dressing... though that ( understandably) took a lil time to come to terms with as well. :o
I hope that the response to this poll will give some hope to our sisters here who have not come out yet, or are still struggling with this issue in their marriages.
Bet wishes, and good luck to you all.
Love,
Tammi
p.s. Klup, I'm so sorry to hear of your situation... that's just awful!!!! :( Granted, the only thing I know about your relationship is this little bit you posted, but your status quo - and the destruction of the clothes thingy - sound wholly unacceptable to me. :thumbsdn::thumbsdn: I don't know if you've tried counselling together, or maybe you're cool with agreeeing to disagree, but I don't know how you let things continue like this. :strugglin If you're interested, post a new thread about your situation, and maybe get some feedback that may be helpful. In any case, take care and good luck. :hugs:
She knows I like it and doesn't mind playing around a bit. I don't know if it would go out of the bedroom or further than some lingere. we'll keep trying
When my wife first discovered my secret, she was quite shocked, to say the least. Several days of tension and lots of questions followed, then nothing. She knows, but has not participated. Maybe someday................
Terrilynn
Sally, you are so lucky. I have been told that you make your own luck. I am struggling with how, when and if I will tell my wife. Will I be lucky?
Debora Jane,
I have found out throughout the years that my dressing surfaces at stime of stress, like holidays. Getting to dress and enjoy the time is cathartic, not being able to is frightful.
Tammi, I voted Accepting and supportive, God bless her . My wife has know about my cross dressing since before we got married. We've been together 40+ years now and are still learning, adjusting, compromising with the whole CD experience .
If I could stop CDing and still be the same person would she be happy? Yes
Would she ever ask or try to force me to stop ? Never!
She's always been there for me and for my part I know she needs to have her guy around too. Like I said 40+ years and still a work in progress, but we've never been happier. :happy:
i have been very blessed in that reguard she is also susie's best friend and there is also some boundries that i stick to :hugs:
susie
Wonderfull new BBW girlfriend accepts me, we go shopping together.... I am SO happy, and hey.... She borrows MY clothes !!
God bless you Helen ! :love:
I'm in the "Tolerates - don't ask/don't tell" category. This is unlikey to improve since she refuses to sit down and discuss it.
My wife actually got me into my first dress, she started it all for me.
Very Unaccepting, it's so sad..
NaomiLynn
My dear late wife was in the very accepting and supportive group. As many of you already know, I told her before we were married. She was so acceptive that we wore matching white silk lingerie at our wedding, and on our wedding night. Well, that part did not stay on long!
The only rule she had was that I could not dress openly when our two children were around. When they got on their own, everything went. We used to shop together and go out to eat as two girls. I had that beautiful, loving girl as my bride for almost 50 years before I lost her in 2005. And yes, I still do miss her!
Sissy
More Girl than man sometimes
Accepting and supportive, God bless her (him)
now if this poll was in the gg section what do you think the responce would be ??
well my wife was not accepting at all thats why she is my ex
My wife has always been supportive
I made sure to tell my wife before we were married. To me that was just a huge lie that I would not be able to keep up. I'm not sure if I wouldnt have married her if she had not accepted but I honestly dont think that our marriage would be as strong as it is.
My wife is about 98% OK with it :hugs:
Angie
Unsporting but won't demand I stop. Just worries about what others would say if they knew. She won't talk about unless she gets upset. Then she's totally unreasonable. I guess I'm lucky that she's still here. It's would much easier on her if she would just talk, and realize that this is not going away.
My wife is 100% OK with it and is my biggest ally and supporter. She helps me shop, gives me makeup tips and even picks up things for me at the store that she thinks I might like. When I recently came out to my kids (ages 25 & 30) she was by my side with her story about how we were a team with this. When I decided to go out in public for the first time, she made sure everything was as good as it could be and then walked along side me with her head held high. I couldn't ask for a better partner! :love:
You are lucky, Suzie. Does she have a sister?
I have dress since we were married and the wife doesn't think about it one way or the other. She tells me I'm still her man no matter what cloths I'm wearing. Now she always tell me to dress and act like a proper lady not a teenie bopper or a tramp.:hugs:
Mine actually prefers me en-femme, & gets grumpy if I don't dress almost daily. :mad:
Weird but true!
Veronica
I dont know how it works my curent GF knew abought my crossdressing before we got togeather.She was a friend of my ex wife or at least an aquaintance and my ex outed me to everyone.I told my ex before we got married and she was very suportive for the first few years of our marriage but as time went on she decided she could not deal with the fem me.My curent GF knows but does not want to see me dressed she likes the hard biker guy that i am.Could go on and on but WHY!
Thankfully mine is supportive , but I think she,s a little wary , as she saw an adult movie of mine ( t- girls ) left in the dvd player by accident .
I am blessed with a patient and loving wife. My only wish is that I,d come out to her sooner......
My girlfriend Nikki is 100% accepting and supportive.My girlfriend likes my femme side,she feels my femme side is very caring,soft and feminine,She love shopping with me and I am one of best friends in her life.She always tells me that I am beautiful and calls me Gretchen when I am dressed as my femme side.
last night she says I bought this makeup and don't like it you try it and see if you do. About fainted but got over it quickly (wanted to grab it out of her hands) but gave her a kiss and told her how great she is. I'ts a little light but I will cherish it just because she thought of me, Major hurdle I think
Darla
My wife is accepting and supportive. I shared the big "SECRET" with her before we became seriously involved. It's who I am. Neither of us understand the reason for Crossdressing. I have my own theorys. She knew this part of me was permanent and came with the package. I may sound insensitive when I say that if someone doesn't accept a person for who they are, well prehaps it is not a good matchup. I have wasted to many years worrying about other folks opinions. L
Unaccepting wife/SO
Thanks, Tammy, for starting this poll. The results are so amazingly positive that they confirm my feeling that the risk and damage of hiding is greater than the danger of sharing.
My wife is very supportive and in fact has told me she likes Valerie more than my macho person, who tends to be assertive, arrogant and much too sharp, while Valerie, I think, is loving, sentimental and defers to her. What fun it has been to shop together and how much I like when she consults with me about an outfit! Not that the many earlier decades have not been good, but I suspect they would have been better had I had the courage to accept and affirm what I liked to be and do. Well, better late than never!
Valerie:GE:
I'm quite encouraged - moved up the scale from unaccepting to tolerant!
nitch
HI all,
I voted "haven't come out, but hope to". It would be unfair to charactorize my wife as "unaccepting". She knows and accepts that I wear womens panties, nearly daily. She doesn't like lace. For nearly a year, she has know that I occasionally wear pantyhose, but she has asked that I not do it in front of her, although, I think she may be coming around. I have not attempted her acceptance on my more extensive CDing, but I have hope.
I am envious, and made hopeful, by the multitude of respondents, that indicated varying levels of acceptance by their so's.
Jaydee
My lady is pretty cool about it. I would imagine she would have preferred for me to be a regular 'Husband', but she knows 'Sarah' is as much as part of my persona, as my male side.
Sarah R. :bunny:
VERY Supportive!!!
Rach
I am surprised by the results of the poll. About 62% fairly or quiet supportive. Hmmm. Its seems a little high from what I expected. Such might not be true in a completely random poll. Maybe a greater proportion of unsupportives in this sample are out of those relationships... I marked Don't Ask Don't Tell...but like others described, there are occasional points of light. I wonder how the results would look if the SO responded. Joni
:hugs:When I told my wife she did a lot of reading. We have talked for hours. We still have our days but for the most part everything is going good. Last weekend she ask if I wanted to go looking for a new wigand make up. I think she has been great and I could not get by with out her.
Rhonda
The poll indicates that most of our partners are at leaste aware of our crossdressing. So far, only about 30% of the members have SOs that do not know.
I think it is wonderful that most of our partners know.
They can't change their perception of crossdressing if they do not know we:love: crossdress.
Very supportive, She shops with me, and for me. Always remembers Tina for Christmas and Birthdays. If I have not dressed in a while and seem tense, she is the one that will tell me to go put on a dress.
The day I came out to her, I was scared of how she would take it, but to my surprize she got up and took me shopping. We bought dresses, under things, and shoes. All new (I had been a thrift store shopper up until then) it has been that way every since, for Thirty years. She used to be my wardrobe conultant, now I'm hers!
I feel very lucky to have found someone so understanding, I know it is not what she bargined for, but she took it with grace and compasion. I am one lucky gurl!
Tina B.
My partner tolerates me dressing up, when i first told her she was shocked and didn't want to even discuss it. Over time i dressed in front of her and she realises my femme-side is part of who i am, i am glad i told her, as there is no secrets between us, and i know she loves me for who i am. She has even used my make up, so it benefits her having a Cd for a partner.
I'm lovin the energizer bunniness of this thread.. it just keeps going and going!
I very much enjoy reading your responses and, like others, am quite pleasantly surprised at the numbers. While I do feel for our sisters who haven't been as fortunate in coming out, I feel this thread should be a source of hope to many others who are considerring it. The chances of having the dressing at least tolerated (my initial goal/hope, which has been exceeded btw) are quite good according to this poll @ 6.5 to 1 ! :)
As noted by Joni, this is obviously not very scientific poll, but given a) the abiltity of respondents to just vote in the poll anonymously, without posting, and b) the invitation to participate given to those who are or were in a relationship, I wouldn't expect the "real" numbers to be that terribly far off. Now I'm not a statistician, but I wouldn't mind pretending to be one... a cute one, with a rather short skirt, cute top and to-die-for heels...
:p
She was very supportive and we were best GF's and she knew throughout our 30 year marriage we wore matching nighties on our wedding night.
Unfortunatly She Passed away about 3 years and 4 months ago and ai mostly live and work as Annette now
Great poll
:hugs: Annette
My wife:hugs:has been the best!! After the inital 20 questions, it just keeps getting better. We shop with/for each other, she helps with make up tips--She's the best in the world!! I still know where the boundaries are and observe them to keep the balance.
To say Mrs.M is accepting and supportive is actually an understatement . I told Mrs.M just prior to our first date , that was 11 years ago . Mrs.M helps me in evry way she can and does buy for me and make suggestions and goes out with me , she has even given her approval for me to leagally change my name next year and said she would marry Viccy. I am sooooooooo lucky to have found such an incredable woman , a truely amazing soul mate. I love you Mrs.M :love:
She is accepting as long as we maintain our boundaries. I came out to her about ten years ago. At the time our marriage was having trouble, I was depressed and on Prozac. I decided that a little honesty wouldn't hurt. I was tired of suppressing my life long need to dress fem. In the beginning she wasn't happy but as time went on she noticed I was less depressed and no longer needed the drugs.
Last week she told me that my crossdressing cured my depression. (She is right.)
i'm not buying it, there;s not that many accepting ggs. if so where are they. an accepting gg is almost as mentally ill as us cds. truth hurts .
This is a very encouraging poll. You have to believe that the responders represent a wide crosssection of the CD community, and about 80% of our SOs are at least tolerant. If I had known this when I was younger, I might have come out to my own SO a whole lot sooner.
My wife is in the tolerates category. However, she is a very accepting, tolerate person in everything else. If any of her friends told her that their husband was a crossdresser she would be very supportive. Just not her husband.
Mercedes