Does it ever go away?

After reading all of these responses, I know why I go through fazes. When I have plenty of alone time, I get in the mood to dress and it's the pedal to the metal, so to speak. Then I go back to working and such and I really don't think about it unless it's in fantasy/dreaming mode. As much as I love to dress, I can't figure out why I do not have nightly dream about it. I usually have 3-4 a year and it's mostly getting caught in lingerie (Guilt I suppose). I have about 3 more weeks of alone time (work injury) and so I'm going to use the best of that alone time for dressing. I figure tomorrow I'll take that first step to apply some make-up. That ought to be interesting.:heehee:

I don't think it could ever go away! It's panties now every day underneath my drab, since my wife found out a month ago. I don't NOT think about dressing every single day since i started when i was 5 years old. Don't fight it, just enjoy your femininity!

I have tried to give up dressing but it didn't last to long. Just go with the flow.

Come on Kelsey, where is Way East? Japan? Hong Kong? IF way east US I have to say your pic gives me some confidence. It is very becoming. AND I'm about your age. After my check up tomorrow at the doctor's I'm going to shave and start to enjoy fem clothing for the first time this year.

Luv,
Michelle PJ

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Originally Posted by Michelle PJ

Come on Kelsey, where is Way East? Japan? Hong Kong? IF way east US

Luv,
Michelle PJ

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[SIZE="3"]Michelle

First it's USA Second you're going to have to get your feet wet:heehee:

Kelsy:happy:[/SIZE]

IF you're in the NYC area I would enjoy knowing so we can chat.

Luv,

Michelle PJ

no Jen it never goes away, in fact it only gets stronger. I know the emotional stress of wanting to tell your wife but afraid she'll freak out. I told my ex while I was dating her, she was repulsed by the thought of it. I told my second wife and she believed it would turn me gay. (IT DIDN'T). Since my wife died I have been enjoying dressing more than ever. Now I have a new so and I want to tell her but I'm afraid she'll run for the hills and not look back. I'm getting butterflies all over again. Jill

I remember before i told my wife, it was killing me. I had no idea what she was going to do. I know that she has a pretty open mind and just came straight out and told her. I dont think i will stop dressing enfemme, but thank God i no longer have to hide it. I am much more comfortable with myself, and my wife loves the benefits ( usually she gets new clothes too)

NO it never goes away I have gone without dressing for several years at a time but like the cat it keeps coming back. Embrace it join a group and if you never get out except to the group that is great Good luck

It never goes away.

for me no it does not go way and when i cant dress it makes me :Angry3:,

IMHO, purging is only symptomatic of denial.

For me, the desire to dress waxes and wanes. During the past week or so, I've dressed (at least a bit) almost every day, but in the two months previous, I think I dressed maybe two or three times in total.

I think some CDs manage to deny or "control" the urge to dress as well, but I don't think it ever goes away. This is a part of who we are, and I've come to accept that it is something that will always be with me.

Crystal

I agree with most, it never goes away.I too have tried, but no luck.You know what, that's ok now, I do what I can and dress when I can. Life is good,since I stop trying to stop.

From "5" to "70" its been a very constant companion to me. And seems like I'm enjoying it a lot more each day. And thats through 24 years military service and 50 years marriaage.

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Originally Posted by Jennifer Brooks

After reading all of these responses, I know why I go through fazes. When I have plenty of alone time, I get in the mood to dress and it's the pedal to the metal, so to speak. Then I go back to working and such and I really don't think about it unless it's in fantasy/dreaming mode. As much as I love to dress, I can't figure out why I do not have nightly dream about it. I usually have 3-4 a year and it's mostly getting caught in lingerie (Guilt I suppose). I have about 3 more weeks of alone time (work injury) and so I'm going to use the best of that alone time for dressing. I figure tomorrow I'll take that first step to apply some make-up. That ought to be interesting.:heehee:

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practice makes perfect, experiment with different colors and you will find the right look to make you the beautiful girl that you are:love:

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Originally Posted by Jennifer Brooks

The desire of Crossdressing. Does it ever go away for those that don't dress full-time? I dress when nobody is around and since I am back on the day shift again, (on vacation right now) I am home when everybody else is. It's very tough to get any time in to dress and feel great/pretty. I though for a minute that I could stop dressing but it's always going to be there. I told my wife over the past 13 years that I dressed up until the time I was 12 but she would flip if she knew I did to this day (and up to about 6 hrs ago. Hee-Hee!). I think about stopping all the time. Especially when I think about age. I'm 36 now and can't imagine myself still going strong later on down the road. But I probably will. I was 5 when I first put on a bra and panties, so I do not think I will ever stop. I just wish I could really go out fem and party with the ladies and just look and feel like a woman. That would be the ultimate high. The ultimate.:thumbsup:

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I nope it never goes away this is just too much fun.......Charlie...:D

There's a lot...an AWFUL lot I could say here but it would mean condensing a book into a post; I'll try to be concise at the risk of compromising intelligibility.

I think the simple answer is probably "no" in most cases, but from my own experience it's certainly possible to reduce the intensity of the need; and therefore, if you can change it....engage with it at all, there is the possibilty that it could be eradicated altogether....if you want to that is. Without wishing to put words into anyone's mouth I wonder whether the question conceals an ambition to be free of the dressing-need?

I need to state my position at this point and before I do, lest I cause offence, I wish to say this, with the greatest possible emphasis: my opinion is with reference to myself and ONLY myself....I presume to make no judgment, NONE WHATSOEVER of anyone else.

I've tried to accept the dressing "thing" as an "expression of my true self"....a mere "phenomenon" that's acceptable and OK....all the justifications/euphemisms you could shake a stick at; and it just doesn't work.

For myself, I just can't get away from the notion that dressing is a form of aberrated behaviour; something that needs to be handled; I fully accept that this attitude may, in itself be "aberrated"....wrong end of the telescope; I can only speak as I feel.

And from this point of view, I have striven to approach it....view it from as many different angles as possible; this is where I stand right now:

It seems to me that there are three distinct areas of major importance:

a) physiological; i.e., hormone-bath, chromosomal pre-disposition etc.

b) psychological: for whatever reason (probably quite complex) one associates a higher "survival-value" with being female v. being male. Speculations about "multiple personality" or "sub-personalities" would probably belong in this particular bucket, or maybe the next:

c) spiritual...this being for many, I imagine, the most controversial. There have been posts about reincarnation, past lives, call it what you will; the relevance being that if we are indeed souls that migrate from one body (death) to another (birth) there may be certain baggage that we take with us. I personally put a lot of credence into this; I don't expect anyone to agree just on my say-so but it's an interesting area to look into.

So it might prove to be the case (if "prove" belongs in this post :rolleyes: ) that for a given individual their need to crossdress stems from some permutation of the above? And then, it falls to the individual to pursue the gamut of info. available on-line and elsewhere; sorry I can't be more specific but for each it's a voyage of self-discovery: the hospitality of Lord Google awaits...in particular, try "psychology of crossdressing".

It would appear that there ain't no pill you swallow, button you push or mantra you chant that does the job in one hit....but you can change in some measure if moved to do so.

Hope this makes sense; as I said at the beginning a difficult precis; and again, my views are strictly apropos myself...pls accept my apology if I've upset anyone with my ravings?

Happy Xmas, Solstice, Hannukah, Saturnalia, Winterval, whatever.... and a joyful'n'prosperous 2008 to all.

:love: and mince pies J.

When I was married I ABSOLUTELY could not dress or share this with my ex. After we were married she openly referred to it as deviate and ill. It was kind of like a cell door closing on your feelings. Now that were divorced I'm picking up the pieces of myself that I shelved and am grateful it never left. It is so fulfilling and enlightening for me ,I know I'll never purge or quit again for anyone

It never goes away ......not totally . It may diminish for a while but will most certainly arrive back with a desired vigor ....well , it did for me anyway giggle

Well hun, learn from my experience:

When I was a teengager I thought I'd loose the desires once I left school
When I started work I thought I'd change once I had a regular girlfriend
Once I had a regular girlfriend I thought I'd feel different when I got married
Once I got married I thought I'd change when the kids came along
When the kids came along I thought I'd loose those desires when I got older
When I got older the desires got even stronger !!!!!!!!!!!!

So the short answer is "no"

So don't hurt yourself by feeling guilty or purging - just enjoy !

:hugs: Suzy

You are probably asking in the wrong forum.

For everyone here, it hasn't gone away.

If there are people for whom it has gone away, they are probably not on this forum :)

It's kind of like asking people at a football game if their interest in football ever dies. (Mine has, you won't find me at a football game.)

Patti

Like most of those here I have tried to surpress the dressing a few times in my life, but the urge comes back. Even though I'm in the closet with the dressing, these days it seems to be stronger and as I've got older I am beging not to worry so much about the dressing.

Have you seen the Burlington Faux Fur items? They will make you feel pretty!

I love going out in the Winter. If you have small-hip problems, a shaped pretty winter coat is just what you need! Also, boots! So sexy, and they help define calves.

I once wore a beautifully tailored ermine coat, and the feeling is impossible to describe! I hate the idea of all of those cute little ermines getting killed just so that I can stay warm, but I can for sure see the attraction. After a corset, it is the most sensual experience you can have!

Cara

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Originally Posted by Megan70

No, it does not ever goes away, and you're not going to like to hear this but gets STRONGER as men age. I'm 60 and go out in public more now than ever and have the sexual and emotional need stronger than before. I am cycular though and don't dress during the hot summer months or Holidays or most of winter. Too much bod covered up with heavy cots and boots that i want to show off. Have to conform with pants and jeans because GG's don't wear stockings at all much less ever in winter. Enjoy growing into your old age, but fear not your question.... its normal for all of us.

Megan

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Originally Posted by mistress michelle

It never goes away ......not totally . It may diminish for a while but will most certainly arrive back with a desired vigor ....well , it did for me anyway giggle

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In fact if I,m honest its getting worse ........after spending time as Michelle I hate the feeling of normal male attire .Its a terrible and horrid feeling if I have to change back on the same day - at least a night asleep helps settle the desire ..



On the other hand .....strange as it may seem , there have been times when the thought of transforming to Michelle has left me feeling almost disgusted - work that one out if you can ...giggle :rolleyes:

Thank you all for your responses. I, like so many that "Dress" in the beginning, feel like we are the only ones that do "Dress". With new emotions come the same thinking's, but since I've been on this website I can feel more at ease about my feelings and such. Most of my questions at the beginning will seem sort of odd and redundant. Rookie questions is the wording. You all have answered in your own way and most, if not all, are pretty much how I've felt or am feeling about the future of my "Dressing". Thank you very much ladies, for making me feel good about myself and certain about the future.:daydreaming:

No, no, no. If I am anything to go by, it can fade, but eventually it comes back.

I went ten years, with virtually no temptation to dress.

Today, I collected from the Post Office my first full outfit for 30 years (thank you Ebay) and the need is as strong, if not stronger, than ever.

I told my wife-to-be well into my purge period, and was devastated when it came back.

Now I have to move forward with the urge to dress as a woman - end of. Not what I would have chosen and not easy, but no alternative, it seems.

All the Best - and Merry Christmas!

Lesley

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Originally Posted by JacquiUKTV

It would appear that there ain't no pill you swallow, button you push or mantra you chant that does the job in one hit....but you can change in some measure if moved to do so.

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Well-stated, but let's qualify that a bit.

In at least one case that I know of (me), a pill has done exactly that.

With a maintenance regimen of sublingual estrogen, supplemented with spironolactone, I've eliminated all traces of gender dysphoria. It's no exaggeration to say that I no longer need to dress.

I hasten to add, though, that I still find it fulfilling. In fact, I work as a woman a few hours a week. But the need is gone. There's no mental agitation - none.

Does it go away, is like asking if taxes go away. NO!!

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Originally Posted by mistress michelle

.....after spending time as Michelle I hate the feeling of normal male attire .Its a terrible and horrid feeling if I have to change back on the same day

On the other hand .....strange as it may seem , there have been times when the thought of transforming to Michelle has left me feeling almost disgusted - work that one out if you can ...giggle :rolleyes:

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Michelle,

My guess would be the tug of war between what you want and what you think you should be. I suspect that many of us have that conflict.

The board here does help. The more me find out that there are many like us, the easier and more acceptable it becomes.

Merry Christmas!

Patti

p.s. my wife gave me a beautiful pink sweater for Christmas :)

I hope not! I am so much happier when I can dress whenever I feel like it. Accepting that this is who I am and can put on a dress anytime is good therapy for me.

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Originally Posted by KayHenderson

Well-stated, but let's qualify that a bit.

In at least one case that I know of (me), a pill has done exactly that.

With a maintenance regimen of sublingual estrogen, supplemented with spironolactone, I've eliminated all traces of gender dysphoria. It's no exaggeration to say that I no longer need to dress.

I hasten to add, though, that I still find it fulfilling. In fact, I work as a woman a few hours a week. But the need is gone. There's no mental agitation - none.

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I've done a little....just a little googling on spironolactone; I would assume it's the effect it has in reducing blood-pressure, maybe de-stressing... that's the salient point here?

If you're willing, I would be most interested to know more...e.g., whereas this regimen has altered your perception as regards dressing, has it impinged on you in other ways?

:love: Jacqui.

the urge to dress does go away--------30 minutes after you die!!!!!!

or so my formerly living ex informed me late one night.

I've had the urge to dress ever since I was like little bitty. I can't even remember just what age. It could have been 6 or 7 years old. I've gone for long periods of time in my life where I tried to "forget" my urges to dress and I've found out that I can't do it! There have been influences in my life such as this forum or my wonderful GG freind who passed away 3 years ago that have convinced me that there is nothing more fun and exciting than dressing. I'm 51 years old and I've purged 5 times. I decided several years ago to never do a stupid thing like that again. I plan to spend the first several months of next year buying some wigs and some clothing items and stuff that I've wanted for a long time. I would dress everyday and wear practically nothing but female clothing if I had a way. Which I don't presently but who knows what the next 5 or 10 years holds. So I just don't think crossdressing goes away.

It hasn't gone away for me, but I've toned it down quite a bit.

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Originally Posted by Jennifer Brooks

The desire of Crossdressing. Does it ever go away for those that don't dress full-time?

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I gotta be honest, I haven't read every post in this thread ... I just skimmed ... but for me, I have a one word answer .... no!

I just know that for me personally, I can't stop (at least) thinking about it. If I don't dress ..... after a week or two I start to get depressed. It makes me feel unhappy and sad that I can't "feel feminine". I don't need to look feminine, I just need to feel feminine. I have to be girly (for a guy) :happy:

I have purged once, realized how important this life style is, I am very Happy with the out-come of being a crossdresser! No Shame, NO regrets!

But on the other hand, this may be a case where "never" actually applies. Statistically, it is a pretty good bet that the desire will not dissolve and will be in your mental background until "then", whenever that is!

From age 7 to age 73, it has lived with me constantly, luckily never having caused any pain - well except when my first wife used the word crossdressing in her divorce complaint ... hehe, but the divorce turned out to be one of those "best" things that ever happened to me.

As so many have already said, live, laugh, love, crossdress and enjoy it all to the best of your ability....

Happy holidays, Rickie :doll:

I'm 45 and it has never gone away. It is less stronger than it was but it's still there.

If it did go away, I wouldn't be here to tell you about it. This is really the wrong place to ask.

I stopped for five years at age fifty. Today at 60, the desire is stronger and the need greater than at anytime in my life. Too bad I had to wait so long to appreciate and enjoy this wonderful gift. Of course, letting go of the fear and deception makes all the difference. I would encourage you to confront your own reality and make some decisions. As they say in the "mind business", past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. I am not a psychologist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night! Good luck.

Figured I might as well chime in here myself with a big fat NO.

Done the denial thing . . . done the purge thing . . . done the "hated myself thing" . . . doen the purge thing (oh, did I say that already?) . . . and finally accepted me for me.

I can't change who I am (although I've certainly prayed and wished for it a zillion times!), so the answer is No.

The long and short answer is "No, it doesn't go away". There may be times where you don't feel the need, or have the ability, time, privacy to dress, but the feeling, need, desire doesn't really ever go away entirely. It lingers there in your subconcious in hiding at times, but it is always there. We have all probably gone through the denial stage, the purging, the "I'm a freak" stage, and even the "Am I the only one who does this"? stage. The point I'm trying to make is that we must accept ourselves for who and what we are before we can expect anyone else to do the same.

Kandis:love:

... mentioned here on the site. I've been through one five-year span and a three-year span with no c-dressing. Right now I'm at the end of that 3-year spell. Basically zero urge the entire time. Then, about two months ago, for some reason the urges came back. I have been feeling them faintly some of the time, strongly on occasion, and other times not at all.

In answer to your question, I would venture to say there are definitely former crossdressers who stopped at some point and never went back ---- they're just not on this website. One reason (which you mentioned) would be age--- if you are a particularly vain crossdresser and you have to feel like you're achieving at least some measure of female attractiveness when you dress femme, the results are going to please you less and less as the body ages.

Another reason would be what other people here on the site have referred to as laziness. The motivation to bag out on keeping two wardrobes and to keep erasing or covering up telltale signs is huge in my case. If I can help it, I don't ever want to dress femme again for the simple reason of time and effort.

But I still want to hold on to some part of this "different-ness." I want to keep being a transgender person. I think there is something in the whole essence or aura that is of great value.

And I don't want to continue on as a non-dressing crossdresser who, consciously or unconsciously, harbors condescending feelings toward cd-ers who want to quit but can't do it. Like former smokers who make a big deal about saying tsk tsk to anyone who lights up.

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Originally Posted by Stevie C

If it did go away, I wouldn't be here to tell you about it. This is really the wrong place to ask.

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Precisely correct, IMO. Now where is that ex-crossdressers forum where the question should be asked? ;-)

Patti

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Originally Posted by Patti Girl

Precisely correct, IMO. Now where is that ex-cross-dressers forum where the question should be asked? ;-)

Patti

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Good answer. But thinking over that reply you have to remember one thing. Being a closet dresser for a number of years and not being in actual contact with fellow "Dressers" you tend to stock-pile questions and feelings about what you are doing. This question is one of them. With each individual reply written, it has given me a warm feeling that I am not alone if I have dipped off the CD radar screen for months or years. Most of the ladies that have contacted me personally are much older in years and very experienced with being a CD, thus they don't have to ask these questions. I do and will. If there is an "EX-CD" forum, I do not think I will be on it. When I do give it up cold turkey, I will be sure to let this board know one exists. I thank you for everybody's replies thus far. It has enlightened me thoroughly. Hugs and Kisses...........

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Originally Posted by Jennifer Brooks

When I do give it up cold turkey, I will be sure to let this board know one exists. I thank you for everybody's replies thus far. It has enlightened me thoroughly. Hugs and Kisses...........

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Gen,

You are right, this board certainly helps us to find a broad perspective and support for what we feel and what we need. Instead of feeling weird and alone, we know that we have lots of company.

But just because someone goes "cold turkey" doesn't mean that it ends or that they won't be back in 3 months or 3 years. If it ever does "end", we need reports back from people who have quit ten or twenty years ago :)

Currently, I am faced with a challenge. I'm thinking of joining the local volunteer fire dept (I have past experience and I understand the local outfit needs help). I'm not sure if I can fit that into my crossdressing needs...or can I give up the crossdressing (I doubt it).

hugs,

Patti

IMO I think the only time it wil go away for good is when you're laying in the ground with a stone over your head. (or in an urn over the mantle place)

I don't think the need can go away. I dressed, purged, collected again, purged, so on and so on. I stop and start, but will not toss it all out again. I stopped once for three years in the late 90's, then got broadband internet, and so it goes. Darn internet. I live single now, but folks here have great advice on telling you SO. Be happy, Jennifer!

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Originally Posted by SANDRA MICHELLE

I would live full time en femme if not for my family obligations. If for some reason I found myself not married anylonger I would go full time the first day.

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As Sandra Michelle has said, it is only marriage and mother that keeps me from being en femme full time. Work would also keep me in drab. If not for those two things, look out world, here comes PeggySue!!!