How do you know?

Shirley makes a great point about "finding out where you are on the spectrum." Yes, very important and you must accept that this may take a geat deal of time. It's not neccessarily an instant answer. Despite years of feelings, desires, wondering, and experiences, I guess the realization most fully came when I discovered I most wanted to present as a woman when it came to how I want to be seen in a variety of activities. For example, doing errands, appearing at social events, even performing household chores, etc. Yes, even in conducting my relationships with others. Most essentially, I believe, is the need for you to fully believe SHE IS WHO YOU ARE/SHOULD BE, and not simply who you might like to be. So, if you have an honest to goodness answer for all those occaissions than that is probably a pretty good indicator of what gender is the true fit for you. Does that make sense my fellow members?

I'd wondered why there were so many more MTF's in the world than FTM's and then I read a book on how gender develops in the womb. The default for the human embryo is female; it's the addition of hormones around eight weeks? that cause it to stay on its path or diverge from it. I theorize that this is partially the reason, though I think environment and personal experience plays a part in some cases in how deeply these feelings go. I very well may be transsexual, but it is as much a label to me as calling me male or female. Most times I feel like female is on the left, male is on the right, and I'm driving a test course with traffic cones that make me swerve back and forth between the two.

[SIZE=4]I know it is my mom's fault for being born the wrong sex, but I just can't hate her for it, she couldn't help it.

She died June 13, 2002, I died 18 months later Dec 12, 2004.
I wish she was still her to see her beautiful and happy daughter. (tears coming!) that she never knew she had.

People used to tell her what a beautiful girl I was until I was 3 and she cut my hair.[/SIZE]

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Originally Posted by valenstein

I'd wondered why there were so many more MTF's in the world than FTM's

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Nope, I don't believe that . . . MtFs get more attention and are therefore more visible, that's all. From what I've seen, the numbers are not that different.

How do you know if you're transsexual? That's a question I've asked myself many, many times. How does one know? Maybe I'm just a wannabe.

Well I think the answer is in previous posts regarding real men. A real man regardless of physical appearance would NOT want to be female and a real man would much prefer losing an arm or leg or even his life than his genitals. So on that basis alone even though I present to the world as macho male I most definitely am NOT. The personna that I worked so hard and so long to develop was a total fabrication and besides my family the person I deceived most was myself. I used to believe if I only tried harder to be a better man it would come to pass and this battle that has raged within for decades would be over. The lesson of course is, you are who you are and one must come to terms with that simple fact to find inner peace. Appearances can be so deceiving.

Well I feel the same as most of you. I have always known that something wasn't right. I have put on this act and not been true to how I felt. Going through a few relationships because I wasn't happy with who I was andnot really feeling right hanging outwith "the guys".I have always felt like a bit of a loner.

I am happy to say that I have recently started up a relationship with my high school sweet heart and it has helped. I have always enjoyed dressing femme but being able to be myself has always been hard.

I told her who I was and she is very accepting of me and has even gone shopping with me and even worn some of my cloths. Being able to be myself and having someone who lovesme for me has gone a long was to helping my selfesteem and just my over all mental health.

Thank you,
Jan

I am really looking forward to where my life is now headed.