Originally Posted by
I Am Paula
My black patent stilettos.
I bought them in about 1980. I didn't think I was a crossdresser, much less transgender at the time. I just wanted them. I sometimes wore them late at night, thru two marriages to women, whom I was too chickensh*t to come out to. They were an important part of me, and lived in my golf bag LOL!! Those shoes kept me sane as my GD started developing. I didn't know it, but dissonance was building.
Sometime around 1990 I came out as a gung ho crossdresser. Still didn't know transition was in my future, but I knew I was more female than male. Those shoes saw me thru hundreds of visits to the gay neighbourhood, and walked the pride route a few times. The insoles of them fell apart, and I carefully lined them with duct tape. Sure, I had lots of other shoes, but my patent stilettos somehow symbolized my true nature.
In 2012 I made the big, and final decision. I had to transition.
During a closet clean out, I was purging some of my older, somewhat tacky, clothes from my gaybourhood days. I was almost fully transitioned, and very full time. I pulled the black patent stilettos from my closet, looked at them with some nostalgia, and tossed them into the black plastic bag.
I didn't need them any more, but they had been an important part of my life.