Rights?

Most people are inclined to enforce the sex binary of male or female, and the gender binary of masculine or feminine, and the sex-gender binary of masculine male or feminine female. Most people are not inclined to acknowledge or support any degree of gender diversity beyond or across these binary types.

Your wife seems to have been marking her territory. In essence, she was telling you that you could never be like her in any significant way. There is some validity to her implied point of view but not as much as she probably thinks. Your degree of femininity and/or femaleness is definitely not identical to hers but that doesn’t make it imaginary, artificial, trivial, or nonexistent.

It is difficult for most people to accept sex and gender diversity in the best of circumstances. It is often acutely difficult to accept it in a marriage or romantic relationship.

If you and your wife can reach some mutual understanding of and respect for your similarities and differences then perhaps the quality of your relationship will improve. I wish you good luck.