I understand now why TS disappear after transitioning

It varies from person to person and I view it like parenting a child. You gain what you need in life from them but then you move onto your individual lives. Some here will always want/need to be in this community. others and a transitioning TS makes perfect, sense will move on to another stage in thier lives. When children mature and move out that is a sign that they got what they needed from thier parents to become indipendent much like our community giving what a TS needed. These things, although sometimes sad for some are all part of us "growing". Think empty nest syndrome. The opposite is your kids never leaving...

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Originally Posted by rogina garter

To me,a T is a female impersonator,with some better at it than others.We weren't born with female genitals,some of us may have bought them,but we aren't the "real deal".

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I'm sorry that you have bought into the fallacy that we can be defined by what is between our legs. Human beings are so much more complex than that.

I cn understand cisgendered people confusing sex and gender because for them there is no difference, but it always hurts when a member of this community seeks to put us down like that.

I wish I could have been the same gender as my sex organs - I might have been able to have a normal life and to know what it is not to have to rip out the heart of someone you love to distraction just because you cannot be a husband when you know from the depths of your being that you are not a man.

If I had been defined by what is between my legs rather than by my gender I might not have got to the stage roughly 2 years ago where I couldn't sleep because of planning the different ways in which to end my sorry excuse for a life, or I might have been able to have a normal relationship with another person instead of worrying from the outset each time what it would do to them when they found out that I am not a man.

Put in its simplest terms, I might even have understood what happiness means.

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Originally Posted by kellycan27

But until you have walked a mile in my shoes, please don't tell me that I am obligated to hang around and help you. I have paid my dues, and now I have the opportunity to live my life as I see fit, and to live the dream that "I", "me", "myself" have worked so hard to achieve. That same dream that you yourselves lust after... wether it be living as a woman, or living with the freedom to crossdress without some a-hole telling you what you should and should not do or how you should or shouldn't act. Some people graduate college and stay on to teach, some move on to their chosen life.. it's a choice and not an "obligation" and any suggestion that people are somehow remiss for not sticking around is IMHO bullshit! :2c:
Kelly

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I think it is great that your living your life. I miss talking to you but I know you have a life and I accept that as I too have a life to live. What I hate is when some put a new thread it will get stupid amount of hits and replies but when another does the same it might get 2 replies and 200 views. That too me isn't support, its favoritism at its worst. WE ALL need that extra nudge to go the next step. Just do it in a constructive way.

It really is incredible to me as i read this thread how someone can say they wish ts people would stick around for support, but then also be reading comments about "buying genitals" and female impersonators..
I posted here to defend the girls that decided its either too painful or not worth their time to post here and support people....the chasm between cd'ers and ts people is very large..

If you really want to connect with ts people, then stop attacking us when we let you down...or say things from experience that you don't like.
it's an impossible thing to debate... I know what i did, and what it meant...when i say i learned how different i was from people that are crossdressing, this is from personal experience that i gained by transitioning..
why is there even a debate?
why do some people so badly want to tie their crossdressing experience into the transsexual experience?

If you want to know whether a feeling or experience you are having is similar to the ts experience, feel free to ask..
but your only option is to accept the answer or continue to ask questions......
you can't tell a person living through something that you know better than them...
When you are debating a point with me and part of your response is that "A TS woman I know told me...."....arent I not a TS woman??

Wow...this is quite a thread.

I'm one of the group that has a part of me in each gender, mentally. I was able to spend a significant amount of time as Tina last week and my insightful wife commented that she was glad that I had the opportunity to do that as she thought Tina really needed the time! Both parts of me need time to exist. I didn't make a concious decision to be born this way, it's just the way it is.

As a result, I am very thankful for all the input, ideas, and experiences that I read about on this forum. Since I've spent most of my life presenting in the masculine, I tend to focus on the commentary about existing in the world presenting as one's feminine self. As a result, I'm always interested in those of us who spend a lot of time, if not all of our time, in the wider world as our feminine selves. Logically, those who have transitioned to full time, or almost full time, always grab my attention. That is also the group that will likely have less and less interest in this forum, unless they love the idea of staying as the "teachers" mentioned in many of the responses to this thread. The evolution is totally understandable. Once you are living as a woman, the trans part must logically be left behind.

So, thank you all for what you've written and thank you all in advance for what you might be able to share with us. I know you have helped me, and I'm sure many others are just as thankful for your input and experiences.

May life be your bowl of cherries :)

tina

I would have to agree with you , it's a natural progression ,being just a natural woman doing normal woman stuff,and not going to just tg places,Ive started going that way but still,log on to the forum Evey so often.

When I wrote this post, I had no intention of causing some of the varied comments that occurred. It seems that every time we talk about this issue it brings out comments that cause a lot of hurt.

The reason that I wrote this post was because I am beginning to see myself more TS. I don't think I ever really fit the cd'er except that I didn't want to transition. I still don't think that that is for me, but I am definitely enjoying living my life as Michelle. The further I get into this I see the TG community as a tie to my past. While I don't see the point to leaving the group that I founded, I do see my role more as guiding the group in a certain direction only. I am moving deeper into the living of my life as a woman which causes it own issues. What am I thinking? If I want to live as a woman then why don't I want to transition. These are questions that as of yet I don't know the answers. I do see where it would be advantageous to completely move away form the TG community and live as a woman. I suppose TS women do the same thing for similar reasons. They want to live their life as a woman and have few people know about their past.

Katesbeck wrote something in the TS forum and it was immediately attacked and I felt sorry for her because I saw her point. Her point was based upon her perspective but few gave her credit for it. Then I wrote this posting and the same thing happened. I just don't get why we can't respect peoples wishes to pass the torch to another sister. Isn't that the biggest benefit of groups like this? Aren't we to show as many as we can the way forward and then get out of their way to become the new leaders of the community?

I would like to think that if I leave the TG community at some point that my wishes will be respected. I also hope that I made a positive impact on the community and helped several others to become the leaders of tomorrow. We can only do so much in our lives, but if we help 10 people to take our place then we provided 10 times the manpower to the community. When we help someone shouldn't our goal be to replace ourselves? Shouldn't we try to help others come out of the closet and leave all of the lying about themselves behind?

I am just trying to pass the torch of light to as many people while I am here. I don't know about you, but when I started to deal with my TG feelings I had no idea that it would lead me to running a meetup group here in Denver. Did you ever think that you would become a leader in the TG community? Who helped you become the leader that you are today? Are they still active or have they passed the torch to you? I think this is the process that we all go through over time.

Michelle, I think you will always see the varied responses here just because of the sheer quantity of members which means that even the low percentage opinions can be regularly seen in posts. There will be those that want to give back, even if for a short duration and those that don't want to.

The key to me is that each of us, no matter how we identify, have our own struggles and no one should be putting a burden of "you owe us" on anyone. If someone gives back to the community at large, then God bless them, but it shouldn't be expected. Sometimes it is all you can do to hold your own life together.

Good luck as you figure out exactly how you feel about your present and where you future will take you. These are never easy questions but your contributions in Denver will not likely ever be forgotten. I just can't see how there aren't people who say "I got out and it was through Michelle's group".