Printable View
[QUOTE=kendra_gurl;2487381 . How accepting do you really think your wife is? If someone gave her a pill that would stop your desire to crossdress completely would she give it to you? ( I know it's not that simple but humor me).
Kendra[/QUOTE]
For anyone who missed this part of the orginal post
I agree with Kathi, but I'll add that I don't dress to "fool" anyone--albeit it's nice when it happens--I like when people know that I'm a guy, but they have to admit, "that dude looks good in a dress."Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathi Lake
Kendra, thank you for the thought provoking thread. I recently posed this very question to a forum member over dinner with my wife and I. I still don't know the answer but Kathi Lake so eloquently summed up my feelings, hence her quote. While it captured my feelings, I still don't know where this will take my wife and I.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathi Lake
I suppose we will continue to venture out to places where we both feel comfortable and secure. We have Be-All in Chicago next month, which will be our first convention. Perhaps someday I will feel comfortable enough to go to more mainstream places to dinner as opposed to tg-friendly places. I'm still not out to friends and family and have no plans on doing so. Though if more mainstream places are in our future then I may need to reconsider. If I am to come out as a crossdresser, I would prefer to do so on my own terms as opposed to those that are important to me potentially hearing the news from others.
Regarding the "magic pill", well once upon a time I would've taken it in a heartbeat. For the last twenty years or so the answer would be no, as self acceptance finally arrived. Crossdressing is a relatively small, yet significant part of who I am as a person. I know my wife feels the same way and seriously doubt she would ever want me to lose this aspect of me. She does'nt seperate the male and female personnas, it's just me. Kim
Oh, that pill!! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by kendra_gurl
Yes, I'm sure she would - by either hiding it from me in my food or by some other means, she would love to permanently remove what she feels to be my only character defect. What she doesn't realize is that she would be removing the best part of me, in my opinion. Sure, I flounce around in a bra and heels. Sure, I can do my makeup better than she can (yeah - I know what you're thinking, but it is sadly true), and she dislikes this 'part' of me. But I believe that part of me is also responsible for my better qualities - my sensitivity, my nurturing, my patience, my willingness to compromise. Yes, I know; there are men with these qualities, and they probably don't go poofing around in a dress, but I feel that if you remove that part of me, what would be left would be the type of man that is detestable to me, and - though she may not know it - to her as well.
Now if you turned that quote around; If I could take a pill (voluntarily) that would get rid of it, I would have to say no. I would not take it. Yes, my crossdressing has given me and those who love me various trials and tribulations. To say that there have been some negatives would indeed be an understatement. However - and this is a big however - it has also opened up to me an incredible world of being that I never would have experienced. There is no way after knowing what I know and living what I've lived that I would ever want to miss out on these experiences.
Kathi
Maybe an equally legitimate question would be "...And what about those of you with non-accepting wives. Would you give her that pill? Would she take it willingly?..." ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by kendra_gurl
Kathi
Either you are my brother by another mother or we are married to the same woman thanks for your honesty
Photo of me right this second as I'm surfin the site
You look great hon and I can relate to what you said about dressing for the mirror.
You're very pretty Kendra. Love the top, although maybe it's a tad informal for surfin' the net. :)
Back to the question of "The Pill." I think I'd take it as long as it had no other adverse effects.
Thanks Saoirse.. as much as i enjoy all this I too think I would take the pill if it would only make my desire to dress go awayQuote:
Originally Posted by Saoirse
The ol' pill question...with a twist! Yep. I'll bet if there was one, and my wife got her mitts on it, she'd be sorely tempted to slip it to me somehow. But she's very honest....she might not think it was right. But if I were a betting gal.......
Kendra...you're a babe. You could be starring in "Cougar-Town". LOL
Wonder what network would air a Lesbian version of Cougar-Town? No wait I'm not lesbian I'm a VAGINAterianQuote:
Originally Posted by TGMarla
This is such a good question and some good discussion that I really had to and wanted to stop and think through some things before answering "what do I want to achieve crossdressing."
For me personally, I have come to realize that whatever else draws me to crossdressing it is a means by which I can most easily access my feminine side. I've long been a believer in the concept of ying and yang, of everything containing within itself the two opposites that together interact/combine to create the whole.
This also means that giving my feminine persona the name Ellen makes it easier to distinguish that side of me from the masculine Robert - I understand that both Ellen and Robert are the same person but each reflects a different mixing of those parts with differing emphasis upon individual aspects.
I am much less ambitious for myself and for Ellen than many of the girls here - that reflects in greatest part the recognition that I am bisexual and do not wish to permanently take on the female role nor to permanently abandon the male role (which, face it, still enjoys some advantages in our society today). My ideal "pill" would allow me to become either fully female or fully male as desired - I understand and actually hope that such experience or in lieu of such a pill, crossdressing, would allow Robert to recognize certain "feminine" characteristics or personality traits that would actually make Robert a better more well rounded and happier person - and while Ellen may never realize full womanhood I would like to achieve a closer realization of that within the bounds of my limited capabilities to do so.
At my age and in my circumstances, with a partially accepting wife but without being out to anyone else, there are experiences that however appealing are probably out of reach - I try to dress and appear appropriately for someone my age without attracting noteriety or ridicule. I have not had the need nor the courage to be as bold as many of you in this forum or as many of our sisters outside this forum. I am generally content with such limits - I would love for Ellen to get out in company with members of the forum and our larger community, but I do not have the same drive or determination that enables many of you to venture out into the wider world - and that's fine given that my own ambitions are more internalized and rather selfish, focused upon getting to know both Ellen and Robert better so that each of them as the ocassion arises can face the wide world with better self awareness and understanding and perhaps greater sympathy for the reality that we are all the same even as we are all different.
Girl, there is no way we're related! You are wayyy too hot to be my brother!Quote:
Originally Posted by kendra_gurl
:)
Kathi
Let me ad my non relevant :2c: to this. I have had some family living with me for a couple of months and they don't know about Shaylee. There has been no time for her and the other day my wife said to that she hoped they would be moving soon to where they are going to school in the mid west. I said I thought she loved having them here. She does but she knows my needs and said that it was hard living with just me as her husband. Your intolerable at times unless Shaylee visits once in a while and she hasn't been around since the kids moved back. She said she personally doesn't miss her but she misses the effect Shaylee has on me. I'm a much nicer after "she" visits. Sometimes I just get confused about where she stands on Shaylee. There are times she asks me if I want to play dress up with her And the there are times she will barricade herself in the study when I transform. You know it's not like I dress a lot; most of the time it's like every other week and sometimes like three days straight, very inconsistent. But I do know this she loves me with all my faults and not because i have them.
The first requirement for any taboo behavior- can I get away with it? If I could get away with going shopping as a woman I would.
I want to be me: fully and completely me without having to hide any part of me from anyone else.
What Do I want to Do Next?
In my case I am waiting for permission to take the next step, which is taking hormones.
I too like to dress "just" for the mirror (I hate the wigs, heels are painful, keeping makeup overnight is not cool, shaving arms and legs is odd for guys, tucking in hurts, bra is uncomfortable to sleep with and women's sleepwear is not at all comfortable. Panties are cool though :)). I am not TG and cannot think, act or talk like woman, nor am i interested in other men. Being passable, I just want to go visit places with like minded friends and then before sleep take everything off. Nothing more and nothing less.Quote:
Originally Posted by kendra_gurl
EDIT: I am single.
Ok Im going to try to answer this my way.
In the real world I bust my butt off 14 hrs everyday for 12-14 day streaches. When I get home I take a bubble bath and then slip into something soft and comforting. Who am I trying to fool, not a soul.
If my wife was given the magic pill would she give it to me, nope. Denise is a part of who I am. I dont try to pretend im something im not. But who says you cant enjoy life in my own way.
I guess like a lot of people for me its partly sexual. Its taboo in a general sense. I guess that why I started anyway.
ATM I am just a panty wearer and I've simply found as well as being sexy, they are just plain comfortable.
I guess its also just a case of why not? Men need a revolution like women had.
I was always amazed at the amout of latitude with fashion that women have. I was never happy with the stringent code of dress that a guy has.
I want to be both feminine & masculine, and slip out of either gender whenever I feel like it.
Sometimes I'm a man, sometimes I'm a woman.
Perfect answer!! I so totally agree.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathi Lake
Grear quote girl!! How are you? I haven't talked to you in a while.Quote:
Originally Posted by JaytoJillian
Maybe you have not shopped around enough to find ones that are comfortable and a nice fit. Some sexy night wear is very uncomfortable, but there are nighties that are both sexy enough and comfortable.Quote:
Originally Posted by sara.s
I'm so happy this thread picked up again after a cpl weeks. Seems we have a lot of different reasons for our dressing and what we want to achieve by doing so.
There are no wrong reasons just different ones for different people.
Thanks again for all the replies