Sorry,but I think your being very disrespectful to Stephanie with your words.to make such a comment to someone such as Stephanie who from my first time on this site,has talked in such glowing terms about her dearly departed wife,and their loving relationship of 50 years is out of order IMOQuote:
Originally Posted by Aprilrain
I think maybe nice guys is the the wrong expression,A decent Man is perhaps what most Ladies are after,as opossed to "nice"
Sophie
Karren is funny and sometimes a great comedian but here I think right on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
I have told 2 gg gf's who I told and they both said about the same thing.
They slowly broke it off.
I mean we are still friends ... kind of.
thought I should tell cause I was getting serious.
GOOD LUCK
Doc, 10 out of 10 for being upfront and honest. Even if you 'lose' this one you are going the right way about finding an accepting partner.
"You're a nice guy, I hope we can continue to see each other?"
Translation... Call me when you decide to stop acting foolish... Move on, she's not worthy
Only way you'll know for sure is if you ever hear from her again. If so, that would be a perfect time to start educating her with links like this site, tri-ess, etc. and if she shows for a third get together, put a checkmark by her name in your Blackberry.
After about 10 days, she called me! Among other things, we discussed my dressing and what she thot about it. She's, "Not very interested", in it! But hopes, "I can get over it". :straightface:Quote:
Originally Posted by jillleanne
She also confirmed she wants to continue seeing me, would rather not discuss my dressing, and repeated SEVERAL TIMES again what a, "Nice guy", I am!:brolleyes:
Sherry, she really doesn't understand. She likes you, but wants you to stop this "silly hobby", as if she would prefer you to wear a different style of socks, or that you would stop rooting for the Phillies (or whatever team you root for!). I think you have a long up-hill struggle to educate her, and her refusal to continue the conversation indicates to me that education is something that does not interest her in this area.
Good luck, Sherry.
tina
That's too bad Sherry!
I would consider moving on unless you are looking for a platonic friend who is a little but close minded. She may be a nice person but doesn't sound like someone I would want to pursue any intimacy with...but that is me.
I so disagree , but I've never been a guy... and it's been a while sinse I've dated.
But when I told a guy I hope we could see each other again I ment I hope you call me.
When I said " You're such a nice guy " hear .. " compared to the sobs I've met, I like Nice Guys !"
OK so she's not " interested " in your dressing ,, how does she know [ at this point does she know what it's all about?]
I had a million points I wanted to make but I have to go to work
Sherry, If you like her, invite her here with us.
Best,
bye..
Presh
Sherry, I would take it as it is and let things move along. Hey, there's nothing wrong with just going out and enjoying the company of the opposite sex. Given time, she might even decide to look farther into CDing. But to quote Lovell in Apollo 13: "... there's a thousand things that have to happen in order. We are on number eight. You're talking about number six hundred and ninety-two." Let this evolve on its own and don't get ahead of yourself.
Let her go, sherry...
The signals couldn't be any clearer that while your new friend likes you, the crossdressing part is a big deal to her and is always going to be the elephant in the room. Stay with her, and you'll be doomed to a lifetime of "don't ask, don't tell" at best - the same as many of the rest of us CDer's who didn't tell our SO's before we got married in the hope that this "quirk" would go away after we settled down, and then found out to both of our dismays that it didn't. We were then condemned for marrying our SO's under false pretences, and have continued to pay the price ever since.
I'm also assuming that your gf is middle-aged like yourself, so she would have been raised in a different time from today and when gender roles and expectations were very much more clearly defined and "men were men, and women were women". It's pretty hard to change such entrenched mindsets once people get to a certain age.
Let her go for both your sakes and spare yourselves a ton of grief in the process. You're only early on into this budding relationship, so the break up won't be overly hard on either one of you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and if you look hard enough, you'll eventually find a gal who has the same great attributes, but won't be as freaked out by your crossdressing need as the present one is.
Just my $0.02 worth from someone with only about 40 years of DADT experience under their belt. If I had to do it over again, would I have done things differently? You betcha...! :sad:
Doc
My heart is broken, I thought you were saving yourself for me!!:lovestruck:
That being said, may I add, without reading anything but the very first post:
You are a wonderful person who always has supportive, kind, funny things to add to all subjects on this forum.
Who, in their right mind, wouldn't be able to understand that about you?! You must be looking in the wrong caves, Doc!?
i dont know why everyone is being so down on this girl.. it sounds just like a typical reaction... the fact that she called 10 days later is a good sign.. how can she possibly know automatically how to react to this.. seems normal to me..
Yeah. Cut her some slack. It took me a while before I was willing to learn about cd'ing, and a long time to come around to the idea. Be patient, don't force cd related discussions on her, and see what happens.
It's not my place to say you shouldn't give it a shot. I suppose it all depends on how serious any relationship with her gets, she's hoping you'll change and you know you can't. If neither of you talk about it things may work for a while but neither of you will be fully happy. If you are both prepared that someday you might part company and hopefully with no one getting hurt then it's worth seeing where it will lead. I see nothing wrong with another date.
Sherry:
Their are a lot more fish in the sea, In short find a new spot to go fishing.
You are who you are, and to change to please her would be hard on you.
You do not need that trouble when there are GG's out their that would at
least meet you half way...... Good luck.
Rader
Hey Doc,
Unless you are planning on making this woman your life partner, soul mate, or whatever the current term is, why not just enjoy the company and the relationship. If she called you back, she obviously is interested in continuing it. You have been clear about who you are, so just let the two of you enjoy the male aspect of your personality. Just be clear to her (and to yourself) that this is a "self limiting" relationship.
One thing was not clear. You said:
The wording confused me. Was she saying that she hopes that she herself can "get over it" or that she hopes you can "get over it." The first would be great. The second, not so much.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
Liz
Hi Doc,
I am afraid she is in the Category of "Ewwww You are one of Those" It is to bad that Ladies cannot see past what others think and make up their own mind. I am sure she has had friends, that made fun of guys that dress up in female clothes and maybe she has before. It is really to bad they give us such low status. Like you I have heard the "you are such a nice guy but why do you want to dress as a female." line. You know what I tell them, I tell them I would not be who I am without Amy, I would probably just some Prick out there wanting to molest and degrade all Females. Instead I would love to be one and I want all Female friends and I want a Lady that will accept me for who I am, ALL OF ME!!! The inside and the Outside. The Person I am and the person I have to be.
well.. my girlfriend is in that category.. and were fine.. so it could work.. ..im just saying.. all of us here are climbing up a mountain of adversity with this damn thing.. i thought the consensus was that gg that are "into" this are very very rare...
It is hard to give advice over the inter web since I only know you by what you post here and don't know her at all. I'd just play it by ear. If you enjoy her and she enjoys you, why not give it a shot?
Frankly, if I were a GG on a casual date with no experience with cross dressing and my date told me he was a cross dresser, I'd tell him he was a nice guy and drop him. It is only when a GG truly knows the positive qualities of a guy that she MAY get past the issue of cross dressing. I think she just blew you off in a tasteful manner.
With the limpted information Doc is giving us, it's hard to say what this woman is thinking. But here's another thought based on the fact she at least confirmed she wants to keep seeing Doc. it's possible she is doing her own on-line education about crossdressing and other gender related topics. Right now she does not want to talk about it. Perhaps because she is uncomfortable and would rather not discuss the crossdressing since she is not knowledgable uncomfortable with, for lack of education on the topic. Of course she's not very interested in it. Very few women are. It's the man she might be interested in! Interested enough to want to still see each other and maybe...just maybe do her own research on the topic before she wants to talk about it. That is IF she is interested enough to want more then a casual dating type of relationship. If the chemistry is right with both parties, she may come around. So if Doc has long term romantic hopes for this to work out, He needs to just let her lead when it comes to any conversations about crossdressing. So if I was in this situation, I'd have to weigh just how strong my desire for this woman is and continue to see her but perhaps prepare myself for the worst if she does not grow stronger feelings toward me and I see it going no where. But I think it's to early to tell. But again, we don't know how serious Doc wants this to go. Nor do we know if this woman is wanting a serious relationship. But so long as each enjoy each other, I say continue to see each other and see where it goes.Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
Hmm. Sounds as if she thinks this is a hobby that you can choose to not engage in. She probably has no idea what's involved with the CDing. But, she did call you, so that's a good sign! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
Are you attracted to her? Putting the CDing aside for a moment, is she someone that you enjoy spending time with? If so, how do you see your relationship growing?
And my last question, or rather comment is not promising. Let's just say that things do develop between the two of you, and through some leap of faith she eventually realizes that CDing is more than a hobby, and she further comes to acknowledge that you need to express yourself. Would you like to eventually involve her (or any other potential gf) with Sherry, meaning would you like to dress in front of a girlfriend if she was accepting? And if so, I hate to bring this up but you yourself said that even many people in the CDing community have a hard time with femme skins. Does this woman know that you wear one, or was your discussion about the CDing more general?
Sherry,
You made this lady wait 10 days without calling her, till she had to call you ?
I'd say she's interested and probably sat by the phone hopeing you would call her !
And lastly she is right , You are a nice person... what in the world is wrong with that ?!
Presh GG