Bisexuality & Crossdressing

I like the word heteroflexible. I have often fantasizewd being a lady with a gentlman, so I guess bicurious. But, i have had many near meetups, where i chickened out or got wise, at the last minute, or else, the guy chickened out. If i finally do meet a man, i hope for a patient, flexible admirer, if there are any. I always wanted a certain type of woman, but, up till now, i don't have anything to offer, but friendship, and I have met lots of women, who just don't want or need a man, anymore. Part of me really likes being wanted, as a lady, because as a guy, no women seem at all interested! At least, all dressed up, as a pretty lady, lots of guys are interested!

I'll use the old joke, I'm trisexual, I'll try anything once, more if I like it.

I know that my sexual fantasies were always of me as a woman, with a woman, So yes, I'm gay, I'm a Lesbian.
Of course, if my partner is really eager, I can enjoy sex as a man with a woman too (though I have to really fantasize the scene above to reach orgasm).
So that would make me bisexual.

I came out 12 years after I gave up drugs and alcohol. However, I suspect that if I had been able to come out and be accepted by the gay community as a CD/TG/TS and had found a nice lover, I could have enjoyed sex with a man too.

The nice thing about men is that it's much easier to find people in the gay community who want to have sex with a TG/TS, than it is to find women in either a straight community or gay community who want to initiate and seduce a TG/TS who is a bit shy. And I know from painful experience, that you have to be willing to take a LOT of rejection to try and make passes at gay or straight women as a TG/TS. Lesbians don't want a man, Straight women want a "real man". Bisexuals are afraid to accept your offers because once they are marked as bisexual, they would have a harder time finding and keeping either a straight or lesbian lover.

I've had 4 experiences with men, and all were not very pleasant. The first was a close friend who I knew was gay. He wanted to "turn" me gay. He was so aggressive it was more like a rape, and I ended it by "accidentally" honking the horn of my car in front of his house. The second had been working out and smelled horrible, but didn't want to take no for an answer. I was able to negotiate down to a hand job. The only time I gave oral I almost threw up all over him (gag reflex). The last one wanted me to dress him up and dominate him. Unfortunately he smelled really bad too. I was able to get him off with my magic wand.

If I had met a man who was handsome, gentle, smelled nice, was clean, and was willing to treat me like a lady, would I have been receptive to his advances? I think I might have been very receptive. Today, I'm married and have no desire to stray. In many ways both of my wives were very masculine.

In Femme mode, I'm much more aware sensually, more receptive, and more easily stimulated.

In drab mode, nearly all touch is an assault on the senses. Everything either tickles, hurts, or just annoys me.

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Originally Posted by MsJanessa

I'm bi--I prefer feminine men, girls like me, and ggs--not into uber masculine types

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I'm exactly the same way!

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Originally Posted by ReineD

Welcome Paulette! CDing spans the range of sexuality here (and everywhere else), so no worries! :)

I'm curious though. Are you attracted to both men and women no matter how you're dressed, or is it more an attraction to women when you're in guy mode, and an attraction to men when you're in girl mode?

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i would like to weigh in on this. i guess you could consider me bi, although all but one of my mm experiences were with me in guy mode. for women most of mine were in guy mode. the sexual attraction has nothing to do with me being dressed. haven't been seeking either m or f partners lately, since i've really been into being cassandra whenever i can. it's odd how that happened that once i was more into being cassandra, my desire for playmates has diminished. but if i did find playmates that i was compatible with, either m or f, being dressed would be only something that would happen if they were into it. i would tell them about cassandra, but would not expect them to be intimate with me while i was cassandra

While i consider myself to be bi i'm really not attracted to men outside of being in the bedroom while in fem

I'm only bi when in female mode. :2c::battingeyelashes:

I'm monogamous, anything else is moot.

Honestly, I think FAR more people are bisexual than they let themselves believe.

This includes people who identify as being gay.

These days there's too much of being on one team or another and in order to not deal with the social consequences, they put walls up and simply never address it.

And, the louder someone proclaims themselves as being one way or another, the harder they're forcing those walls to stay in place.

Personally, I'm probably bi, but the gender identity thing being kept in the closet makes things really cloudy.

In the end, I don't like to define myself by sexuality. I'm a human being and what happens, happens.

Better to be true than to force yourself to be whatever you think it's best for you to be.

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Originally Posted by LilSissyStevie

I'm monogamous, anything else is moot.

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I LOVE this! Perfect! :D

i'm a bisexual, have been most of my life. only recently i started crossdressing. for fun . its the most relaxing part of my day. i don't let what i'm wearing controll who i'm attracted to. single right now and not really looking for anybody. but when i am ready to start a new relationship i have no idea if it will be male or female, or trangender. love is a funny thing. just fallow you intincts and hopefully you'll end up with someone specail.

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Originally Posted by ReineD

Here we go again. Some members have already reported your post for its skewed views. But, it is your opinion such as it is and so your post stays. :rolleyes:

Honestly, don't you get tired of making the same broad brush comments, and getting shot down by the membership here?

To the newbies ... not to worry, Sean is harmless. He comes in here every few weeks/months or so, spews the same rhetoric, gets shot down for applying his theories to *all* CDs, and then he goes away for a little while.

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You think thats bad. I know a CD that thinks that any MtF CD that likes women while dressed is a freak and she wants nothing to do with them. They are also freaks for talking to gay men.

I love ramen noodles.

I fit in with just about everyone here. I have a male friend that I am very close to but in our discussions over the years he looks down on men in women's clothes. I would love for him to know about Kitty as a friend. LOL It is hard to separate feeling when the little head is doing the thinking. :)

Kitty

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Originally Posted by DebbieL

If I had met a man who was handsome, gentle, smelled nice, was clean, and was willing to treat me like a lady, would I have been receptive to his advances?

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Sorry he's taken! You just described my BF.

I just don't understand bisexuality having anything to do with what you are wearing at the time. That sounds like a fetish to me. It seems like if you are a heterosexual male that thinks women should be with men then it is the HETEROSEXUAL MALE in you that is saying that when YOU are dressed like a woman, you should also be with a man.

This makes sense to me. Suddenly taking supreme interest in the same sex when you put on a dress does not. It just sounds like you are "one upping" yourself on how much of a woman you can be in your mind.

Bisexuality means that you are attracted to both genders AT ALL TIMES! It doesn't mean I suddenly wear a hat and I am turned on by women. But, I think a fetish would justify that.

This also raises further implication on monogamy. If you don a dress and are into men, where does your SO fit into the equation? That's not bisexuality. I'm bisexual 24/7 365...in a dress...on a plane...on a boat...it doesn't matter. I am monogamous to my SO because my sexual orientation isn't changing suddenly when I am with him.

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Originally Posted by LilSissyStevie

I'm monogamous, anything else is moot.

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AGREED! I think this is how bisexuals get a bad track record with being promiscuous at every turn. The last guy that found out I was bi said, "Bi girls are great...they're the perfect threesome buddies!" Are we REALLY?!? Last time I checked, I would clock someone upside the head that hit on my SO...don't think it makes me the best "threesome buddy."

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Originally Posted by Shananigans

Bisexuality means that you are attracted to both genders AT ALL TIMES!

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Oh oh, now I have to change my answer. There are days I am not attracted to either :) Honestly it fluctuates and although I love women almost in any form, guys have to be "special" like April's BF.

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Originally Posted by seanmuscle

All Cds are either gay, bi, or bicurious because CDs are women born in a mans body. They have a feminine personality and enjoy presenting themselves as a woman. it is every CDs dream to be one of the girls and talk about clothes, gossip and men. To be kissed by a tall prince charming is a CDs fairy tale ending. It turns her into the princess she has always wanted to be. When a CD gets affirmation as a girl it sets her female side free....

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I can't decide whether Sean's a closet case, wannabe, admirer who doesn't know it yet, or just a bigot whose dogma will not allow him to question his beliefs. Any time someone lards up an opinion with "all" or "every", illogic alert! He obviously doesn't know many people like us, or he would realize the absurdity of his absolutes. I've known CDs who are so raging femme that Tinkerbell would blush, others who clearly are regular guys in a dress for a while, and every shade of gray in between. I've posted elsewhere about the anomalous brain-wiring theory of how this happens to some males, and I like that theory because it readily explains all the variations of gender and sexuality that are grouped by society under the TG umbrella term.

But really, Sean, this is hardly an appropriate forum to air stereotypes and absolutes.

Sean is what call a troll. Gets off on us reacting. Stop feeding the troll and it will go away.

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Originally Posted by seanmuscle

All Cds are either gay, bi, or bicurious because CDs are women born in a mans body. They have a feminine personality and enjoy presenting themselves as a woman. it is every CDs dream to be one of the girls and talk about clothes, gossip and men. To be kissed by a tall prince charming is a CDs fairy tale ending. It turns her into the princess she has always wanted to be. When a CD gets affirmation as a girl it sets her female side free....

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You appear to be grossly misunderstanding the difference between transvestism and transsexualism.

While being kissed by a tall prince is a fairytale ending, I'm fairly sure each and every person has there own fantasies and equally personal reasons for taking time to express themselves in such ways, I doubt they can be so predefined as you suggest.

I agree with Shanans point of view. I don't think clothes meant for a specific gender role act as an on and off switch for sexuality. Imagine if they were though!

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Originally Posted by Lacey-D

I agree with Shanans point of view. I don't think clothes meant for a specific gender role act as an on and off switch for sexuality. Imagine if they were though!

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Exactly. Clothes have Nothing to do with sexuality. Gender has very little to do with sexuality, or we wouldn't have gay people!

I thought this is what CDs get on little stomping fits about anyway. How many times have I heard, "JUST BECAUSE I CD DOES NOT MEAN I AM GAY!" Now, it's "only when I CD am I gay."

Good grief...

I'd say every gay or bi person (every straight person for that matter) identified with their sexual orientation at a very young age, even if they did not accept it. It does not matter if I am naked, or dressed up like Dorothy...I am bi. There is no running from it.

Now, sexuality is very complex. If you dress up and get into kinkier things and want to experiment. There's a few words for that behavior...fetish...experimentation...etc. But, it's not bisexuality...not unless you could be attracted to that certain group of people no matter what you are wearing.

Maybe this is why the gay community is getting so mad at CDs and stopping drag shows in gay bars. They don't want the association of clothing with sexuality. I thought CDs were pretty much in agreement with this, but I guess not everyone is...

Well the the reason for being mad at DQ is they see DQ as some thing that gets mocked. They want to be taken seriously and DQ detract from that. Paraphrased from a gay man that hates DQ.

I agree with many of the points made here. 1. I am bi no matter where enfemme or guy mode. 2. i think as someone said most if not all people are bi to some extent or have at least thought about it at some time in their life. 3. the walls built up around being either sexuality are what homophobes are using to make the walls stronger and stronger.
I do believe that people are what they are because of being born that way, just like the majority of CD's, we are born that way.
So all in all I have a wonderful life. I enjoy the best of both worlds being a woman and a man, having enjoyed being with a woman and a man. I am married and believe in being faithful to my wife and that part of my past is past but does that change that I am not bi just because I don't take part in it? No I am still bi but because I love my wife I choose to be with her only.

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Originally Posted by niya blake

Well the the reason for being mad at DQ is they see DQ as some thing that gets mocked. They want to be taken seriously and DQ detract from that. Paraphrased from a gay man that hates DQ.

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I agree, but it also goes beyond that. The big bugaboo right now is the "T" is LGBQT. What does being TG have to do with sexual orientation? And, CDing is under the TG umbrella...what do clothes have to do with sexual orientation?

What we have been saying for years is that sexuality is NOT a choice. I can't choose who I am attracted to. I can't magically take off my hat and just be into men.

Then, there are the idiots that think lesbians are all "butch" or "bull dykes" because obviously how they dress is associated with their sexual orientation. But, when there are a huge number of people like me, they compensate and say, "Well, oh, she's a lipstick lesbian!" No. It's absolutely infuriating.

There are fewer and fewer TG friendly places to go, when usually they were gay bars. But, most gay men don't want to be associated as being CDs. As my gay friend said, "I'm gay. I like men. I don't like men in dresses. I don't like men with boobs. I like penis and I like a man dressed as a man." I was a little put-off by this statement and thought it was a little blunt. But, I see what he means. He doesn't want his sexual orientation associated with CDing and things CDs do...he gets enough flack for being gay. I kind of feel the same way...I get really sick of being the ***** and the threesome buddy because I am bi. I don't want people surprised that I look girly and am ladylike just because I like sn*tch. It's dumb.

In fact, I don't want ANY image, clothing, or action describing or attributed to my sexuality. Bisexuality pure and simple is just being attracted to both men and women. It really has nothing to do with CDing and it has no on and off switch. If it did, I would have found it when I was 12 and thought I was going straight to Hell...do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Hmm now here is a few questions if You are an MtF CD that likes women But you will date date other MtF Cd's doe that make you Bi ? If your a GG that dates women and CDs does that make you bi.

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Originally Posted by niya blake

Hmm now here is a few questions if You are an MtF CD that likes women But you will date date other MtF Cd's doe that make you Bi ?

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From the guys who have tried to hit on me the answer is no. At least as long as the wig and skirt stay on. When those come off....I tend to make guys suddenly Olympic track stars. It all has to do with the smoke and mirrors. It is like the T-shirt says "I am not gay but my boyfriend is"

(I like the name Shanan...:)) So anyway, I agree with what you say, but as we both know the members here do tend to have separate ideas especially when it comes to "Them" personally.