10 things you didn’t know about MtF crossdressers

Happy belated birthday Freddie, this was a very nice gift to give to all of us who have come to your party. I'll put a bow on it and save it to bring out and share with those few who would really appreciate it.

There are a couple of things that stand out in your list and make me react, maybe even think. Most important are the following, not necessarily in this order; "This is FUN...", "I hadn’t seen the real me before, and there she was, reflecting back at me in the mirror."; and "I couldn’t handle a woman’s thankless “gig".

Your pokes at misinformation and stereotypes work well to point out some of the barriers we face if there is any desire to move beyond the fringe. But that's where we are and it's because there was never a place in the middle of our culture for crossdressing men. It's very much like those of us who spend 20 or more years developing as a crossdresser and then bursting out of the closet and wondering why our loved ones can't accept us within the first 20 or 30 minutes. Crossdressers have been scratching out a rich but limited existence on the Internet and in some of our cities and towns. If we focus on just that bit of the edge, it can seem like we should be accepted anywhere in society because we are out and proud in that nice, soft corner. But "Society" as you mention has it's own structure and expectations that sit right smack in the middle of our existence and it doesn't want to give up any of what has kept it safe, sound, stable and unsurprised for so very long.

Those of us who want to move away from the fringe toward the center, and can do it successfully are to be thanked for slowly and effectively lowering those barriers and changing the stereotypes. And you are to be thanked for laying out arguments that can be used, debated, nailed to the doors or turned to confetti, depending on the situation. What your words (and those of so many others here) accomplish is the creation of a new stereotype. That of the mtf crossdresser who is not a threat to a self-confident society, but someone who will work to create a peaceful, comfortable, enjoyable and entertaining contribution to that society.

Thanks for the conversation.

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Originally Posted by Bree_K

No..... closeted cross dressers are keeping themselves in the closet. Society put you there... but you can decide to hide, or you can show the world that you are out there.

Acceptance will never happen without exposure.

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thank you.
there is way too much whining and blaming and not enough taking responsibility in the CD community.

Happy belated birthday, and congratulations on 2,000 posts.

I enjoyed reading your thread. :hugs:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bree_K

No..... closeted cross dressers are keeping themselves in the closet. Society put you there... but you can decide to hide, or you can show the world that you are out there.

Acceptance will never happen without exposure.

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There are different closets. My SO is closeted at work and with family and some friends, she goes out regularly but in the next town over. She is happy with the balance that she has struck, but she is still closeted compared to someone who is TS and lives full time. I think that society accepts even less someone who is dualgender than a person who is decidedly one gender or the other.

I don't think you can compare the two. Also, for some people the difference might be all about living in a neighborhood where the houses are fairly far apart and there is a garage to leave from and return to, and living in the middle of a small town if your boss and family members live nearby. Everyone has different challenges.

This probably is too late, but Happy Birthday Frederique and thank you for your 2000 thoughtful posts.

Hannah

Happy birthday and as many would agree, a great 2000th post!

A belated happy birthday and 2000th post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I might take mild exception to 7) because I really don't detest effeminacy in anyone else and frankly when I'm dressed and out in public, others may (quite understandably) l presume that I am effeminate. But I'm fairly capable of disguising that fact when I'm en drab. And maybe even with 8). We aren't a community in the traditional sense - I grew up in a small rural community, where people interacted in a variety of venues - church, school, the local Farmers Union, etc. That kind of community hardly exists anymore. But by virtue of my presence here and in RL, I do feel sense of participation in the community of interests - within the GLBT "community", as a bisexual, transgendered person.

[SIZE="2"]I’m taking a break from writing (HOORAY!)... :clap:

...but I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge all of the kind words and well wishes expressed in responses to this thread – a huge THANK YOU from me to you all!!! I’ll try to get around to answering everyone, one way or another, privately if not publicly – I beg you to please be patient with me...
:)[/SIZE]

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

We aren't a community in the traditional sense - I grew up in a small rural community, where people interacted in a variety of venues - church, school, the local Farmers Union, etc. That kind of community hardly exists anymore. But by virtue of my presence here and in RL, I do feel sense of participation in the community of interests - within the GLBT "community", as a bisexual, transgendered person.

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[SIZE="2"]I live in a community like the one you have described, in fact I chose to live here, even though I do not participate in the community that I have chosen to be a part of. Therein resides a paradox, for the community does not acknowledge our “community.” I am thus compelled to stay at a safe distance from people who neither feel we are worthy of recognition, nor meant to be a visible or viable member of a largely conservative enclave. This taints my opinion of “communities,” but I carry on as I always have, a misfit who has fallen through the cracks in society, landing on my feet in some kind of alternative universe...

From my perspective, the GLBT community IS largely imaginary, but I am somewhat isolated and many miles away from coming in physical contact with that particular community – I only “see” it here, as a matter of fact. Also, I keep to myself, since my crossdressing emerged from that point – I am an existentialist in this regard, so I am naturally wary of communities. That being said, the GLBT community certainly exists as a political entity, but when I read about it I feel like I don’t belong, or I shouldn’t be seen as a proper representative. I’ve approached this discussion many different ways, chiefly in an attempt to define who or what we are – it all hinges on the word “transgendered,” which I have dissected ad infinitum, and the difference between a person who crossdresses and a transgendered individual. Simply put, if you don’t FEEL you’re a “T,” how can you possibly be part of GLBT?
:idontknow:

However, since I have declared on several occasions that I am bisexual, I suppose I am part of GLBT that way, and not because I wear women’s clothing for pleasure. Still, at the end of the day, I am very much “tucked” away, out of sight and out of everyone’s mind – don’t forget that I chose to live here for reasons of privacy! I also have a sense of participation in the community of interests, as Kim said, but that is a community of my own making. Feel free to carry on without me, whether you’re G, L, B, T, or something betwixt and between, but please don’t look down upon the lowly MtF crossdresser and his (her) fetishistic (and sometimes closeted) worship of forbidden objects. That’s the message I hear (read) from time to time, around here, and that is the origin of #8 in the OP...
:straightface:

Now look what you did – you started me writing again... :doh: [/SIZE]