Transgender for me
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Transgender for me
Ooh, yes.....tricky one.
Well I don't usually volunteer this information, but at times there is a strong sexual element to my dressing (says she in her French maid's uniform - see avatar). There are also times that it's all about gender expression. Sometimes I truly want to feel like a woman and there is nothing "weird" going on in my head about wanting to be this way. However, other times I have to admit that dressing seems like a "forbidden fruit" and that I shouldn't be doing it and somehow this makes it more exciting.
Anyway, my point is that the poll (unfortunately) doesn't or couldn't include enough categories to cover the entire spectrum.
Marla GG,
Nice post! People are complex, aren't they?! Yes, categorising whole sections of society can be heavy-handed and insensitive to the the true range of cultural diversity that surrounds us, but I don't believe this poll was intended to be divisive, or offend, or to alienate anyone (surely not here, on this forum of all places?).
It's only human to try and rationalise our own and others behaviour. Putting ourselves and others into pigeon-hole categories is just an easy way of doing that; a sort of social short-hand that means we can avoid having to think too much when there are other pressing demands needing our attention. At worst that can lead to lazy stereotyping, which can carry negative connotations fuelled by ignorance and a willful lack of understanding. I challenge anyone to honestly claim they never make these snap-judgements about people we meet everyday, and put labels on them, sometimes good, sometimes bad, without getting to know them, often simply based on how someone looks? Labels can be wrong.
But the flip side is that it's also human to want to 'belong', to find others with whom one can identify and empathise. If it wasn't for this human tendency to stick labels on vast groups of society, I would never have found this forum on a Google search. Thank god I have! Sometimes those labels can be used as a rallying cry, such as 'Gay Pride', and used for positive action. Labels can be good.
As for the sexual element, I guess any Freudian would say sexual angst drives all behaviour. I think that's since been debunked, and probably says more about Freud than society. For some here, there's no doubt or shame in feeling their behaviour is purely motivated by a sexual thrill whilst en femme. We're all important human beings with a valid reason to be here. The sexual thrill may also apply to those who identify with another category (or none, or don't know), but perhaps it isn't the reason why they CD, or are TG or TS. You see, the old-school Freudian psychologists would have us all pegged here as being motivated in our CD, TG or TS behaviour by some sexual angst, probably as a result of a childhood trauma. We just know that isn't true, don't we? So maybe in the backlash against this, the support organisations you refer to have gone to the other extreme, particularly now there's more known to day about genetics and theories about hormonal impacts on a developing foetus that may affect our behaviour.
It appears you and most of the people on here have got a more sophisticated understanding, probably because you are so close to the issue and actually care about it.
I'm a Crossdresser! Tried and true. I love being a Man. I also like dressing as a woman and trying to in every way look and act during that time like a passable woman. I love dressing enfemme.
Would I be anything else if I could be? Prolly not! I would like to have breast surgery to make my Breast larger. But only with the a doctor that has done loads of them. I'd also like to win the lottery. LOLOLOLOL
Haley:)
This was an easy one for me. Transsexual. Getting closer and closer as time goes on. :)
Crossdresser: You enjoy dressing fully as a woman but are happy with your life as a male. BUT I have a feminine being inside that LOVE'S to dress up all the time and my wife allways tell me that i should of been a GIRL so this is my change to be a GIRL (part time) I love dressing as a woman and trying to do everything as a female way look and act during that time like a woman. I love geting all dresed up trying new things dressing . But I still keep the man inside of me for all the other time
Marla, thanks for posting that. It's a simple question that comes to my mind here: If sexy lingerie didn't excite men, why would companies even manufacture and sell it in the first place? If pretty clothing on women didn't turn a man's head and arouse him, why would feminine clothing have evolved the way it did? Whether man or woman, the clothes we wear is designed to attract and in many cases, arouse the other sex. Is it any wonder that a man who finds women especially arousing when she's wearing a lace ensemble and stockings/heels, etc. would not get equally aroused if he were to wear these things himself? The same goes for pretty skirts and dresses, etc. Sure, absolutely there is a factor of expression of the feminine parts of our natures here. But I, for one, have always found crossdressing to be rather arousing as well. I won't deny it. After all, many of us have claimed to have put the shame involved here back in the drawer, and we haven't come to this point by living in denial.
There is a sexual aspect to it that goes way beyond the simple "fetish" category. I dress to "be" a woman. But I also find it arousing to do so. And I'm willing to bet that women who totally accept this behavior in their husbands do so as well. Just a guess.
Marla, you rock. Every time you post here, you have something relevant to say. Keep it coming.
An interesting poll, Julie, although there are always people who read way too much into this sort of thing (not mentioning any names ;)).
I am sure Julie is fully aware as all of us are that we are all individual and cannot be 100% pidgeonholed. However, for the sake of intellectual interest and broad statistics it can be interesting to form some rough categories. Having read many of Julie's other posts I am quite sure she does not think that the whole spectrum can be boiled down into the above list - that would be tantamount to saying that Harry Benjamin Scale was an accurate reflection of the transgender phenomenon, which although a semi-useful guide is also patently a huge oversimplification! :)
What I find truly fascinating is how people can shift along the spectrum. Personally for example, I definitely used to get sexual kicks from a little crossdressing (ie. Julie's fetishistic category) when I was in my early teens, but it moved from there towards more just the wanting to be in full female attire, then died out almost completely once I realised that there was no way I would ever pass. More recently, the desire to be female has become utterly overpowering and I am now a full-steam-ahead transsexual who plans to transition as fast as safely possible ie. start to finish, including FFS and GRS, within a year.
Kate.
Hi,
I think I'm probably in the first category "Transvestic Fetish" but, depending on your definition of fully dressed may be in the second category "Crossdresser". "When you say Fully dressed as a woman" does that include wigs and makeup? When I dress I wear lingerie skirt and top or dress, stockings or tights and boots but no wig and no makeup. I'm not against it but it does seem like a lot of hassle for me (can't cope with having hair again). Also, no femme name. I'm quite happy to be Mark whether dressed or not.
I'm not keen on the word Transvestite. It sounds like something you get if you don't wash your hands. Crossdresser is a much nicer word and is really justan English translation of the Greek word Transvestite. I don't mind the fetish part at all. I'm pretty sure that's what it is with me and am quite happy with it. I always use the word crossdresser but my reason for crossdressing is fetishistic.
I'm going to vote in category 1 as us fetishistic crossdressers seem to be lagging a bit in the poll but I definetely think a lot of the category 2 description applies to me too.
What do you think?
Mark.
Not necessarily. I started aged 2 or 3, just mucking around wearing a pair of my mum's panties and I noticed that the tactile sensations were arousing, even at that age. I also got caught by my mum and made to feel like sh*t, hence the 30 years of guilt and self-loathing that I've been through. Maybe I was precocious, but I can remember the confusion, thinking "How can it be wrong when it feels so nice?"Quote:
Originally Posted by tammycd
Soz folks, gone off topic, but that sorta opened up a wound. By the way, great post from Marla, I couldn't agree more. :thumbsup:
Way to go Marla! I agree the categories just reinforce stereotypes about "nasty" fetishitic TVs and "noble" CDs and TGs (and TSs) whose dressing have nothing, nothing to do sex. Sorry folks, but the available evidence is that there's a far messier picture. I mostly dress to go out these days, but I still enjoy dressing for pleasure at times. Likewise, I know some full-time TGs (and who may transition) who love hanging out at fetish events. And I doubt the autogynephilia wouldn't have touched such a nerve if people weren't afraid there was a bit of truth in it.
(Without getting into the merits of theory, it's worth noting that Blanchard formulated it as a way to expand the behavior that was "acceptable" for SRS candidates who were routinely denied SRS if they acknowledged any sexual feelings related to their TGism.)
So as Marla said, let's acknowledge that is sometimes is sexual for a number of us. The problem isn't the sexuality, the problem arises when people cheat on their spouses, engage in unsex behaviors, etc.
Hi Darla (and everyone else!),
Yep, cheating is despicable when otherwise pretending to be faithful to a partner. Anyway, I'm still hooked on the 'category' debate...
In the UK 'transgender' or 'TG' tends to be used as an all inclusive term that covers/celebrates every point on the gender spectrum, from extreme masculine to extreme feminine behaviour, regardless of ones apparent birth sex. Is that meaning the same in the US, or for that matter the world over?
Perhaps the problem is that it's OK to voluntarily acquire a social label (hundreds have in this poll), but personally offensive if anyone else tries to force a label on you that you do not identify with, or may even find derogatory?
Language may be imperfect, but we should acknowledge the need to develop some sort of lexicon of terminology to explain and understand the way we feel. The trouble is that traditionally this terminology has been developed by psychologists, doctors, academics and politicians (the establishment/outsiders, I suppose like Blanchard). In this age of the 'global village' and mass communication it is now possible for us (the people!) to organise and discuss what we think and believe as a world community, like never before. We now have the power to take control of how this terminology is used, we can redefine it, and we can evolve it how we want.
I'd like to click one of the buttons, but I can't. The descriptions are too narrow to define how I feel about myself. I guess, however, I must be a cross between number one and two.
I don't like the terminology, but Transvestic Fetish would be the best description of me. I'm not super macho, I'm not femme, I'm just a guy who gets turned on by articles of women's clothing. But unlike many fetishists, I don't like any of the kinky stuff (leather, fishnets, thongs, heels, makeup, wigs, etc). I just like the regular normal stuff, and only when it is worn by a real woman or by me.
Labels... yuck!
I fit none of them you have listed and neither does about 90% of the people here. What this poll is doing is a form of sterotyping people and that is not the best solution here. I will not pretend I know the first two things because I don't. Society on the other hand could not label me in those groups either.
I was born a mix of XY and XX, intersex, hermathodite, both male and female. I was assigned male at birth and raised as a boy. I started exhibiting classical crossdressing at an early age (about 5) and knew at about 8 I was a girl. I currently am undergoing the initial parts gender reassignment which actually works in my case, although the term transexual does not. I am not fliping or going to the opposite sex (definition of trans) because I am genetically both sexes. I am not really changing sex either, I am choosing one over the other in a dual that has me as a 12 year old pre pubrital child at 23 years of age making a grown up decision.
So lets see
I am a transgendered transexual intersexed crossdresser who is genetically a hermathodite, male assigned, auto(whatever the word was), assexual, unable to produce any of the essential hormones that makes us male or female.
No I am a girl, screw the labels!
In todays world it is becoming harder and harder to define. The only label I go with is transperson, it eliminates everything else and lets me be ME. There is no other reason to put us in a box anyway.
Sexual feelings is another story!
Mandy
I find it easiest to consider myself transgendered. It's why I dress in varied ways, whether it's full blown girl or just some items. I don't dress for erotic reasons, but I do feel sexy when dressed. I think women are sexy. I sometimes wish I could be a woman, but I'd never transition as I know it would never work. I've 50 years of being a man, it would not work.
A friend sent me some pictures ... guy likin' ones ... and I just felt this powerful longing to be that woman. It comes and goes. I sometimes feel bad because I think I may be trying to be something I can never be. Yeah, reincarnation is the ticket. Until then, it's just be me and don't beat myself up about it, about what I think and feel.
And I too give kudos to MarlaGG for her post! Sex IS a powerful component of human nature!
I waffle between 2 and 3.
Hi Marla,Quote:
Originally Posted by Marla GG
Thank you for your response to this thread was very eloquently written and which reflects many of my views. :bravo2:
While I tend to the Crossdresser 'label' (yuk), there are times when I feel aroused when en femme but I'm not particularly bothered whether its the clothes etc that cause it or whether it is just me feeling sexy and horny.
Certainly my wife is aware that there are times when the erotic takes priority and she is more that happy to indulge me.
Oh my! This is so difficult for me to place myself. I'm a 1.. or is that a 2.... or maybe I'm a 3. There are aspects ofall of these for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie
D: all the above
kymmie
I openly consider myself as a CD. I am hetero and enjoy being with women and have no desires to transition. I also adore the femme side of myself, the inner woman, and enjoy being "Lauren." There is something that is part of us, as CD's that allow us to reach in and allow the woman in all of us out, even if it is for a short period of time. As such, I yearn to wear the clothing that society typically associates with GG's.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie
Using the term, 'transgender', to me, encompasses both CD's and TS's. Why? Because both transcend or cross the boundries of what is considered as 'normal gender.' And gender is based upon what is between the ears, not the legs.
With that said, I feel that CD's are truly transgendered, as are TS's. Only TS's desire to go further and have their sex changed by surgery and hormone therapy.
Lauren
TGMarla, You have best answered how I could answer this poll. I would say that I started many years ago with the fetish angle being most prevelant. As the years roll by I am inclined to place myself into #2-3. My life requires me to be male for my family and I would not want that to change. Though I want to be a woman at times for me! I dress more provacativly than my wife ever would at times, probably because she doesn't! Yes, it does turn me on. Lately, I find I dress much more conservativly and this is just as pleasing to me as when I dress for "fetish". I guess this moves me down the list from a 1 to a 2 or 3.
Somewhere between 1 and 2. I rarely dress fully, but I am always in pantyhose.
On another recent thread, I stated that I don't know for sure if I would have ever crossdressed if it weren't for hosiery. Skirts and panties and high heels are nice, but without pantyhose, I don't know if I ever would have started or continued dressing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cathy J
Same here.
Aloha,
I also agree, good question, however the answers for most of us seems to be more complicated than the options given. Perhaps a poll on this subject is too limiting.
Anyway dears, count me in as loving to dress and act en femme, but very happy as a male. For me, being bi-sexual (what am I if I love liaisons with other "girls) also plays a big part in my preferences, or lack thereof.
I do hope we all find our little niche in this world to call our own! Nothing worse than being lost in a sea of humanity alone.