CDing around Kids

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Originally Posted by suzy1

I wouldn’t put my children through that for anything. Children always come first.

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I understand completely where you are coming from, but this as an argument just doesn't sound right.
Bullying somebody because his or her dad dress as a woman, is not something that is OK to ridicule anymore.
And if there are people who should understand it in the first place , it's us, also we should be the example and some kind of education
for others, to show that despite our difference we are as good or bad people as any other people.

If kids want to bully other, they will always find some reason - big nose, bad hair color.. you name it.
Following this argument, gays should never have right to take care of children etc..

We should be proud for who we are , and I don't mean shove it in other people's faces, but just standing our ground.
Kids won't really care , and if they do, I'm pretty sure it's not crossdressing that bothers them or making their life bad,
it's something more serious than that

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Originally Posted by Purple8229

Hahahaha! Yeah, and cats don't give a rats ass!

'

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Not sure this is always true. My cat seems to give me a funny look and has put more than a run or two in my stockings. Not sure what that means!
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I wasn't sure from reading the OP whether this was a custody situation or just an opportunity that you would be alone with your son. If it were custody I would say definitely don't do it because while it does not have to be an issue in a custody situation frequently it is one. In any case a 15 month old might be very active crawling around and so forth so I don't even know how much time you might have.


I posted the same question myself on a different CD forum 5 years ago with the same intent as the original poster. Its good to get a range of opinions and I am glad I got the same thing when i originally posted. Ultimately its your decision.

I know my attitude about this had changed from the time before I had kids and then after and I would definitely consider that when you evaluate some of the inputs you have gotten. You can never truly say what you would or wouldn't do with your kids until you have them.

Good luck.

Just my 2cents:
There is no definitive answer for any question like this. Yes there are people who will say "do this" or "do that" but the reality is every person in every environment is different. Can you leverage odds on things based on feedback, sure, but like any situation it will vary depending on the who's and when's. me personally- I'd never CD in front of my child. It took me a long time to begin to understand my CD urges and to large extent I still don't. While I am sure my children would eventually accept anything "Daddy" does, they may never understand it. Why put them through it.

Yes in my situation why put her through it? It's not worth it if it backfires and it came out somehow. Everyone, teachers, classmates would all treat her differently. Is that right? Of course not but maybe it is. Maybe they are right and we are wrong. Reality.
Sometimes I do think it is about shame. How are you gonna teach the child to accept differences to be themselves when you can't openly be you?
Bottom line, there is something wrong with you. We sit up here and talk about how it's ok to CD. It's very wrong to CD, if it wasn't then why the issue in the first place.

Hell I didn't ask for it, but it's still wrong.

Okay. I have kids and many posters here are heated in their viewpoints. If you don't have kids - I' going to say it - you have no right to tell anyone what to do. You can have your opinions, but until you have a child's existence in your control ( really - who can say they have any semblance of control) you need to respect the parents. You do a huge disservice to your kids if you're known as the dad who wears a dress. Childhood is screwed up enough without dealing with this baggage. I'll tell my kids when I'm good and ready and when they can deal with it. There's no shame in it, just ones ability to survive at Schiller and in life. And I wil NEVER put my kids in a position where the have to explain aways issues they can't deal with.

I never did it in front of my kids and still don't. They don't even know.:hugs:
Angie

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Originally Posted by bimini1

Bottom line, there is something wrong with you. We sit up here and talk about how it's ok to CD. It's very wrong to CD, if it wasn't then why the issue in the first place.

Hell I didn't ask for it, but it's still wrong.

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Oh, c'mon. You really didn't say that did you? The issue is prejudice and being taught it is wrong for no reason except ignorance. I will defer to parents who don't want their children to see it, but teaching your children it is "wrong"?

I agree with everyone who said no. With all the turmoil and growing pains they have to endure, why add to that.

At the same time I also teach them to be accepting and non judging of people until you yourself learn otherwise. That doesn't mean a friend said this about him or someone said this about her.

I have a three year old and a ten month old. Both have never seen me dressed. I have nothing against people who choose to bring the dressing around their children. I hate what I see on television, and all of that is way worse than explaining dressing. I would hate to explain gangs, drugs, and sex to my children at an early age...but let's face it, that's what the world deems a "good tv show" now.

good points Jessica

I can't tell my son. He already know the difference between boys and girls and seeing daddy dressed in heels would not only confuse him but I think will have a negative effect on him too. The reason I came to this conclusion is because I listen to what he says. I do want him to be a open minded person but on his terms not by me influencing him.

I never CD'd around my children and they still do not know about me doing this. Only my wife does (and this forum). :)
Di

My humble opinion is to not CD around kids - childhood being confusing/challenging without this added stressor makes a lot of sense to me but to each his own. We all have the right to do as we see fit with our own children...within reason of course! :)

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Originally Posted by suzy1

...Lorileah, you say you don’t have children. Then I am compelled to say you can’t know what it feels like to have your own children suffer. I know you meen well and a good and feeling person...

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I don't have children either and probably won't, Suzy, but I have had a lot of problems with bullying, both through primary and secondary school as well as later in life as an adult. I know what it's like.

Taking away opportunities for third-party bullying is the sole reason I've stayed completely away from romantic relationships up to now. This is not the best solution, but it worked. It is also very costly for obvious reasons.

The best way to control bullying is identification of the culprits and dealing with it as a mental health issue. If that fails, teaching them bullying has enforceable consequences to them is a fall back position.

Bullying certainly existed when I was a kid and I know I was forced to fight a few times that i would prefer to forget.

I will note that at least in my kids schools starting with elementary school and into middle school bullying was something that was always discussed and there were active efforts in those schools to identify it and punish that type of behavior. If I were to ask my kids they would not say that it didn't exist, but it was not as much of a problem as I have seen in my time. It was therefore not a factor in my decision about telling or not telling my kids.

My 11 yr old daughter is here beside me after reading all your responses and says" it is no big deal and Dad is always Dad,no matter how dressed". As I said earlier,she has been a part of our accepting household since she was five. Because I push openmindedness and diversity accompanied by acceptance,she will be a better person for it.If you are so ashamed of your hobby,then you can skip it. It is far more than a hobby for me,so an accepting and understanding household is a must.

Rogina as I stated in one of my earlier posts this is a personal choice (and no one can make that choice for you) that people must make regarding their own children. I do not believe that someone has to tell your children every detail of their private life. For instance you wouldn't necessarily be telling your child that you plan on having sex tonight, there is no need to know.

It is good to discuss the topic and present a variety of viewpoints, but what works for you may not be appropriate for anyone else. I was a bit disturbed to learn that you let your daughter read this forum. I believe this is against forum rules as this is strictly an adult forum.

A friend of a friend had a sex change a couple of years ago he/she has children. When they are out together the kids think of him/her as an aunt.

Maria

I got a 9 yr old daughter that knows about my crossdressing. Reason i eventually told her is because my ex wife was going to use my CD as a weapon in our devorce, hoping my daughter would be shocked that bad that she would refuse to stay with me. Haha, that sure backfired on her. When i told my daughter about it, she replied with "oooh mommy allready told me but she told me that you wear dresses....". In short, my ex told my daughter in the most ulgly way possible. So my daughter asked to see it. Wich for me was fine, once... if i expected my daughter to understand me and understand that what her mom told her was not what it was about, i had to show her. So i did. Knees shaking, trembling all over from fear over her reaction, it was all there when i walked out the bathroom. But more than the first initial giggle, my daughter reacted in a way i never could have imagined. She absolutely loves it. She sees what it all does to me and she compares that to the daddy from before the devorce...and she flat out told me that she was more then ok with it. So i told her to keep it to herself because not everyone reacts the same, actually, some people might take offence to it. "Ooh, you mean like mommy?" And there i was...my 9 yr old grasped the essence of the whole thing in like 5 minutes.... "Dont worry daddy, its our secret and always remember i love you always. You will always be my daddy." So in short...for me telling my daughter was the best thing i ever did. If i wouldnt have, and my daughter would have been stuck with what her mom told her, the result would be totaly different if and when she eventually would have found out. And now, 5 months further...my daughter even asks for me to dress occasionally... Its a complex issue with no clear cut answer that works for everyone.

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Originally Posted by darla_g

I do not believe that someone has to tell your children every detail of their private life. For instance you wouldn't necessarily be telling your child that you plan on having sex tonight, there is no need to know.

It is good to discuss the topic and present a variety of viewpoints, but what works for you may not be appropriate for anyone else. I was a bit disturbed to learn that you let your daughter read this forum. I believe this is against forum rules as this is strictly an adult forum.

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Obviously this is a private hobby for you and equating it to announcing you are planning on having sex is probably a poor comparison. This part of the forum is open to anyone that can click a mouse,whether they are 9 or 99 years old.Not sure if you knew that.

I think it goes down to what dressing up eventually means to you, and what person you become. If you can behave like a normal girl and are confident I don't see any issue

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Originally Posted by Matia

I think it goes down to what dressing up eventually means to you, and what person you become. If you can behave like a normal girl and are confident I don't see any issue

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You see, I disagree. This has nothing to do with "you" it has everything to do with the child. I'd just wait until they are older and more emotionally and socially mature.

Hi Julie, I have two grown daughters and have kept it from them.

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Originally Posted by Sophia Frances

You see, I disagree. This has nothing to do with "you" it has everything to do with the child. I'd just wait until they are older and more emotionally and socially mature.

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Ok, so what if you are transsexual , would you deny them the transition? What about the gay couples, should they be banned raising children ? I don't think so, and so often I see that crossdressers are
seen as something nasty that children cannot grasp. Society needs everything in approved boxes, only then it is alright ? I think that if children are raised in loving , even if somehow different enviroment
it doesn't mean they cannot understand or love their parents. And the social pressure ? it will never be different if crossdressers will not find some emancipation too. Through studying I realised that I am bigender person, that means I am happy as both a man and a woman. Do you want to call me selfish for who I am ? In my case I have hare lip, i sound "funny" when I talk. I had to endure bullying as a child, and I'm sure people still make fun of me or comment on how I speak now. Did it harm me ? Actually I think it helped me open up toward crossdressing, being used that either people judge me superficially or they care for who I really am.

I want to be honest to my kids, I want them to respect me fully as I am , and I don't believe that would work if I pretended to be someone I am not. I would like my parents however they'd wish to dress.