Uncomfortable

Moose,
I can see how it is for you, dress in private seems to be the best outlet, try to meet others in male mode, there is gratification in doing that as you can talk about each others activities without being busted.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and why not engage in your own private fantasy.

Don't get too frustrated about it.

It is what it is.

Sort of a semi-silly statement, but it does describe the reality. What we're talking about here is Life and how our Lives fit into the World. In all of our Lives, there are things that we are thankful for and things that we despise to the core. But the question is: How much of ourselves are we willing to invest in trying to change what we despise?

Further, I would not say do not try to change a source of aggravation. But, are you prepared to invest that energy in view of a wide range of possible outcomes? It becomes a question of what we are willing to sacrifice. While we can manage our own behaviors (hopefully!), the behavior of others is beyond our direct control. The reactions you might get if you present as you would like creates the distinct possibility that there will be consequences. Never mind your whizzing and moaning; are you prepared for the probable consequences?

That is the question that only you can answer.

Thanks Flatlander,

I *have* been living with the consequences of being 'off gender' for quite a while. I guess at the heart of it I'm bugged by the fact that it is SUCH a big deal.

I get that there is a lot of history/evolutionary things to how 'attraction' works, both positive & negative. If you don't like something, DON'T GO THERE. No need to belittle those who present something outside of what you personally LIKE.

You don't need to sacrifice anything to allow someone to be different than what you like.. there are so many other fish in the sea. Why does it generate such vitriol?

I think that a girl who presents like Ernest Borgnine should get a pass. If a person doesn't like that, then move along to someone who does!

- MM

Yes, but you have to recognize that anything we do as crossdressers is outside of usually expected behavior as it is. What you're talking about is another layer on top of that.

You also have to think about possible reaction within our community. It would be not unlike the reaction to drag queens in pride marches. There are those who believe that drag queens present a negative image and that impacts the progress of the LGBT community at large. In both cases, the thought rubs me the wrong way, but we cannot ignore reality, or at least potential reality.

How our Lives fit into the World is a significant consideration, whether we like it or not.

And further, Passes are few and far between.