Uncomfortable feelings

At times I do. But my family needs my man side. Even if my wife is the only one that knows I dress.:hugs:
Angie

The older I get, the less comfortable I am in guy clothes; As soon as I get home I have to change and get into a skirt or a dress if I'm gone too long (5 hours seems to be the limit now). I still leave the house drab to take care of business, but I feel I still need to do it this way in order to avoid complicating my life any further.

I have a Boyfriend and even he accept me either way I present myself, I feel uncomfortable when I am at his side and not dressed enfeme

Claire, I understand exactly how you feel and I had similar feelings at the New Years party I attended.

Six GGs and five guys, myself included. None of them know about Eryn. I'm dressed in my boy clothes, though the jeans are actually black ladies' 505s with very subtle embellishments. I was wearing some holiday earrings in the shape of little red bells.

We met at a restaurant and while waiting for a table everyone is socializing. One of the women present has always been accepting of my male presentation which often includes small femme elements like earrings. She has complimented me on them in the past. At this occasion she brought out several necklaces of plastic beads. I initially thought that they were for everyone, but no, they were just for the ladies.

I realize that this is a trivial matter and that most people won't really understand it, but emotionally I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I'm very lucky that I get to have a lot of feminine experiences and interactions, but sometimes the fact that I don't really belong is driven home unmistakably.

That's a very insightful observation, Eryn. I have to say, with each passing year I feel a stronger desire to share those one of the girls moments, on those occasions when I cannot....and less enthusiasm for sitting around the bull pen with the other guys engaged in macho small talk.

I am a late bloomer. I am completely comfortable in drab. Being in drab most of the time, say six days a week, makes being enfemme, say one day a week, that much more different, sensuous. Being enfemme that one day a week makes choosing to go back to drab that much better. I like being a guy. I like being a guy who is wearing a dress and knows that I can choose to be either. I like the freedom that CDing has brought.

I sympathize with those who are compelled to dress and those who are in the wrong body gender. I have not experienced their longings but that does not stop me from offering support and friendship. Like a gay person offering friendship and support to a hetero person. We don't need to have experience with their burden to offer simple human compassion judgement free.

But as a late bloomer I am unsure about how long I can keep doing this before I just look like an old man in a dress. So I hope to be enfemme once a week on average.

This is SUCH FUN!

Thanks again everyone for your posts to this thread. It's interesting that many of us feel more comfortable en femme the older we get -- I know I do.

Barbara, that was a very touching comment about your boyfriend.

Eryn, I very much empathize with your comments about "left out" when not being treated as female. I do find that when I am en drab but with a group of GG's who know about me, I seem to be more included. Not 100%, it's true, but certainly to some extent. Perhaps if the group includes people who don't know about us, those who do are just trying to be careful not to "out" us?

At the New year's brunch that set this off I found myself more often with groups of women than with groups of guys -- but I would rather be with women anyway. At least I feel more comfortable with them, no matter my presentation.

I wouldn't say that I'm uncomfortable in drab. Most of the time being, and dressing as, a guy is just fine. Except when I catch sight of some nice jewellery that I'd like to wear or a nice dress or ... (add any of the many visual triggers) and I just want to slip into "Judith mode". Typical hetero male cross-dresser I suppose!

Judith

I'm not uncomfortable in drab. Dressing as a guy is fine by me. I do however, get more of urge to dress if I see clothes I would like, or girl wearing something that I would love to have. Then, the need to dress becomes very intense. If I can't dress for some reason to fulfill the urge, then I get rather irritable and not fun to be around! :)