Primal...
Primal...
At times I hate being a male ,I love my female side
if you dont identify as anything other than a CD,
not fluid
not trans
not TS
not BI
not gay
First of all I feel that I am just a CD, No other terms fit me at all.
how you feel as a man?
Tough question, Never really felt comfortable being a guy. So how does it feel.
It feels like an act, not the true me. just a part in the play that I got stuck doing. :doh:
I never was into the guy things, No sports, no big guy activities for me.
I feel like me, I dont know any other feeling, Im not gay, Im alone/ single have been most of my adult life. I am a father/ not allowed to be a Dad by the Mother, she hates me for being a cross dresser, I have good days and bad just like anyone. I work hard, I do guy things like cars and enjoy the social aspects of that, street racing/ drag racing, car cruises although Im poor and limited to my activities, Im new to any public aspect of this CD side of me, im making new friends or trying to at least. Lately Ive been wrestling with just where I fit into this "spectrum" I went to Trans Gender public group recently, went away rather disappointed with the experience, the group is for Transitioning women, I dont take hormones and am not interested in doing so, (1 of the main conversation topics, that and the group leader seemed most interested in talking about herself) Ive been dressing androgynous in public for some years. I am me, I dont know anything else.
Except for my current bout of ultra low "T" (I FINALLY got the testosterone prescription approved and refilled today and have given myself the first injection on the road back to feeling better), it usually feels pretty dang good to be male. I like most "male" activities very much (sports, cars, super-hero/sci-fi/fantasy/action movies, etc.) The cd'ing/underdressing part is simply a quirk or characteristic of who I am and what constitutes the "WHOLE" me. It's almost like being able to re-install that rib that the Bible says God took from Adam to create Eve.......I'm able to re-connect with my "Eve" side and feel whole again........there's no other way to explain it. I feel "different" but very good while cd'ing. But, I don't feel "female" or even "feminine" since I am and always will be biologically male and really, truly can't feel those things fully without actually being biologically female. HRT and surgery can only do so much.
I have really pondered this question. Hell on Heels seems to have summed up my position rather well:
As a male, who is a CD, I guess I just feel like me.
Put me in a dress, heels, wig, and makeup... I'm still me!
There's no split personality issues going on within my head!"
I'm not sure what it means to feel like a female. I have a full range of male interests and few if any interests normally identified for females. Hence I cannot say that I feel like a female when out en femme. Occasonally it seems odd to me to be out en femme, yet at the same time I would not, or could not, change this situation. It is too natural, too right somehow. I guess the gender issue just dosn't pertain to me, as I cannot grasp it. I'm quite happy with my gender and being a CD. Judging from the numerous posts on this I do see it as really serious issue for some people but not for me. Take away my CD interest and I would be just like any other guy. I don't know what difference adding in the CD side of me really makes.
I totally have the best of both worlds, And I surely can handle lf that,.
I'm bisexual and I love crossdressing, but I don't want to be a girl. I just do it because sometimes I like to be feminine, just that.
I've centered around being frankly 'a man in a dress', and that the choice of a dress/type of dress communicates my belief that men can and should share the fun and value [and hassles] of dresses with women. Wearing a dress communicates the obvious corollary that we can also share the fun and value and hassles of feminine feelings and behavior as well.
I am confident that many men and women would just as soon be free to mix and match clothing and behavior, and not to have to be consistent. It is challenging, since it opposes the accepted norm that it is OK/ necessary to police male/masculine and female/feminine norms. It isn't ok/necessary, just makes it convenient for people to avoid having to adjust every minute to someone else's sense of identity. Standing up for the value of being flexible allows a lot of useful freedom for a lot of men and women, and will make a much more humane society, and liberate a lot of new energy in relationships.
Time to move on!
BTW if anyone is in the SF Bay Area and agrees with me -PM me and let's work up a social consciousness raising event!
I like being a male. If I would want to be a woman I would dress as one all of the time.
However I thoroughly enjoy dressing as a woman and acting as one. I enjoy my feminine alter ego. But do like to go back to my original self.
I'm happy being a man. However, I have a few feminine qualities. I also find that I enjoy having conversation with women, more so than men. I identify with more things geared to women, than men. However, I am NOT an effeminate man....just a regular guy. And yet, when I wear my female clothing, I tend to adopt a female attitude, and I walk, sit and FEEL like a woman at that point.
I agree with Piora I am just a guy I am only a underdresser but I get along better with females than males always have love riding my Harley but I am a lone wolf and a homebody
I believe most crossdressers have a degree of gender dysphoria, but it's not enough to push us into transition. Dressing by itself satisfies the itch—and for me that doesn't include dresses. Just tops, jeans, shorts, underthings, plus a little makeup, a little scent, and a woman's shoulder bag. I am happily a man, a married man, but a femmey man. Where does that place me in the continuum? I don't know and don't care.
I am outwardly as male as they come. I think, though, l would rather be female.
I feel great as a man, and in bliss when crossdressed. I love both aspects of my being, but as I get older, I find the femme side is becoming stronger.
I will continue to enjoy my spiritual journey and let it take me where it will.
Di
I am just me, you are just you; who needs labels? just be!
luv J
so first off thanks for all who responded, the question seems to have faded so i will share my"self",
i put some rules in so we wouldnt tread on some other open threads, one being "gender fluid"....it is why i wanted to exclude responses from those who self describe as fluid, trans ect. i also have another thread in another section "how does it feel to be a women" went much smoother than the confusion that occurred here, no one took the term as a personal attack but we have so many terms to describe ourselves. maybe there is some kind of hierarchy ? what i think stood out the most is that folks dont read or just dont care to follow rules and those who identify as men cant get in touch with theyre feelings. i had some who identified as female respond, not what i asked for, there were some fluid folks who responded ? some who liked to feel feminine ?
below is a link from another thread, you will find my answer there......but you summed it up quite well...Quote:
Originally Posted by ClosetED
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t=gender+fluid
thank you, you get it, i did however not want to know the impact of CDing to be questioned, just how it felt to be a man, male feelings.Quote:
Originally Posted by becky77
we did however get lots of what becky described, enjoying the time en-femme, feeling feminine.
my premise was pure, nothing nefarious, this was asked of myself in another thread, it took a few PMs and responses to that thread but i felt i left what was my most personal response and reflection of myself on the table in that thread.....
this was not something that one could answer for you....it was something that is in you....its deep.....its something that is hard to share with folks....its a venerability. what man wants to show or share that ?
i pulled just a few quotes to reply too and wanted to reply to many but these seemed to pull everything together.
here is a link to the other thread by me....they had no issue following the rule....
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...en-only-please
I consider myself just a CD and very much enjoy being a man sometimes. I love to get dressed up in a nice suit and dress shoes, smoke cigars, etc.
I don't know how it *feels* though. Just natural, I guess. I've always been a male. I feel strong, masculine, independant.
When I want to be a girl, it feels natural also though. I've crossdressed for twenty-four years, so it's nothing new. Sometimes I just want to feel softer, more feminine. And enjoy it very much. It just all depends on my mood.
Well, yes, erm... Difficult to relate to without going off into some of the not's you've asked us not to comment on.Quote:
Originally Posted by mikell
I was born a boy and brought up as one - although looking back over my life, I know that Mum and my Aunts had all wanted daughters and perhaps some of that rubbed off on me ultimately causing a subconscious CD undercurrent that manifested itself in my 20's. I suppose I may have been a little different in not liking rough sports such as football or rugby at school but did and do like a lot of what are termed 'boys' pursuits. I wanted to be and trained as an engineer in both practical and theoretical terms - in my mid-30's, I went to university to top up my qualifications to an engineering degree. I drive a desk and computer these days in a very male orientated engineering business. Previously I was very much a hands-on engineer working in a small, all male team getting my hands dirty and taking a pride in keeping the machinery going in tip-top order. I enjoy my job immensely and my hobby takes me back to being a hands-on engineer restoring vintage steam machinery in again, a very male orientated team. (Hopefully) nobody has guessed my alta ego!
Sometimes the 'pink fog' drifts in and I find it quite difficult to deal with. Don't know what triggers it - stress of a particularly difficult project / task or perhaps a beautifully dressed woman walks by and I think, 'how I'd like to get dressed up like her'
I'd say for 80-90% of the time, I'm quite happy being the provider for my family and doing big boys 'things' but as many have commented, sometimes 'things' build up inside you and the only way to relieve the stress is to turn from chrysalis into butterfly to relieve the stress for a few hours and calm down. Afterwards, apart from a few flash-backs in the following hours, it's back to being a man be it for a few days or sometimes a few weeks.
As to my feelings towards GGs, we do have quite a lot of GGs in work, some are fellow engineers and I treat them as equals. Likewise with our PA's and technical clerks. I still try to do the 'right thing' and open doors to them and generally treat them with respect. I try and compliment them if they're looking nice (perhaps more so because I know what it takes to get to that state!) although I sometimes think to myself, wouldn't I look good in this or that outfit... I also tend to notice their mannerisms probably with a view to following their footsteps when I turn into a butterfly. I've been married to my wife for many, many years and I try to be a good husband.
There, that's my take on the situation. I hope it helps.
xx Polly
I guess I am Bi-Polar in that respect, I can redneck it up with the best of them but really like a pink bra and cami. Flows with my mood.
I feel like me. I do what I do regularity. I would say I feel different in girl mode. More relaxed like I am getting away with something that doesn't hurt anyone.
When I become Martha, I become a lovely, feminine woman.
When I am in male mode, I am regular guy.
I feel like I normally do as a guy. I mean, I do have a house to take care of and I have my factory job to deal with, watch sports, go out hiking, etc. I'll dress up when I feel in the mood to do so and have some free time to sit around and enjoy being dressed up... because it's hard to blend in the real world when alot of your outfits need a petticoat or hoop skirt!
Love being a guy. I was born a male, love sports, love growing a beard, love oggling ladies. Except, being an alter ego is fun. I like wearing jump suits.
Having been primarily an alpha 'in-charge' male my entire 6 decades, I feel like I have short-changed my CDing or transgender sole. I feel that if I had followed my CD dreams at an earlier age...listened to my heart more...I would have had a different life. However, my long and happy marriage to a wonderful woman and my two children would not have ever happened. Who knows how my life would have turned out? I can only hope that in my next life I get to find out by coming back as a natural female from birth...of course I won't know my previous lives or desires or will I?