Travel Log - A long weekend in skirts and dresses

First, I agree that putting yourself in outing situations without the option to revert back to boy mode is exhilarating and motivational. And I think it helps immensely in mentally and emotionally committing to and buying into our fem persona during the course of the experience. Makes a world of difference for me. I can feel myself actually becoming Sherri in such a self-imposed situation, and on those rare occasions when I can do it for extended periods, the longer I extend the experience the more fully and naturally that sense of self becomes. I can literally feel the pretense melting away as I begin to interact and function in the world in the way that feels most natural and genuine me.

Further, there are several kudos in order here. For one thing, I think we should more often congratulate "the normals" who may or may not be accepting of us in their midst, but at least are tolerant and behave accordingly. Positive reinforcement should go both ways as we break new cultural ground. And of course it is much easier to understand the success of your experience given how truly lovely you are, what good fashion taste you have and the relaxed, guilt-free, down-to-earth air of quiet confidence and self-acceptance you put in play.

Thanks for putting it out there in such a competent way, and thanks for sharing.

Jennifer,
Again, you're being modest. I'll stick with my assessment, but to your points about confidence and being at ease with yourself... Back when I had long hair I spent a lot of time at a beauty school. Color and foil highlights, mani-pedis, facials... I spent as much time there as I could, mainly because there were a bunch of girls I got to interact with and over time I became one of the group (although I'm certain I was talked about a lot when I wasn't there). I don't remember exactly when this happened, but fairly early on when I started going there I told them I was transitioning. It just seemed that it'd be more acceptable to be TS and full time than a part timer. They obviously all knew I wasn't born female, but by them thinking I was TS, that gave me status that I otherwise would not have had. Funny that they'd often comment about how my boobs were growing (I did show all the cleavage I could muster) and they'd always say my hair took longer to take color because I was on hormones (I wasn't, of course).

Point is, I was comfortable with myself (the TS story aside), never gave a hint that I even had a male side, looked female enough that I didn't freak anybody out, and pretty much owned it. Now, you have to consider the venue. A beauty school is a pretty accepting place. I was often there for at least a couple of hours. Lots of interaction. They got more and more comfortable with me as they got to know me, then a new class would come it and it's start all over. It's all part of the equation.

There's a guy I see every now and then around town. Big guy, probably 65ish, balding, longish gray hair. Every time I've ever seen him he's wearing bright red nail polish and long nails. He's always with his wife. He's very gregarious, and engages a lot of people, particularly store employees who all seem to know him and seem to like him. People seem to not notice his nails. He certainly makes no attempt to hide them. I've heard employees talk about him after he leaves and they may comment on his nails, but not in a mean way. He just owns it in a way that makes many, if not most, people seem to just accept that he just likes long polished nails. Exactly to your point, I've wondered if this guy wore a dress, heels, and makeup, would anybody react any differently. In the settings where I see him and people already know him, I think there's be little change in reaction. At Home Depot he might not fare as well.

So many great points here about being out there and for me and my experience I agree with what many here have said. I go out now what I would say regularly and I now have no fear of interacting with anyone I just go about my business as normal. I hold my head high and if there has been anything negative I have not noticed.
I think for many of us just as Jennifer says we dont pass 100 percent but if we dress and blend in with the other GGs its usually not an issue we dont get much notice.

Thanks for sharing, Jennifer. It sounded fun and exciting.

I will echo what you say about being out. As of a few months ago I was terrified and thought it impossible. The trick (as you noted) is confidence. Just being yourself and interacting with people goes a long ways. Yes the waitresses and hostesses know, yes the guys at the next table know, but if you are friendly and smile and act normal nothing bad happens and often times very positive interactions happen. I particularly noticed that women wanted to interact with you/me/us, just smile make a friendly comment and they seemed eager to chat about any and everything.

PS- you looked great as always in the pics

Jennifer this is a very nice post, and timely as I had completed a 2-day trip en femme.
I find several parallels with my own experiences in public, namely that if you dress appropriately, be yourself and be confident about yourself and this will be the result.

I recently spent 2 days en femme traveling, dining, shopping and encountering many people along the way and no one looked at me twice.
I came to the realization that either I pass really well or people just really aren't that concerned about me. One reason is they are engaged in their own lives and we are merely a thought.
So when passing is no longer as issue I continue like normal and enjoy my time out in the real world.

I have a favorite term which is "forgot that I was dressed" and this is me 99% of my time out and about.
I recall those days of peeking outside before stepping out and now I just check my lipstick and hair and walk out the door with no hesitation.

Thank you for such a wonderful story.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

Rhonda, I agree that appearance is part of the equation. But I would argue that the proportionality you reference is not what you link. Maybe a log scale is more appropriate but certainly not a straight slope. I don't pass. I also don't stick out. If I was 6'5" I would be noticed more quickly, but at 5'7" and 150 lbs, I am noticed later. The bottom line is that I AM noticed. THAT'S where dressing for the time, location, venue, etc... is important, I think.

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This is why you are awesome Jennifer. You carry yourself with confidence. Style is seen as an important asset. Heck, you even seem to have a lot going for you in terms of genetics, proportions, etc. But when all is said and done, you (like many of us) are not delusional with respect to whether you are being recognized for who you are. You may be blessed to pass until the third glance. I can only hope that I come close to getting that far. Yet we are well aware that we WILL BE READ as being trans-something-or-other.

It is actually quite liberating when one accepts this reality.

Someday, I may have the privilege of being read with the likes of you (or Nadine, Rhonda, or others in these pages who I have yet to meet IRL).

I don't mean to harp on how good some ... uh ... shall I say "nonstandard girls" ... like Jennifer and Nadine ... look. If I saw them in person, I might, as they believe I would, clearly read them as males in female clothing. I certainly agree that the subtle clues can be much clearer in person than in a photo.

So, that said, I wonder if there might be another factor at work, that causes people to refrain from blurting out any kind of acknowledgement that these are "dudes in dresses." We've all heard (and maybe some have experienced) the stories of people seeing a woman with a tummy bulge, and asking "When is the baby due," only to be told that the woman isn't pregnant at all. Eeek! So I think people tend to be cautious about assuming that what appears to be true really is true. I wonder if, when someone sees a woman with the too-broad shoulders or the too-muscular arms or the too-angular facial features, and thinks, "Hey, something seems a bit off with this woman ...", the person might be hesitant to say whatever thought is in his or her mind--regardless of whether the thought is something along the lines of "How dare you go out in public like this, you pervert," or "You're doing a lovely job of looking like a real woman. I almost believed it." What if she really is a real (but sadly masculine-looking) woman? Eeek!

Lori, I think some may give us the nod for this reason. just that tiny "what if I'm wrong" notion. But, like asking if someone is pregnant, you have to be in interacting mode to have that opportunity. So that "what if" percentage is pretty darn small. Mostly, people just go with the flow if you present like a woman would.

Jennifer,
You're definitely a trail blazer both on the bike trails and in our hearts!
Tina

Jennifer

Thanks for sharing your adventure with us. It sounds absolutely fantastic, well, all except all that bicycling stuff. Only kidding. Having had a heart attack I should be doing something like that myself.

The comment about confidence, I think that's one of those things that's easier said in retrospect. I know you and the others are right but I don't think I could not be nervous even if 1000 girls assured me it's so. I haven't even gotten the nerve to buy fast food at a drive thru yet. But that's beside the point.

We've all enjoyed living vicariously through you and it gives hope to us that most of the people out there aren't wanting to bite our heads off.

Thanks for sharing.

That was a very inspirational read. Thank you.