Objectively speaking, if this person can quit (an astronomically big "if"), they would probably be better off for it, especially when it comes to finding an SO.
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Objectively speaking, if this person can quit (an astronomically big "if"), they would probably be better off for it, especially when it comes to finding an SO.
Acastina,
What a wonderful and thoughtful post. Your 'left handed' analogy was remarkable in it's crystal clarity and appropriateness.
I too consider my newfound and blossoming CD Life as a PLUS; something that adds to my quality as a human being. It is a strength. The fact I've come late to embrace Her doesn't mean She isn't a blessing. I like the idea of it being "a healthy habit".
Thank you.
Thank you for the validation that you've provided to my post (above), Acastina. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Acastina
You do, of course, realize that the Latin word for "left" is "sinister", hence the implied association with Satan/Lucifer/The Devil/Beelzebub and your nuns' obsession (there goes that word again! ;) ) with exorcising that demon right out of their hapless charges. ;) So yes, definitely against their interpretation of the divine plan...:eek: :devil:
I've been on the Internet long enough to realize that any response that begins with "Hmmm..." is going to be a sarcastic rebuttal of whatever I posted. I wish you could be a little more polite in your response, but that's how it goes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
Again, crossdressers post that it's impossible to quit crossdressing to enable themselves so they don't have to try. You can stop crossdressing if you have to or want to. If you don't want to, in most cases, that's fine. You're not hurting yourself or anyone else.
It would be best if people just admitted that they wear women's clothes because they want to, not because they cannot stop. That's just an excuse.
Except that the overwhelming weight of experience is that it's compulsive behavior that is profoundly resistant to willpower, distraction, shaming, rejection, drink, drug, prayer, physical violence, military service, incarceration, and on and on.
Many of those alternatives are inherently harmful, whereas this is only harmful in the eyes of intolerant beholders and rigid social orders.
It's not as simple as just stopping. How many out there have purged, probably more than once, only to be drawn back in by something inside you that refuses to just go away? How many swore to themselves that this would be the last time, that they would outgrow it or out-macho it or 12-step it away? How many parents have assumed/hoped it was just a phase that would soon be left behind, only to be disappointed or angered about it later?
Show me someone who really, really has the bug, and I'll show you someone who can only beat it by one or more of the negative factors in the first sentence. And the cure may very likely be worse than the disease.
Show me someone who merely "wants" to violate this taboo and can quit at any time, and I'll show you someone who doesn't have the bug but somehow finds social space to play at it for reasons I have a hard time trying to understand.
Isn't it somewhat of a moot point to attempt to discuss retirement this neck of the woods? I'd expect "retirees" to violently turn their backs, and perish every last thought. The highest level of quitting (I know this is an extremely ridiculous stretch) would be akin to a heavy drinker completely not feeling like drinking anymore, not merely standing unfazed in the face of the beer tap.
I think crossdressing is much too broad a term to paint with any brush in the first place. It would only be special pleading to claim it "more than a hobby" for everyone, if only because - yes - some do treat it as a recreational activity (I don't happen to be one of those myself). Crossdressing in itself seems to be 'the hard way' if one's life becomes easier in its absence. If it's a hobby to someone I think it should be something they would be ready to abandon at any time. I think we're hardwired with this; it is perhaps like left-handedness in this regard. On a personal note, I was made to write with my right hand and learnt to play the guitar right-handed even though I'm actually left-handed. Part of it is now quite irreversible, although I play racket sports, use computers and eat left-handed. I want to think choosing to crossdress is a habit that stems from an otherwise barely understood motivation. And when habits become indulgences, they invariably take their toll.
The blogger seems to be in a state of denial and is bargaining (per the Five Stages of Grief), reading off his last post. He was visibly very much into it prior, but seems otherwise worried about "where this will go". How he actually feels is for him to say, not for us to probe.
The left-handed analogy seems to be resonating, as it should. The great pro golfer Phil Mickelson is right-handed but learned his swing mirroring his father's, somewhat like your guitar technique. And perhaps there's another aspect to this in your having learned to do several usually "-handed" things with your secondary hand.
I've learned a lot of little mechanical and remodeling skills with both hands, because often you find yourself in a corner or an awkward position, and it's just easier to hold the paintbrush or screwdriver or wrench in the other hand. Those of us who identify as non-binary or fluid seem to have done this with gender adaptation, learning to do some things in a traditionally masculine way (such as manspreading or taking long strides) as part of our masculine role-playing, while having a second set of parallel mannerisms and movements for our feminine sides. I know I do.
I totally agree with everything that Reine said too. I purged years ago too but all I did was fill Goodwill's shelves up, just to have to turn around and buy more things. Even though I love to shop, that was not the same feeling for me. I came to a conclusion after that action that I truly enjoy dressing and to just enjoy life.
Hugs,
Bree ;)