Women?s activities

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Originally Posted by ReineD

I do firmly believe that CDers have an elevated opinion of all things feminine because they are constantly striving to imitate that which nature has not given them at birth.

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My tendency to need a more feminine presentation began in my fifties after decades of feeling ignored as man, other than as a provider. I am sure that the motivation for crossdressing is as varied as the number of crossdressers, but for me, "all things feminine" isn't an imitation of what nature hasn't given me. Feminine expression has given me a sense within myself, even if no one else sees it, of feeling special in a way that I was never made to feel as a man.

I see "special" when I look in the mirror when I am a man with feminine presentation. I see "special" when I see photos of myself dressed. I have virtually NO memories of feeling special as a "masculine" man. I still feel the internal specialness of being a man and would not change that fact. But, that specialness has been an internally driven sense of satisfaction. I have no desire to be a woman or present as a woman, but I have a strong desire to claim the feeling that my wife has enjoyed her whole adult life, as an attractive woman.

It's much the same way with my adopting feminine cues for myself. I considered myself to be decent looking as a young man, but a total lack of validation and some added betrayal for more than a decade make it very hard to value a strictly male presentation. There's very little about a masculine aesthetic that feels special at this point. Utilitarian maybe, and even adequate, but not special.

Is there women's activities? Other than medical stuff, I say no.

I enjoy my day dressed and doing what I want mostly. I can not see a difference in our activities. There are differences in the way we interact with people. That is a good thing.

Natalie

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Originally Posted by Bea_

My tendency to need a more feminine presentation began in my fifties after decades of feeling ignored as man, other than as a provider. I am sure that the motivation for crossdressing is as varied as the number of crossdressers, but for me, "all things feminine" isn't an imitation of what nature hasn't given me. Feminine expression has given me a sense within myself, even if no one else sees it, of feeling special in a way that I was never made to feel as a man.

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Your point is interesting - I've seen it expressed here before. My ex used to say the same thing as well, that he felt ignored in our marriage other than as a provider. Note that he was not a CDer - my current SO is. So I took it at the time that he didn't feel appreciated by me, which is something that I didn't understand, because I felt as if I had devoted my life to him and our children. I had given up my career, I took care of the home and our kids including starting over every time we were transferred to a new city, which gave him the freedom to devote his time and energy to furthering his own career. I don't think he felt unappreciated as a man, because he did go outside our marriage a few times ... so he must have felt as if some women appreciated him.

If however you mean that most women don't actively go after men (thus making them feel special or better appreciated) in the way way that men generally are the ones to go after the females, then I dare say that most other men are in your shoes?

Sorry, but I just don't understand what you and my ex meant by not feel appreciated except as a provider. Is your marriage good? Needless to say, my 30 year marriage to my ex ended - likely because neither one of us felt special in our relationship.

Also just for contrast, I need to tell you that as a GG, I've never felt special either. While it is true that I've had men express interest (when I was young and before I was in a committed relationship), I need to say this is true of millions of other GGs. And believe me as I aged, the little bit of attention I got when I was single disappeared. lol. And so I never felt special. I certainly didn't feel as if my ex appreciated what I brought to our marriage.

So again, please help me to understand how the need to feel special, or appreciated, fits in with the CDing?

It seems that most of the participants in the discussion are inclined to the thesis that there are no typically male and female activities.
Well, except maybe for a few exceptions, like a visit to a gynecologist or prostate treatment.

What is it about femininity, then, that fascinates us so much?
Is it only in clothing, hairstyle and makeup?

Or is our attraction to femininity limited in nature and reduced to a fetishistic fondness for these few, superficial things?

Transwoman here! Women's activities? Like car to dealer for checkup! Taking the trash to the dump! Oh, I know, getting groceries! (Seeing all those men hiding in their cars!) Putting gas in the car! Maybe going to the pharmacy! Maybe some one can tell me what "women's activities" are exactly! I do the laundry and the dishes but did that when I was married as well! No some one is going to have to fill me in on this!
Hugs Lana Mae

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Originally Posted by ReineD

Your point is interesting - I've seen it expressed here before. My ex used to say the same thing as well, that he felt ignored in our marriage other than as a provider. Note that he was not a CDer - my current SO is. So I took it at the time that he didn't feel appreciated by me, which is something that I didn't understand, because I felt as if I had devoted my life to him and our children. I had given up my career, I took care of the home and our kids including starting over every time we were transferred to a new city, which gave him the freedom to devote his time and energy to furthering his own career. I don't think he felt unappreciated as a man, because he did go outside our marriage a few times ... so he must have felt as if some women appreciated him.

If however you mean that most women don't actively go after men (thus making them feel special or better appreciated) in the way way that men generally are the ones to go after the females, then I dare say that most other men are in your shoes?

Sorry, but I just don't understand what you and my ex meant by not feel appreciated except as a provider. Is your marriage good? Needless to say, my 30 year marriage to my ex ended - likely because neither one of us felt special in our relationship.

Also just for contrast, I need to tell you that as a GG, I've never felt special either. While it is true that I've had men express interest (when I was young and before I was in a committed relationship), I need to say this is true of millions of other GGs. And believe me as I aged, the little bit of attention I got when I was single disappeared. lol. And so I never felt special. I certainly didn't feel as if my ex appreciated what I brought to our marriage.

So again, please help me to understand how the need to feel special, or appreciated, fits in with the CDing?

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I'd like to help you understand, but a public forum is not the place to go into all the details involved. I'll just say that certain circumstances have left me feeling less than appreciated as a man. Those circumstances have made the man I was near valueless to me. Something had to fill the void.

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Originally Posted by Bea_

I'll just say that certain circumstances have left me feeling less than appreciated as a man. Those circumstances have made the man I was near valueless to me. Something had to fill the void.

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It's OK, never mind. I think I get your meaning.

Reine, I appreciate that you question and try to understand.

Maybe your idea of what women's activities are is a bit outdated.
I tiled and fitted out an entire bathroom en femme.
I work in engineering where there are women designing electrical and electronic circuits.
My sister-in-law is a plasterer.
It's not all about shopping and going to the cinema.

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Originally Posted by Betty70

April, you hit the spot.
It is known that women today are liberated and can do whatever they like.
They can paint their nails or lift weights at the gym,
try on a colorful dress or chop wood, etc.
And men? Chop wood as much as possible, lift weights at the gym - too.
But the alternatives listed? Well, rather not.
When you dress up as a woman you get a pass to another world.
How do you use it?
Almost everyone on the forum writes about shopping, the braver ones a hairdresser or a beautician.
Other ideas are lacking?:heehee:

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Live Betty70!
Some like cycling, some others going to the theater, to your religious center (mosque, pagoda,church...). Some other just work! You can continue with your life as it is.
Even the womanizers dare to explore an affair with ladies interested in crossdressers!

Of all the activities listed, going to the movies crossdressed seems especially pointless - why go through all the time and trouble of making oneself pretty just to sit in a room with no light for two hours?

One thing that makes going out dressed fun for me includes all the things you listed, but also going out with friends and/or activities where people interact with you enfemme. I have done pub trivia, DJ work at a bar and even tried my hand at bingo. I have also had friends meet me at a wig shop to help me pick a wig.

Anyway, there is no shortage of fun things to do, assuming you don't live in the boonies.

Instead of looking for "women?s activities", I like to think of it as activities I would like to experience from a woman's perspective, and more specifically from Claire's perspective ... things I would like to do as Claire. As noted in many of the previous posts, in our current culture, aside from a few biological and medical activities there are few things that women do exclusively nor activities that men do that women can't.