Two personalities? Guy/girl?...

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Originally Posted by Rachel Ann

Jen
I don't think it's an addiction or a compulsion for most - maybe a few go overboard. Addictions and compulsions are inherently bad things of which one seeks to be "cured". Many know that our inner girl will never "go away".

There is a loose analogy to sex: Almost everyone develops the drive at puberety. Some become celibate for one reason or another but the desire and attraction never leave for most of one's life.
Love

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Rachel ~
:o I know... I'm just a bit lazy today and couldn't think of the right terminology... so I put quotation marks on "addiction". I was mostly thinking about my own "compulsive" behavior... which I tend to do. (Instead of doing the yardwork that is still waiting for me!!! :) ) Music is another "passion" that I just can't get enough of or learn more about. I'm wanting to get a keyboard/synthesizer, a new custom-built bass guitar and a home recording studio <laughing...> but I just don't know when I would have the time to play with it all! This is "compulsive" behavior that is being repressed at the moment!

Regarding your "loose analogy"... makes sense. How could you possibly describe a sexual urge or attraction? It just is! I gave up trying to rationalize the impetus of CDing, a long time ago, but Lily's post just got me wondering about it again.

Crossdressing all makes sense to me from a reincarnation and karma perspective... but not eveyone is aware of the Spiritual aspects of bringing certain conditions into this life to best learn from. So, I try to find ways to take that awareness and put it into non-secular terms and reasoning... if I can. I kind of like the "It Just Is" reasoning but that is not always comforting to those that are still questioning their own or others behavior.

Anyway, thanks for responding. I love reading your posts and hearing about all of your past adventures!

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Originally Posted by Jen_TGCD

I love reading your posts and hearing about all of your past adventures!

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Thanks honey! I'm a real ham, love an audience, and can go on all day. I suppose I must do something about that. :o

Love

When you think about it -- it's probably better to have one too many personalities than one too few.

Deep, huh? :)

Actually, that is deep! :)

Thank you. I have my moments. Or moment, anyway.

There's only one person here...a person who wears women's clothes. I still dig doing the same things in drab as I do when I am dressed as a woman. The only thing that changes is my clothes and my mannerisms.

Thanks Girls, but it is really deeper than what I can say. I know I have given some water cooler advise to some of you and I have always said trust in your self and, a little prayer to the Almighty doesn't hurt either, What i am going through now is hit me with both feet, right in the head. First I came out to my Wife just about 2 weeks ago and now I have to sign papers for the sale of my business in the next few days, I have divested myself of what (HE) stood for and I think that Georgette is very hapy for that therefore she is trying to take over. God I pray I have the strength to overcome this, as I am to far along in years to have SRS or even to think about it,
I hope I haven't sounded like a fool but I needed to let it out some where.
LOVE TO ALL
Georgette

I myself dont believe in all this 2nd personality BS. I have 1 body 1 mind. I enjoy to be Femme. but if i need to be in drab i can do that 2. if i had 2 personalities that wouldnt happen. if your male personality was being dominant you surely wouldnt be wearing a dress would you? and if your femme personality was dominant then you would be in drag & it wouldnt care who saw you.. correct me if im wrong, but think about it.. can you go from Femme to he if you need to...................................... ;)

Robin
Yes I can go from Femme to Male right now , but I am also very concerned there will come the time when I won't be able to do that because 1 or the other personality will take over completly. Call me a not case if you like but until you walk a mile in my shoes Please don't judge me, I don't mean that in a faceiuos way, but I in my own mind feel that there are 2 very distincly different people occuping this body, maybe only one in fantasy, but 2 in mind.
I hope you didn't take my comments wrong as I don't want to hurt anyone here.
LOVE Georgette

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Originally Posted by robin29

I myself dont believe in all this 2nd personality BS. I have 1 body 1 mind. I enjoy to be Femme. but if i need to be in drab i can do that 2. if i had 2 personalities that wouldnt happen. if your male personality was being dominant you surely wouldnt be wearing a dress would you? and if your femme personality was dominant then you would be in drag & it wouldnt care who saw you.. correct me if im wrong, but think about it.. can you go from Femme to he if you need to...................................... ;)

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Even if the female was dominant, it wouldn't mean you'd have to wear a dress. There are factors of safety. I look at it like this, a GG is all fem, but she can't always wear what she wants. She may desire to wear a mini-skirt, but outside ciecumstances might make if t difficult for her, it might not be safe to do so. The same goes for CDs, just because their fem side is dominant, outside pressures and safety concerns prevent the CD from wearing a skirt or dress. I understand what you are saying, you make sense, I just thought I can give my view on maybe why the other(Fem) personality can't always show itself.
I don't really know if changing personalities can be controled like a switch. I think some here get an urge(Use for a better term), sort of like a desire for the moment to be fem. I think it is something inside them that they can,t control, I think this is their fem side coming out. Their other personality, not only do they want to dress, but they become the female. I am only giving what I think, there can be many more reasons.
Amelie

PS-I don't have 2 personalities,,,,I have three.Lol

There is still only me in here, I've noticed that the femme side is nearer (less repressed?) the surface since I came out to my wife but I am still one person. Back to the Conitunum again!
Love
Fiona

Thanks Amelie I wanted to here some positive input on this, as right now I am considering some therapy to deal with this. I will let all of you know how it's going.
Thank all of you wonderful and caring people.
Love
Georgette

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Originally Posted by Georgette

Thanks Amelie I wanted to here some positive input on this, as right now I am considering some therapy to deal with this. I will let all of you know how it's going.
Thank all of you wonderful and caring people.
Love
Georgette

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That's Ok Georgette, there are many reasons why people do the things they do. No one has all the answers or the correct answers, everyone is unique in their behavior. Hope all goes all right with you, just hang in there, don't let no one put you under.
Love Amelie

It is a bit of a continuam from one prsona to another but at the same time I do not agrre with Jung. After all everyone has got an anima and animus. His so called great theroy has got nothing to do with one who feels very uncompfrotable drab but is a total star when enfemme. Why would I whant individuation and become asexual and ungendered as Jung would have whanted a TRANSGEDEREST to be when I could be a sane totaly seexy she-male if only socity would accsept me. FOR I think Im a woman there for Iam a woman. So forget the middle way forget Jung and if You see Budda on the rode kill him and pass me another pair of platform stiletoes and a micro-miniskirt!

Hi

I have always thought of myself as Yvonne, but Ian is the mask I wear for the world outside.
Ian has a life, hobbies etc. Which I share but I can never be me as Ian.

That probably confused both of us
:confused:

Yvonne

It helps to think that there is a sexuality continum. That idea helps to answer a lot of questions about an individual person, relationships, and our culture.

But I try to keep myself together as one individual. I use my middle name, which could be interpreted feminine, but it's still me.

Hog hugs. Jerry

Hi Yvonne!

Welcome to the forum!!!!!!! Confusion? What's that?! :p

Hope you enjoy the place!

(Hey girls, we got us another! She's already done 3 posts in one day. She's probably already addicted. Muah ha ha ha!!!!!)

Uh, Yvonne, just ignore the girl behind that screen.

I have given this some thought as I struggle with this idea. sorry i havn't read all of the other answers but this is my simple analysis! I am one person and one personality. A third of me wants to express my feminine side/thoughts/clothes. Society doesn't allow me to do that in any way so when I get the chance to dress I want to have sarah conform to what gilrs do. I therefore have to become totally woman and that is so different from the macho workd I normally inhabit. If I coud wake up everyday and do exactly what I want I would be dressing in a bra and pants today with a few other girly bits and my suit. I want the best of both worlds most days. Some days more macho - others to be sarah all day. Mix the two and I am me all through but with a different mood.

I’m starting up an old tread here. I thought it was a great question and wanted to get my two cents in.

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Originally Posted by Lily_gg

Hi all.

I have a question that I've been pondering over the last few days, which I'm sure a lot of other SOs have difficulties with too, so I thought I'd pose it here:

Basically, a lot of you seem to refer to yourselves as two different people - a guy and a girl - living in the same body. I was wondering why it is you feel this way, rather than feeling like they're just aspects of one whole person?

For example, I can be happy, I can be sad. I can be quiet, I can be irritatingly noisy. That doesn't mean that I see myself as four different people; happy, sad, quiet and noisy; living in one body - they're just different bits of me. Equally, I can think in a very male way sometimes (the whole maths, computers, logic bit), this doesn't mean that I see myself as one logical male person, and one emotional, irrational female person. :p

I'm kind of struggling with the idea that my boyfriend might contain a whole new person that I'm going to have to get to know, and hopefully like, for us to maintain a happy relationship - if it turns out that he's just the same person as he always was (albeit a bit more open, loving and intimate, rather than closed off), who just happens to wear girlie clothes and/or look like a full on girl sometimes, I think I can cope with that ok. If he is actually two different people, I may well end up feeling threatened by 'her', and this wouldn't be ok...

Views/thoughts etc?...........

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The simple answer is that it’s a metaphor. A way of describing or categorizing a phenomenon that’s difficult to get a handle on. It inevitably falls short of the reality—I doubt there are very many cross-dressers who really think that there are two distinct people inside them—but when describing how it feels to want to cross-dress, the metaphor of having a dissatisfied girl within does seem to effectively illustrate the feeling.

One aspect of this metaphor that is powerfully descriptive, is it’s embodiment of the conflict involved. For example: Let’s say something has happened that is good for you but not so good for a friend. You may be caught between the happiness you feel for yourself and the empathetic sadness you feel for your friend. Which emotion do you choose to express? You might describe how you dealt with this dilemma by saying the excited child in you wanted to leap for joy but the more compassionate adult in you held her back till after you had comforted your friend. The adult-you told the child-you that she would get her turn later, when she couldn’t hurt your friend’s feelings by expressing herself.

When there is no inner conflict to describe, you don’t need a metaphor that evokes a sense of competing interests. For most of us, inner conflict is always involved when it comes to cross-dressing.

A big part of the problem we struggle with is that it does not seem possible to be both girl and boy at the same time. Yet, for most of us, that is exactly what’s required to be whole. Why does this seem impossible, indeed why must we even think of it in such terms? It is because, from our perspective, society has created and insists upon polarized gender roles that leave no acceptable way for us to express ourselves naturally as whole people. We try to stretch beyond the limitations imposed by society but, try as we might, we can not separate ourselves from its powerful influence. So, in an effort to transcend these polarized roles we end up embodying them.

In other threads I’ve read that in some Native American cultures there was a third gender that was used to describe people who had both male and female characteristics. Something like that might help us more comfortable express our natural selves more holistically but, frankly, I don’t think the introduction of a third gender category is likely, nor even the best possible path. I think it would be far better to stop associating so many characteristics with any particular gender. Of course, this is not going to happen anytime soon and many things that come naturally to us will continue to be powerfully associated, both by us and by society, with being distinctly feminine.

You might ask why can’t a cross-dresser simply ignore society’s categorizations and live, at least in his or her own home, as a wholly integrated and natural person. I think that is the goal for most of us and over time we do progress in that direction. However, it takes time to let go of our own preconceived notions. Childhood programming runs pretty deep and we continue to be bombarded with messages that reinforce our old prejudices and fears. It’s hard to avoid the gender polarization that living in our society encourages.

Imagine yourself in a world were you are forbidden (as are all who are like you) to work on a computer. Your loving spouse thinks this is a ridiculous rule and encourages you to play on the computer in the privacy of your home. You suspect that your not the only couple like you but neither of you what to incur the wrath of society by letting others know you do it. Imagine also, that you are a busy person and, not wanting to drag your children into potential controversy, you avoid playing on the computer when they are around, so that the amount of time you get to play is very limited.

Now, during those few precious moments when you can play, do you think you’d be balanced about it? Would you have an ‘I can take it or leave it’ attitude or would you be ‘Full Metal Computer Girl’ and throw yourself wholeheartedly and unreservedly into computer play, while you can? I’m presupposing in this analogy that you really enjoy playing on computers and it seems something you’re naturally inclined to.

You see, this is not a recipe for balance. It is rather a recipe for extremes; extreme denial and extreme indulgence, and for all the inner conflict that occurs when one continually shifts from one to the other.

So, when Elysia gets a chance to be in charge, she doesn’t want to share her time with him, even now she gets so little time. It’s true that he is now more willing to share with Elysia but for most of her life that wasn’t true. For most of their life together he was always trying to keep Elysia down and sometimes even trying to kill her. Now he’s learning to love her and her to love him. It’s a good thing because they both love their wife. Now that he isn’t trying to project Elysia’s needs onto their wife, it makes it possible for them both to love her so much more. It would be nice if someday he and Elysia were so close that they’d forget there is any separation between them at all… metaphorically speaking.

Wow, lots of deep thoughts here, since Im kinda shallow it wont take long to add my view :) :D

Although I have joked about being comfortable with two persona's, but will worry when # 3 shows up, truth is I dont change personalities when I change clothing.

I may be more likley to sit down and read a fashion mag while dressed in fem, but just as likley to be out in my garden in drab,, so for me its basicly 1 person, 2 names,, 2 wardrobes

Cindy

Want to be all I can-- some days and most days -- a girl-- but the real life
says and dictates-- 50yrs a const- boss or pea- on--always a wanta be--
My god -- if this gender thing was so not as big as an issue- to the general public-- Mr Bush-- please- just let me do my thing-- I'll pay my taxes-- donate to charities- Just let me be me!!--- feels good to wear a bra-- feels good to take it off-- getting down off my box-- now just let me be me-
Janice Ann

Two? Oh, no, there are more where those came from.