How do I tell him that I know his secret?

I personally would love to have an accepting GF or wife.

This is how I think I would react to being confronted.

I would blush red as hell of being discovered and may deny to see how much you really know. (Not the best and most honest thing to do but the situation is scary for a cd).

I would clam up as a flood of emotions and fears caused by the adrenaline rushing through my veins.
Explanation: First fear would be the possible loss of love and friendship with you.

Second would be the other "what ifs" and these are very valid fears.

A.) You're the closest person who knows most of my friends and most likely family and if you feel like getting vindictive you could out-me and being a person so close it would be impossible to deny the allegations to my friends and family who I may have kept secret for a good reason from.

B.) now that you know the relationship for good or bad WILL change and all change big or small is always a scary thing.

C.) can I deal with someone knowing?
As many cd’s its very personal and many want to keep it that way. Often it is more fantasy and unknown to even us to why we do it and being so we feel how could anyone else understand us if we don’t understand us.

D.) I also think that most CD’s have a desire to be discovered as example we often sneak out and have a desire to go outside where we risk of discovery. Why? Hell if I know, I don’t think anyone can explain it either as every CD is different as different as each person is complex in their own way.


These are possible reasons for wanting to go in public and take those risks and each of these reasons may be valid for one CD but not another.

One reason for Cross-dressing maybe
a.) Transgenderism;(my best definition) the desire and need to be the woman who is inside of us in all ways from physical, emotional, outward personal appearance and acceptance. Some wish to be Woman in all ways and have the desire to be treated as one. This is complex as one individual to another as well. Some may have wanted to be a woman their whole life but because of their size and physical attributes they can not pass in society as a woman and would rather be accepted as man than not be accepted at all by society.

b.) Another reason maybe that they are looking for an emotional release from today’s stressful masculine side of the world. Even in this day and age there is a lot of stress for both sexes and as some are saying these days there is possibly three sexes or more.
The masculine side the stress could be from the typical strong and ruff appearance society expects from us to display from the moment we awake to the moment we go to bed from birth to death.
Masculinity as most society expects is show no weakness.
That’s a lot of bs'ing all day even for a typical male. Watch most young guys as they often test each other all the time for male dominance with challenges of “I am most masculine that you” challenges that take place at all times.
Genetic women may not be aware of these challenges that are taking place in front of them at all times. Examples: a simple handshake or high-five (strongest grip or hardest hitting).
Verbal challenges which are more apparent or not are:



Some CD’s just like the feel of the clothes and maybe all they want is to wear an item of femininity just for kicks.

Some CD’s only have a fetish like the above for one type of item like high heel shoes or panties. Both very big symbols of femininity, but only desire to wear only one of the items and that is all they like to wear and nothing else that is feminine.

Maybe for other CD’s it’s a deep seeded desire to feel closer to the ones they love or a memory of someone who has passed away or lives far away and it brings a sense of closeness to the departed love one.

The cross-dressing nature maybe derived from a feeling of failure. Maybe they feel they have failed as a male in some way and it’s a form of masochistic behavior.
The failure could be any thing and does not have to be of sexual nature. It could be as simple as the loss of a business deal.
They may dress as a woman because they feel wearing women’s clothing is a form of expressing they are a failure and don’t deserve to wear male clothing and feel women’s clothing is a symbol of a lesser status.
Note this is not my belief in any way but a lot of men feel women are the lesser of the two sexes and donning the clothes of the lesser sex is what the deserve for failing.

This is in my opinion for those that don’t understand homosexual or heterosexual cross-dressing, transgenderism, or are trying to understand. It’s just as complex as any other relationship between one human being and another.

Sorry if I have gone into it too deeply.

I wish you the best no matter what happens,

Just remember he is human like you. :)

Take him to a transgender club, have fun, it will work out.

http://www.somewhereelseclub.com/

Sorry to say it but i think there is no advice that a lot of us can give you on here that would be right for your situation some of us have supportive so's and some don't some say they would like to be suprised with a gift others say no just be honest and others say give it time. Which way is right who knows but you you know your man better than anyone else. So i hate to point out the obvious the plan is best made by you and i know you are now in a state of confusion and need some advice. The only advice i can give you is to step back from the situation remove all emotions and think of it from a logical stand point of how do i tell him i know and what ways will he be the most accepting of the things i say.