What to do when boundaries are crossed ???

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Cut him off.........and reemphasize the rules!!! if he does it again let him sleep in the guest room.......or kick his ass out of the house!!
Rules are Rules!!!

Love Karren

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Actually hon, Karren's right---it sounds like you have significant problems with his x-dressing and don't really care to share it although you are willing for the sake of "saving'" your marraige to put up with it, as long as he doesn't rub your nose in it. Unfortunatly many xders see a wife's putting up with it as the same as total accecptance or even enjoyment of it. Obviously that is not the case with you----either he respects your boundries or he does not---if he does not, then you have to decide whether his violation of them is serious enough for you to give him the boot. PS---I just read your last post----you and your SO obviousily have some very serious problems that probably go beyond just the x-ding-----My advice is for you(and just you at first) to get some professional counselling to sort this all out----from your description he sounds like a jerk regardless of whether he dresses or not. Some GGs on this forum tend to blame their SOs crossdressing for most of what is wrong in thier marraige but it is apparent from reading their post that they have other, unconnected problems----My experience tells me that many husbands who don't crossdress can still be jerks. Being a crossdresser is also no guarantee that you will be a nice person. The question you might ask yourself is would I be happy with him if he didn't crossdress. Many times the answer is no---good luck with your journey and I hope it ends happily for you.

some of the SO's are up to baby steps in learning, others can confidently leap along in the learning...we all have our own speed and times.
That said, I'll totally agree with DayTripper, this situation and the folks involved are way beyond the capacity of anyone here to help, and professional help is needed.

I am sorry to continue this sad thread. But I have been out for a couple of days and missed this discussion.

Dear Confused:

Really it seems to me the least of your problems is your husband's CDing. Try not to focus so much on how you deal with this. Try instead to deal with how you can get to a point where you go back to basics in your relationship. I.e. How you talk to each other. How you set rules and how to follow them. How you have basic respect for each other and your household. I know you have many problems and sometimes it seems hopeless. But unless one of you do something nuts and really screw things up forever, things will get better. So please be careful and both of you need to be more considerate of one another. It really seems to me that you need each other very much.

One last thing. This psychiatrist thing where one is not ready to talk to the other one and each one is seeing their own psychiatrist is OK - you need this. But you also need someone who will sit with you as a couple and work on immediate behavioral and communication issues, before it is too late.

You probably know all this already, but just making sure. You sound like a nice person. Good luck.

Michelia