Young(er) and not feeling in place here

dear Mercury,
i hear you!
suspect that for many of us, dressing is so very special and sensuous that every occasion is a special one! where in the the real world, stockings, heels and a dress are fairly infrequent, at least with my SO. jeans and sweaters and comfortable sensible clothes.
my dear, i feel i will be success at dressing when i can someday go out in regular everyday clothes like that. to not draw attention, of course, but mostly because its real and what real genetic women wear. not being in the fashion industry!
i've been really impressed by ski fashions on the slopes of late.
i can do that, i think, hope to.
so glad you're here and pitching a practical, down to earth thread!
hope to hear much more from you!
and, i join with those who applaud you for finding your expression at this flowering stage in your life.
wish i had...
hugs,
jessie

[SIZE=3]You are absolutely right. I am about 25 years older than you and I can assure you that my preference is to dress casually, yet femininely. I prefer not to wear a lot of eye shadow or blush at any time. And I like just dressing in a T-shirt and jeans most of the time. I guess that I have never posted photos like that for some reason. I am not sure why. I look about the same, just in drabber clothes. The times that I have gone out in public dressed, I have worn attire that is "middle of the road". Nothing fancy. I had no desire to be noticed. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Anyway, I do not think that you are too young to be here. Many of us "old" people dress casually too.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Keep your photos coming![/SIZE]

So I been paying attention for a little while, and I have this hypthesis:

Some of dress like the girl we want to be, and others of us dress like the girl we want to be with?

Would that be accurate or am I just over thinking stuff again?

Perhaps we need a section for the younger ppls?

Vikki

I'd say both actually, to answer your question.

It is fun to dress up in different ways, I just see a predominant trend that I don't identify with, that's all I'm really trying to say here, I don't think its wrong at all, just that I see so much of that and not much of anything else, younger people getting involved.

I see this thread diverging into two distinct directions, younger people speaking up, and older people defending their style (for the most part). I guess yeah my original post seems critical but I was really just trying to focus on the lack of young, liked-minded individuals posting. It's nice to see different styles that what I have normally seen. Like hearing about you (vikki) dressing in 8 inch heels which im sure are connected to thigh high "hooker boots" and things like that. Stopping here at the risk of being long-winded, cheers :drink:

http://www.imvu.com/outfits/index.ph..._user=21148177

IMVU is a online virtual reality chat messenger its pretty cool, look into it at
IMVU.com . These are my outfits, and I base my avatar on what I would liek to look like if I was female. ENJOY!!

if i was physically able to dress, i'd be right there with you MM. unfortunately i'm a quadriplegic and stuck in a wheelchair...BUT i'm 21 and understand what you're saying. if i were to dress to go out and about, i'd dress much like a lot of the girls i hang around.

I am 35 and I too have had some trouble relating to some of the things posted here. But then I remember that for many here, dressing in women's clothing is something done not too often, so when there is a chance it is a chance to live it up.

I love feminine finery as much as many other women do but the more I began to present as a woman in public the more I began to recognize the value of slacks over skirts, knee-highs over thigh-highs and flats over heels.

But I love it when an occasion presents itself that allows me to doll up a little bit more:)

ha! that's awesome Vikki, I particularly like the first 3 and the last one, though I'd never pull off that last one because of the lack of real boobage. Reminds me of another one you might like, meez.com. You can do the same thing. I would post the one that I made that looks just like me but I lost it.

I would have loved to come with this at such a young age. For me I feel that you are the lucky one. I would like it if you would stick around and tell us all your stories and give us some pictures. It would be nice not to work so hard to look somewhat decent.

Wow, to have had a site like this when I was your age, and younger. Many cd's my age dared not to share with anyone our passion to dress, for fear of all kinds of labeling, punishment, and trips to shrinks to rid us of this affliction.
We dealt with it all, including the guilt, internally. Until, that is, we discovered that there were a lot (A LOT!) of others like us.
Most cd's who post here do not share my preferred style of dress and makeup. I love the very high heels, heavy makeup, short skirts, etc. and there are others that do, too. We enjoy sharing our femme side as we know it and enjoy reading the posts of others like us. There are, likewise, others like you, and you stand a much better chance of finding them than I did at your age.
We don't have to agree on everything in order to be part of the community. In a world that's slow to accept us, let's allow the thing we have in common to find friendship and acceptance, even if, for now, just among ourselves.

Hey I would have posted to this, but haven't been on in a while. The whole college thing and all. Anyway, I can agree with your posts, and empathize with you. I like dressing just like the girls at school, which is mainly jeans a tshirt or even a miniskirt and some cute shoes. It's a little hard to dress here, but I make do when I can. In drab I am more punk/goth, and like trying different styles in girl clothes. So I've got everything from goth to working woman's clothes. If only there was a college for girls like us...

Yes and no. I do try to dress as appropriate, but I have a couple of priorities to juggle. Yes, I want to pass, and passing means you need to dress in a way that does not stand out too far.
On the other hand, what would be the point of being a crossdresser if you cant wear things that you feel are beautiful? Whats the point of being out in the world and passing, if I have to dress more as a boy does?
So I suppose a dress a bit more "dressy" than most woman would, but I don't think I take it too far to the point where I stand out like a sore thumb. Damn . . . at least I hope not! lol

Gretchen, dearest, and all the other pretty young things...

There is a whole world these days for girls like you...

Something that the rest of us didn't have.

Enjoy it, and tell us about it. We can share in your new freedom and bravery.

respect & love, for all of us,young and old,

deja

i wear what i like to wear :D

and its the same attitude for the GGs out there sadly its also WHY we dont see GGs in skirts pantyhose and heels everyday.......:2c:

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Originally Posted by Joy Carter

I'm fifty eight. You really don't want me dressing, like I'm twenty two do you ?
"Each to his/her own."

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And why the heck not??

Who says that you can't age and be sexy at the same time??

;)

Kris

Oh wow, this thread is very popular and I love reading all the comments. Everyone is right on. To me age is not a matter of body but a state of my mind. I don't bother telling my age so I can project how I feel or want to feel. If I feel like a 12yr old, I can dress up that way or if I want to look like a soccer mom, I can pull that off, but a sexy one! Only thing I like to contribute here is that fashion varies from location to location. Pantyhose, I see them in Asia all the time... on GG! But nude is more the trend and pantyhose are an older style. Color stockings or tights are the only exception. Just look at Fashion Week starting in Milan or Paris. I don't dress up often but when I do, I just want to create a look that I admire or find sexy. SO true, some of us dress to like the girl that turns us on. What we show to everyone would be a matter of taste, and thus, we have the fashion police in this forum. I love to see more young members post and start a thread. I can relate and if not, I like to try and understand!

For me I would love nothing more than to pinch my cheeks throw on wig and walk out the door. But at 6'4" 207lbs, age 54, ahh, not going to happen.:o

So for us stay at home gals, we tend to live in a kinda fantasy world. Acting out various classic costumes (French maid btw is the number one fantasy costume on this board) and scenes we would have loved to have experienced when we were younger. Because when we were younger, you either got the snot beat out of you, or you were arrested for what we do.

I hope you can connect with some of the other younger gals here. I'm happy to see attitudes changing in the world. But we've still got a ways to go. We're still trying to get nondiscriminatory rights established for the TG community at the company where I work. So, keep in mind there are a lot of different crossdressers here and one size does not fit all.

Love, Tracy

Mercury, Let you know some of us are older and thats the way we are. But it is refreshing to have a younger gurl like you here with us it is that we are family here ane when we are gone. it is nice to have someone like you to carry on. It may be you that would change things around to where we can go in the world unafraid. Age has wisdom, and may we pass it on to you. But dress for you at your age. I'd love to see pics of you and makes me feel My gosh I wish I did that at that age or wish I was that age. Just be a Sister with us:love::hugs:

I can understand where you are coming from When I go out I dress down a lot that means jeans sneakers fem blouse but I am dressing to blend. don't get me wrong high heels are great but they do hurt after a night of clubbing. I guess it depends on the situation and the location.
Great post I agree that the transitioning T's tend to take over from us casual weekend warriors.

MM,
People and styles change with the times. Although I'm not THAT old, it makes me think of the old women who go to the mall and hang out together. I guess they do it because they have things in common and can relate. It's the same here in many ways; so I agree with you. BUT the older girls are always easier to talk with than others. I guess experience has benefits for those who don't have it. Don't worry about blending in here. We'll help when we can. Someday you will find that the way you dress isn't "in" anymore. Don't let it worry you. We can all be friends because we DO have things and feelings in common.

Well, I'm 30 and I find it odd that so many CDs are significantly older than I am. It's not that odd, though.

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Originally Posted by MentalMercury

I find this whole 'walking in heels/pantyhose' thing is a common theme here

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Well, nobody's gonna start a thread on walking in Nikes, are they? I don't know that this really speaks to how often CDs wear heels. A lot of CDs seem to have a real pantyhose fetish, but if you look at those threads, you'll see many don't. I wear tights sometimes and stockings sometimes, but I never wear pantyhose.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MentalMercury

To me, casual crossdressing is jeans, boots, girly band tee

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That's fine, but you're talking about a pretty specific high school look for kids who shop at Hot Topic. Knee-high boots aren't really all that casual, and most people like to dress better than a T-shirt even at a casual bar.

Mascara isn't casual, either. You're definitely talking about a goth/punk look, which is cool, but it's still not the way the "average" girl in her 20's dresses.

So that's understandable that you wanna dress like the girls you like to hang around with. I personally try to go a tad goth-ish a lot of times, and I wear boots much more often than heels (and when I wear heels it's usually chunky baby-dollish heels). It's probably a little more age appropriate for younger CDs than stilettos.

I guess my point is that you're still not talking about average every-day girl clothes. Yes, the average girl doesn't wear heels and pantyhose. But the average girl doesn't wear a band T-shirt and boots, either. And the average girl definitely doesn't dress like superhero or Japanese school girl. If you wanna go average, you'll probably be wearing jeans -- average jeans, not cute tight spandex flared ones, and a pretty boring top. That's not so much fun, is it?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MentalMercury

Anyone else like me out there who looks at alot of these threads and goes "whut?"

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Well, sure. You just have to accept that a lot of CDs are older than we are, and a lot of CDs are married. They tend to obsess on things that we may not find all that interesting.

I mean, I'm single and live alone. I've got girl stuff lying around everywhere. I wouldn't get the slightest thrill from wearing panties under my clothes at work -- I think that would be kinda silly. But I get to have girl stuff strewn all over my apartment, and I get to dress however I want and go out whenever I want. If I was in the position of many of these CDs, maybe I would find myself wearing pantyhose around the house and wishing I could go to a club en femme. Ya gotta have some kind of outlet.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MentalMercury

Sticking to the -chan boards...

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Goodness, girl. If you're coming from the anime furry sod-fest crowd, I ... well ... nevermind.

I like anime. I have a minor in Japanese. I'd love to look like a lot of anime chicks. But those cosplay ppl get creepy fast, and worse have social skills and a maturity level lower than any community I can think of. Maybe it's just that I accidentlly clicked on that Yiffing link one time...



Anyway, I'm actually just playing a little devil's advocate. It's hard for me to find CDs my age that I have anything in common with. The ones that I do find are either obsessed with transitioning, or they're hardcore about just trying to hook up. I've met very few people who seem to get much fun out of it like I do.

I mean, I've got plenty problems... Bad relationships, bad parents, depression, social disphoria, gender disphoria, whatever... but CDing is fun. It's just hard to find normal people to share with.

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Originally Posted by srinn

I gotta agree, I don't feel in place here either. Most of the threads and posts I find rather boring because I have so little experience in crossdressing and there's not much I could say. I hope that when I'm older I will have the courage to do things outside and have some experience. But I still have time, I turned 21 couple days ago and im feeling kinda old already lol.

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Srinn,
Please, and I bet everyone in here above 35... ok 38 will agree with me, ENJOY THOSE YEARS, YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE!.

I guess many of us remember when we discovered this or found that we were different. Time was on our side, but many other facts weren't. Today I'm 36 and I look in my mid 20's and I wish every day I started doing what I'm doing today back then. This might sound like your granny's advise, but time flies and it never comes back.... NEVER!

If you're planning on doing something, do it today because that's the perfect moment to do it... tomorrow might be too late. Remember that I'm 36 and I look younger, but I'm not and my body keeps reminding me that all the time. Yellow top to show my belly today? No way, maybe 10 years ago and it's not because I dare not wear it.. it's because it doesn't look "good" on me, no matter how hard I try to match it with jeans or capris or khaki skirts.

Please do what some of us didn't do when it was the time, enjoy your femme side to the top. Yeah, I know I sound like "old" but I just had 3/4 of a good bottle of red wine and I'm feeling somewhat sentimental....

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Originally Posted by MJ

thank you for your post . and i must say that if i had the courage to come out at your age i would dress like you too. @ 47 i can't get away with that look . but i like trying to look classy when i can. but for the most part i too dress in blue jeans t-shirts little to no makeup for my day to day travels .

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As my Good friend MJ stated its nice when you are young but when you get older you try to look classy and also I do not dres in skirts and heels when I am casual I am casual with sandals or pumps and my favorite stretch black pants and casual blouses and only my earrings and my watch and little or no makeup. Nice Post but please understand at 59 I need a little help. Joann0830:battingeyelashes:

MM, you know what? you make way too much sense for a 22 yo girl.... wish I was that clever at your age. maybe if I had been that brilliant I would have dressed openly since then... guess I wasn't.

But, each one has to cope with his/her decisions and some of us decided for one reason or another to not dress at your age or many years after that... call it knowledge, courage or stupidity, but we didn't and now we deal with that the best way we can. Can't blame us for trying, can you?

Great thread, MM!

Like you, I have to admit that I can't relate to a lot of the things posted here. But it's not because I'm young and don't get to dress a lot of the time. Truth is, I'm 59, retired, and with a totally accepting SO and my own home, I can dress any way I feel like, all the time. (So there!:tongueout) :heehee:

The truth is, I think, that we CDs are such a diverse community, that none of us is going to relate to all the posts we read. And that's fine. Read and respond to what you relate to. And wade through the rest.

Jeans? MY SO wears jeans ALL the time. She recently told me she doesn't want me wearing jeans all the time, trying to look like her, she said. Look like her? I'm just trying to be practical, to wear something that can take me from out to lunch to grocery shopping to cleaning toilets. Oh yeah, throw the occasional night club or movie in there too. Without five costume changes a day! So I wear jeans/casual clothes a lot too.

Recently started a thread about how hard it is to wear women's jeans when you're middle aged and heavy. Even at my age and weight, women wear their jeans fairly tight. Not the skintight sk8r look, thankfully. Men's jeans just don't get the look. And most women's jeans, the ones that will fit my waist, are HUGE in the hips and thighs. I finally found some that fit, bought several pair, and wore them daily for weeks. Then I got tired of them, LOL, for a few weeks. So it goes.

Our friend Devonne, who is our age, single, and dresses the most edgy for anyone our age, says she likes me best in jeans and sweaters. That's easy to carry off. Add the liquid eyeliner in the eye (needs the skill of a surgeon to apply, LOL) and four hours daily of haircare (and $20 daily worth of hair products) like she does, to pull off the look.

Band t shirts? When you're size 24?? LOL! The only tshirts with writing on them that would fit me are advertising beer, truck manufacturers, or screaming "I'M HAVING YOUR BOYFRIEND'S BABY!" And at age 59, I ain't going there, that's for sure!

We all do the best we can, with what we've got. No rules. That's the beauty of our wonderfully diverse CD world!

Blessings,
Rikki