Setting the stage for my SO?

The body hair thing really isn't a big deal at this point. I don't plan on shaving myself any time soon, if ever. Hell, I even keep a beard.

Like most people here, at first I thought that the desire to crossdress would go away after a while. I assumed that it was just curiosity or whatever and that it wouldn't be a big deal later on in my life. As of late, I've realized that it's not going away, simple as that. As a result, I know I need to tell my SO about it, and I'm going to. Was just looking for some advice on what to do leading up to that point.

But, that point is today. Happy Thursday, January 8th, 2009 everybody. I've been battling a cold for the past day or two, and am still feeling fairly stuffy-headed, but I'm hoping to be better by this evening. I've planned to take my SO out to dinner, then back to my families house for board games. My younger siblings have to go to bed fairly early since they have school tomorrow, so after games we're going back to her house, where I plan to have "the talk" with her.

I'm not bringing any girly stuff with me, no clothes or anything at all. I don't have any physical material for her to read, but I've done a little bit of research on the internet, and besides this site, have found another "SO's of CD's" only support group as well as two recommended books on the subject. I'll be spending the rest of the day trying to plan how I'm going to start, and I'm sure I'll be nervous all through dinner and games.

Few last minute questions that all of you here might be able to give me advice on:

I've read several examples where the CD wrote a letter of some kind to his SO and then talked about it afterwards, rather than telling her. I think this would probably be easier, as you could make sure that you didn't forget to say anything, etc. What do you think, is this a decent option?

I'm planning on telling her at the start of the evening that I have something I want to talk to her about tonight once we get back to her house, so that she's not surprised when I want to have a serious conversation instead of something more "enjoyable". Do you think this is a good idea, or do you think it'll make her worry all night and be really tense instead?

Any advice at all would still be very much appreciated.

I revealed my secret to my wife last november, by reuniting a few documents that I found on the net and that I thought showed my case in a serious way. Let's be honest: the vast majority of what one finds on the net about this subject is total trash.

I gave her the texts and I let her read them in private, so that she could digest this a litte bit before we could talk about it (I think I wouldn't have the courage to tell her in person anyway).

I don't know about your SO, but in most cases, they need some time to digest it (some women never accept it, some try to forget it exists and others support it in full). In my case, at first we even talked about divorce, but now things are a little better (she doesn't want to see me en femme, but she lets me do it as long as she doens't find out).

There's one thing you must not forget: there's always the possibility that she breaks up with you, but I think that if she really loves you she'll try to understand it.

If you tell her at the start of the evening you want to talk seriously she may worry about what your going to say

Its possible the questioning will start there and then

good luck :hugs:

I may be wrong but telling her at the start of the evening that you have something to talk to her about at the end of the evening may ruin the whole evening for her, with worries unfounded, I know it would me.

Be prepared fro questions some you may have no difficulty in answering, some you may and then there may be some questions you don't have an answer for at this time, and rather than attempt an explanation be honest and tell her I don't know.

Let her know that there is a GG section on here where she can ask all sorts of things that one of us will probaley be able to answer, many of us have been where she is now and we have made it this far :D

Good luck hun :hugs:

Thanks ladies, that's what I was worried about, mentioning something to her at the start of the evening. I'll hold off until the time actually comes.

And I think that, while I'd kind of rather write something down for her, it'll go over better if I talk to her about it in person as long as I stay calm and can get her to stay calm and we go slow. Maybe I'll writing something today and bring it with me, in case I change my mind.

Thanks again, everyone.

Apparently, my SO's sister's SO-ish guy (it's complicated) is coming to town today and staying through next Monday. I found out about this last night. Nobody likes the guy except for my SO's sister, but he's staying at their house nonetheless.

As a result, her dad thought it would be a good idea to do family get-together type stuff and have pizza tonight at 7:15, the same time that my family was going to be playing board games and after my SO and I would have already had dinner. And so, the dinner has been postponed until Saturday at the earliest (I've already got plans with friends tomorrow night). Also, at this point, my SO is unsure of where this guy is going to sleep, as there aren't any spare bedrooms in their house. With the massive rearrangement of plans for this evening on such short notice, my confession has been postponed until Saturday. Hopefully things will run a little more smoothly then, and hopefully we'll still be able to have an area in her house where we can have extended alone time for talking like we usually do.

On the bright side, it does give me more time to write that letter that I decided I was going to do. :brolleyes: Please keep wishing me luck til Saturday, though hopefully I won't need it!

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Originally Posted by Crystal Galadriel

On the bright side, it does give me more time to write that letter that I decided I was going to do. :brolleyes: Please keep wishing me luck til Saturday, though hopefully I won't need it!

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what ever you do just do give her the letter and leave. frist talk to her and then say i wrote you a letter to read when you want to. I might help you understand why I cd , at least mabey alittle. So she has talked to you AND now she has a letter to read. That would be much better. A letter along would not be a good idea. You see how we said that things will get in the way of you telling her. Thats life so take the next oppertunaty to tell her even if it's one you have not planed for. If it feels right do . Well good luck hun HUGGS :hugs: :canada: