Hand the pills over.
Have the surgeon clean his Knife.
Together we make music.
Because on that day.
I will be FREE !!!
Love Bree :love:
Hand the pills over.
Have the surgeon clean his Knife.
Together we make music.
Because on that day.
I will be FREE !!!
Love Bree :love:
Actually, the TG term began as a description of those who live more-or-less full time in a gender role opposite their birth gender without getting gender reassignment surgery. Over time it has become a somewhat nebulous umbrella term that covers everyone whose gender presentation varies in almost any way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Megan70
The term "transvestite" is a clinical term, originally used to describe fetishistic males who become sexually excited as a result of wearing women's clothing. The term "crossdresser" is more of a self-definition that our community came up with, something we felt more comfortable with. Yes, they technically mean the same thing, but their origins are very different, and their connotations are different, at least to those of us who have been around the community for a long time.Quote:
Originally Posted by MissConstrued
Carol
A crossdresser nothing more but is it not just grand that way.
Hi Sherry,
This is a good question that I've thought about. I consider myself a girl and like others have said I feel cross-dressed when in male mode. I will not go as far as having SRS, however my dream would be to live full-time as a woman. Unfortunately I do not see that happening. I wish I would have transitioned when I was younger.
A lot of my friends call me "Tranny"..based on the my body, but it's all natural. So Between TG & CD..I'm a proud CD:D
Well I regard myself as transgender... :strugglinQuote:
Originally Posted by Nessa88
I know post-ops who would get violently angry to be called TS - they would regard themselves as 'women'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
By 'our community' - you mean Tri-Ess. Which is a solely US organisation.. :)
I consider Myself both
Ok once when I was really really young I might have told you (after watching a docco about some NZ trans sexuals) that I was one of them, but that would have gone down like a lead baloon in my mothers house! Now all these years later, after spending the last 31 years in male form, I think I can say that I am just a plain old CD'er. I enjoy dressing and feeling feminin but I don't think I would ever go further, after all even with hormones and SRS the newly found fem parts would all remain "unpluged". If I knew that the docs could make me into the woman in my dreams with all working parts intact and opperational, and give me the body that I desired then I would concider going further, but as they can't... a CD I'll stay. :2c:
I don't like labels. It degrades us all. I am simply being myself. When I look in the mirror I see who I am. It's just "Me"!
Labels are for shopping. I'm not shopping anymore. I know who I am.
I certainly feel I am more transgendered than a crossdresser. It's not the clothes that make me feel feminine. I always feel that way.
The clothes just help me express that feeling to the rest of the world.
Tri-Ess had links with a British support group back then (early-to-mid 1970's), can't remember the name of it though (maybe the Beaumont Society?), and whether you like them or not, Tri-Ess is part of our community.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicki B
However, I don't recall that the term was coined by Tri-Ess specifically though. I do remember Virginia Prince suggesting the term femmiphile, which thankfully never caught on.
Anyway, I'm not sure what your point is.
Carol
Do I really care anyway? :bovered: ............
and.....:wyla:
.
I've been a member of the Beaumont for many, many years and I've never heard or read of any links with Tri-Ess or any other group from the USA. I certainly don't consider us being part of the same community in any sense. Quite the reverse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
I was trying to gently point out that you were excluding all those of us who don't live in the US...Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
[SIZE=4]Just searched to make sure I had not already posted on this thread.
I never did any CD before my transition day. I consider myself to be a woman (with some wrong parts), and hate having anything male associated with me.[/SIZE]
As my wife and I agree, Definately a T-Girl...........:battingeyelashes:
I often/always ask myself whether am male or female almost every minute. When i think of myself as a guy i feel like i have some heavy load i have to carry around, but when i think of myself as a woman i feel relieved of that load, i feel light and happy.
I find it hard to live a guys life style. I dont care what is expected from men or women in any society all i know is that right from the time i become aware of myself as human i knew i didnt like hair on my body be it my face or on my arms, i like to have pretty clothes not dull, i like looking at the mirror a lot my mum use to complain, i have some sitting positions which i find comfortable which most pple feel its kinda girly, i like to cry for no reason especially when watching romantic movies, always afraid of getting bruized or hurt, i also painting my face and my nails with colors, i like to have long hair, when i see women i feel yeah thats me and i see guys i feel what is that? all my role models are women ..............yet i have my masculine side which is also always with me............ sometimes i feel like i hate myself.
T-girl or crossdresser..........i think am all at one time or the next
Hi ....A transfemale who.s an andro . living as a woman ..
...noeleena...
Just a wolf in sheep's clothing here.
As you can see looking through these posts, there are a lot of people out there who call themselves crossdressers but have transgender feelings, and many of them are in a sort of state of denial because they don't want to disturb their family situation, or because they're afraid. Don't make excuses. Don't say "I'm too old" -- a 65-year-old friend of mine just got SRS two years ago. Just be honest with yourself. It's OK to admit you're afraid to transition. I'm a huge wimp, and the whole idea of being TS is terrifying.
Yeah, T-girl could mean either Transgender-girl or Transsexual-girl. But since when is TG an umbrella that covers CDs? Look at the words. Crossdressing is about clothes. Transgendered is about gender. Obviously you can identify as both a crossdresser and as transgendered, or as varying degrees of either, but the bottom line is that crossdressing simply means wearing the clothes of the opposite sex and that does not necessarily make you transgendered. TG does not include all CDs -- certainly not the fetishistic ones.Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle S
The "T" in "T-girl" stands for whatever you want??? It's a catch-all for everybody? So, in your experience, people commonly call their mother, father, brothers, sisters, neighbors and pets T-girls? That's obviously asinine.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicki B
T-girl is simply an abbreviation. It can be an abbreviation for either Transsexual-girl or Transgendered-girl. The point in an abbreviation is that it is a shortening of a term that is in common use. If several members lived in the Tunisian Republic then maybe we'd start using T-girl to refer to them, too, but the "T" in "T-girl" obviously doesn't mean "crossdresser."
Divided by a common language? More like divided by a lack of common sense.
There are a lot of women who aren't interested in sex. Don't try to be something you're not just because you don't think people will be into you. Sure, not as many women will be interested, but if you like women then don't give up on them as a gender.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherry-Stephanie
I don't find T-girl offensive. But I don't find many things offensive -- except "gurl" -- that one really makes me shudder. It's probably good to equate "tranny" to the N word. I would be very offended if someone who didn't like me called me a tranny, but among TG friends we call each other tranny sometimes in a very friendly way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nessa88
Simply feeling female makes you transgendered. I would also argue that you need to have the desire to be accepted and treated as female by others. After all, we don't know how anybody feels. I don't know how the average female feels. I don't know how the average male feels. I just know how I feel, and whether that is labeled as male or female is just semantics. The point is that I want to be accepted as female.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nessa88
But you don't have to present as female full time to be TG. I know many people who are TG -- many of whom are on hormones -- who do not present as female 24/7.
The most accepted definition of transsexual is:
"The desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by the wish to make his or her body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatment"
People have different feelings regarding whether or not you need a strong drive to get SRS to be considered transsexual, and some people even argue that you're not really transsexual if you're not full time. That's why we have the more encompassing term transgendered so that there isn't bickering about whether or not someone's really transsexual. But there's nothing wrong with anybody who dreams of being accepted as the opposite sex being called transgendered whether or not they're dressed like it, whether or not they want surgery. I usually call myself TG because I don't want to stir up the trannier-than-thou crowd of transsexuals.
I am totally at a loss to see your logic here. Both are support organizations for transgendered people. How can they possibly NOT be part of the same community?Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas
Are you saying that American TG people and UK TG people are different communities? I'd say that we are all part of the same global community, the differences in culture are rather minor, IMO.
I didn't say that I was sure that it was the Beaumont Society that Virginia Prince had ties with. I just vaguely remember that back in the 1970's, she visited Great Britain and had forged some sort of relationship with a leader of a large support group there, and guessed that the Beaumont Society may have been the organization as it's a large, successful organization with a rather long history. It wasn't a formal association, rather it was a casual affiliation, sort of sisters-under-the-skin sort of thing. It may very well have been a different group.
Sorry! I thought that the term "crossdresser" was used over there too. Live and learn. What I said holds true for American CD's anyway, if not for you UK folks.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicki B
For several years, the term "transgender" has been a catch-all phrase to cover anyone who presents in any kind of a cross-gendered manner, including crossdressers, who are exhibiting cross-gender behavior in their mode of dressing. The term "T-girl" is more recent, and if memory serves, was originated by the purveyors of porn associated with transgendered girls. That was the first place I ever saw the term anyway, and ever since, it's carried a negative connotation for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raquel June
Carol
It has nothing to do with being transgender.Being transgender is no more a definer of community than say having blue eyes is. For me the cultural differences are so huge that I feel no more connection with American trans people than I do with a starving child in Africa.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
It would have had to have been the Beaumont. But a holiday visit to a now long dead leader hardly constitutes an affiliation. If fact, given the overtly homophobic nature of Tri-Ess that they currently display on their web site:Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
I doubt that anyone from this side of the Atlantic would want anything to do with them. Certainly any group in the UK which advertised itself as such would be breaking the law. If you want an example of how fundamentally different UK and US society are then that's a very good example.Quote:
An international social and support group for heterosexual crossdressers, their partners, the spouses of married crossdressers and their families.
I'm definately a CD & I'm more than happy with that! :)
I agree with jenn, but it really didn't take me long to figure it out. I dabbled in crossdress since my youth, my sister dressed me pre school in dresses, petticoats and ruffled pantie's, she was 2 years older and wanted a sister. I could go on with this, but it's a long story.Quote:
Originally Posted by jennCD
I was home alone at the age of 13. I put on my sisters bra, pantie's, nylon stockings with garter belt (no such thing as pantyhose or thi hi's back in '57) a dress, a pair of my mothers heels, lipstick, clip on earrings and a pearl necklace and perfume. When I looked in the mirror, really looked in my own eyes, and felt how wonderful it felt wearing feminine clothes I knew then I had the wrong body, I wanted and should have been a girl.
Now I've been to other cd sites and I see men who are, in my mind crossdressers, a pair of pantie's and or bra, pantyhose all on hairy body's, full beards and very manly. I really don't know if they feel like a woman inside like I do and have all these years.
I too consider myself Transgender, it comes from within, LOL I love Lane Bryants lingerie catalog, The Woman Within. I think some of us knew it early on in life. I just didn't wake up one day and decide to dress in female attire, cause I just want to be a female. No, no, no, if you got it there's no denying it and it's stayed with me for 65 years so far, and I love it. My men's clothes that I am forced to wear are my drag clothes and have been for many years. My dresses, skirts, nightgowns, my bra's and pantie's and high heeled shoes and my makeup are my normal clothing.
I guess we have to agree to disagree then. I don't see the differences. Certainly there are cultural differences, but as far as I'm concerned, we're part of the same community. Reading this forum, I see Brits and Yanks doing exactly the same things, experiencing the same emotions. I've occasionally met British CD's visiting over here, including one who moved here to live (and was a Chicago-chapter Tri-Ess member, by the way), and never heard anything like that from them, rather they fit in quite easily and happily.Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas
I was a member of the Chicago chapter of Tri-Ess many years ago, joined in the mid-1970's as a non-attending member, started attending meetings around 1985 and left in the early 1990's, and they were definitely NOT a homophobic group. No one was ever turned away from support, in that chapter anyway. Many, many people have received a lot of help from Tri-Ess over the years. I would urge you to not judge the organization unless you experience it personally. There's a lot of BS in print that accuses them of being some sort of evil, conservative, exclusive organization, and that is about as far from the truth as you can get. While I have no desire to be a member any more, I will defend them from such drivel when I can.
Yes, Tri-Ess focuses on issues specific to straight CD's and their SO's, but so what? That group has specific issues that other segments of the community don't have. Do you dislike support organizations that restrict membership to TS's only? If not, why not? If Tri-Ess is guilty of discrimination, then why aren't TS-only groups guilty of it too? Let's face it, focused support is NOT discrimination.
Lastly, I never said definitively that there was a formal affiliation between the two groups, rather that I thought I remembered something about some kind of affiliation. Evidently, there was no lasting affiliation. I was just making conversation, adding what I recalled from years ago.
You're certainly free to dislike us Americans, but I don't think that this is an appropriate place to be venting your bias.
Edit: I just did a bit of searching and came up with some information for you. Prior to Tri-Ess, Virginia Prince's organization was called the Society for Full Personality Expression, or FPE. She published a magazine called Transvestia, and there were a few members of FPE and subscribers to Transvestia in Europe, including the UK. The 3 UK members of FPE decided to form a UK branch of FPE in 1966, and that organization was called the Beaumont Society, so there definitely is an affiliation between the Beaumont Society and the forerunner of Tri-Ess, if not Tri-Ess proper.
Carol
I have always considered myself TS.
Sometimes I have wondered if I consider myself TS because it feels 'better' than being a CD---I know that sounds silly but psychologically I always struggled with why I wanted to be a woman (my earliest memories are of wanting to be a girl). Being a CD never fit my wants, hopes and desires.
But my SO always confronts me with her opinion that I must be a CD because I never transitioned and it makes her world seem better.
In the end it really doesn't matter---I still consider myself TS. It has never been about the clothes. It has always been about what is inside my head.
Wow Marla, I haven't been on here in a while, but your statement makes me glad I visited again. I couldn't have expressed that any better, my choices in life make it unlikely that I will transition. I consider myself transgendered, and it's not about the clothes, it's those thoughts and feelings that I live with every single day, that make me pray that if I have a second life, that I will be able to live in that life as the woman I can't be in this life. At times I think that when I leave this life, God will let me live as I was meant to be, and explain it to all those who have such a hard time with this!:love:Quote:
Originally Posted by TGMarla
Christy
i consider myself a crossdresser but i associate myself with the tg community.i am not on hormones but i have been dressing for so long that i feel myself being a woman more and more as the she of me takes over.love phylisanne:love:
Yep, I am a t-girl. No doubt about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raquel June
So "T" can be Transsexual or Transgendered, but not Transvestite...? I'm having logic fail on that one.
Sure, that's logical, but in practice, the people I've heard use the abbreviation T-girl are not people whom I have ever heard use the word transvestite.Quote:
Originally Posted by MissConstrued
But if people actually said transvestite then I could certainly see people abbreviating that T-girl (although it's still pretty iffy since T-girl is already in common usage among the TG/TS crowd). Maybe that's more of a UK thing ... seeing as Eddie Izzard is the only person I've heard use the term since Dr. Furter in Rocky Horror.
Like I said - CD is principally a US term - CD isn't widely used elsewhere. So T-girl is certainly used to cover all of us, just like trans and transgender.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raquel June
And see - I said that without insulting you once... :heehee:
Could not have said it better sis.:hugs::love:Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen564
Sure, I Cross Dress, but putting on clothes is just such a small part of who I'm becoming,so I'm definitely a T-Girl, or whatever label fits. Neither boy, nor girl, we are special!
T-girl, crossdresser, transvestite, transgendered all kind of seem the right words to describe me. I am not sure if I am ts or not but I will have to discover this as time goes by. I have never really cared for these different labels. All I know for sure is that I am me and that is all I want to be.
A Taliban fighter would feel the same emotions as you at the loss of a loved one. Does that mean you regard yourself and him as part of the same community?Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
I've run a support group for many years. I'm well aware of the "specific issues" you mention and I know as a fact that there's absolutely no reason to exclude or discourage gay TVs in order to deliver that focused support. TS-only support groups may or may be guilty of discrimination. TSs often require specific support and advice which is outside of the scope of what general TG support groups can offer so specialist groups which can provide that support and advice are a good idea and that is how things work around here. We do have TSs (both MtF and FtM) attending our social support group but if a TS turned up seeking specialist advice we would refer them to the nearest TS-specific group.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
OK so you admit you were wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
:brolleyes: The only Americans I dislike are the ones who racist, homophobic or religious bigots. I'll leave it your judgement to decide what percentage of your population that includes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
The full story is here. No mention of Tri-Ess. There is no affiliation with Tri-Ess.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
That's comparing apples to oranges dear. If there's a Taliban fighter/sympathizer in America, then I'd say they're part of the Taliban community regardless of whether they live in America or Afghanistan.Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas
I'd say that you're probably right, but in my experience (20 to 30 years ago) in Tri-Ess, it happened quite often that wives/SO's who were just informed of having a CD'ing partner were afraid that their CD'ing partner wanted to be sexually involved with other males, and Tri-Ess policy of hetero-CD's only seemed to be of some comfort to the spouses. Please keep in mind that while Virginia Prince was a bit of a homophobe, her policies were not strictly enforced by all chapters, at least not in the Chicago chapter, in my experience. Keep in mind that Virginia Prince was a product of her generation, born in 1912. Not saying that her policies were completely right, just that she came from a different world than the one we now live in, and her rules were forged in the days when gay people could be thrown in jail for assembling. And I do feel that it's time for Tri-Ess to change those policies.Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas
Yes, my recollection wasn't entirely accurate. I never said that I was stating hard fact, just a vague memory of some sort of connection between the clubs.Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas
I dislike people from any country who are racist, homophobic or are religious bigots. Seems to me that you're singling out the USA for criticism here, and lumping all Americans together as a group. I'd suggest that you reserve judgment. Yes, we have our right-wing wackos here, but they're not the majority. I'd say that racism, homophobia and religious bigotry exists in the UK too, probably as much as here. The American practitioners are just more vocal, self-righteous and organized, in my opinion.Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas
You're badly misinformed if you think that all Americans are the same. Regional differences here are often huge, similar to regional differences between one country in Europe and another. Keep in mind that the USA is approximately the size of Europe, with many states as large or larger than many countries in Europe, and the cultural differences from one region to another are often as different as between countries in Europe.
You're splitting hairs. Clearly, the Beaumont Society originally had close ties to Virginia Prince, and was an offshoot of her FPE organization , which eventually became Tri-Ess, and like Tri-Ess, the Beaumont Society initially didn't permit gay CD's to join, says so right on that page.Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas
Here in the USA, Virginia held the reigns, so Tri-Ess followed her lead, at least in theory. There were TS members of the Chicago chapter of Tri-Ess, and I don't recall any of them being asked to leave. They didn't usually stick around very long though, as there wasn't much of value to them in Tri-Ess other than support from other members as friends. There were members who were bisexual too, they just didn't advertise it.
While I may be coming across as a cheerleader for Tri-Ess, I'm actually not particularly a fan of the group currently. I eventually left because my issues were with gender identity and I came to the conclusion that I wasn't getting the help I needed from them, so I joined an open group in Chicago, the Chicago Gender Society. I hung around Tri-Ess a long time primarily because I had made some good, supportive friends there and really enjoyed associating with them. The Chicago chapter of Tri-Ess was a very good bunch of folks.
And I do feel that now that Virginia is gone, Tri-Ess ought to amend their policy and allow anyone to join. Here in the state of Illinois, it's illegal to discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity, so I would hope that our local chapter is now open to anyone.
Carol
Definitely CD!
By my own definition, I am a cross dresser. I do not live my life as a woman, take hormones, undergone surgery or similar things so I do not consider myself to be a T-girl. However, I define myself as transgendered since I would have much rather been born female than male. While this could be considered a regret, it is not one that negatively affects my daily life or manifests itself as depression or anger. I'm very blessed and happy with my current life situation, and I do not want to alter it with such a major life changing action such as SRS. If I was much younger and not comfortably entrenched in my current life situation, I would pursue transitioning.
Not being a woman used to have a more negative influence over my psyche. I have reached an inner peace with the situation and embraced the knowledge that gender is more a mind frame and inner feeling than a physical embodiment. While I do not dress as frequently as I would like, I treat each time like a special occasion. I spend hours getting ready to look my girly best. When I'm done, I feel different...a more softer and gentle version of me. Since I can't be a woman, I have to settle for looking, feeling and acting like one on occasion. I feel blessed to be able to do that and it is enough to keep me sane, satisfied and loving life.
Well my therapist thinks I'm TG and I would have to agree.
To be specific I am a transsexual, and always describe myself as such when talking to outsiders. I have never, ever used the term t-girl and doubt if I ever will, as I believe it is just too vague a term, and a little bit too flippant. I am quite happy describing myself as just a plain old TS.
Visiting this forum has helped in figuring out that I am not TG, but a man who likes women's clothes.
It made me help realize that I just need to give in to my feminine side and not bother that people might perceive me as a bit girly sometimes.
Having a more integrated persona because I now recognize that, has made me much happier and more confident.
:battingeyelashes:i have been cd for as long as i can remember it's just lately i have been buying panties and other outfits and costumes and really enjoy them and dress whenever i can so i think i will stay a crossdresser
thanks
[SIZE=4]If you have ever read my posts you have no doubt that I regard myself as woman, so TS not CD.[/SIZE]
A__hole fundamentalists are a pretty small part of the US population. Unfortunately they have plenty time on their hands and 100% of them vote.Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas
Cdr here....but a lovely one at that!
I consider myself a Crossdresser. I get confused with Transgender or transexual. I'm a male that like to dress in womens clothes. Transgender or transexual suggest to me a person that wants to have SRS, I don't. I love females, their bodies, and the way clothes look on them. When I dress, I try to look as good as a GG. I like the feel of womens clothes against my body. I like the feel of the make up on my face and the smell of the perfume. I guess I'll always be a CD.:2c:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzy Harrison
It's the same for me - except that I'm not happy or content yet. Gotta take the next step.
I am definitely a CDer, and have no desire to change.
Yes I'm a T-girl now that I started my transition ,taking hormones and seeing my terapist and being Jennifer 24/7 I cant be happier.