Is It OK to crave being with a man only when I'm dressed as a girl?

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Originally Posted by AmandaM

This has been stated a lot. Can we call this the ultimate in TV-fetishism? Should we call the end result just gay sex? Can we call it validation for an internal TS identity? Phew, I'd like to be the genius that figures out the cause of why CD people have sex with men. Nobel prize in medicine. LOL.

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Exactly. Some of the opinions seem too foreceful, too loud almost, to be real.

I found three interesting articles about fantasy from Psychology Today. Each one presents a different angle. They're a good read:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic...the-safest-sex

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-more-you-itch

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...xual-fantasies

And from the last article, this insightful tidbit:

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Originally Posted by Psychology Today

In fact, there are many people who report that when they have attempted to fulfill a fantasy, they end up disappointed by the mundane reality of real-world sex with real-world people. In the real world, one cannot manipulate reality to create large, ever-responsive penises and cannot provide an endless wardrobe of costumes. In the real world, one must deal with the pesky realities of other peoples' needs and feelings, must deal with the issues of our bodies and their biological and physical capacities. Kahr quotes a patient, saying "Sometimes, a mindf**k is better than the other kind.

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You said it so true Cassandra. This topic and subject is so open and so varied to so may members hare and non members , and as I have seen it, it is a breakdown of the true definition of what is Gay and what is hetro, just like Bill Clinton when he was caught, in his argument, began to to ask, what is sex?, what is oral sex? Now so many blatant crossdressers, not just on this thread but hundreds of pervious threads have said they are 100% totally, without a shadow of a doubt, are 100% heterosexual. I'm sorry, but in my way of thinking and of all my observations with all of this, and of all the years of study and of the hundreds of in face conversations, to me all crossdressers are at least bi –sexual to a degree. So what is the degree, some of you may ask? Well for some of us on here, you may not have ever been with another crossdresser, but you have given it very serious thought, you may have even did the old self gratification with the fantasy in your mind as you were doing your thing. I feel, that if you’re going to be on here and talk about who and what you are, and I know that some of us on here have a lot to lose because of what we are, but I think it’s a disgrace to the crossdresser community to do all we can to look and feel just as feminine as we can possibly look, and then get on “certain” threads and say you are 100% totally heterosexual.
So there are some, that have SRS, physically changing from boy to girl, then saying you are lesbian. For you still like or want to play with or be with a women, well that’s all and good, but who on here that has had SRS and has never been with a man?? And if not, how long ago was your SRS? There are some corssdressers that have never been with another crossdresser or another guy, but you’ve at least given thought to it and fight it to a degree.

I mean, if you’re a guy that on occasion throws on a pair of panties, and that’s all you do, and that’s ALL you do maybe you are exempt from my philosophy , but those that, have so many panties, bras, forms, pantyhose, garters, wigs, make up, skirts, blouses, so many dresses, heels, wigs, etc then you have had bi sexual thoughts, you may have never acted upon them, some of you may have, but at least you have given it thought. And in giving thought to that, if you have ever masturbated with bi sexual thoughts, then you are bi sexual.

It’s a liken to a circus clown that puts on all his clown stuff and does his performance and says, he doesn’t like to be funny. Or if Evil Kneivel just got through jumping a 50 yard jump over 4 buses and then gives and interview at the end and says, “ I like to live a good “safe” life”, or like a cliff diver that says he is scared of heights. Or a liken to a known street walker hooker that all the block has been with and then you ask her, how you doing bitch? And she objects and says “don’t talk to me like that, for I’m a LLAADDEEYY”, like Sha Nay Nay.

Yes, I know I’m going to be attacked from all sides of the so called spectrum, and when I am, then maybe I need to add another aspect to and about crossdressers, they deny. Then I will check all their previous posts and find them on the opposite side of the denials in this post. And I ask respectively that no GG’s respond to this post, yes the thread, but not to my post. I ask that any opposing views to my post here, to be real, and not use old cliché’s like “spewing your ignorance, etc”. I know I have ranted, and it just may be my last rant. Or am I only to just say nice things and to never disagree with some of the deniers? Get real crossdressers. I love all of you, really

Love & respect to all, …………..Tara

*grabs a bag of popcorn*:thumbup:

Awesome Reine - Just read #102. I see you are coming out of your shell :heehee:
Love reading your stuff !
v.

Is It OK to crave being with a man only when I'm dressed as a girl?
Only if the guy isn't your husband, then you would have a problem me thinks.

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Originally Posted by Tara-mxy

You said it so true Cassandra. This topic and subject is so open and so varied to so may members hare and non members , and as I have seen it, it is a breakdown of the true definition of what is Gay and what is hetro, just like Bill Clinton when he was caught, in his argument, began to to ask, what is sex?, what is oral sex? Now so many blatant crossdressers, not just on this thread but hundreds of pervious threads have said they are 100% totally, without a shadow of a doubt, are 100% heterosexual. I'm sorry, but in my way of thinking and of all my observations with all of this, and of all the years of study and of the hundreds of in face conversations, to me all crossdressers are at least bi –sexual to a degree. So what is the degree, some of you may ask? Well for some of us on here, you may not have ever been with another crossdresser, but you have given it very serious thought, you may have even did the old self gratification with the fantasy in your mind as you were doing your thing. I feel, that if you’re going to be on here and talk about who and what you are, and I know that some of us on here have a lot to lose because of what we are, but I think it’s a disgrace to the crossdresser community to do all we can to look and feel just as feminine as we can possibly look, and then get on “certain” threads and say you are 100% totally heterosexual.
So there are some, that have SRS, physically changing from boy to girl, then saying you are lesbian. For you still like or want to play with or be with a women, well that’s all and good, but who on here that has had SRS and has never been with a man?? And if not, how long ago was your SRS? There are some corssdressers that have never been with another crossdresser or another guy, but you’ve at least given thought to it and fight it to a degree.

I mean, if you’re a guy that on occasion throws on a pair of panties, and that’s all you do, and that’s ALL you do maybe you are exempt from my philosophy , but those that, have so many panties, bras, forms, pantyhose, garters, wigs, make up, skirts, blouses, so many dresses, heels, wigs, etc then you have had bi sexual thoughts, you may have never acted upon them, some of you may have, but at least you have given it thought. And in giving thought to that, if you have ever masturbated with bi sexual thoughts, then you are bi sexual.

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So are you also saying that cisfemale lesbians who have all those kinds of clothes and like them must have had thoughts about being sexual with men at some point? No?

Then why do you say that about transfeminine people? Why do you think clothes define sexuality?

As for crossdressers fantasizing about other crossdressers, part of that probably has to do with the implicit guarantee that they'll be accepting, which many straight ciswomen won't be (let me emphasize so no one skims over "many" -- I don't mean all of them.) How many of those who fantasize about that actually get a chance to act on it? How many would? I would wager nowhere close to most.

All that said, I agree that those who say "I'm only into women, but [girlname] really wants a man" are probably in some degree of denial. But then I don't get the depiction of [girlname] as a separate person anyway.

Justine, I think you hit the troll on the head.

Anyway… Badtranny I have the butter.

Here is some of my experience which of course means it might not relate to a single other person who has responded on this thread.

Sex with my skirt the one being lifted Mind-blowing.

Sex with another man’s skirt being lifted maybe even more Mind-blowing .

Sex with a woman’s skirt being lifted probably not as Mind-blowing as the line above.

Sex with a another man’s pants down definitely not as Mind-blowing.

Sex with my pants down definitely not as Mind-blowing.

Sex with mine and another man’s skirt being lifted not attracted to it never done it.

Sex with mine and another women’s skirt being lifted ehh fun but not Mind-blowing.

On a date having the door held for me, because he is a gentleman and loves my heels. Fantastic

On a date holding the door for him because his bra is showing through his top. Wicked

On a date having the door held because he thinks I look great in a suit. Nice

On a date holding the door for him because he has a cute smile. Well at least I’ll have a happy ending,

On a date having the door held by her. Exciting because she has hand cuffs in her purse.

I obviously have likes and dislikes. I identify as bi for the obvious reason that I’m attracted to both genders under different circumstances. All this is a long winded way to say GO FOR IT LISA!

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Originally Posted by Girl

I love all aspects of being a girl, so yes, I really love being with a sexy man when I'm dressed as a girl!

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Personally I think being with a sexy man is even better when we're naked!

Whatever floats your boat go for it! The only thing I don't like about this type of statement is the assumption that gender implys sexuality. "I love all aspects of being a girl" so if your a girl you must love being with men? I'll be sure to tell my lesbian friends they've got it all wrong!

It is not okay to crave being with a man. Come here so mommy can spank your bottom!!!!! :D:D:D

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Originally Posted by SabrinaEmily

So are you also saying that cisfemale lesbians who have all those kinds of clothes and like them must have had thoughts about being sexual with men at some point? No?

Then why do you say that about transfeminine people? Why do you think clothes define sexuality?

As for crossdressers fantasizing about other crossdressers, part of that probably has to do with the implicit guarantee that they'll be accepting, which many straight ciswomen won't be (let me emphasize so no one skims over "many" -- I don't mean all of them.) How many of those who fantasize about that actually get a chance to act on it? How many would? I would wager nowhere close to most.

All that said, I agree that those who say "I'm only into women, but [girlname] really wants a man" are probably in some degree of denial. But then I don't get the depiction of [girlname] as a separate person anyway.

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SabrinaEmily, thank you for your response to my post. Now I hate to sound like a dummy and I would love to do a little learning today. I'd like to start out by saying that I do not know what a "cisfemale lesbian" is. If you would be so kind to enlighten me as to what that is, then maybe I could then explain myself better in this "cisfemale lesbian" label or title or would that title or labe even be part of what I said in post #102.
loce & Respect.........................Tara

I think some people are being a little delusional. I too have fantasies of having sex with men while dressed up and most likely it will remain a fantasy as I'm in a committed relationship. Otherwise, I have no interest in men and am usually checking out ggs as they walk by. Although I do have to admit that as of late, I am checking out what their wearing like heels and skirt and wondering if I could ever look so good. I identify as hetero but I have no illusions. Because of my fantasies I am not 100% hetero (and neither are the guys who are banging hot CDs, in fact they are less hetero than I am). And if situations in my life change and I do follow through on this fantasy, there's no way that I could claim hetero because of the technicality that I was wearing women's clothing. I would have to at least be a little bi if not fully. I still love women so I couldn't be all gay. Nobody likes using labels but let's not kid ourselves either.
I love the posts so keep up the discussions.

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Originally Posted by Kim Young

Nobody likes using labels but let's not kid ourselves either.

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I agree Kim! Delusion and Denial are apparently twin cities in the great state of Justification.

I said earlier that CDs who still claim they're straight even though they fantasize aout being "taken" by a man while dressed are in denial, and somebody actually sent me a PM and said I was in denial!!!!

HA! I'm on record that I'm strictly dickly so I don't know what I'm in denial about?! ;-)

Sometimes , I feel this desire, to be with a man being his sexy female partner. Sometimes, not.

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Originally Posted by Tara-mxy

I do not know what a "cisfemale lesbian"

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A genetic female who is a lesbian as opposed to a transsexual female who is a lesbian. A "cissexual" is the opposite? of a "transsexual"

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Originally Posted by CapHill Kelly

Consider that you may not be turned on by the guy as much as by being affirmed in a feminine role.
(That is to say you don't crave sex with a man as much as you want to experience a relationshipp as a female.)

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This post hasn't received much attention, but it should have. For some crossdressers who know they are straight but still experience an attraction to men while dressed, this may be the explanation. The discussion seems to have turned into being bi or gay but not really admitting it. Surely, there are crossdressers with unacknowledged gay tendencies. It is what it is, and it will probably find the truth in time, but it would be inaccurate to call gay any crossdresser who had a thought about being with a man while dressed.

There are differences in the words we use: fantasized, thought about, considered, desired, contemplated..... Thinking about something is not the same as desiring it.

I love the female image in over-the-top glamour. Female or crossdresser, I love the look. So I dress in that style, my male eyes connected to my male brain admiring my feminine reflection in the mirror. I have chatted a lot in the past and shared my pics with interested but polite men and other crossdressers who, like me, love the over-the-top dress and makeup. At times I sensed that I was having a sort of psychological attraction to men who liked my crossdressing style, and began thinking about...fantasizing....what a personal encounter would be like: someone (a man) mesmerized by my presentation, wanting to be seen with me, kiss me, touch me. Then I carried it through....contemplated.....if it became sexual, and that's where the fantasy door slammed shut. Male parts do nothing for me, nor does a male touching my parts. It was nice getting attention...feedback....for my transformation, but when sex came in, the fantasy collapsed. It was all a psychological, not sexual, attraction. Easily intertwined and confused in the fantasy, but easily separated in reality.
While others say that just thinking about being with a man indicates latent homosexuality, it is the contemplation of the sexual encounter with a man that confirms that I am not gay.

[QUOTE=Aprilrain;2601055]Personally I think being with a sexy man is even better when we're naked!



Most definitely!

As I have posted before, if you can love another man you are Gay. Everything else is sex.

I just don't see it any more complicated than that. :) Of course I have been wrong before.

Kitty

I crave the femdom of my wife and I having a 3some and her controlling it. Making me do certain things and saying certain things, but only as Cindy. Never as a guy. Some day it may happen. Or we'll just roleplay forever. Either way, I know I have it way too good to complain about anything in the dressing department.

I have been out only twice with a man while dressed as Carol it's something I have always wanted to do just to see what it would be like.
Neighter time was I ask for sex or even hit on, guess men figure an old lady can't do it anymore.

Again, I totally agree with you Cindy

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Originally Posted by BlondeFarrah

Again, I totally agree with you Cindy

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Hmmm, I think I've already made a friend!

Didn't you know?? ALL men are bisexual. After all, we all have both X and Y chromosomes.

Hey, just saying.....................

Cute Pic!
You already know the answer to your question.
It is still good to talk about things as they can be very confusing when you are TG'd, or what ever you would like to call it.
I try to fight it still, but when I put on my girl clothes it just clicks. I do not want to desire men but I do. I would rather be...well I am me and proud of that. I am an amazing person. Having the feminine sensitivity that I possess combined with the strength and singular focus of a man...is a blessing.
It is still a challenge for me right now, and I am hoping that in the future I can be more out...............
You are pretty amazing yourself. Living your life and expressing your self. You Go Girl!!

Look, unfortunately this will forever remain a question not genuinely answered since there are many crossdressers who are married whose marriages could be threatened by posting the genuine truth. I honestly think as many guys are bi as girls are, which means a lot more than people imagine, and this falls into it. But, that also won't be genuinely answered because of the common belief of "bi today, gay tomorrow" holding people back from giving honest answers, too. Additionally, there's also the idea that bisexuality = promiscuity, also false, as well. By telling the truth they risk both their marriage, and being boxed into something they aren't (just in denial of being 100% rainbows and limp wrists with no ability to be monogamous), so they won't.

But, to truly answer the question: No, nothing's wrong with it. Defining your sexuality can only hurt yourself by potentially boxing yourself into something you are not. Don't focus on labels and just be yourself. The truth will set you free...

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Originally Posted by Sophie_C

I honestly think as many guys are bi as girls are, which means a lot more than people imagine

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I think a larger truth is that people do not like to think themselves in a minority, so they do convince themselves there must be many others who feel just as they do ... hence we end up with a lot of blanket statements and loose, statistical guesses. :p

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Originally Posted by ReineD

I think a larger truth is that people do not like to think themselves in a minority, so they do convince themselves there must be many others who feel just as they do ... hence we end up with a lot of blanket statements and loose, statistical guesses. :p

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Bingo. Lessens the "guilt", if everyone else is "guilty", no?

When I'm dressed I want to have sex with myself..
I must be gay!
:hiding:

I have always told my wife "I'm a woman trapped in a mans body, thank god she's a lesbian!"

I desire men when en femme and sometimes when in drab. To each his own...

It used to be that way but now I think I prefer men and what they offer all the time, with that said though, I've never been with a man while not dressed and I still love women. I just like what a man has better than what women have when it comes to sex.

Since I am bi I like to be with men either dressed or not dressed I feel a lot sexier when I am dressed though

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Originally Posted by Pythos

I become lesbian when I am dressed. LOL

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This ^ -----

i don't know if it's common, but i do understand how you feel. i have hooked up with guys as a man, but when i'm dressed it feels better. at the same time, when i hook up with girls and i'm dressed it does'nt feel right. i think it has to do with roles in bed. there has to be a TOP and a BOTTOM.

I have some thoughts on this. And, I mean no disrespect to anyone with this. One, that the desire for male appreciation is simply to reinforce the feeling of being attractive while dressed in female clothing and/or behaving as a female. Two, it's a suppressed homosexual desire, that one can only allow while presenting as female, perhaps because our upbringing was such that anything to do with that was considered so completely unacceptable. Three, and this is the one I went through: The desire is a knee jerk reaction to wanting something that was previously only available when dressed as a girl, and then having sex as a girl. Starved of affection, the only source I had as a kid was the guy who dressed me up and had sex with me, then held me closely for a while after having sex. After he left, even though I found males disgusting, I sometimes felt like I wanted to have sex like I previously had with him. But even as that desire disappeared and was replaced with fantasies of being treated in much the same way by the girls of my desires, the crossdressing was still there.

I have those urges. I just feel so ****ty sometimes when I am dressed so xdress1 I know how you feel.

Question: "Is It OK to crave being with a man only when I'm dressed as a girl?"

Lisa, I think it's fine if it makes you happy.:) In my case, no , I'm into women regardless of how I'm dressed.

Xdress, I know the feeling but would love ot b in a mini skirt and ****ty low cut shirt and boots.

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Originally Posted by Iskandra

When I'm dressed I want to have sex with myself..
I must be gay!
:hiding:

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Sounds more like autogynephilia.

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Originally Posted by kassy

Xdress, I know the feeling but would love ot b in a mini skirt and ****ty low cut shirt and boots. Kneelin gin front of a guy in th eparking lot or in the bar bathroom.
My panties are definitely wet now

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Okay, but you know you're gay right? Please don't try to argue that you're not gay.

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Originally Posted by Badtranny

Okay, but you know you're gay right? Please don't try to argue that you're not gay.

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Yep they're both gay :) I can't understand how what you're wearing makes much difference.

I also am only into men when dressed as a woman. I like the feel/look dressed as a woman that gets a mans attention.