After reading these, decided I needed to update to a different avatar. This is from a glamor studio photo shoot-back when. The silver "dress" was just a top with no back, to go from customer to customer. Shame I really like the "dress".
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After reading these, decided I needed to update to a different avatar. This is from a glamor studio photo shoot-back when. The silver "dress" was just a top with no back, to go from customer to customer. Shame I really like the "dress".
I prefer to keep my pictures in the Picture and Video section, that way only members can see them. As someone mentioned, avatar photos are there for all to see, including anonymous guests (I'll assume this is a true statement, admins speak up if it is not), so I'll keep my photos in the other section so I can semi-control who gets to see me dressed.
For those who say they won't friend someone without a photo avatar, or question someone's story because of their avatar, if you're that skeptical, research the member. See if they have posted in the picture gallery or what other types of threads they have posted.
For a lot of us, there is a certain level of anonymity that we would like to retain for a variety of reasons. Some may feel comfortable enough to post pictures in the Photo Gallery, but not as an avatar. Others may not feel comfortable putting a picture of them dressed out here on the internet at all, I respect that. It does not mean that I don't believe anything they post, I take everything people post at face value until proven otherwise.
No picture. No avatar. I had the latter, briefly. It felt too contrived.
Regarding pictures, it's all about risk to me (my threshold is zero), and I see little point to a picture that doesn't show one's face. Like some, I do scan for responses from specific people, so I understand that usage. I also understand Melissa's point, though it pains me a bit since I do not use a picture.
Lea
Life is nothing more than what you perceive it to be. I am fighting giants yet others see me jousting with windmills. My avi is a picture I took of a pewter statue of Don Quixote I purchased on a trip abroad. Set in a forest of grass, he is reading a book while taking a rest during his quest for fighting for chivalry and an era he wished to be part of.
My avi is very personal, even if it doesn't show my face. Any future avi I use will also carry deep significance for me. I hope anyone who is upset that they can't see my face can accept the fact that my face may not be as important to me as the way I feel and the way I wish to express myself.
Great thread! I don't have a problem with people not posting a photo of themselves, but would prefer that they had some recognisable image that reflected who they are (or they wish they were). The images give everyone a better visual clue as to the person, and this helps in understanding what is written. It also aids ID when combing through threads. Fractured's image is instantly recognisable, and now it has been explained... I get it.
I use a photo because I am probably vain! I wanted to get a good image of me in real life and have previously posted different pics and changed them. It was then suggested to me that changing my avatar messed things up as people do look for what they recognise. So I haven't updated this for a while... but then I don't look any different really.
We all have reasons for being here and we all have our own reasons for what we do. I am here to be Kaz and express this side of me. It seems perfectly natural to show her. Will I be recognised? Highly unlikely and if I am it is by someone who is interested in this world we inhabit. If their reasons for being here are suspect, I really don't care. These people usually show themselves at some point and get bounced.
The photo is Kaz... i.e. me with some make-up and a wig. No big deal.
I would like to give an opinion as to why, even though I am not one of them. I suspect some are so far in the closet they are on the next floor of the apartment building. Many are just discovering who they are, many are young, many are afraid, many don't have a camera yet, many just fetish with hose and heels for instance, the list goes on.
I like to change my pic from time to time just because I can and do not necessarily pick a 'best' pic but rather one that fits the mood I'm feeling at the time.
I don't have a picture as a girl...yet. My situation was complicated before these feelings came up, now it's venturing into the unbaerable. Some day soon, I hope, I will have a picture of the real me as an avatar. I'm choosing to not put something else up because I want it to be me.
Lots of good resons have been given for not having a photo, and I have no problem with those who don't want to post one.
In my posts I make no secret that I am a pleasure dresser and prefer to dress and make up in a very over-the-top style. My photos reflect this, and I like to hear from other cd's who are similarly driven and express themselves similarly. I understand that my preferred style may draw criticism (and it has), but it just shows me that some people don't understand that we have different drives and ways of expressing our different drives. Not all of us dress and make up conservatively to blend in public, but rather dress and make up to please ourselves. I get more positive comments than negative, so on balance I consider having a photo online a good thing for me.
As Eryn said, having a photo avatar helps me identify my posts in a thread.
it is the real me in my avatar. If some one recognizes me please send a note and we'll talk. I figure if some one sees me on this site they're here for a reason. No offense to this site or the people on it but it is not a real interesting site unless you are into CDing. I surf by her lots but I have an interest and I get bored with it sometimes.:daydreaming:
I have often wanted to show my pictures on the forum, I actually like being seen when i'm dressed. I am extremely fortunate to have a wife that approves and participates, I am able to express my feminine nature around her almost when any time I want to except when our grown children come over. My wife doesn't set many boundaries except that I do not post pictures on the internet, she doesn't like the internet and has seen how it has effected people in a negative way so that is a rule that I follow although I don't really like it, I suppose it's a small price to pay for such an understanding and loving wife (I still don't like the rule dangit) so I won't risk my relationship over this issue.
Linda
Jess, before I put my picture up, I had three concerns, 1) being recognized 2) I had not come out to my wife and 3) I feared I looked terrible (a dude in a dress). After I came out of the closet, she told me no one would ever recognize me, she can't even see "me" in my girl face, she also told me lowlight pass at a distance. So I jumped in.
Be careful about this. :) I say this because I've been there too. Seeing my SO dressed was such a departure for me from the way he looks in guy mode, that I was also convinced she would never be read or recognized. I hate to say this, but CDers and the wives who love them seldom have objective views on the matter, which when you think of it is natural.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
The proof that my earlier assumptions were not true was, it became apparent as we increasingly went out in public, people just seemed to "know". They treat us kindly and with respect, but they still know. Also, a young woman that my SO had befriended in another town (this young woman had only just seen my SO dressed), came to a restaurant in our town with her boyfriend, on a night when my SO was there in guy mode. She immediately recognized him, despite seeing him as a guy in a completely different context. And I have to add that my SO in my opinion passes very well (she and I are similar heights ... she wears low heels and I wear 3-4" heels, she does not wear a wig although in guy mode he keeps his long mid-back hair tied at the nape, he has small hands and feet, no square chin, no adams apple, no beard shadow since he's had laser treatments, etc), although he does look like a guy in guy mode.
[SIZE="3"]I'm sorry if some of you think less of me, but I use a cartoon for privacy....This one also represents the cowgirl in me.
[/SIZE]
Easy. Military service is the original reason **self edited with apologies** response was to a specific poster on this thread NOT the op.
it was only a question of why you chose the picture you did. Your answer was completely valid, and I'm sure we all respect you for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Crysten
I'll never post a picture since I enjoy my privacy and feel for my security. I transitioned decades ago. When I consider that I've worked for companies that have employed staff who are deeply religious, others who are bigoted, and still others who are ignorant and uncaring I see good reason not to drop out of my stealth mode.
I've even had a couple of friends who have shared their opinions about transexuals and transvestites. One such instance involved an elderly lady friend who referred to her step son's friend who was transitioning from female to male as "it". I've taken many opportunities to educate her as to how hurtful her remarks would be to her step son's friend. Her step son's friend eventually suicided and I explained that he must have been under extraordinary stress and in much pain to go through the process of transition which obviously alienated so many people. My lady friend knows nothing of my past before transition and I have no intention of sharing it with her.
There are many people I choose to not share this transition with and there are plenty of people who do know. We no longer talk much about it and I really don't see a reason to.
It's interesting to me that before I transitioned I had a big secret, then while transitioning I opened up and shared all of me with just about everyone I knew except my employer, and after the whole transition phase returned to a stealthier mode.
Take care, good thread... Karan
Just updated mine to replace the old ones that had my face blurred out. Still a bit nervous about my face being on here, but it is slowly fading thanks to all of your wonderful ladies and the gracious compliments!
It was a promise to my wife that I wouldn't post any pictures where the general public could see. As far a I know the avatar is visible to everyone on the site not just members.
Jessi, Interestingly, I've thought exactly the same thing only just recently. Matter of fact, I was going to ask one of my Friends this exact same question, just didn't know how, or when? Now I do, but first I have to finish reading all the posts; that answer may already be here? :DQuote:
Originally Posted by JessHaust
I'm posting here now so I can come back any time my 'lil 'ol heart desires, so thanks for the thread. :battingeyelashes:
L&R
M.
PS My avatar speaks volumes for me now, but in the very beginning it was an avatar of Lady Gaga.
BTW I'm not Gaga over her, just her figure... :devil:
Never really had a good picture. Probably need to find some one to take some decent ones. The avatar is definatley something I'd like to resemble
I honestly do not have any pictures of myself dressed enfemme. I chose my avatar for a few reasons.
#1- I love the outfit, it is exactly the type of clothing that I like to wear, and I would love to look like the girl that is pictured.
#2- I really liked the quote that was across it...it fit me like a pair of satin panties!
I really have no desire to have pictures of myself dressed. It's just not my thing.
Hi Jess, Out of respect for my wife who asked that I not post any pictures.
Nothing to be ashamed of my pictures look somewhat passable for my age.
Always live within your comfort zone. You have to be you. If you aren't sure what non-members can see, there is an easy way. Come to the website, don't log in, and browse around. I won't log out right now to check myself, but I believe you see the M2F CDing, Transmasculine, Trasnsexual, and Upcoming Events forums. Plus you will probably find that you will see the avatars of members, but of course you can't get in their profiles.Quote:
Originally Posted by Renee W
Nothing keeps the peace like respecting your wifes requests! 31 years of marrage have taught me that.Quote:
Originally Posted by BLUE ORCHID
Good for you.
I chose to use a real pic because I feel that it's empowering. In every part of my life, I'm "required" to keep Staci a secret between my wife and I, because society can't accept it any other way. This is the one place that Staci can have her moment in the sun. And in public. I feel that when I'm on the forum, I'm among great friends that aren't going to belittle or bash the way I look. Everyone here is special--and beautiful. Maybe some pass better, or look more feminine, but everyone here should feel comfortable about who they are. Be proud of what you are or what you would like to become.
This is the one place that you can get away with being yourself--Don't take it for granted! This is a truly special group of people!
Staci
I couldn't agree more with what you've said. It's so true, i spend alot of time and effort not to mention money trying to make myself look feminine and i am always keen to show any pictures i've taken of myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smile
I understand some peoples fears if being recognised, but how likely is that? I look quite different as a woman. And if by any chance i was recognised, why was that person looking for crossdressers on the internet?
Although not many people know i dress, and i don't go out as much as i'd like to i'm proud of who i am and i'm not afraid to show photos of myself.
Katie
It's because from the neck up I haven't taken a shot that I'm happy with yet. And I always feel like I still need to do a little more work and get one of those lucky angles.
I think I probably will post one soon enough... but it just hasn't happened yet.
Hello, Katie! You look great in your avatar, and I can certainly understand why you're proud of who you are. But I think a lot of girls on this thread have given very valid reasons as to why they don't post pictures of themselves. I really don't think you should judge other people's circumstances by your own. Perhaps we should let each judge what is best for herself, and where there are good reasons not to post pictures, perhaps everyone else should try to understand that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie83
Best wishes, Annabelle
Knee jerk response to a particular item.
I guess if some don't want to friend up with people who post stock, cartoon, or no images that is up to you. It just seems a bit discriminative, sort of like judging the book by its cover. There are lots of long time posters in here who are nothing but genuine, supportive, and caring to members who do not have pictures of themselves on the cover. I feel lucky to have some of them as friends. I personally think the content of a persons posts are more important than a photo (which could be easily faked).
As Forrest Gump would say:
"Thats all I have to say about that"
Suzy
Hi Jess, My avatar along with my signature is kind of a statement... Although no one has ever commented +/- I have never been able to bring myself to change it. I do have a head shoot in my profile. Be interesting to see how other respond here... Most seem to like the real photo avatar and have to admit that it is more friendly and helps connect with the girl posting. Always enjoy the Huttonmeister's avatar offerings as they seem to capture her personality very well. It's a talent. Alisa.
As I am very new to the site still, I havn't been able to figure out what kind of avatar I want to go with... chances are I'll use a picture that I've taken somewhere, (photography is a hobby).
There is still a huge percentage of the population that has quite a low opinion of crossdressers. Whether you experience it or not, lots of people make life more difficult for us, behind the scenes where you may never see it. They make fun of us, see us as less important than 'normal' people, and in some cases, actively do mean things to us such as what you see in the news about physical attacks against people who dare to cross the gender line. So, I stay in the closet. And I overhear lots of negative remarks over the years about crossdressers. I saw two medical doctors note in their charting that the patients they were treating were sexual degenerates. That stays in your permanent record, by the way. You may never see it. But every person involved in your medical care, including everyone in the insurance companies that cover you, can read that about you. Who knows, it may affect your being hired, or even your credit rating in some way. Sure, it's technically illegal, but word of mouth can be the little thing you never hear about that is the final strike against you.Quote:
Originally Posted by JessHaust
My ex wife blackmailed me during our divorce, getting everything she wanted, or she would have made my crossdressing public to everyone.
So, I never put up a picture anywhere of myself that can be connected to crossdressing in any way. I am very, very careful not to give even potential online dating partners a picture until I am absolutely certain they will not out me; there are online sites where women can put up a file about men who have 'done her wrong', along with a picture of him. So any woman who for any reason, could put up my pic should I even temporarily make her angry with me, and her review simply stating that girls should be aware that I'm a crossdresser before becoming romantically involved with me. Then BAM, I'm on the net openly as a crossdresser. So no thanks, I won't be putting up a picture of crossdressing Lexi any time soon.
Sometimes_miss,
Well it really sounds like you have had some real pain. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
But, Crossdressing is not a sexual degenerate and any doctor who labels anyone as one is wide open to lose everything in court. I doubt any respectable doctor would risk it.
I know that you have to be true to your own values, but if someone tried to blackmail me with exposure, I would just rip the rug out from under them and tell everyone myself.
It's your life, own it.
Well I agree.You only put a clearly identifiable picture on the net when you're ready to come out. I would also state that if you're intending to go stealth even this is too much. I know it's difficult, as a female, not to display, but if you're intending to get that special guy, then keep it special, just for him. Believe me, the guys appreciate it.
I was completely against the idea of posting a picture for the longest time. I'd say to myself "no way in hell would I ever", but my feelings have slowly changed. I find that as my wardrobe and makeup skills improve, I am more anxious to share. I get all done up to the nines but no one ever gets to see me. This is why I ultimately decided to post my avatar. I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea of posting pictures here and more will eventually come. I honestly doubt anyone would recognize me, anyway. I could probably e-mail my avatar pic to my mom and she'd have no idea that it was me. Hrmm.... I sense an experiment coming on.......:D
Some of us have legitimate reasons we need to stay in the closet. I suppose I could post a pic of myself dressed but with my face hidden, and I may do that some time, but somehow I don't think that will satisfy the spirit of this thread.
By the way, while facial recognition software is not currently good enough to do some of the things our governments want, it is good enough to pick my face off a web quality photo in spite of the best fem makeup and wig work I can do. If you have both drab and fem photos on the web be aware.
I'm a little late to this thread but like one or two others, I'll simply state that what you see is what you get. Those here who know me in person will attest to that.
Finally caught up with this thread again...
So... Those who aren't using real images of themselves are seen as ever so slightly lower than those who, according to a few posts on here, OR (don't be quick to judge), they are not seen (obviously, scroll down the page as fast as you can, see which posters you recognize as you hit the bottom at full speed)... One, that explains a lot of why I seem to be a ghost, and two... Those posters just answered their own questions/thoughts.
GBJoker, if it means anything, I don't have a hierarchy of who's more valid vs. not, based on their avatars. I know that some members are concerned with privacy. I also know that some members might not feel they look as feminine as they might like.
I tend to put much more stock in what they write. :)
Never liked my picture taken,very few pics of me from childhood to date,some for security reasons ,some for government,and I beleve one no two with a police department.If someone does not want to friend me because I don't post any pics then so be it if you don't believe my treads than no biggy.Quite frankly I do not come to this site to get approval from anyone.And there is the security thing cause once it is on the internet it's there for the ages.
Lisa.
I understand not wanting your picture taken, I have a daughter who absolutely hates having her picture taken. Irony here, she is about to graduate college with a photography major!Quote:
Originally Posted by Feminin Allisa
But I disagree that you dont come to this site for approval. We are all here to get some approval by our peers. It is the primary draw of this site, to be able to read about and ask questions to other CD/TG people, it helps us feel not alone.
Um, I don't want to call you a liar, but I HAVE seen you in person and I will NOT attest to that. You happen to be prettier in person.Quote:
Originally Posted by RachelOKC
I'm sorry, but you know how I am about honesty.
My pic is of myself but I can't reveal my face. I'm way too paranoid that someone I know might spot me. I definitely prefer to keep this part of my life compartmentalized from my normal life.
NO thanks. I went through my childhood with a target painted on me (for another reason), I don't need to go through life being 'a boy named sue' and having to get into fights for the respect I deserve. I just want to be treated like everyone else. I hate to tell you, but despite the feel good attitude here, being a crossdresser isn't a highly respected behavior. I don't see anyone ever telling the world 'Hey, MY friend/father/brother is a Crossdresser!'. Don't see any women proudly proclaiming it about their mates, either. It'll get you about as much respect as coming in last in the special olympics if you're a normally abled person. So as much as I understand everyone here's desire to have self respect, I don't understand why anyone would like to do anything which could make their life more difficult; and like toothpaste, once it's out, there's no going back in. While technically you're now right, professional mental health workers don't consider crossdressing the disease state they used to, the average person on the street DOES consider us perverts.Quote:
Originally Posted by JessHaust
Yes, but I could care less what the average person thinks. Either they accept me or they don't, it's no skin off my teeth.Quote:
Originally Posted by sometimes_miss
I think that the entire underlying message on the forum is - Enjoy who you want to be, not what you think everyone else thinks you should be.
That said, I really do understand your reservations. I was terrified that anyone would find out for 50 years. But now that people do know, I realize that I was tormenting myself, nobody else really cares.
I have to disagree. The average person on the street does not consider us perverts. Based on my experience they may think we are different and maybe even weird, but not perverts. And as Jess says, I really do not care. It is their problem not mine, because I can and do exactly what I want when dressed out in the real world.
OBTW Lisa and Jess bring up a couple of points I neglected to make in my earlier post. Thanks, girls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feminin Allisa
Can't stand my male pics at all; never have, never will. MOF I don't even like to look in the mirror for that very same reason :Angry3: - when I do, all I "ever see" is from the shoulders down, which I approve of very much BTW. Period. :daydreaming: Except,of course, Misti's pic. "Now that's a difference," as Mick would say? "Viva La Difference!," as they say in France. :devil:Quote:
Originally Posted by JessHaust
Actually, I meant to post the second pic... sorry 'bout that! :D
I agree with this. I seriously doubt the average person feels threatened in any way if and when they read my SO and I. Some don't care, some might be intrigued, some may be OK with it as long as they're just looking at a stranger and this isn't someone who will date their daughter. If they do judge, they will keep their opinions to themselves because they know they'll never see us again anyway! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by AllieSF
It is the people who are closer to us who will have stronger opinions, the friends who may or may not invite us to their next party, the work colleagues who may feel uncomfortable, or the family members who stand to disapprove the most for a variety of reasons.
I use a real photo of myself. I'm also afraid of being recognised, so the picture is from some distance away.
One of the first posts showed a picture of her shadow. I thought this was fascinating and have done some shadow pictures of myself. I remember the first time I noticed my shadow and how feminine it looked, I was entranced and started taking pictures of my shadow.
Hannah
Well I guess that is not all I have to say, I need to add to my other post.Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzy Satin
AS for the Original post, I do not post a real image for many of the reasons already stated so I won't belabor those. I do not pretend the one I do post is me and I have had a disclaimer above my avater since i've had it.
Something else has got my Ire up and i'm not even Irish. It was mentioned in a post (and who posted that is not the issue) that by not posting a real image that there was a lack of honesty. BULL. Let me repeat that, BULL. Sure there are those who hide behind their anonyminity and pretend to be something they are not that do not have a real photo but I guarantee you there are also people posing behind photos that are not them. To make a judgement based only on a photo is a choice I guess people can make but by calling people that don't post a real photo less honest is a slap in the face in my book.
When I first started on this site I tried to make as many friends as I could, I thought I needed to do that for some reason. One of those who did accept me as a friend took me aside and gave me some good advice that I took to heart. It was something like "This site is not a about a popularity contest, it's about connecting with others and building friendships with others in our community". I purged and basically started over.
I make my decisions for friending based more on the content of their posts versus a photo. I find that the book is way more interesting than the cover.
I think another good point would be also that this site is not a beauty contest either. I come here for the conversations and discussions but mostly to have fun. Threads that seem to just put labels on people or cause hate and discontent I usually steer clear of.
Sorry for venting but once my Ire is up I either vent or explode.
OK, this has been way to serious, I think I will take a trip down to the trivia section and unwind a little.
Take Care Everyone.............
Suzy