Oh yes! Yes yes! But that's just me. If you're not sure you're gay don't do it. You are young, things will change. No reason to rush into anything.
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Oh yes! Yes yes! But that's just me. If you're not sure you're gay don't do it. You are young, things will change. No reason to rush into anything.
Jennifer, I've read other studies where they've measured arousal from the same sex in otherwise heterosexual people. This stuff happens.
Kinsey himself was an entomologist by training, I believe. He got stuck trying to teach a class in sexuality, and couldn't find any research on it. So he did some.
Politics makes this stuff hard to fund, I think.
BTW, I don't think any of the science here is great.
It doesn't really bother me one way or the other, to be honest. People are going to do what they do, and they'll rationalize it one way or another.
Again, I have to ask, why are we analyzing this to death? Is there an unfulfilled need to fit into a specific box? I've come out to around 10 GG's from my past and present who have have told me, "BE YOURSELF!" I'm actually going shopping dressed with a GG friend I've known since high school over 40 years ago! She has even supported me to just "BE!" They've also told me to get rid of the mental baggage and to be who I am and just get over it! That's what I'm doing. And I'm FINALLY loving and being who I am.
Cheryl Ann
We've had many threads like this one over the years, and other members have often said they would like to try "with the right man". So if you don't mind me asking, can you describe in general terms who "the right man" would be for you?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheryl Ann Owens
Does it have anything do with how he looks, how tall he is, or how macho/not macho he is? Or are there specific qualities (personality) that you prefer in a man? Or does it have anything to do with how he sees you and looks at you when you are dressed, in other words if he accepts you fully as a woman and treats you like one? Or anything else?
... also, would this only be when you're dressed or would you also like to have a sexual experience with a man that has nothing to do with the CDing, with you and him both in full guy mode?
Thanks for your response, I've long wondered about who a "right man" might be when CDers say this.
As those old ones like us have 'senior moments'... you're having a bi-sexual one. Don't worry about, normal hormones raging, normal fantasys, if it happens, so what.
Reine, it's difficult to say. Men, just like women come in all shapes and sizes. And for me it would make a difference about a man's approach to me and how he would treat me. Yes, looks are important as I would not want to be with someone who doesn't take care of themselves with hygene or manners. I would also want someone that I could feel protected by, maybe someone strong. Because I feel I am "programmed" to be feminine and female I would want a man I could trust and treat me like a lady, again with respect. Clothing wouldn't really matter. I would want to have him enjoy being with a woman and that is where clothing might make a difference for him knowing he has a classy lady who has lots of self esteem holding onto his arm. When the lights go dim I'd just make him glad he was a man, and me a woman, and have him make love to me, and me to him. There would have to be some chemistry to ignite the relationship. We could spend time as two guys later (me in drab) at a ball game knowing we share something special. That's the best way I can say it. This is who I am.
Cheryl Ann
Cheryl Anne,
So to summarize, a rather strong, attractive, macho male who loved being with you as an attractive, classy woman and who treated you as such, and who further would fully appreciate all the things that women do to men.
Thanks! This makes sense to me and I dare say that someone like him would be the right man for many other CDers too. :)
I want a MAN not a gay.Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisontheGoddess
I have nothing against gays, but inside me is a woman and she wants a real man.
Is this the real Reine? I actually agree with her. lolQuote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Hi Sean, long time no see!
It always made sense to me that some CDers fantasize about having sex with men, and the prime reason for this is a wish to be desired as a woman more than having any real attraction to the man. If the guy wants to be put in that role, then everyone's happy! :)
I agree with that, I think most CDers are attracted to women and just fantasize about being with men as a part of the autoerotic fantasy of being or presenting as a woman. But there's not anything physically about men that I think CDers actually find to be sexually stimulating, it's just the idea of experiencing sex as a woman or in the role of a woman. It's still sexuality thats focused on femininity but it's autoerotic in the CD context.
But I don't think straight CDers would be happy in a relationship with a man. Especially since they would have to be crossdressed to be with them. It might provide a cheap thrill as part of a sexual fetish, but I think it would be a mistake pursue that, especially since the more universal attraction to females is more at the core of the CD identity and that never goes away.
There's nothing wrong with fantasizing about being with a man, and a man is a man - gay or not. It's another thing to do it, and I personally haven't but enjoy thinking about it, simulating it, but as I'm pretty happily married - NOT doing anything about it. It actually makes me understand my wife all the much better, and why she wants me to be a male, and a strong one at that.
I do fantasize about being rid of my male parts, being wholly female. And by that logic, gotta use them how they're intended in my book and that's what guys are good at. Plus there's the unmistakable power dynamic that once you let yourself go and accept that if you want to be a woman, and act like a woman and let the other half do his thing, then you're home free. It feels natural and easy. And isn't that what we want (well some of us)? I personally want the ease of being in a gender role that fits me.
But it's a long time off for me, and I have a great imagination. Thank goodness for that!
Darla
I believe there are a fair number of GGs who feel that kind of man would be right for them also. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
So a gay man is not a real man? Hmmmm, I must not have gotten that memo. :) I am assuming Marie is using the term "real" to mean straight. I know some gay men who are as manly or more manly than many straight men. Manliness and sexual orientation are not exclusively and inversely related.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie_Antoinette
I've been around this planet long enough to define my feelings. I've always felt to be submissive. And I've always felt to be the submissive partner in a relationship. I am not attracted to gay men. I'm attracted to strong masculine straight types. In my heart I have always felt feminine and I've felt like a charade to be the male to produce children and (pressured to be) the "guy" in the relationship. Maybe I'm wired this way, but I know, even to this day, that I could enjoy to the extremes, lovely silky lace surrounding my soft feminine body, and a rugged man taking full advantage of his gal and treating her like a lady. That lady, I wish, could be me!
Cheryl Ann
For some months I have been seeing a young man and he is gay but VERY manly in everything he does.
You wouldn't know he was gay to look at him and he doesn't have any of the prescribed outward signs associated with being gay.
I was in 50/50 mode when we met and he prefers when we go out I dress enfemme which I have no problem with.
I could see myself in a long term relationship with him.
We have dabbled a bit sexually and its has been very nice.
I don't put much stock in anything Kinsey has done he is a fruitbat.
As I have gotten older, I have come to realize that I am only sexually interested in men. This was not alway true. Now when I see a good looking women, I find myself checking out her outfit!!!! I have only been with one guy, but I will admit that it was my most fullfilling sexual experience in many year. I guess I have evolved into a TS with hetro female feelings?
I suspect this is pretty common...I do it, in fantasy only...where I think it's harmless...women dream about men all the time. When I dress, I am as close to being a woman as I can...maybe some womanly feelings about men just take over...but it's temporary..when I take off my dress and heels and go back into male mode, the thought of being with a man never even occurs to me.
I think Ciara09, is spot on in her post. Its kind of odd for me, in that I find myself strongly attracted to other sissy cds I have seen on other sites.
I've been doing cybersex in a chat room once in a while for the last couple of years. At first I was looking for other crossdressers, but it turned out that some men were attracted to me. It's been interesting and exciting. Getting compliments, being hit on, and everything else makes me feel more like an attractive woman. I guess I'm bisexual, but I've always been reluctant to act on actual sex with a man.
Hi AllisonQuote:
Originally Posted by AllisontheGoddess
I suspect that what youre wanting is to experience the forbidden fruit of being with a man in a sexual manner. I understand that some may want to experience this to feel a sense of total womanhood. All I can say is the bad part may the feelings afterward. You may not feel the same after the experience but then again everyone is different. In my case when I was young before I was married I would be excited and wanted to make love to every girlfriend(GG's) that I would go out with and once we had sex I would like want them to disappear and not call me again. I wouldn't feel like most men I guess(another notch on my pistol) but I would feel somewhat disgusted that I went that far and I just lost another friend since I wouldn't really want to see them again. I suspect it would worst if another man was the victim(so to speak). Just my opinion of coarse.
my therapist once told me that its many a CD's desire to be validated as a woman. How better to do that than with a guy wanting you or you wanting a guy and having it be reciprocated. Nothing wrong with that.
A note of warning. I am bi. i had a long term relationship with a guy once who hated the fact that i loved to dress and preferred to be en femme. He once told me that if he wanted to date a woman, he would date a GG. Needless to say, that seriously hurt. If you do move forward with your desire to be with a man, make sure you do it with eyes wide open. Today i am with a woman who loves me as a woman so i have no desire to be with a man again. Just saying
Yes, as aalynn88 says I think that about sums it up for me too, I have fantasies mainly involving ********!. But I know for a fact in the hard cold light of day I could not have any feelings for another man. Only interest would be in the nether regions.
Nicky
xx
I started thinking again about this. While I'm married to an awesome lady, she is very open-minded. I'll admit, we haven't had sex in over a year. She has been going through menopause and so have I. It seems like our relationship is changing but changing for the better. I feel more womanly than I ever have. Our interests have shifted to enjoying having a nice house, and now that I'm retired I have taken on the role of being the housewife while she is still employed. She loves coming home to a clean house and all the dishes are done! I just need to learn to cook. LOL! She loves seeing me im my house dress when she gets home!
Would she mind if I had a boyfriend? Maybe not. She knows I have experimented, and she knows that she wants me to be happy. She also knows that she comes first in our relationship. I also know that I will do whatever it takes to assure her happiness.
Cheryl Ann
I had similar experience. I tried so hard to be a women, and he could not be bothered. I recon the best is to go for a straight man who wants a women in the first place.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabrina133
Gays ans straights have different vibes.
I'm so glad I found this site!
Quote:
Originally Posted by aalynn88
This is certainly the number one attraction for me too although I do love being flirted with and made to feel like a princess! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicky63
Dear Carolyn
Thats ok...I agree fully that it is just a paradox in reality but there is still NOTHING like being together, out in public playing the role of man and women then going back home to get near each other and dream the dream.....
Well, when I’m drab I like girls and don’t think about guys until I’m dressed.
When I’m dressed I don’t notice girls because I’m looking for guys to notice me.
I don’t think of myself as “Gay” or “Bi”, I just think of myself as a guy when in drab and a girl when dressed.
Makes perfect sense.