#2 for me.
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#2 for me.
#4 With the exception I hide my stuff in plain sight.
#4 for me!!!! :'(
OK, so it is constantly changing. #5 for the first 24 years of marriage. Then came the botched coming out and an extremely tense #4. Six months of that misery led to the re-reveal and my dear wife did her best to hold on to #3. Two months of that was too much and she threw me out of the house Lifetime Movie style. She didn't really want to throw me out so I came back, conditioned on living at least a #3. She did her best, helped once with make-up, lent me a skirt, getting all the way to a #2.5. She was able to hold that for about six weeks. Now we are somewhere between an unhappy #3 and #4.
2 for me but we go out as often as I'm comfortable with. I'm usually very private so although I feel the need to go out, I very rarely do. She knows this and doesn't push- "when you're ready " she says.
Put me down as a 2.
Somewhere between 1 and 2. (GF not wife)
Has never bought me female clothes, though has given me some old yoga pants to lounge around in when I was visiting her place before we moved in together. Has bought me some colourful male stuff, to encourage me in more exotic outfits. Example, came home the other day from the thrift store with a fairly spectacular waistcoat in an embroidered brocade, doesn't quite fit, so haven't used it yet, another project in my clothes modifying pile. Has given the thumbs down to some clothing/outfit choices, though mostly that's been a matter of style rather than gender. Has never objected to how I dress around the house, or how I come to bed. I could wish for more actual enthusiasm, but that's perhaps being a bit greedy.
My wife has moved from a 2.5 to a 1.5 almost overnight. 2016 could be a good year. I've only been cross-dressing for a year, always at home. My wife, let us call her Kathy, seemed to accept it, helped me find right sized bras, gave me primers on eyeshadow and mascara. But she seemed to draw the line when the breast forms I ordered arrived.
"I think you are going a little too far," she said.
Still, no problems with my nighties camisoles panties and makeup.
I would wear a camisole and panties to work for the secret little through it gave me. Just recently I have been wearing the breast forms when I go out -usually covered up by a sweater, but the sweater came un zipped yesterday and she saw my "breasts" through my shirt. No problem. I bought my first dress yesterday - with Kathy's help of course and just love the way it moves across my ass. And today Kathy and I went to Lane Bryant so she could use her gift card.
It was my wife who gave me the courage to ask if I could use the dressing room to try stuff on.
It was no problem at all.
What a liberating couple of days!!!
I am living in a #2 world. Quite grateful that she is that accepting. Maybe one day we will venture closer to #1.
I am between 2 and 3...stuff is out but we are still working towards a full #2
My wife is a 1. She has bought most of my clothes. She prefers me dressed and often says she is disappointed if I don't dress.
#4 all the way.
#4 and I'm so disappointed...
Started out with 5. Then she found all my stuff and destroyed it. We're now at 4, after a lot of therapy for her. I can buy things, but she wants no part of any of it. Even seeing what I buy. Still, it's an improvement.
4/5 Well today I said to my wife "since you won't dress up for me how about I wear a dress?" she said if you put on a dress it better be when I'm not around.
3 to 4; she has borrowed clothes and given me a few things. I have a special dresser in bathroom and dress nightly - after hours. But she shrieks if she sees Joni. Mixed signals seem to be the norm many of us are navigating. Joni
Hi Krisi, Lets see when i first met my wife an I told her, she was a soild 2, when I moved in she wore more of my cloths then I did. Now a big 1 as I am able to dess any time I like an when we go out she would rather have Josephine then Joe. I have the same stile hair an color as we go out as sisters most of the time. Jo
[QUOTE=Krisi;3870203]OK, this is sort of a poll. What is your wife's attitude towards your crossdressing?
I guess I'm between a 2 & 3
2) She accepts it. She may shop with me, she doesn't make snide remarks or give dirty looks when I am dressed around her and she treats me normally when I'm dressed. I don't have to hide my stuff in the basement, it's hanging in the closet with my other clothes.
3) She tolerates it. I know she would rather I didn't do it. She may make comments from time to time.
Of course if we are going out, it has to be Homer, she doesn't want the neighbours to see or meet Martina.
When we have been on a short break with friends on the last night Martina comes out and joins in the with the fun for the evening/night.
My wife has told me that my legs look good and has remarked how well I walk when wearing 4" heels.
Could it be better? I suppose, but I think I'm pretty lucky and I don't want to mess up what I have.
Martina
5 for me. Would love to tell, but while it would be great to become a 1, 2 or even 3 ( actually, I think I might cope with a 4) I worry it will be a 6 and we split up. It's such a potentially life-changing gamble to come out.
I'll play:
The simple answer: mostly a 2 with tendencies above and below.
The complicated one:
My wife is great to me but, she has qualities all over the lower numbered half of the spectrum. She does buy things for me without me present: 1) when I ask (i.e.: nylons, makeup or other toiletries), 2) when I don't have to ask for celebrations (i.e. birthday, Christmas). We do frequently go window shopping together, me always in drab. She will pick things out but never designates who she thinks would look good in it. I can sometimes figure out what she likes for me-- mostly by the size or the cut of the neckline, other times I'm not sure where she is going with her remarks. We have, on several occasions, specifically gone fem shopping for me. As another member mentioned, I've taken several items into a men's dressing room and sent her pictures of what I thought looked best. Her replies were always supportive and constructive. On a few occasions she has suggested that I go out in public solo. I think her biggest fear is us being made, recognized and/or embarrassed. Part of this is also our difference in height, almost 1' difference if I wear anything more than a 2" heel. I just don't think I pass as well as I would like--too tall, broad shouldered and just not passable. She also does not protest my dressing at home but if I dress and catch her off guard (& I can only assume she has time to prepare before she sees me dressed if she hears me walk in heels on the hardwood floors) she always turns away, just for a moment, before she is able to then turn back to me and treat me as normal. It is kind of like she is shifting gears. Also, depending on her mood, she will make a hurtful remark or gesture about me dressing, one of her frequent comments is,"I was going to ask you to go to the store for/with me but, I guess not now. I'll just go by myself." and then escapes quickly before I can descide if I would like to change clothes and go with her. She knows my fem name but only uses it in the Third Person and almost always when we fight, even if the disagreement started off with nothing to do with my dressing. Lastly, besides underdressing in panties only, dressing for romantic times are off limits. I tend to push the boundaries because presenting as myself is emotionally uplifting to me. Her bedroom support would be a huge step from tolerance to acceptance but, I try to understand where she is coming from.
As I said before, she is fluid but overall great towards my dressing. I would love for more support from her but I understand where she is coming from. Just like she cannot change my needs I cannot change hers, only she can and she has done wonders for me thus far.
Hugs,
-E
PS: Wow! 120 replies in this short of a time? I support the thought of this thread as a Sticky. It has been quite educational and eye opening as far as "We are not alone." would be concerned.
#5 My wife is against cding
After 25 years of marriage, still at #5, would be happy even if things moved to #4. If I can work up the courage to have "the talk" it could be #3.
I'd say a 1.9, only due to no public outings together. :) I will never take for granted how fortunate I am.
#2, with a mix of #1. I don't know if she enjoys it, but she does accept and support my CDing. She does not want me out in public dressed, and I am respecting that 100%.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
She does go shopping with me, and since we are similar in size, she also tries on the clothes so I know the clothes that are being purchased will fit.
Add me to the "mostly a 2, with a touch of 1 and 3 list." She does shop with me and even encourages with "buy it" or "you'd look good in that" comments. I don't need to hide anything, but she isn't comfortable with me in makeup or a wig. Then again, she has offered me cosmetics she doesn't use anymore. She simply won't participate in any form of "educational" dialogue, and is paranoid that neighbours or friends will see me and question her about it. Other days she is absolutely fine with me in a skirt or dress the entire day around the house.
Karen
Between a 3 and 4. After all these years little progress.
Between a 2 and 3. My wife tolerates, will buy items - like pantyhose only if I ask, ad I do not have to hide any of my clothes or makeup. She knows this is part of who I am but struggles to participate. I doubt it will every be better than a 2.
"Dressing" is not always the issue with wives. May you should add a number category such as: does your attitude and behavior change when you are dressed - does the wife like that?
Pretty solid #2 here, It has taken some time to get here,
But honestly, My wife accepts me, more then I accept myself.
Not really a number that applies. My wife knows, I wear panties all of the time and she does the laundry. My "girl" clothing hangs in the closet with my male clothing and we share the closet. So she knows everything but doesn't want to see Abby in any form. I buy my own clothing as there never any" gifts" from wifeypo.
Mine has been #1 since the day I told her everything. She is willing to to go as far as i am willing to go with this. She has never denied me my freedom since the day we met which was quite sometime ago and is almost unheard of in the grand scheme of relationships. I haven't had to make any "compromises" and she is game for going out any time i want.
Is there a #6???
#5 unfortunately. The irony is that, if I thought that she'd be anything other than horrified, she's the one person in the world that I'd want to tell.
My wife was a #1 before her passing she supported and encouraged me. She never went shopping alone and not bring me something pretty home.
There wasn't one, some of us added a '6' because our situations were worse then any of the 5 options. The person who got hit in the head with the frying pan might even be a 7.Quote:
Originally Posted by RedFourteen
3. She lets me have my time but she stays away. I understand how she feels but I often feel she is driven more by learned prejudices than actual distaste.
The "Threads" that we post here on the Forum always provoke a sense of reflection for me and possibly others. I view this as a good thing. As far as the original post goes, I would give myself a #3*. I say that with the exception that it fits me well, but my wife seems to not be snide or negative when my CDing comes up, but more some stony silence. I wish it was more a #2, but it appears to be working for now.
2 for me
What a fascinating read this thread has been! For me, it was a 5 six months ago, but I finally came out to my wonderful wife and I'd put us between a 2 and 3, probably much closer to 3. My clothes have moved from being hidden in a box in the basement to a drawer in the bedroom. She knows they are there but at this point is not interested in seeing me dressed (says she's not ready for that yet) and I understand and respect that. She has however had no objection to me being underdressed a few times and seemed to enjoy having that "secret" in public, so I consider this progress. She's also on a couple of occasions given me time in the house alone to dress when she could tell that I needed it- at my request.
I'm hoping to get to a solid 2 at least and am fairly confident that will happen with time. Not sure I even want to get to a full 1 as I have no interest myself in going out in public fully dressed, I'd just love for my wife to enjoy this and have fun with it around the house as much as I do.
It's so cool to meet someone else that met like we did... We met here on the forum, became friends then dated as Sher and Di , not meeting the guy for a while. Now married and it's just our life:battingeyelashes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Acastina
So 1 here... It's just us being us and living life.
I have been in all of those categories since I met her 35 years ago!
Went something like this:
#1.5 -> #3 -> #2 -> #4 -> #2 -> #5 and finally #"6" (stopped). Probably many more category hops along the way if I was really to analyze it, but this gives you the picture.
I told her a few weeks after we started dating, not a problem. Would call it a #1.5 as we did not exactly go out as girls, as none of us were ready for that. (so as an aside, telling early is no guarantee of an easier journey!).
After some years, she did not like it at all and it started becoming a problem, #3. Then when I started falling apart, she, somewhat reluctantly, accepted that this was a part of me, #2. Then she realized that she just couldnt deal with it, #4, until I really started falling apart which lead to #2 again.
Some time later, it became a real problem for her and she just blocked it out completely and we magically ended up in category #5! Honestly, as strange as it might sound, her ability to apply denial actually made it feel like she never knew about it at all.
I eventually just had to stop dressing all together and thats where it has been for a number of years now. No category defined by Krisi for that so I'll call that a "#6", non-active.
In retrospect, a lot of the changes for the worse have been entirely my own fault. I could not control it and pushed to boundaries too far, but thats for another thread some other time.
It has not been a fun ride.
- Suzie
Suzie,
Did you ever score a goal ? I thought my goalposts keep moving but still not as bad as yours !
#2 for me :)
I'm a solid 3 on this scale. My wife knows but has no desire to see me dressed. She wants to keep it hidden from our kids, with the caveat of waiting until they're old enough to understand and keep confidences. We have been talking about it more lately so I hold out hope of category 2 being a possibility.
:) That has definitely been a big problem with this for me, "Moving Goalposts". None of the category changes were discussed or announced, I would just slowly realize that something had changed. As I said, a lot of the problems were caused by me pushing the boundaries, but the problem was, I never knew where that boundary was in the first place.Quote:
Teresa: Suzie, Did you ever score a goal ? I thought my goalposts keep moving but still not as bad as yours !
- Suzie
It would be #1
I am a 3) with a little bit 2).
She accepts that this is a part of me, and my clothes is in my closet so she can look whenever she wants. I tell her when I’m going out, but she really doesn’t want to talk much about it. This was an agreement because in the beginning she and I hated that I had to lie to her when I was out. She hasn’t seen me dressed yet, but I hope it will happen soon. I am shore she would like this part of me to disappear, but she tolerates that this is a part of me.
To some extent we are a 3. I wear panties almost constantly and they are in my underwear drawer. She bought panties for me once two years ago. While she did fold them for me at the beginning, she doesn't do that now. She throws them in my drawer. Now, that is not a big deal as I do the laundry, it is telling. She does not say anything about me wearing panties. I sleep in them, don't hide them and wear them everyday. She does not know about my other clothes and I do not know her reaction but I know that she does not want to be divorced from me and I believe that if I pushed it, she would not openly object to my other clothes. She would tolerate it but not be "down with it". At this time, I don't feel the need to add that to our dynamic.
I fully agree with Taylor between 2 and 3 similar comments too.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Taylor186
My first wife was a 3 trending toward 5 as the marriage disintegrated. My second wife has been at #1 from the day we met, I am one lucky TV.