I gave up and admitted it was fetish.
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I gave up and admitted it was fetish.
STOP APOLOGIZING.
(please)
You are who you are, regardless of your expected role. You are still a good person, yes? Isn't that what really matters?
I do it because I find it FUN. I am what I yam
I'm sooo sorry 😢Quote:
Originally Posted by mechamoose
Hah, just poked MM, let's see where that gets me 😂
Why would I ever apologize for being cute? :3Quote:
Originally Posted by mechamoose
I feel it maybe a fetish for me too......either way i find it fun
Nothing that can be shared in the public forum }:>Quote:
Originally Posted by Robin414
I may be cheap, but I'm not easy.
One word......
Freedom
In every way, shape, form, and context.
Freedom
It's who I am and just plain fun
Well said carhill2mn that is so true
My older sister wanted a baby sister when I was born. She was 9 years older than me and took care of me like a mother. I would hang out with her & her girlfriends frequently. In many ways she was much more loving & nurturing than my real mother. When she left home to get married I really missed her and began wearing her one-piece navy & white bathing suit that she left behind. I was 11 and started dressing up secretly pretty regularly until I was 15.
my sister made me do it as a child
I don't have a theory. I gave up trying to figure it out a long time ago. The "Why" is totally different than "What cross dressing does for me" as in stress relief. Stress relief? Why not illegal drugs?
However, my wife has a theory concerning transgender behavior. She speculates there is something called "past life regression." She is not speculating on situations where it may be totally fantasy. She is talking about incidents where people can name dates, time, people and events that are verifiable. She feels it is possible those past events that someone has already lived may influence his or her behavior.
Since this thread is pure speculation there it is.
And, if my wife believes my desire to wear women's clothing is rooted in some past life as a woman.....well, who am I to disagree with her!
My wife and I have had long discussions about this very topic. She thinks it's a combination of genetics and the environment. Regarding environmental influences, she thinks it may be related to the very strict upbringing I had from a mother who was very loving but also certainly a disciplinarian. And yet, I was expressing feminine mannerisms very early in life and began having crossdressing thoughts as early as 10-11 years old.
Crossdressing for me started when I was around 15 yrs old. When I changed schools, earlier I used to come home from school at 5:00 pm however when I changed school I was home at 2pm and i had nothing to do my sister was working and everybody used to come home after 5pm. Being shy and lonely kid I just feel in love with it. It became a time pass for me and then an obsession although when I started going collage in later years I stopped crossdressing. Now when I'm bored and got nothing to I'll think about it but I don't do it I've also grown beard now. So the theory of why I do it is when I'm bored as hell and got nothing to do my mind will just think about it
In my case, I feel I was born this way. How else can you explain.My earliest memories are of me wanting to wear what the girls were wearing
I'll answer with another question. Why does anyone develop preferences/aptitudes for anything, whether favorite food, colors, pastimes, sports, etc? Neuroplasticity. It's how we learn, by forming neural connections in response to associations made in our every day lives (for example, wearing pantyhose = pleasure). Each time we engage, we strengthen the neural pathway.Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah7391
Just because 😜
Another reason is petticoats!!!
Because it was and for all intent and purposes, still is taboo. And the clothes just feeling good on your skin compared to guys clothes.
There probably is no one reason people crossdress.
Some claim fetish, some for fashion, some feel they are part female, some know they are female in a male body, some for comfort, some to escape, some for role playing, some for sexual reasons, some because it brings them pleasure, some to counter social norms, some because it is kinky, some because there is a link to a childhood event or childhood behavior, some only underdress because it feels good - but most really don't know.
Lots of theories. Probably lots of reasons.
It's not a choice. I was born this way.
well said. fits pretty well my memoriesQuote:
Originally Posted by Confucius
It did not help that there were no girls or even youngish women around me while i was growing up in the boonies, not well socialize, older parentsbusy dealing with there old parrents that I had no idea that there habits, others would call "drinkers" I think of my self as spoiled rotten in some ways ,crippled in others. ohh well.
Nobody's taken radioactive insect bite yet? OK, I'll back that one. Think about it... Peter Parker gets bitten by a radioactive spider and he starts sneaking around at night dressed head-to-toe in spandex and getting all cagey about his real identity; constantly photographing himself with his camera on self-timer... I think it's a possibility.
OR... abandoned by aliens at a young age.Quote:
Originally Posted by Christie ann
ooh there is the" it's a CIA Steven King MK Ulta experiment" with" a side" of " helping the women's-wear economy" mixed in with helping population control and male de masculiazation not to mention men in heals can't run as fast ,so there's a way to slow the economy, if all the men wore hi heels, production in the private sector would certinaly take a hit. that might make it a china based conspiracy......but who would pay off the debt ?
I am so much man that I have to crossdress to provide some balance to the force. Kidding ;)
Seriously though, I couldn't have said the above any better. As to WHY gender is a spectrum and is not tied into sex, well that's a question that's a bit beyond my pay grade. If psychologists and researchers can't figure it out then I doubt anyone of us has a sufficient answer. Why let this worry you? We haven't got a theory unifying gravity and quantum, but we still use relativistic and Newtonian theories to keep satellites in orbit. Let's just roll with what we DO know, which is that we LIKE crossdressing. That's good enough for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by ShelbyDawn
I agree with this. We all start as female until that Y chromosome attaches. I believe it sometimes it doesn't catch all the way, so some males end up more feminine than others.Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill2mn
With all that has to go on, I'm actually surprised that there are not more cross-dressers.
The Results! :)
I'm an open minded, middle aged, gender fluid narcissist and I honestly look better as a woman...and what better way to experience life than to live half as you're 'birth gender' whatever that is...and the other as the 'opposite' right? 😉
To me part of who I am
When my mothers was pregnant with me she kept rubbing her tummy going "be a girl, be a girl"
Early in the womb two eggs were fertilized, one male one female, these two eggs collided and became one. There you go. My other theory is that while pregnant mom was hit by lightning which scrambled the wiring in my fragile little brain.
It started at a young age out of a sense of curiosity, a fertile imagination and fantasy. Many years later it still is about fantasy and escaping to be someone else for awhile. I think dopamine has something to do with it too :).
All I know and remember, is when I was 5, I loved to observe the pretty dresses my next door neighbor would wear and her Girlfriend. We would play together A-Lot, games like teacher, Candyland as well as Dolls. It seems now in retrospect, that the girls and their mothers treated me as one of there girlfriends.
I was always the only boy invited to their birthday parties and for other All Girl outings they went on. I even participated in a sleepover or two, slept in the same bed as the other Girls.
Sorry to go on with this answer, but my theory is "I WAS JUST BORN THAT WAY."
My mom was a Drunk, so she didn't care about much.
Sarah asked the largest body of crossdressers in the world what I consider a serious question. Confucius and ReineD gave some very good thoughts. I too have given this deep thought and research. I am sure there is a genetic component and research does support this, but no specific gene as of yet. I will stick to CDing compared to TS which might have another layer. But there is no known gene for homosexuality and yet the percent population that is that way has been probably constant for centuries. Why do we like crossdressing? Why do we like hearing children laugh? Birds sing? Sunshine? A favorite color? Etc ... Certainly the environment we live in before we set down permanent memory affects the brain development in ways we cannot remember. But other men also get exposed to similar environmental situations and do not crossdress as a habit/hobby/lifestyle, so I think genetics (or a much stronger stimuli ) are involved. Brains reinforce connections that give us pleasure, even if society disapproves. So each of us may have some part of the CDing experience that gives pleasure. For me, I think it is related to my viewpoint that I did not get enough attention as I desired as a child and saw that females got more with less effort. I did not consider myself good looking and saw good looking girls who had all this attention paid to them just based on looks and not hours of work and toil and social skills. I can imagine my mind desiring to look like that, to feel feminine, would get me the easy way to my attention I craved. So many boys might try on a mother's pantyhose, but only those like us whose brains had rewired to enjoy that kept at it and reinforced it. Adding sexual release with it would also strongly reinforce it. Over time, we may have changed what we need or how we see ourselves, but most started out young.
Either way, this is something we know no way to undo and it is not harmful to or bodies compared to other pleasure seeking behaviors like alcohol or drugs. Yet those have 12 steps programs to help those behaviors but not for CDing. So it is different in some way.
Just some thoughts
Hugs, Ellen
go get a comm-fee seat and log on to PBS > ORG search gean expression , cancer natuer nurturture all those key words. in there is one about how they poisoned rats, and the poison would show up expressing bad genetic issues in 90% of each breading cycle so after 100 generations it was gone.Quote:
Originally Posted by ClosetED
Or they used a band cancer drug in low does and the next generation was fine. they reset how the dna was expressed, through rna ! what you can flavor geans ? yup !
seems the way things are expressed is a set of manipulable geans through the environment. >>>>WWWOOOHHAAA ! WTF ? ooh yea way more plastic than we thought .
oohh and plastics poison by way of mimicking estrogen more questions than answers ? ooh well its the ride not the desdination
Yep, 'Vanishing Twin Syndrome', it's real, google it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzy Parker
For me might be the highly experimental radioactive 'Uber Makeup' the Germans were working on during WWII that my mom got her hands on... (those silly WWII German scientists, doing everything to the max, and playing with radioactive stuff with reckless abandon! 😉 )
Dear Sarah
My best theory to why we became cross dressers is that it is part of our inner genes and DNA ..YEt it was strengthened due to social , biological , and cultural influences .......I think it is the other way round .....you should ask how we became imprisoned inside the men body ????
because I don't believe in discrimination
Simply, because I love it! It feels natural........it soothes the soul, warms the heart, completes the puzzle and balances the equation!
I've shopped in the men's underwear department and the women's lingerie department. The latter is much more fun and enticing!
Katie01 You are quite right. imagination is the thing that got me going down this road. i have always like to make things and now i am making a woman in my likeness. it is also about the HUGE variety of women's clothes, types, colors, textures, styles, i could go on, and the Feel of them, (which releases the dopamine). Mens clothes have a couple of varieties, but nothing like women's. you can try on different things forever. and i intend to try them all. It's about the CLOTHES.Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie01
Lisa vin said it better than I could ever say. Yes Lisa, it does balance the equation... Great point!!!
I don't know other than having a strong attraction to the clothes.
Being a rationale person, I always try to figure out the why, even for crossdressing.
I would say that for me it is a mix of genetic and experience in my childhood.
Genetic, because as a little kid my brother used to dressed up as girl (me not at all).
Experience because:
As a kid:
- I used to play boys' games (football, video games (at this time it was more a boys' thing, biking) and girls' games (remember playing Barbie with my female cousin)
- I used to watch boys and girls' Tv cartoons with my sister.
As a teenager, once I saw a woman walking in heels in a movie, it must have triggered something in me and have developed some king of fetish for heels. But I do not really saw it as a kink thing, as ReineD said we engage in a lot of things. For me it is like why a football team became my favorite one. For me it was the emotion I felt during a particular game at a particular moment when I was young. This moment of the game is still in my head tweenty years ago.
My relation with my mom, with strong emotional bond but distant at the same time. We really look up to each other.
I have developed a strong curiosity for everything (it must be also a mix of genetic and experience) and never be afraid of crossing bondaries if i think they is no rationale reason for these bondaries.
Finally, with all that, it is almost logical if I became a crossdresser :).
When I dress, I feel relaxed and more confident with myself.
I really don't know for sure. What I do know is that I had feminine and gay impulses as a child, and I repressed acting on them as much as I could, out of fear that my father would reject me. It utterly would have destroyed our relationship for me to be anything other than straight. Still, I liked playing with neighbor girls more than playing with the boys, and I clearly recall when on vacations, preferring to play with the two girls who were daughters of the beach resort's owners, rather than playing with their brother. And I didn't mind at all that my mom, for purely practical reasons, insisted on teaching me to cook and sew and do laundry (like a girl) - because I wouldn't always have a mom or girlfriend or wife to do those things for me. She didn't dress me up or treat me like a girl. She just believed both boys and girls should learn what they needed to know to be self-sufficient. My sister learned to change tires on a car and do other 'guy stuff', too.
I do have one hypothesis that is interesting to consider, however.
Before I was born, my mom tried twice to have a baby. The first time was a single birth, I think a boy, and miscarried. The second was fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, and again miscarried. She sought medical advice and found one of her legs was shorter than the other, and the doctor suggested that the misalignment of her hips when she walked might have triggered the miscarriages. He had her put a lift in her shoe to even things out, and the next pregnancy, which was me, went fine. So did the birth of my little sister, the next time mom got pregnant.
So... what if the souls of both of those twins who didn't make it somehow got assigned to me? Could it be that I have both a male soul and a female soul, and just didn't split into twins in my own forming?
One body, two souls. Several cultures believe in that sort of 'two-spirit' existence as the reason for people who exhibit the traits of both genders.
For most of my life, I've let my male spirit control my body and life choices. Now I am allowing my feminine spirit to take control, for part of the time, and she loves it!
My mother believed my brothers and I learn to do all kinds of roles. Wasn't so sure she was teaching us to do things (like a girl) though. Not sure how one does those chores (like a girl) and not just doing them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceera
I accept the fact that I am transgender. For me, once I reached that acceptance, the "why" becomes less important.