Straight guy who wears clothing atypical to my assigned gender from time to time.
SJ
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Straight guy who wears clothing atypical to my assigned gender from time to time.
SJ
No, it is not. Unless, of course, you would consider me crossdressed as I sit here in a men's polo shirt.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarinaTwelve200
For CD's, it's all about the clothes. Nothing wrong with that, but that is not something shared by the vast majority of trans and NB people.
I personally don't know. I've stopped thinking about it. Am I trans or not? I don't know, but I do know I won't transition (financial and social reaons), so it matters little.
"Thy protestesth too much!" Don't blame me, Sabine. Shakespeare said it first!:heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabine Janus
Speak for yourself, Auntie! For this CD it's my mirror!:daydreaming: It hasn't been "just about the clothes" for 20+ years!:heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly
How do I know that I am woman, and not "Assigned Male at Birth", based on my physical anatomy?
When asked this question, I cannot answer scientifically, or medically with assuredness, but I DO respond with this analogy:
When asked why I think/believe/feel that I am a woman, I respond with this:
"Have you ever put on a T-shirt backwards? NOT inside out but front to back. You feel slightly uncomfortable but can't put your finger on the reason. It's your shirt, it hasn't shrunk, but it feels 'off' somehow. Suddenly, with a Homer Simpson "D'OH!" you realize the problem and correct it. All better.
Well, that is how I felt being labeled as masculine. The label fit, externally, but internally, it was uncomfortable and forced me to act, behave and perform as something I wasn't. For most of my life, I walked around with my "T-shirt" on backwards."
I dare y'all, to prove me wrong.
Wrong about what, Jazzmin?
That you're a woman or that your T shirt's on backwards?:heehee:
Like so many others on this thread, I too am "just a cross dresser". Although I totally enjoy being a strait man, I also totally enjoy those times when I can spend a day, a weekend, or even a vacation dressed as a woman.
It's not only fun but I also enjoy the erotic pleasures that come from pretending that I am a woman. Because I am lucky to have a totally supporting wife, there are no negatives associated with being a cross dresser. Both of us just accept ourselves and enjoy the fun.
You don't. Anatomy identifies our sex. Gender identity is something quite apart from that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzmin
What Kelly said.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzmin
A person can know in their soul she is a woman yet because of her anatomy was assigned male at birth.
Male/Female are designations of anatomy.
Man/Woman/Enby are designations of gender.
Gender and anatomy are two different things.
Yes, Wren, Jazzman doesn't seem to know but u do. Yet, u haven't properly replied to what this thread is about, "How and when did u "know" u were a woman inside?" :battingeyelashes:
Inquiring minds need to know!:)
I believe that a lot of people have misinterpreted my post.
When I wrote "How do I know I am a woman....". it wasn't ME asking but repeating the question that I have been asked many times and my reply. I use my 'T-shirt" analogy as an opening, to try to get my listener to get a feel for the sense of dysphoria that I have experienced. A sense of 'something isn't right'. Once a listener has that "A-ha!" moment of some understanding, then I can go further into explaining my feelings and reasoning.
And yes, to the ladies who pointed it out, I am well aware of the differences between gender and gender identity.
.
Edited to add:
PS - I apologize for the "prove me wrong" sentence, I C&P'd my statement from another discussion board and should have cropped that line out.
Sorry Doc, I guess my response from July
got buried by the dozens of replies from straight men, whose sexual kink is to rub one out while they’re wearing a dress in a hotel room.
I’m not trying to shame anyone. If that’s your thing, more power to you. But I realized rather quickly after being here that my motivation for wearing women’s clothing was not the same as the average cross dresser on this forum.
And for clarity… I am not a woman. I am an enby… a third gender in the tradition of societies around the world that have recognized humans for millennia who are neither man or woman.
So how? Like i said in my reply in July:
By “… questioning, [doing] research, experimenting and working with a couple of therapists, I admitted I am indeed transgender….”
When? Obviously, there’s no single date. But even prior to starting hormone therapy, I did some things that are part of physical transition. I had laser hair removal on my face, had my ears pierced and began trying to lose weight. But the deliberate steps in questioning my gender, trying to wrap my head around what i was feeling began in 2014 though.
And yeah, I think you’re right Doc. I don’t think Jazzmin knows what she’s talking about and I do. I’ve studied and continue to study gender theory, biology, endocrinology, anatomy physiology so I sound like a knowledgable, informed patient when talking to my doctors about transitioning.
Even in her above statement she says, she knows the difference between gender and gender identity. What the heck??? Sorry for throwing shade Jazzmin but those are the same exact thing.
LOL...
Like sarcasm, a rhetorical question, asked typographically, is easily taken the wrong way. Sorry about that. :)
Hmmmm...... this is the question for those of us at the [relative] start of our CD journey, isn't it?
For my part, having earned an undergrad degree in Drama, being able to dress as a woman is a wonderful exploration of my soul...and I can explain it to the rest of the world as simply being an appearance that is available to me, if and when needed. That's the plus side of a Drama degree...I have had specific training to assume the appearance of anything/anyone I need to be, for the sake of whatever role I am playing at the time.
Putting this aside, the deep truth of my life is not clear to me, yet....
...I have imagined myself as being female...cross-dreamer
...I have tried going out in fem clothing... CD...
...I have researched the realities of transitioning...trans...
...I am currently starting to assemble a Drag Queen persona...performance...
If and when I have an Epiphany of self-discovery, I'm pretty sure you ladies will be the first ones to hear about it. 😉
{It is reassuring to be part of this community, for the simple reason that it proves I am not alone on this journey.}
Be safe. Have fun.
Jenny
Despite appearances, I’m female, and always have been. I can fake being male. I’m good at it, and even enjoy it at times. But it’s an act and nothing more. Male clothing is a uniform that I’m forced to wear from time to time. Like soldiers, policemen and others, I remove my uniform and put on normal clothing as soon as I can. I get no thrill from dressing en femme other than the relief of getting back to normal. I hate male clothing. I didn’t wear a scrap of male clothing during the lockdown, and wouldn’t now if I didn’t work for a trans-intolerant employer. It's just the normal thing to do.
How do I know all this? I have no idea. Why do I love shrimp?
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamWren
Its not quite like that,
Why shouldnt straight guys enjoy dressing aswell? Do you consider that less important?
What a lovely post, Jenny! U so clearly hi lite both the options and dilemmas involved in dressing! And, I could feel the joy u get from exploring all of them!:battingeyelashes:
I'm sorry, Cythia. But, I don't get your "shrimp" analogy. If u never tasted shrimp, you'd never know if u cared for it.:straightface:
And, if u DID try them? Like them or not, that was the "shrimp" date in your life.
And, somewhere along in your life u 1st explored crossdressing. And, if u immediately felt u were a woman, that was when u knew!:thumbsup:
I seriously doubt u popped from the womb thinking, "I'm a woman"! :battingeyelashes:
Thank you, Ladies & Gents, for showing me that I don't know my a**e from my elbow about my own situation.
Even though I've been living 24/7 for 4 years.
Even though I've been on HRT for 3 years, with all the trial & error and ups & downs that trip has been.
Even though I've lost friends and become estranged from my family and endured hateful comments from the uninformed, just by being my true self.
Even though I lost employment because I became my true self and was forced to take a minimum wage position.
Even though my entire life has been upended.
Thank you all for welcoming me here, and pointing out that I know nothing about myself, simply because I used the wrong terminology! Did any of you judgmental people stop to think that sometimes. sometimes, a person's fingers type quicker that the brain (or is that backwards? IDK, apparently, I have no idea), and they post things without looking over what they have written?
I truly, truly envy all you folk who have never made a misstatement, for you are truly blessed!
U may not know that u can always go back and edit your posts, Jazzman:thumbsup:
So, if u r unhappy with anything u wrote? U can fix it!:)
Meanwhile, I hope u don't feel anyone was attacking u? Hopefully, they may have just been trying to correct u?:straightface:
In any case, I'm certain no one would trivialize what you've lived thru! Please feel welcome here. Because u definitely belong!:hugs:
Hi Kym.
Do I consider straight guys dressing like women less important? Absolutely not.
Again, I’ll reference my response from late July.
“I certainly agree with others that given the opportunity to explore gender expression (crossdress) without shame is an important component to figuring out one’s gender identity.”
A straight guy might even figure out in doing so they are in fact still a straight cis dude. Just one that happens to like looking pretty every now and again.
Hey Jazzmin… sincere apologies for being abrasive toward you, especially after you just started interacting here. You did say “I dare you to prove me wrong.” though. ;)
Really though… my apologies.
I'm a crossdresser. I like dressing as a women when I can, but I also like my life as a man.
I feel bad that some women spend so much time to look their sexy best.
When men just shower shave and comb their hair.
And long nails are so unpractical.
I put myself somewhere close to the trans end of the spectrum. I've been doing this so long it just feels like me. I started this by choice, not because I wasn't declared the correct gender at birth. I'm not trying to fix something. I'm just being myself in a way I feel comfortable. I don't dress much or do makeup around the house. When someone will see me I do. I don't work as a girl. Sometimes I shop on the way home. It doesn't bother me. It would bother me more to be at some big event or anywhere socializing. I don't know how to act in those situations as a guy. I'd feel like the special part of me is missing. I also don't know how to bring this up later. I'd rather they know upon front. There's too much giving it away these days. I think there more to question if I try to look like a guy. It's become easier to present as a woman. Fewer ambiguities. Well, maybe just one big one. Where does this leave me? IDK Is it possible there aren't enough labels to describe each of our unique situations?
Hi Doc,
I still haven't decided (after decades) what or who I truly am, so I can?t precisely answer your question. You tend to be a precise person, and I like you for that, but sometimes you look for answers from others you already know. I think you are asking for answers that are why most people are here. Why am I here, who am I, am I normal, can I ever be happy with who I am, are there others like me?
Moments of life are fascinating
Thanks for asking, I am loving the honest responses.
Always loving you, Brenda
I fear this will come back to haunt me. Yikes
PS Love the avatar
I'm just a crossdresser. I love dressing like a woman and trying to move like a woman, but am only attracted to women. No interest in men at all. At a former job I dressed every day. I loved it. It was so nice to be able to swish around the office and look at my puff sleeves in the reflection of my monitor. I do like being able to go back into guy mode at any time. I go to a lot of Pride festivals but don't really feel like I fit in. I wish I could dress as often as I want, but we're not there yet.
Gwendolyn
I believe u r misreading me, Brenda. I actually am very interested in the answers to my post. I struggled alone in a complete vacuum for 10 years, confused by my sudden need to dress, my desire to become a female, and a sudden interest in men.:eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by BrendaPDX
Then, when I came out online here I still delt with guilt, shame, and confusion for 3 more years! It took me all that time to figure out I wasn't gay or a trans! Simply a CD with strange thots and kinks!:devil:
Karren Have fun that's the most important But you know that
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
I am a cross dresser. I know that. I have had the opportunity to dress as much as I want and tried to but grew tried of it. I went out interacted with others, bars, restaurants, movies even museums. I found it to be a chore after awhile. I also realized what I would have to give up to transition. It was just to hard not to mention expensive. Now I still enjoy cding and going out. Who knows why but it is fun for me a fancy dress some heels and makeup, making myself pretty is fun. Kind of like golf or skiing, ok maybe a little different, but you get the idea and the urge. Good luck to all who are still trying to figure it out, do what comfortable and FUN
Well I'm deffinately a CD as for me, it's all about the clothes and just the clothes on their own. At least, thats what it's a always been for me anyways.
Jean, love this. Best label ever. I'm still trying to figure this out. I can never go wrong being me.
Grace, I assume that means everything has gone well when you're being u and badly when not? And, that's how u know when you're truly u and when you're not?:eek:
I'd have to say it's more the opposite for me! The more I'm myself the more all hell breaks loose!:devil:
I honestly cannot thank all you ladies enough for sharing your thoughts, feelings and lives here. I felt alone and confused about my identity for so long but when I found this forum I could see that I'm now part of a community of like-minded human beings on a huge spectrum of gender and sexuality. I only can share definitively what it feels like inside my skin, I deeply feel non-binary (and even that label kinda bugs me). I'm straight but have found myself attracted to men (other feminine men). I am a CD (since I was 10, 1965). I have also recently come out to my closest friends and family. I don't fully dress in public, but thanks to the support I feel here I now wear something feminine everyday and have grown much more comfortable with what I identify as my feminine nature (gentle and very sensitive). Life on the gender spectrum...
Thanks for mentioning non binary, Nancy. The more we come to understand how that effects all of us, the more threads like this will become obsolete!:thumbsup:
:yt: I agree!
way do people try so hard to deny being on the 'transgender spectrum'?? "just a crossdresser," "like wearing women clothes" seems that's just seems as though that's just a form of denial. It seems to me that if you enjoy wearing clothes thought of as typical of the opposite gender then you are, to some degree, "transgendered" Enjoy it
seems to me people who want cds to be on the trans spectrum have control and isolation issues.
these threads go nowhere positive and just drive division between cds and trans. problem is trans dont understand cds like i dont understand trans.
I don't know what to label myself. CD? Trans-light? Who knows. Labels are mostly for others anyway.
There is part of my brain that lights up when I see a pretty girl starting back at me from the mirror. Not just the clothes, but the whole appearance and persona. It knew I wanted this before I ever even put on any female clothing (i.e. since I was 6-7 years old). I love the way I look and feel when presenting as female. I don't have any dislike of being my male self or in my male body. If I had no family or social attachments or obligations, and could suddenly become a woman via a magic wish, would I? Probably for a month just to try it. But I'm not totally sure if I'd feel the desire or need to stay that way. Because of that doubt I don't really think I *am* a woman inside or fully trans, else I'd know that I wouldn't ever want to go back to being a man if given such a magic wish.
I think for me CD'ing is kind of like my absolute favorite vacation spot. I love it when I'm there. I feel free and happy like no other time. There are experiences and emotions I experience there that I simply can't back at home. I take tons of photos to remember it by. I always feel like my stay was too short. I wish to go back when I've been away too long. I plan obsessively for my next visit. But would I want to live there full time like a local? I'm not 100% sure, but I suspect not as it would lose some of its allure and magic. Plus I really like my home too, and I'm sure I'd miss it. At any rate, the many costs to move there permanently are too high for me, so it's a moot point.
Head on straight male who puts on clothing that society says doesn't match my gender from time to time
I'm sorry u feel that way, Paulie. My guess is u haven't gone out to meet other dressers much? I have met 100's. And, u know the only way I could tell the CD's from the trans?Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulie Birmingham
Was to ASK THEM!:devil:
Straight or not has nothing to do with this thread, Sabine. Or, with what kind of dresser u think u r!?:battingeyelashes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabine Janus
I thought I was CD into my 20's, but then it developed into T. No problems with that at all. I slipped into the role and that was that for my male clothes. Good riddance.
U make it sound so simple and easy, Rachel Anne. Was living thru your T development really just that matter of fact?:eek:
Some of us go thru many years of confusion, guilt, and self doubt before we figure it all out!:doh:
Hi Sherry,
I had a lot of good things going and some very lucky turns.
Doc, I've been thinking about your response for a bit. It would to be too much to say that everything goes well when I'm me/Grace is at the forefront, life is life. But coping is better, and that's how I know I'm that authentic self. Trust me, this girl can make hell break loose with a wave of her hand.
Jeez... generalize much?Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulie Birmingham
CD's are on the transgender spectrum, along with every other "gender non-conforming" label. It's got nothing to do with "control and isolation issues". That's simply the terminology commonly used to describe such things. I identified as CD for most of my life before coming to grips with the fact that I have been trans all along. That doesn't mean there aren't CD's who will be nothing but CD's for their entire lives. Of course there are, but I can tell you with certainty that some CD's will discover that they are something else. We see that playing out in this forum on a fairly regular basis.
I resent the assertion that I don't understand CD's. I absolutely do. I also don't wrap myself up in the ridiculous label debate, wherein everyone wants to define this or that label for themselves. Labels are words, and a word is only as effective as the collective understanding of what it means. In other words, there is a conventional definition for things like CD, gender fluid, etc. Use it.
I am 100% a cross dresser. I love wearing a dress, or shorts and a top, wearing nightgowns to bed, wearing bikini panties under whatever I'm wearing, but I am simply a cross dresser. Have no desire to transition. Since discovering my female half, think what you want about that, I have become completely happy with myself. Diane has made my life better by opening me up to wearing women's clothes, but all things considered I'm quite happy being a cross dresser and nothing more.
Diane P
You are what you are. Why worry about the label?
U don't need to worry about anything, Chistine.:)
Labels r handy when u wish to describe yourself to others!:thumbsup:
Completely hetro its just that my wife prefers me to look feminine and I'm now very comfortable in that role
"Labels" are important. The brain works with words---You can't THINK ABOUT anything if it does not have a name---- Unless you would rather NOT think about it. No criticism here, I could understand that.Quote:
Originally Posted by christine55
I'm just slightly curious. Can you tell us the reason your wife prefers you to look feminine? If that's a subject you'd rather not talk about that's fine, like I said just slightly curious. Have a great day/night.Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyJordan
Hi Diane It just developed from my wife persuading me to wear nylons in bed to keep her warm to adding more and more outside of the bedroom. She grew up in a competitive family and has said she always wanted a maid when she was young and had fancied girls before but loves me devotedly so sees dressing me up as a way to fulfil her fantasies. Although I do on occasions dress as a maid it is much more often in normal women's clothing although her preference for me is clearly toward the sexier styles it also indulges her loves for feminine fashion without the hassle and fuss of getting ready herself as her wish when she comes in is to throw on some super comfy wear. I do not dress outside locally but on returning home she makes it clear that I should ditch the 'drab' male clothes. It is not a domination thing although I do tend to be very submissive when dressed and she loves the transformation. We are fortunate she has a great job and it seemed inevitable that I would become the 'wife ' and dress accordingly as she says there has to be 'standards 'Quote:
Originally Posted by Diane P
I do fit with certain labels like male, motor vehicle engineer and pensioner which actually mean something to most. I happen to love wearing skirts and dresses with full underwear and accessories. I can do this without any extra labels.