am I the only one who LOVES being a cd?

Gabrielle,

I accept my desire to CD. Recently I've successfully opened a dialogue with my wife about it. She's known about my CDing before we moved in together nearly 9 years ago but only recently have I wanted to understand both my own and her level of understanding and acceptance.
She enjoys my dressing in lingerie and/or nightgown almost as much as I do, and that's even if we don't do anything at night! She told me recently that she prefers that I wear lingerie or a nightgown to bed rather than my drab PJs.
I recently started underdressing more, and likewise she enjoys stroking my leg or playing with a garter under my jeans or slacks almost as much as I enjoy the experience of wear the sexy lingerie!
When we get the chance, I'm looking forward to dressing more fully than my situation currently allows.

I really hate it!!! Guess that's why I smile so much!! :D

Hi Gabrielle,

Excellent post and I couldn't agree with you more! I'm like you, I also love this aspect of my life and I too honestly don't think I could ever be happy without being a cder. Some of the best moments in my life so far are due to my CDing ..... but ..... it wasn't always like this.

Once I got past the guilt feelings and started thinking more about being happy for myself (providing I wasn't hurting anyone) and stopped beating myself up for not conforming to what is expected behavior for a guy, things got a whole lot better. So I like to do girly things ... so what?

I am very fortunate to have an accepting and encouraging wife and so that has been HUGE in my self acceptance and happiness, but yes, .... I'm with you, CDing is a cornerstone of my whole being and I could never stop :)

Well, here's the deal. Unlike singing, which I choose to do and enjoy and can do or not do as it pleases me, I did not choose to be a crossdresser. It chose me. I dress because fighting the compulsion is more emotionally draining than just going along with it - and when I let the urge control me, I feel great.

So I can't give you a simple "yes, I love it" or "no, I hate it" answer. There are aspects that I love, and aspects that I hate.

I love the tactile sensations of the soft clothes. I love the fact that I have many "female" characteristics that make me a gentler, more compassionate person. I love admiring new clothes in the catalog or when I pass someone on the street, and imagining what they would look like on me.

I hate the social stigma. And because of that, I hate the anxiety that living in the shadows has caused me. I hate the expense of maintaining two wardrobes. I hate the discomfort it causes my children (and, to a lesser extent, my wife - she has never spoken against CDing, but neither has she said anything encouraging either). I hate the fact that it IS a compulsion beyond my control, and not just a free will choice. There are so many things I love more than dressing, and I hate whenever the dressing comes between me and something/someone I love.

In the end, I'm content, not thrilled, with what I am. In many ways my response is very similar to that of my wife: I can accept it, but I don't do anything to encourage it and I'd be just as happy if it went away. If there were a cheap, foolproof, instantaneous solution (the "magic pill" we talk about) that would rid me of the urge and make me happy wearing guy clothes all the time, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

Sorry I couldn't join in the enthusiastic support you got on this thread, Gabby, but I'm sure glad you wrote it. You gave me a lot to think about.

ralph

You are not alone Gabrielle,I love it to.And to elaborate,I believe I deserve the right to enjoy my life and time the way I see fit,I've spent the first part of my life pleasing others,so now it's my turn to experience a bit of freedom and choice.

Oh baby I love being a CD. I never really hated myself but I guess like alot of the other girls I had some internal conflict going on. Now the conflict along with the mens underwear are gone. I'm lovin life. I wouldn't change a thing.
Great post.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AliciaWeb

The only part of being a CD that I hate is not being able to do it freely. I am who and what I am and always will be, CDing is one of that last parts of my being I would relinquish, probably only before loving my family..

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I agree with Alicia - I love being a CD, love talking to my wife about girly things, etc, I just wish that there were more people like my wife around me - people with whom I could be myself and not worry about becoming an outcast.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vikki2020

I totally love it! Now. I also loved it when I first started dressing, and that's why I'm still here 40 years later.I will say that is a lot easier now than it was then, however.We all have to evolve at our own pace,in different environments, to get to accept our fem side. I think a lot of it has to depend on our age,because for me, if I were 19 today, with the internet opening so many doors, and attitudes in general being much more accepting of all lifestyles,things would be much different!I'm just happy that I can enjoy them today:)

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Yea I hate that the internet came along so late in my cross dressing life.. I don't know where I would have been if I would have been on a site like this twenty years ago, or as you say forty years ago.. because I think I might have been able to pass or be passable when I was early twenties maybe even late teens.. oh well....

Thanks,great post. Sure I enjoy Cding a lot. For me it is a vehicle for fluid gender expression. I enjoy being a man but could be just as happy being a woman. Cding lets me dress the way I feel and my only regret is the rest of the world isn't quite as enlightened.

I don't know how you managed to conclude that most of us are unhappy about our being CD. Most of the posts I read seem to indicate that we are a pretty happy bunch about who and what we are. Some of us may agonize about the need to be in the closet but most of us seem to cope.

Vieja

I love being a CDer. Since I finally embraced my female side a year and a half ago, I've come a long way. When I'm at home I'm always dressed femme,sleep femme and the best part is that my wife supports me. I just wish I would've embraced it alot sooner instead of finally doing it at 43.


Felicity :)

you look good...you FEEL good..Whats not to love?

I cant say whether i love CDing or not cos at this point in my life i have never enjoyed CDing the way i wanted, had it been i have explored all the aspects of CDing and discover its potential may be i would have made up my mind, but for now i think i will do better without it.

I know a few of you are not quite so happy with where you are in your life right now, and I'm sorry. I think you'll feel better in time... when you're ready. :)

To those of you who chimed in with all those great, positive, "I love cding too" comments - THANK YOU so much! :) You made my day... my week, and my whole year! Ok, maybe not the whole year. :heehee:

I'm bookmarking this thread. The next time there's a rash of purging, self-loathing, confused threads, I'm going to revisit this one. I'm going to read every post over again and remember my sisters who celebrate who they are rather than let society's BS dominate their lives.

There is nothing wrong with being a cd. The problem lies within society's idiotic stigma attached to it. That's it. That's all. I'm a girly-man and I love it! The only purging I will ever do is that of my own negative feelings.

To all you happy sisters out there. PLEASE help make a difference. Open minds and hearts. Live your lives as positive examples of who we are. Let society know transgendered people are not freaks. There'll be a lot less purging and "going to stop because it's the right thing to do..." threads once the stigma has been eradicated.

Put an end to the pain in our confused sisters. EDUCATE SOCIETY!

Not everyone's wife will want a cd husband. BUT once the stigma is gone, there'll be no more secrets kept and so future cd's will not go through this BS again.

Thanks again, everyone. I love you so much! :love:

99% of the time I really love being a CD. That other 1% is when the makeup doesn't apply as well as better days lol.

Its a good time to be a CD and I plan on making the most of it every chance I get.

*hugs*

Zarabeth

Why would I hate getting to be Carol
Nice to meet you Carol

When i get all dolled up, I feel really wow, but, I am very vigilent, not to be found out, by neighbors, or people who know me, or those in the church. I can understand the long, difficult, "curse within", that Curse often addresses. I have lived an emotional, mental living hell, too, being rejected by father, 55 years of ridicule, by older brothers, bed wetting until 20, emotional incest with an insecure mom, putting on mom;s and sisters clothes, very strict religion, which condemns cd, hundreds of rejections, by single women!!! Too tall. I have been in recovery stages, since 31yrs old, but, I know I have severe emotional illness, hate myself, believe my family, and me were cursed from birth. None of us has a SO! In spite of all this overwhelming pain within, I work very hard physical labor, keep learning about everything under the sun, and beyond it, and only dress up occasionally, in order to not let it take over , and destroy me, I am an addictive, hyper sensitive, personality, who can go off the deep end, so easily. If there was a pill I could take, to remove all urge to dress, I would take it, even though, I really like getting dolled up, and taking lots of pics. It is an escape, from the living hell, hardness of this dangerous, loveless world, though, and, I feel less shame and guilt, than I once did. I always enjoy your honesty, and input, Gab. I am helped by it.

I adore being a CrossDresser. Being a CrossDresser is a vital, precious and cherished part of me. I am grateful that I learned to embrace Shannon and to allow (encourage!) Shannon to express herself, not only alone but to trusted others. It is a special and unique experience. I hope that each person, in his or her own way, has something as special and unique to experience.

I must love it...why else would I keep doing it? I think it is the pressure society places on us that makes us feel bad and once you feel bad about something that is part of who you are how can you feel good about yourself? Once you learn to accept yourself life gets better.

I'm with you I wouldn't have it any other way. I would truely miss Daviolin if she went away. And now that I came out to my wife I hope to enjoy her more:love:flickr.com/photos/daviolin

When I was in the closet I had those whoah is me feelings...BUT since I found Dee and the courage to get out the door have no boundriesand socialize with other CD's I can honestly say it has been GREAT! I have come to embrace being a CD and absolutely love it. Would not trade this for anything.

Dee

As I have gone through the various purges along the way, feeling like it was wrong. I finally came to accept myself as who I am. Accepting both sides of myself. It takes a long time to be able to do that, and haveing accepting friends helps a lot. I like who I am now, and feel that I am more of a complete person having 2 sides and being able to express both the male and female of me. I am enjoying my life more now than ever before.

Hi Gabrielle

Let me tell you I am very ok with myself and have been all of my life. I have been CD forever. I am now 52. I am also a double LEO. LOL....... confidence is not lacking here. Both female and male. There is a strong balance of both.

I found this site a couple of weeks ago. I have been enjoying the company as I did not know that it excited.

I still cry when I run onto something that touches my heart. I see lots of issues that I have worked thru and new ones I never tought of. I like the site.

I hope you can find what it is you are looking for. Sounds like you are at a cross road in life.


Hugs

Jill

I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel sorry for men who don't CD.