My world - and mine alone! ?

Well here is my honest thought coming from a GG perspective on the many different posts I've read. I am an accepting wife. I have known and have participated in my husband CD life for many years. It has not always been easy for either one of us but we go on trying. I see that many of you talk about how important it is to be accepted by your S/O and how important it is to come to an agreement about boundries you can both feel comfortable with. Then in the next breath when some of you decide to push the boundries you expect us to accept part and parcel whatever it is that you decide you need now to make you happy and if and when we are not comfortable with that we are the villians. No, I have not had to "live it" but I do "live with it" . In my relationship I don't expect or want everything to be MY WAY. Do you not think that there are alot of you who expect it to be YOUR WAY or NO WAY. Anyway, this is what I'm getting from reading, not from all but from enough of you so that it's scaring me and making me wonder if this is what's in store for me. I hope not.

Welcome Way2real! :)

You express what many GG SOs experience and there are threads in the forum that will prove your point. But in this particular thread, it was my impression that many TGs were arguing from the non-accepting SOs POV, asking why SHOULD she be forced to support the CDing when it is uncomfortable for her to do so. :hugs:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kellycan27

I don't understand why you feel that crossdressers are a special case.

---

I was not arguing this at all, rather there is no need for any group including CDs to have to battle the way women and gays had to in order to break through the stubborn walls of societal prejudices. CDs still need to stand up and demand their rights but they should expect their rights to be acknowledged and granted over a period of time as part of society's progressive tolerance to differences. This is exactly what has happened. TGs have secured many legal rights without there being any meaningful TG movement and society's values will change in time simply through exposure and education to TGs.

Quote:

---

I personally know a lot of crossdressers that are out and about.. They have jobs,friends,families, and nobody seems to want to kill them.

---

Quite correct, society tolerates TGs so many fears of CDs leaving the closet are overblown. However that does not mean that our situation is rosy. Those who leave the closet will most likely lose some family and friends, and they may have to had to switch careers to find a job that would accommodate them. Their SOs and children will likely have had to fight against the negative stigma. This is not an easy decision and every person has to weigh the benefits and the deficits and for many the correct decision for them personally is to stay hidden.

Kelly, you speak from the viewpoint of a full time TG. Most CDs are nowhere near this level of transgenderness that would make going full time the correct decision. Mostly they are ok with being male and enjoy some masculine behaviors, past-times etc. They are what I call tomgirls - men who want the freedom and acceptance to act girly when they choose to do so. Some are content with temporary and infrequent dressing and so staying in the closet works just fine even though it is less than ideal. Life is not fair, compromise is often needed not just in personal relationships but how they interact with society, many are OK with this balance.