FROM THE BACK OF THE CLOSET: Week 2 If You Could Go Back In Time

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FROM THE BACK OF THE CLOSET: Week 2 If You Could Go Back In Time

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...and know what you know now about crossdressing/transgenderism and how much it means to you and your well being and overall happiness would you have told your spouse?

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Even now, I just don't know. Her reaction to it all has been completely negative. It's something she just does'nt want in her life. But I do. Looking back on everything, not just this, I'd likely have kept looking, and found myself a spouse who was more accepting of alternative lifestyles from the get go, and one without her own children already. Both her unwillingness or inability to accept this in any way, and the step-child factor, have been very painful to me. I'd not be willing to go through all that again.

I would go back and not get married/divorced and do it sooner!
well I can't say that, I guess I had to explore both sides of the fence.

It took me 20 years to figure it out, and I live alone now and I enjoy coming home and slipping into something more comfortable......not always as neighbors come by, but ALWAYS at night, always.......

I don't think there are many women that would stay around if they just met you and you told them. It just seems to be the way it is. Partly jealousy? Partly it's not what they consider "Normal"?

I'm not sure, but I decided to take a year or two off from dating and explore this for a while.

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Originally Posted by Tclosetgirl

I don't think there are many women that would stay around if they just met you and you told them. It just seems to be the way it is. Partly jealousy? Partly it's not what they consider "Normal"?

I'm not sure, but I decided to take a year or two off from dating and explore this for a while.

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Well I think taking some time and figuring what you want is a super smart idea.

But as for women not staying around....well....if you go looking for some tight-lip women whose idea of a good time is reading the Bible, and has no interest in alternative lifestyles...:p

I mean I keep saying this like a zillion times over, there are ALOT of cool/fun/exciting women who will be up for this lifestyle. But you have to be willing to take a chance on a unique girl. I mean, no one would ever confuse 'me' with the girl next door. I have met alot of women in all age groups who are open to this, some have been my good friends. Do they lead conventional lives, have conventional jobs, or backgrounds.....usually a big no. But if one is not 'open' to exploring women who are also not "normal" then one is destined for a live of rejection and dissapointment.

But the most important part is this: if YOU are not in a comfortable, level-headed mental place with this her acceptance is useless.

Anyway...good luck on discovering who you are.

This is a grat place to stat that journey.

I would not have wasted all these years period. Hoping and praying it would "go away". I probably would have met a woman who was accepting because I would have been doing it wide open and publicly. All this denial is what pushed most of us in the closet. I hope any young cd's or tv's don't repeat the same mistakes.

my recent ex G/F and I have talked about it, and acted on it and enjoyed it - but she still had issues with it while we were dating last year.....but she made the comment to me "Guys would be all over you if you went out"......and that made me feel good.....

But after a break from it I brought it up, I think I *HAVE* come to find out who I am and I explained that to her and she's very comfortable with it. That's p artly why I'm here, I'm comfortable enough to come out of the closet enough to talk about it! :)

Anyway that made me feel good to talk to her openly tonight and honestly.......and of course we went shopping tonight too! Picked up a nice little babydoll, she wants to see me in it tomorrow night - :)

:doll: if i new to-day what i know now about my dressing as a girl i would have remained single. because now i would dress 24/7 if i could. Also i would have my own breasts. But now i only wear day to day what i can, panties are a must a bra and stockings, petti-coat two if the weather is not to warm. And i would rather be a girl anyway. My wife knows about Christine after i told her my story of how it came to be.But if I told her before we married which I should have. I would be living and working as the girl I new I should have been.

I told my second wife before we got married. It was all cool until she had the thoughts of, what will people think if they find out, which no one ever did. we are divorced now, but best freinds and she feels some guilt because unlike when we were married, she now participates in my dresseing and shopping for clothes. but she never wanted to see before we were married. so my advice to everyone is to have a potential spouse see and appreciate before a marriage...........

I did tell her befor we were married and she said she was ok with it but truth be told i think she felt that she could "cure"me well I was never cured and after 19 years and 2 kids she had had enough and we divorced. Michelle is now mostly out of the closet. But more to the topic if i knew then what i know now i probably would not have married rather i would have pushed to live as a female then while it was physically possible. now the changes just wont be the same but im still going for it

I didn't tell my wife untill after we were married.In retrospect it was a bad move, she has always felt that i was dishonest with her and it is something that will always be in the back ground between us. She doesn,t have a problem with the dressing its the not knowing whats going on in my head that she finds difficult to deal with.

After ten years of knowing she still feels that there is more bad news to follow in that i will want to become a woman full time.She often questions me to see if my need to dress has become stronger.

Im happy with the amount of time i get as rachel but i wish i had told her in the first place when we first met so she would have felt included in decision to get married to this other person.

That's a good question. I had "toyed" with crossdressing back in my mid-twenties. I would go out, buy a pair of cheap pumps that were one or two sizes too small and a pair of pantyhose. Then I'd run home, shave my legs and spend several hours wearing them. I'd always feel guilty, shred the hose, and throw them and the shoes away, and vow never to do it again.

When I first met my wife to be, I found that she (seemed to) enjoyed dressing the way I liked to see a woman dress. She even let me dress her up, buying her high-heels, short skirts, etc. Boy, once the rice was out of our hair, I seldom saw any of those outfits again. I had really thought that the urge to dress had left me when I met her. After a year and a half or so, it came back.

One night, I decided to "surprise" her and hid in the bed in one of her T-shirts, pantyhose and a pair of heels. She was surprised!!! She even thought it was cute. She remarked that most women would love to have my legs. She even played with me. It was such a relief to have her know!

She assured me that this did nothing to tarnish my image in her eyes. Pretty soon, I was wanting to dress "for her" more often. It didn't take long until she would sigh and get upset when she saw me dressed, so the agreement was that I would do my dressing "away from her". She is no longer interested in looking her best for my benefit any longer, nor is she interested in any intimacy, so I have gone farther with my dressing than I had ever anticipated I would go. I am not ready to leave her, by any means, nor (do I think) she is interested in leaving me. We have two kids and together, we are great parents. Even still, I'm not certain I would do anything differently. As bad as this sounds, I am not unhappy. As long as I can dress-up and indulge my feminine side and look my best, I will stay!!!!

Hi To all that read this

I am a new member and like to say. " I told my partner with in a week of meeting her and we are still together after eight years "

The thing about telling anyone is you have to know what all the conciquecse are and what you wont deep down. Most women react with anger or confussion due to shock once they have been told their partner Crossdresses. This is a natrual reaction. But armed with todays knowlege about the subjet I feel once the reaction is over you both have to decide which is the best way forward.

I'm not married, but thinking back over the years and all the g/f's I've had and hid it from, I really should have brought it out, and the sooner the better. The g/f I have now and my last ex, both knew long before we had gotten serious.

So yes, I'd definately make sure she knew, and understood that it's in no way a threat to her or us.

Yes I should have told my wife 9 years ago about my CDing. But back then I was not in any relationships so I thought back then I CD'd because I didn't have any girlfriends. Now I know that I am really TG wanting to become TS. If I knew then what I know now I would had shought out SRS back then. But then again because of marraige I have gotten to experience fatherhood births, deaths, and all that. Things that I would have never experienced if I became TS earllier on.