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Thanks Riene. Though there is one more I'm surprised wasn't on there. Slow/stop of male pattern hair loss. This is the biggest one for me. I find it impossible to face growing older and knowing my hair will progressively get thinner and fall out. I can't see not taking hormones as I move to full time.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
1) doesn't bother me so much. I think there is some legitimacy in all forms of gender expression. At the same time I think there would be unexpected costs associated with the constant switching back and forth, like a never-ending transition, where people never learn how to interact with you from day to day; and/or people will have a hard time taking the female presentation seriously and/or the psychological workload of trying to keep up two lives. But maybe that is what the OP wants. Maybe when the time comes the OP will decide the costs are too high and will decide to stick with one presentation. In either case I tend to think it's the OP's right to live in a bizarre manner if she wants to. Thankfully we all have that right.Quote:
Originally Posted by Joan Merrie
2) Is the one I find a bit disturbing and indicates that the OP either hasn't done her homework, or is living in fantasy land. I think if she was making an informed decision - aware of the risks, she should be allowed to make it - but... this doesn't sound informed to me.
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Originally Posted by Hope
SHE HAS A DOCTOR!
Sorry for shouting but she said she was going to F'n therapy already. What do you people want?
You ladies remind me of those old biddies that give me dirty looks in the cosmetics aisle at Target.
Let Veronica and her doctor work this out.
Disturbing indeed.
-Misty
[SIZE=2]Naw..[/SIZE]Quote:
Originally Posted by Misty is Kindafem
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[SIZE=2]Not in a million years...so no worries Misty[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]Life is way too short to sweat the small stuff..[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]In the end, no matter what I or others say, many do what they want anyways, regardless of the warnings coming from years of experience..[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]As far as Veronica goes, it doesn't matter to me either way of what she wants...but I'll wish her the best & hope she can find whatever shes looking for...[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2]Me ka `oia`i`o, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE][SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Aloha ahiahi......:drink:[/SIZE]
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Let's do our best to keep the level of antagonism towards one another down a bit..., k?
True, that. She has a doctor, and a therapist. So why'd she ask around here? Was she looking for opinions or affirmation? Her first response to a few posts tells me it was the latter, and I haven't got a problem with that, or with whatever anyone does with their own body. But ask a question, and yer gonna get folk's opinions. And since the title of this forum starts with the word transsexual, whattya think the prevailing opinion will be? Actually, Veronica recieved a pretty well varied spectrum of responses. I don't know how ya get "snotty" out of the ones cautioning her about HRT, which, even with a doctor's and therapist's help, is still a pretty serious undertaking. She seemed to be asking about the consequences concerning her penis. She asked for opinions. She got'em. You and her are taking a path that is a bit different than most here. You may be aware of alternatives some of us aren't aware of, or frankly, probably haven't even bothered to check into. That's fine. I truly wish ya the best. But I've known many of the people here for a while and I know how gracious and willing to give they can be, and I don't know why the instances of name-calling, accusations, sarcasm, or the seemingly bending over backwards to be contrarian were necessary.Quote:
Originally Posted by Misty is Kindafem
Hugs,
Melissa:)
I see you are asking people for there opinion on how they have been affected, and not for medical advice. you seem to have this already, and roused some feelings i see.Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronica Nowakowski
If you take HRT some or the symptoms are reversible, but it is not guaranteed which ones, i have read that you sperm count can come back, but it might not.Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronica Nowakowski
May i ask do you have a partner now, because if you have hrt and change to look more like a woman it may affect your chances in the future to get a partner, just a thought to throw in there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronica Nowakowski
I'm not sure that implants would be enough for you, as without any breast fat they will in my none professional opinion look real, also you would still have male nipples..Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronica Nowakowski
I can totally understand were your coming from, the desire to look like and be like a woman is strong, but there is also another strong feeling and that is that you want to have children in the future.Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronica Nowakowski
There is no right and wrong way to go about things, they just all have different consequence's, people may have opinions and some will be stronger than others, and be expressed differently, and i feel no one on this forum has a right to judge others, as we are all outside what society in genera,l would class as normal, and the whole idea of having this forum is for mutual support and advice, Veronica, my advice to you is to read all the responses, talk to your doctor and make a decision that suites you, and what you think you want for the future, because what you want in the future may change one way or another.
So many responses seem dead set on that if your goal is not surgery then you are not serious. If gender has no relationship to genitalia then what is under your skirt is irrelevant, except to the person wearing the skirt and their partner. In regards to wanting a functioning penis and breasts why does that preclude her wanting to be a woman? Once again, gender identity is not genitilia.
With the attitude that it is all or nothing and that if you are not in the all category than where does that leave the women who cannot have surgery for medical reasons? Are they not real in the opinion of those in this forum? And what message are we giving them by taking that position?
There is also the reality of life. I recognize that my spouse has had to give up a lot of things because of the gender issue. But to become a woman does that mean she has to throw away her brain? Reality is she has a family to support and she is in a male job. In the future maybe she will be able to find something comparable, but to leave her family in the street is not a loving, compassionate, intelligent decision and I respect her more for the fact that she recognizes that she has to balance her needs against the families' needs, which is a very female thing to do in my book.
My spouse is on hormones. I have no problem with her wearing whatever she wants to at the pool. If that means shorts and a bikini top, so be it. If that means going topless, I envy her getting away with it.
If you want hormones make sure to follow the standards of care. Get a therapist and talk with a doctor. If they feel it is safe and that you have gender disphoria then you may get hormones.
Only once I realized what hormones trully mean and would do did my therapist agree to give me my letter. Originally I wanted hormones to make me a female (easy way out) but now I know I am female (had to work at it and learn what it means to be a female) and I haven't taken hormones yet.
For me being a female is not a fun thing but a this is who I am am and I finally feel normal thing and I am having fun while I do it. It can be hard some times but it is so rewarding.
[SIZE=4]WOW, this was an exceptional thread, after reading it all the way through. I did everything WRONG. But I have been living and completely accepted as a woman for over 2 nearly 3 years, complete with female ID. I am likely non-op unless I finally get a nice big $1 million from the suit against the city that fired me solely because I said I was trans and was wearing a wig (had worn for 7 years before transition) and a SKIRT (OMG!!!)
I do not even consider myself a trans person any more, just a woman. (Don't bother with the "you are really a man crap")
I would not tell anyone else to follow my path, but if someone does, it is their choice and their risks, and their considered choice just like it was mine.
I see a lot of related actual experiences posted on here which I think was what the OP was asking for anyway.
To go with the flow: I have B breasts. I have very low sex drive, erections only a memory, ejaculations down to about 25% of what pre transition on a yearly basis was. Quantity
is less than formerly, but even in me I think quantity is dependent on interval between ejaculations. Notable shrinkage of the thing, maybe of those damned berries I would like to discard. They make my panties not fit so well.
Result of 20yrs saw palmetto, nearly 3 years of fenugreek, and six months of estrace vaginal cream, and one month of progesterone cream and estrogen cream. Cream used daily, and applied to my breasts. Saw 1/2 inch over bust measurement increase over the last 2 months.
I was attacked for mentioning the above regimen before by those of the medical religious fanatic persuasion claiming it can't work (must be because only FDA approved regimes with prescription medicine are the only things that can possibly work. At least that is the party line!)
Personally I agree with the probable majority ----- Do NOT go near any HRT hormones unless you are completely serious about transitioning and living as a female. I would rather die than live one day as a (pretend) man.
One thing in my favor - I don't have a spouse, but I have a gg gf that will marry me today just as I am. She also knew me for 16 yrs before transition.
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I'll add my two cents.Quote:
Originally Posted by Empress Lainie
I agree with Misty. Like her, I have avoided discussing hormones on this site due to the sanctimonius knee-jerk reactions which always result. I probably will never transition fully. I probably will never live 100% full time as a female..., nor as a male. But hey, it's my body and my life, so get over it!
Hormones are not all or nothing. A small dose might not affect one's ability to orgasm. It hasn't mine, even after three or four years now. So what has E done for me? It gave me a body I'm happy with, with fat in the right places, small breasts, softer face. But more than that (much more!), it's been like a fountain of youth. I feel young again, more alive, and much more happy than I was before taking E. I'm content, at peace with myself and the world, and a lot of this I attribute to estrogen.
I'd love to be a young, pretty girl. God, yes! I've always felt that i should have been born a girl. But it's not going to happen; even if I transition, I'll be an older woman, good looking at best, but too old to be pretty. Plus, I've got certain family responsibilities. So maybe I'll continue on as I have over the past few years: sometimes I appear as a female, and sometimes I appear as a guy, albeit a feminine guy. Maybe this bothers people, but it is who and what i am.
Cindi Johnson
I'm not going to point fingers, but it seems like some who have posted in this thread need to go back to their therapists for more help.
Just because you know everything to know about YOUR situation, doesn't mean you know jack about someone elses. Everyone is different and drugs react differently to everyone.
For instance, most everyone I know that has to take percocets for pain, it numbs them and some even go completely limp (whole body). Me, I can chew them up, swallow them, snort them (never done that), what ever, and they have no effect on me. Most drugs don't. But estrogen does.
So....
Unless you have indelible proof whether something will happen or won't happen 100% of the time, don't speak about it like it's certain.
This thread reminds me of a saying I've heard many times that has worked very well for the most part for me.
Quote:
It is better to remain silent and be thought a (Fill in the blank) than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt
if you don't want peoples opinions why post at all and why read other posts?
its just information...saying you chew percocets and they don't bother you makes you no more or less credible than anyone else..it has nothing whatsoever to do with HRT.
if i can't share my own personal experience then what should i share?
Good question.... :strugglinQuote:
Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele
IME, many times questions like this are asked, not for answers, but to find validation that what they think or want to do is okay.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele
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Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele
[SIZE=2]EXACTLY..!!!![/SIZE]Quote:
Originally Posted by pamela_a
[SIZE=2]Maybe we should all just say F*** it, and let them find out the hard way..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]After all, what do we know....:brolleyes:[/SIZE]
I've been reading and keeping up with this thread and really appreciate all of the discussion and even though I've read a lot about HRT I was surprised at the variation in experiences. I'm not on HRT and not sure that I will go there. I've got a lot of professional counseling and issues to resolve before I do, if I ever do, but I know that if I do decide to start HRT that it's going to be a permanent part of me with permanent effects.
So please keep sharing your own experiences as I'm sure that there are others out there that are reading for their own education.
Hugs,
Helen
All we can do is give answers that are based on years of research and personal experience, but like Karen said, what do we know?
GK
That's my point. But we are all stupid and don't know 'nutin.:D:hugs::love:Quote:
Originally Posted by Karen564
After all what do I know, I'm just a trans:JoanMerrie:
Actually several decades for some of us. Then again personal experience and knowledge has not been valued for decades either.Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsyKaren
What a shame that many of these "knowledgeable professionals" were taught what they know by those that had real world experience since what was in the books was wrong.
BTW nice thread hijacking Misty.
Veronica
My little appendage is no friend to me - and the sooner it's gone, the better. I have always considered the "little friend" to be nothing more than a bothersome urine delivery device.
JoAnne Wheeler
Let me clear up a few things here (I really wish I wasn't absent from the site while this thread flared up). My intention here was to be a *******, not someone who goes back and forth from male to female - that's what I do now. My concern is 1) having kids and 2) I don't know what my eventual mate is going to want :/ I have since realized that artificial insemination through injecting my frozen sperm into my wife isn't going to cost tens of thousands of dollars like it costs with a surrogate mother. I posted this because I wanted to try to figure out what I wanted to tell my gender therapist about my goals. I'm still not sure what I want to do here.
I have certainly been told puritanical falsehoods (like how I was told in elementary that alcohol's called a downer because it makes you depressed). I found out from a trans support group that if you start getting issues with erections, it can be reversed, but the sterility remains. It's dangerous when you tell lies like that, because it can add to people ignoring all the good advice.
I also don't believe in thread hijacking (in the way atheists don't believe in God). This thread was my vehicle to asking the questions I needed to ask, but I think it silly to suggest that only I can have my questions answered in it. I do not own this thread.
I don't plan on going to the beach in male mode if I were to transition. I have gynecomastia anyways, so I keep my shirt on just the same.Quote:
Originally Posted by Joan Merrie
I was doing my homework by asking. The thread wasn't any final decision that I was going to take this action or that action. You have to find out what's going on first.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope
Have you read my posts? I was disappointed to find out what I did, but then I started discussing alternatives. Does that suggest that I was just looking for affirmations? I see I've been painted quite poorly in my absence.Quote:
Originally Posted by Joan Merrie
I do not, I haven't in ages. I know what problems that may cause, which is the primary issue I'm having in figuring out what I want to do. However, the person I am meant to be with may be a confirmed lesbian at this point in time as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Elizabeth 66
I don't know either, though I do have pretty much A cups from my gynecomastia.. not sure if that will be enough or not for the D's that would be proportional :/Quote:
Originally Posted by Elizabeth 66
Yeah, that's kinda how some of the posts were making me feel, in particular the one which set me off, and which was deleted. And no it's not the information, it's the judgmental attitude that some posters have had.Quote:
Originally Posted by lizlizzie
I never said I didn't want to live as a woman, I said I wasn't sure about losing my penis.Quote:
Originally Posted by Empress Lainie
In finale, I may decide to make the full transition..... I can certainly go ******* in between. I'm a bit irritated when some people decided that I am not woman enough to be discussing this, presuming that my hesitation had to do with me not really wanting to be a woman rather than perhaps having other demons to deal with. Others, who had the same opinion of those people, but who haven't been judgemental are quite appreciated by contrast. If I quoted you and responded in rebuttal does not mean you're in the earlier group, but clarification only.
This thread makes me almost feel bad for having breasts without hormones. Then I realize I don't care and skip on my merry way. And no, I can't go out in public shirtless without feeling naked and exposed so there.
And I am going the slow boat route to hrt because I tried it the other way, tried to rush things, did spiro for a month, flipped the f' out, had an anxiety and tear filled breakdown, and purged.
I guess it is what works for you but I have had to come to grips with my own lack of self acceptance before I decided I am ready to be who I am. Now I am at the point where being accepted by others takes a back seat to me being ok with me. Now that I am ok with that, I am ok with being a woman and transitioning.
on a side note... *******?!? really. What is to me like a certain word begging with n and ending with a savage beating in certain neighborhoods.
If it were a case of asking additional questions or seeking related information I agree. Lack of response from the original poster can take on many meanings. Glad you decided to follow up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronica Nowakowski
I truly believe we are all seeking our own level of comfort. That means that each of us must find what is right for us. There is no such thing as a single standard for everyone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronica Nowakowski
I have seem some take steps that are dangerous for their health and well being... sometimes ending in death or close to it. It is because of these experiences that I (and possibly others) express caution and most of us are trying to prevent seeing others follow that path.
Good luck with finding yours. :hugs:
Veronica
thnx for posting....
Quality of life quality of life quality of life
thats what this is all about
one of the reasons i think some of us can get emotional about this is that we have seen alot of suffering, and much of it has to do with trying to stave off transition or having high hopes dashed ..one of the primary problems being the almost total unpredictability of HRT...and this leads to the default answer of don't do HRT unless you are transitioning...
you are trying to deal with a pretty big issue, and trying to improve your quality of life...its smart to be thinking about risks and rewards...and its smart to get every drop of info that you can get