To the GGs that do like our pics. BY ALL MEANS, post comments!!! LOL
I LOVE to have GGs leave nice comments on my flickr, and on this site too.
Not that I turn my nose up at fellow CDs. Now, some coments from males go right into the recycle bin :)
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To the GGs that do like our pics. BY ALL MEANS, post comments!!! LOL
I LOVE to have GGs leave nice comments on my flickr, and on this site too.
Not that I turn my nose up at fellow CDs. Now, some coments from males go right into the recycle bin :)
I would say no. In my shoes, if I had a girlfriend who was posting photos like that online without my knowledge, I'd be upset by it if I discovered it. If it were something she were up front and honest about, then I'd be fine with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Babeba
Well, I'm sorry to be the one who seems to have to break this to you, but yes the average male very much wants to see you in as little as they can get away with. It doesn't mean that they don't like to see you fully clothed, or that they don't respect you or admire you for other things that you have to offer the world, but yeah, guys like to see women looking sexy. Having said that, I do like to see a girl wearing actual lingerie, such as stockings or a corset, or at least a nicer bra and panty set, than a girl who just strips on down. There's something about the tease and the playfulness of it that does make it seem more feminine, yes, and more classy than just getting right to it. I prefer the concept of burlesque to the concept of a strip club.Quote:
I think it's just the implication I'm seeing on this site that in order to get attention and validation from other crossdressers, one has to post pictures of oneself and the pictures which are encouraged and 'validated' the most, are seen as being the most 'feminine' or 'classy' are ones where the poser is wearing as little as they can get away with. It kind of makes me wonder first off how I am seen from the average genetically male point of view (or any other GG, for that matter) and second off how many 'young' crossdressers end up taking and posting photos they'll regret later because they wanted to fit in and be seen as 'feminine.'
While I think there is some truth to your comments, and I certainly don't want you to think I'm dismissing them, knowing my own perspective, I didn't need anyone to peer pressure me into wanting to dress in lingerie. I think the reason so many of us do it, and so many of us respond to it, is to be honest, the less clothes you wear, the harder it is to pull off. Take my word for this too, there are plenty of examples to be found online of men wearing lingerie that don't even remotely look feminine or sexy and classy might as well be an alien concept. So when we see a crossdresser wearing lingerie and actually managing to tap into that feminine sexuality in a way usually reserved for women, it is pretty impressive. So two things are typically happening when one looks at the photo, we think of the things we like to see when we look at women, and also we have a bit of a vicarious appreciation happening. It makes me feel good to see a CD who can pull off a cheesecake photo because it makes me think wow maybe I have a chance at pulling that off too.
As far as the "showing less" pictures being the most validating, I can't say I agree with your point there, at least not on this forum. While such photos get posted and yes they do get many positive comments, I don't think it's a fair assessment of the majority of the photo threads in the gallery. As I typed this I slipped over to that section in another tab and I opened about 10 different threads on the main page, all of which had at least one full page of comments if not two or three, and none of them were boudoir type shots. In fact, three different threads were either entirely or mostly shots of just the face.
Heh, I have some sets of me wearing just a bra and hose, and heels. I get told I look really feminine, I just see me wearing as little as I am willing to wear in front of the camera. There is also a set of me just in my disco pant....no top. What I see is a male. Male build, male features. To be honest I like those pics of me, and love to get compliments on them from GGs, since I am indeed very androgynous looking.
ah heck, this is the link to that set. http://www.flickr.com/photos/2948214...7624487285884/
my hair is my wild hair, and I have make up, but there is no question as to my true nature.
Now, did I do this set to appeal to men? NO WAY. Some of the captions I state how I would like a real girl in place of my Jeune Fille.
and this is just one of the pantyhose only shots. http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3188/...399030933d.jpg This was a fun shot due to how little I was wearing. Why should women get all the fun? :)
Now will my SO know of this? Hell I am hoping it is one of these pics that attract her :P
Part of being young is doing things that you will ...I won't say regret because everything I did when I was young just made me more who I am now...but wonder why you did them. I recently found a photo of my mother posing with her ankle length skirt hiked high on her thigh (made me stop for a second then made me think "wow my mom was really a real person before I came along and made her age"). I have photos of me in male mode that I hope no one ever ever sees (yet I cannot destroy them...and they were posed and taken by my wife). I have photos of my late wife in various levels of dress that I wish I had more now she is gone and I have a rotten memory. All that isn't the point here but young people will do things that young people do as it has been forever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Babeba
As far as most photos needing to be cheesecake (that's what we old fogeys called it) I either look at the wrong photos or I don't see them as "most" here. Most seem to be fairly benign everyday poses. But I don't look at all the photos.
How are females seen by the average genetic male? Good question. If we go with the hard wire theory, you are looked at as a potential maing partner to distribute genec material (fits the stereotype doesn't it?). On the yang part of that women look at men for potential protection (now a days money more than muscle but muscle still works).
I will go out on a limb here. The majority of TG's here are not here for the sexual thrill. So this site is slightly different than most. I will also postulate that many people here actually are to some degree transgendered and not fetishists (Ok I know at least one person is going to disagree on that). So I agree with JTOR on checking other sites if you think the photos here are suggestive (well they are suggestive more than blatant). I will refer back to my original reply here. Many pictures posted are what many see in women's magazines. Yes they titillate the male but they also subliminally have some attraction to females or else DKNY and others would not be in business long. I will even say that most pictures here really are like looking at a woman's magazine...with a fair number of everyday suburban woman poses thrown in.
Do we need to show a lot of skin to get validation? Not so much here I think. Most the photos I have posted are what you would see from me on an average day. Yes, the skirts are short but I have the legs so I show them. But they are what I could wear daily on the street. I have photos taht you will never see here (mostly because I am sort of shy about them but more because I don't want to get banned) and I won't delete them forever because they are "sexy" and yes many men would find them attractive at the least. I love the attention I get from my photo posts and I love the replies I get here from my "peers". Am I looking to attract men? I don't need suggestive photos for that, just have to be "visible" on any chat mode on the web. I have turned down more offers from men online than any maid at the Hilton has turned down sheets and I don't even offer mints. And 99% have never seen a photo of me
I agree with the "lingerie as a tease is sexy" sentiment.
I don't have anything really to add, except for what I have stated earlier. We just need to keep in mind that self-identity is complex, even for those who are lucky enough to have "society approved identities". (My wife, for example, often feels unattractive despite my regular reassurance to the contrary... that is her complex self-identity at work). Often, the hodge-podge self-identity that CDers have cobbled together results in doing things that we view as "sexy" in order to project our mental self-indentity into the real world.
As most CDers will tell you, we don't dress for someone else's benefit, we dress for ourselves. Which means the only person we are trying to be attractive to is ourselves. Again, this just reinforces my previous assertion that this is a self-identity issue (i.e. how one views one's self). Sure, we would like to get the approbation of the rest of the world, but that is only to help us confirm that we have succeeded in projecting our mental self-identity.
P.S.
Ryan, that was HILARIOUS stand-up. I don't know why you weren't getting more laughs from the audience (probably too many "macho" guys who couldn't allow themselves to find the humor). I was cracking up. Great stuff. I'd like to see more of your stand-up. When are you coming to Seattle?
Lorileah and JTOR, very fair comments, and I'm glad to hear from your perspectives on this. Eluuzion, what you wrote makes a lot of sense to me, too. The cheesecake photos are by no means the majority (they are fairly rare), but when I see them they tend to get the most comments from other CDs. Also, I totally understand having lingerie (I haven't bought boring underwear since I was about 13) and I also understand taking pictures! I was thinking more along the lines of someone later regretting posting delicate pics for wider consumption... like maybe the husband of Ms. Anonymous GG, should he ever figure out she found pictures that hurt her?